Weddings Sure Have Changed..

[Hisgirl]

My parents paid for our wedding and we will pay for our daughters weddings as well. My parents and I planned my wedding, very traditional. Gorgeous, simple church ceremony and beach reception.

Our oldest daughter is getting married next May, she got some $$$ from her Dad and I...and she's been off to the races making the plans with her fiancé. That is definitely a departure but we are in different states and recognize that we can't be there for all of her decisions. Still a very fun process and they will do whatever makes them happy.

You are currently experiencing what we are doing. My girl is doing most everything from another state. We gave some funds to help. Where did you find your dress?? That's been the hardest part for me. Late October wedding outside, and out of shape arms = no sleeveless dress. I finally ordered a beautiful silk wrap blouse and skirt from Living silk. It should arrive tomorrow. Now to find some spanx!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

One thing hasn’t changed. The couple will expect the parents to pay.

I hope you are being sarcastic. I paid for my wedding and didn’t expect a dime from my parents.

 

[Lilsia]

The article says young people see marriage as "too restrictive" if you haven't already done your traveling, etc. I think the article might be onto something.

I don't think that marriage is too restrictive, at least ours isn't. But I do think that once kids come along, that is were your life dramatically changes. I think the real issue is that people either marry the wrong person for them, or too many don't know how to be together, but still be individuals.

 

[Boopuff]

Oh my the barn wedding trend. Take your barn, burlap and mason jars and burn it! Seriously, my nephew had a barn wedding complete with port-a-potties. (how fun to get all dressed up and maneuver around in a filthy potty!) And whoever thought burlap was a "fabric.. LOL" I could go on but I know many people love this crazy trend.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Oh my the barn wedding trend. Take your barn, burlap and mason jars and burn it! Seriously, my nephew had a barn wedding complete with port-a-potties. (how fun to get all dressed up and maneuver around in a filthy potty!) And whoever thought burlap was a "fabric.. LOL" I could go on but I know many people love this crazy trend.

The barn weddings I've been too have been usually very nice ones. It's basically the venue for the ambiance but I've not been to one that has portapotty or one that resembled a day at the farm.

 

[Donald13]

Back in the 1980s when my friends and I were all getting married, the gal wore a floofy white dress, her parents were the 'host' of the wedding, inviting their friends and circle of peers, showers were thrown, the gifts put on display at the mother's home, thank you notes were written, china/crystal were chosen, etc etc. And if the girl's parents could afford it, they foot the bill. The groom's family hosted a rehersal dinner.

I do realize this was not the same for everyone and I am painting with a broad brush.

Nowadays, it seems only the couple does the planning themselves, the parents are told when to show up, no more showers, not a lot of thank you notes mailed out.

This has been the experience for me, my best friends and their 20 something kids.

Is it the same in all parts of the country?

I'm not complaining at all. AT ALL. So please don't assume I am.

I'm just pointing out how things have changed.

We're in the southern part of the US. My 20 something kid is getting married this fall and hasn't needed my help although I have offered to do anything at all they might need. I'm super excited for this event!

Thoughts? What's been your experience? Do you think all the old traditional wedding events have forever changed?

Ok all this is just wrong. And what are you looking for here? Validation l

OP here. What's wrong with the term 'gal'? I literallly have no idea what is wrong with this term. It's just a casual way of saying girl, woman, lady, female. Like fella, guy, dude etc. I don't know what you mean by out of touch, but if you feel the need to educate me, I'm standing by.

ok. This conversation will go nowhere if you also used the phrase “l’m standing by”. And yes weddings have changed. Should they not have? I don’t understand the point u are trying to make. Gal/fella is quite outdated lingo. Woman or man is fine.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I love my china! I also own my grandmother's wedding china and Christmas china, and they all get used!

I my china AND use it regularly....also my crystal and silver. It's been passed down for several generations. Hopefully the tradition will continue for many more years.

 

[MillauFr]

I hope you are being sarcastic. I paid for my wedding and didn’t expect a dime from my parents.

Exactly.... The newly graduated college students in Seattle working at Amazon making $140k salary + $50k in stock options... They are are making far more than most of their parents. Why should their parents pay for the wedding?

 

[evilmommie]

I ♥ my china AND use it regularly....also my crystal and silver. It's been passed down for several generations. Hopefully the tradition will continue for many more years.

I'm with you! I have several generations of china, crystal & silver and my own beautiful patterns. I use mine all the time. Even BBQ's. hahaha. Life is too short not to enjoy the beautiful heirlooms.

 

[evilmommie]

Oh my the barn wedding trend. Take your barn, burlap and mason jars and burn it! Seriously, my nephew had a barn wedding complete with port-a-potties. (how fun to get all dressed up and maneuver around in a filthy potty!) And whoever thought burlap was a "fabric.. LOL" I could go on but I know many people love this crazy trend.

We have a beautiful barn that includes gorgeous indoor plumbing. So if we ever rent it out for weddings it won't offend.

 

[AustinMommyofThree]

One thing hasn’t changed. The couple will expect the parents to pay.

Oh, Art/Dishrag, you're another thing that never changes (except your username, I guess)!

 

[EMom]

Ok all this is just wrong. And what are you looking for here? Validation l

ok. This conversation will go nowhere if you also used the phrase “l’m standing by”. And yes weddings have changed. Should they not have? I don’t understand the point u are trying to make. Gal/fella is quite outdated lingo. Woman or man is fine.

Although I don't use gal or fella (or dude, for that matter) I mentioned that relatives and their friends in the Midwest say gal (and fella) all the time. It seems to be a regional thing. Someone else indicated something similar. If the poster wants to use those terms, they are free to do so. And if you re-read the OP, it indicates this is just a topic for discussion, not a judgment. Am I reading something different?

 

[MrsPete]

I'm with you! I have several generations of china, crystal & silver and my own beautiful patterns. I use mine all the time. Even BBQ's. hahaha. Life is too short not to enjoy the beautiful heirlooms.

Every time she has a party, my daughter who "didn't want all that" runs to my house to borrow.

We have a beautiful barn that includes gorgeous indoor plumbing. So if we ever rent it out for weddings it won't offend.

I've been to several barn weddings, and every one of them were in venues built specially for weddings ... and they all had, um, facilities.

 

[GreatLakes]

As a general trend the weddings I've been going to lately are less formal and rarely in a church any longer. Even up to around 2010 the vast majority of the weddings I went to were in a church with a reception later in the day. Now most are not, even if the officiant is a member of their religion, and most have the ceremony and reception in the same location and in close proximity.

I much prefer it that way myself.

 

[Hisgirl]

Ok all this is just wrong. And what are you looking for here? Validation l

ok. This conversation will go nowhere if you also used the phrase “l’m standing by”. And yes weddings have changed. Should they not have? I don’t understand the point u are trying to make. Gal/fella is quite outdated lingo. Woman or man is fine.

What on earth, Donald? You misread my original post. I was pointing out all the ways wedding have changed. This was for discussion. The only validation I'm looking for is from other readers who validate that I chose correct grammar, spelled most words correctly, and got my point across.

And 'I'm standing by' means, to me, that I am hoping the posted of the gal comment would educate me why that term is improper. I am waiting, curious, wondering, wanting to know. Standing by. Ready for an education. Let me have it.

I actually found quite an interesting article in The Atlantic about this very thing, what to call a female person. The writer landed on gal as a preferred term. To each his/her/they own.

 

[TippyThomas]

I hope you are being sarcastic. I paid for my wedding and didn’t expect a dime from my parents.

Art's getting exactly what he hoped for. Reactions.

 

[olwyngdh]

I ♥ my china AND use it regularly....also my crystal and silver. It's been passed down for several generations. Hopefully the tradition will continue for many more years.

Same. I don't think my oldest is interested in it, but I know my youngest wants it all. Not sure where she will keep it and when she will use it as she is studying Archeology with the intention on working digs in the Mediterranean, but once I'm dead it is her problem, not mine.

 

[mefordis]

Married in 1999 and paid for the wedding and the rehearsal dinner ourselves. Married in NYC.

 

[Lilsia]

Same. I don't think my oldest is interested in it, but I know my youngest wants it all. Not sure where she will keep it and when she will use it as she is studying Archeology with the intention on working digs in the Mediterranean, but once I'm dead it is her problem, not mine.

My parents and my grandparents, all have numerous China sets. They have curios filled with, what I call crap, that they expect us to take. I don't want that stuff. We won't use them and so they just sit there, taking up space and collecting dust. A few years ago, I had a conversation with my grandma about all of her sets. She said that they collected them because everyone else did and it was about showing off when you had guests over. She admitted how dumb that was and it does not matter what you serve your meal on. I started serving Thanksgiving on paper plates to have less of a mess and she said how smart that was and lamented all of the years of extra work she had to do. LOL

 

[lovesmurfs]

We married in 1990. My parents paid for the wedding (I paid for flowers and photographer). At that time, sit down dinners were expected (NJ), and I told my mother I didn't want to restrict the attendees to who could come to the reception. So had it at the church (poofy gown, yes) and had the reception at the church hall. We decorated it a LOT and had heavy hors d'oeuvres, sweet table, and awesome cake. It was a grand party.

When DS and DDIL got married almost 5 years ago, we gave them $3,000 and paid for the rehearsal dinner. Her parents paid for the rest. Don't have anyone in DD's future, so not really thinking about it, yet.

Yes, we registered, but only because my mother told me I HAD to. So I've got china and glasses and crystal that looks pretty, but doesn't really bring me joy. I really dislike my mother's china (a full 12-person set, complete with soup bowls, compotes, etc.), so when my parents pass, I really don't know what I'll do with it. No worries, yet!