Cannot_Wait_4Disney
The Colombo of Cippolini.
- Joined
- May 18, 2005
Drivers we all love to hate:
1. The turn in front of you guy. You know him. The road is wide open behind you. But he has to turn in front of you. And what does he do afterwards? Lollygags. If you're going to turn in front of me at least have the common courtesy of putting your foot into it!!!
2. The stop and let everyone who doesn't have right of way go guy. Listen bub. I know you want to be nice and all, but suddenly stopping for no reason other than to waive someone turning left through (who usually then gets crashed into by drivers in the right lane who never saw him) is counter productive.
3. Grannie. You know her. She's the one driving 40 in the left lane on the freeway cursiing all the whippersnappers for driving too fast (55)
4. The I'm gonna pass the guy in the right lane at 0.00001 mph faster guy. You know him. Inevitably on a two lane freeway, He pulls out into the left lane because he's going barely faster than the guy in the right lane and backs up traffic for a mile behind him as he takes 10 minutes to make his pass. Get your passing done folks. Don't lollygag.
5. Tailgate Timmie. You know ole Timmie. He's the guy on the freeway that can't drive in his own space. He speeds up until he's right behind someone at Nascar bump draft distance, and then when he decides to go around, he quickly moves up to the next one. Oh but if you think you're concerned when he's behind you, think about how terrified his passenger might feel (in addition to wanting to puke because Tailgate timmie knows only accel brake). Coasting or let er drift isn't in his vocabulary.
6. The I'm disconnecting my emissions equipment because I hate the Gubment guy. You know him. You've gagged behind him on several occasions. Oh and just as an aside, that pick em up truck has never been off the road and hasn't hauled anything either. He bought it to stick it to the emissions standards new world order.
7. The one more one more one more guy. You know him. He's the fifth guy in a row through the red light. Oh and then he can't make it all the way through so he blocks the intersection too. Nice.
8. Car key Cathy. You've seen her. She's the one hawking for the closest spot by the store for 15 minutes despite 20 spots being available 1/3 of the way up the aisle. Oh and when you were going to pull into one and there was an empty one close, and thought yourself lucky? No. You thought wrong. You were unlucky because Car key Cathy was on the prowl behind you and that spot belonged to her. And either A, your car gets vandalized or B, Cathy weaves a tapestry of curses that will hover over that store 20 years from now. Cathy's kids are pretty much slinking away from the embarrassment as fast as they can too. Nice.
9. Road Rage Roy. Oh yes. Roy can't live until he's flipped someone off for the slightest transgression or worse, cut them off and brake checked them or the like. He frequently hops out of his car at stop lights just to bang on other cars and curse people. Roy only knows escalation. Deescalation is not in his vocabulary. And if anyone tries to do so, Roy only gets worse.
1. The turn in front of you guy. You know him. The road is wide open behind you. But he has to turn in front of you. And what does he do afterwards? Lollygags. If you're going to turn in front of me at least have the common courtesy of putting your foot into it!!!
2. The stop and let everyone who doesn't have right of way go guy. Listen bub. I know you want to be nice and all, but suddenly stopping for no reason other than to waive someone turning left through (who usually then gets crashed into by drivers in the right lane who never saw him) is counter productive.
3. Grannie. You know her. She's the one driving 40 in the left lane on the freeway cursiing all the whippersnappers for driving too fast (55)
4. The I'm gonna pass the guy in the right lane at 0.00001 mph faster guy. You know him. Inevitably on a two lane freeway, He pulls out into the left lane because he's going barely faster than the guy in the right lane and backs up traffic for a mile behind him as he takes 10 minutes to make his pass. Get your passing done folks. Don't lollygag.
5. Tailgate Timmie. You know ole Timmie. He's the guy on the freeway that can't drive in his own space. He speeds up until he's right behind someone at Nascar bump draft distance, and then when he decides to go around, he quickly moves up to the next one. Oh but if you think you're concerned when he's behind you, think about how terrified his passenger might feel (in addition to wanting to puke because Tailgate timmie knows only accel brake). Coasting or let er drift isn't in his vocabulary.
6. The I'm disconnecting my emissions equipment because I hate the Gubment guy. You know him. You've gagged behind him on several occasions. Oh and just as an aside, that pick em up truck has never been off the road and hasn't hauled anything either. He bought it to stick it to the emissions standards new world order.
7. The one more one more one more guy. You know him. He's the fifth guy in a row through the red light. Oh and then he can't make it all the way through so he blocks the intersection too. Nice.
8. Car key Cathy. You've seen her. She's the one hawking for the closest spot by the store for 15 minutes despite 20 spots being available 1/3 of the way up the aisle. Oh and when you were going to pull into one and there was an empty one close, and thought yourself lucky? No. You thought wrong. You were unlucky because Car key Cathy was on the prowl behind you and that spot belonged to her. And either A, your car gets vandalized or B, Cathy weaves a tapestry of curses that will hover over that store 20 years from now. Cathy's kids are pretty much slinking away from the embarrassment as fast as they can too. Nice.
9. Road Rage Roy. Oh yes. Roy can't live until he's flipped someone off for the slightest transgression or worse, cut them off and brake checked them or the like. He frequently hops out of his car at stop lights just to bang on other cars and curse people. Roy only knows escalation. Deescalation is not in his vocabulary. And if anyone tries to do so, Roy only gets worse.
