what has been the most stressful day of your life
- Thread starter meaty
- Start date
When my now dd17 was 14 months old, and went into a seizure when I was alone with her. We had no idea she had a seizure disorder at the time. The ambulance got lost on the way to my house, with 911 asking me directions. It took them 20 minutes to get to my house, spent 20 minutes at the house trying to stabilize her, and 20 minutes to get to the hospital. She was in the seizure the whole hour (1 hour, 2 minutes to be exact).
I literally thought she had died in my arms before the ambulance got there. She was grey, her lips were blue, she was breathing so shallowly I couldn't tell she was breathing, and she passed gas (so I thought her bowels let go). I was picturing little pink coffins in my mind, standing on my front porch with her limp in my arms, waiting for help.
Then they did a spinal tap at the ER, and she SCREAMED. The nurse consoled me by saying screaming was a good thing, the ones who don't scream are the ones they worry about. They had given her valium or something, and she was like a vegetable. We asked if she would wake up, and they said they didn't know and they didn't know about brain damage.
They shipped us to a children's hospital. She woke up, we spent 5 days in the childrens hospital with her being tested. That was all stressful, but just as stressful were the next 4 or 5 years. Every time she got sick, she'd spike a fever and go into a seizure (status seizures for her each time, the shortest one being 15 minutes long). We never knew when she was going to need to be rushed to the ER. We never had a sip of a drink for all those years at parties, etc, just never knowing. It was such a horrible time. It was hard to take my eyes off of her. High alert 24/7 for years. She hasn't had a seizure since about 4yo, but has had 106 fevers many, many times.
I have PTSD now, but Lexapro helps a whole lot (plus xanax for me when she gets sick, which with her being older is less frequently, thank goodness). She used to catch every cold and virus, and get fevers if the wind blew too hard, lol.
She has memory issues from the first seizure and lack of oxygen, and she has spikes in her sleep (a seizure thing going on in her brain), which also affect memory. So she has a hard time with retaining information, which isn't good for school, college, etc. We have a way to go with her, but I don't care, she's here and that's all that matters.
I literally thought she had died in my arms before the ambulance got there. She was grey, her lips were blue, she was breathing so shallowly I couldn't tell she was breathing, and she passed gas (so I thought her bowels let go). I was picturing little pink coffins in my mind, standing on my front porch with her limp in my arms, waiting for help.
Then they did a spinal tap at the ER, and she SCREAMED. The nurse consoled me by saying screaming was a good thing, the ones who don't scream are the ones they worry about. They had given her valium or something, and she was like a vegetable. We asked if she would wake up, and they said they didn't know and they didn't know about brain damage.
They shipped us to a children's hospital. She woke up, we spent 5 days in the childrens hospital with her being tested. That was all stressful, but just as stressful were the next 4 or 5 years. Every time she got sick, she'd spike a fever and go into a seizure (status seizures for her each time, the shortest one being 15 minutes long). We never knew when she was going to need to be rushed to the ER. We never had a sip of a drink for all those years at parties, etc, just never knowing. It was such a horrible time. It was hard to take my eyes off of her. High alert 24/7 for years. She hasn't had a seizure since about 4yo, but has had 106 fevers many, many times.
I have PTSD now, but Lexapro helps a whole lot (plus xanax for me when she gets sick, which with her being older is less frequently, thank goodness). She used to catch every cold and virus, and get fevers if the wind blew too hard, lol.
She has memory issues from the first seizure and lack of oxygen, and she has spikes in her sleep (a seizure thing going on in her brain), which also affect memory. So she has a hard time with retaining information, which isn't good for school, college, etc. We have a way to go with her, but I don't care, she's here and that's all that matters.
#1hoosierfan
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2010
9/11. I'm a teacher and we were told to go on as if it was a normal day. My now (ex)dh was in NYC, and I couldn't get a hold of him for hours after the attack.
Wow, this thread may give me PTSD. Let's see...
Many days during the period of DH's cancer diagnosis and treatment. Diagnosis day, High Dose chemo day, Stem Cell Transplant, Three months out and the day we found out if it worked.
Last Summer when my mom called as we were eating breakfast, "I can't wake dad up! I think he's dead." I shook so much that day that it took multiple tries to make the calls that I had to make. Then the whole next week was pretty high stress as my mom and 5 siblings tried to come together and make decisions.
Many days during the period of DH's cancer diagnosis and treatment. Diagnosis day, High Dose chemo day, Stem Cell Transplant, Three months out and the day we found out if it worked.
Last Summer when my mom called as we were eating breakfast, "I can't wake dad up! I think he's dead." I shook so much that day that it took multiple tries to make the calls that I had to make. Then the whole next week was pretty high stress as my mom and 5 siblings tried to come together and make decisions.
You have been thru a lot and pray things will be better as each day goes by
It's very hard for you i know
Know that many will be thinking of you with good thoughts and prayers
thank you, that was really hard to write and I was crying at the end.
Magpie
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2007
I handle stress fairly well. I've dealt with deaths, childhood abuse, sexual assault, courtrooms, medical crises, all sorts of ugliness. When bad things happen, you just keep taking the next step, and when you finally get to stop walking, you curl up and wallow in your sadness for a bit until it's time to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. 3am can be rough, sometimes, but I always know I'll feel better eventually. At baseline, I'm a happy person.
So ultimately, I still count the most stressful day of my life as one I had when I was 11. On the surface, it isn't the worst thing that ever happened to me, not by a long shot. But, unlike most other things, it was all my fault.
I was eleven years old, newly emigrated to Canada from the US. Feeling resentful about being poor, I stole money from my mother (a single parent, working two jobs to keep a roof over our heads). Over time, I stole so much, I realized she'd soon figure it out. So, to try to cover my rear, I stole some more and headed out to the joke shop to purchase a money-printing machine I saw in the window. Yes, I actually thought I could counterfeit money to replace what I'd taken! While running for the bus, I managed to get hit by a car. Went airborne! The cops were called, and after the ambulance driver determined I was fine, they took me and my scraped knees home. I tried not to tell them how to contact my mom, but they got it out of me eventually (quite gently, actually). My mum came rushing home from work and they lectured her about leaving an 11 year old unsupervised, frightening her badly. Feeling guilty, she ran me a bath and took my clothes to launder them... and found an American twenty in my pocket. She knew immediately where it had to have come from - her emergency fund, the money she'd squirreled away in case Canada didn't work out and we had to return to the US. Which was now not an option, thanks to me.
So, I'm standing there in the tub, naked. She's got my jeans in her hand and is about to confront me on my thieving ways, when...
The doorbell rings.
It turns out our neighbour had seen the cop cars out front and decided that now was the perfect time to inform my mother that she'd seen me lighting little fires in the back yard.
My mum thanked her, closed the doors, and started screaming at me. Who was still stuck, naked, standing in the tub. Then she cried. Then she screamed some more. Then she cried again. Then she called her sister and asked her to take me, and her sister bluntly told her to deal with her own problems, and hung up on her (my mum's family were awful - the fact that she even reached out for help at all shows how desperate she was). More crying. More hollering.
It was quite late, before I finally got to put some clothes on and go to bed. She went to bed with a stomachache and a hot water bottle, still crying.
The next day she began trying to work out some kind of supervision for me, since I so clearly needed it. The options weren't great. For awhile, I hung out at the community center after school, but I was too young for the teen program, so I mostly played alone in the playground. Then our landlady stepped up to help out and I was allowed to go to her house after school. She collected children's books and made cookies, so I was very happy there. We're still friends! I also began thinking, for the first time, less about the things I didn't have and more about the person I wanted to be.
I laugh when I tell the story now. And my kids think it's a funny story, too. But the one time my daughter brought it up in my mum's hearing... she almost cried again.
So, this is the one day I count as the most stressful. Because I hurt my mum and it wouldn't have happened if I'd made better decisions, and been a better person.
I really do learn most life lessons the hard way!
So ultimately, I still count the most stressful day of my life as one I had when I was 11. On the surface, it isn't the worst thing that ever happened to me, not by a long shot. But, unlike most other things, it was all my fault.
I was eleven years old, newly emigrated to Canada from the US. Feeling resentful about being poor, I stole money from my mother (a single parent, working two jobs to keep a roof over our heads). Over time, I stole so much, I realized she'd soon figure it out. So, to try to cover my rear, I stole some more and headed out to the joke shop to purchase a money-printing machine I saw in the window. Yes, I actually thought I could counterfeit money to replace what I'd taken! While running for the bus, I managed to get hit by a car. Went airborne! The cops were called, and after the ambulance driver determined I was fine, they took me and my scraped knees home. I tried not to tell them how to contact my mom, but they got it out of me eventually (quite gently, actually). My mum came rushing home from work and they lectured her about leaving an 11 year old unsupervised, frightening her badly. Feeling guilty, she ran me a bath and took my clothes to launder them... and found an American twenty in my pocket. She knew immediately where it had to have come from - her emergency fund, the money she'd squirreled away in case Canada didn't work out and we had to return to the US. Which was now not an option, thanks to me.
So, I'm standing there in the tub, naked. She's got my jeans in her hand and is about to confront me on my thieving ways, when...
The doorbell rings.
It turns out our neighbour had seen the cop cars out front and decided that now was the perfect time to inform my mother that she'd seen me lighting little fires in the back yard.
My mum thanked her, closed the doors, and started screaming at me. Who was still stuck, naked, standing in the tub. Then she cried. Then she screamed some more. Then she cried again. Then she called her sister and asked her to take me, and her sister bluntly told her to deal with her own problems, and hung up on her (my mum's family were awful - the fact that she even reached out for help at all shows how desperate she was). More crying. More hollering.
It was quite late, before I finally got to put some clothes on and go to bed. She went to bed with a stomachache and a hot water bottle, still crying.
The next day she began trying to work out some kind of supervision for me, since I so clearly needed it. The options weren't great. For awhile, I hung out at the community center after school, but I was too young for the teen program, so I mostly played alone in the playground. Then our landlady stepped up to help out and I was allowed to go to her house after school. She collected children's books and made cookies, so I was very happy there. We're still friends! I also began thinking, for the first time, less about the things I didn't have and more about the person I wanted to be.
I laugh when I tell the story now. And my kids think it's a funny story, too. But the one time my daughter brought it up in my mum's hearing... she almost cried again.
So, this is the one day I count as the most stressful. Because I hurt my mum and it wouldn't have happened if I'd made better decisions, and been a better person.
I really do learn most life lessons the hard way!
Cannot_Wait_4Disney
The Colombo of Cippolini.
- Joined
- May 18, 2005
My mum came rushing home from work and they lectured her about leaving an 11 year old unsupervised, frightening her badly. Feeling guilty, she ran me a bath and took my clothes to launder them... and found an American twenty in my pocket. She knew immediately where it had to have come from - her emergency fund, the money she'd squirreled away in case Canada didn't work out and we had to return to the US. Which was now not an option, thanks to me.
Well mum, it's like this. When Cortes landed, he had his ships scuttled and............So Don't think of it as me stealing the emergency fund. I was really just scuttling our ships and........
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Magpie
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2007
Pretty much!
When I turned 16, I became a Canadian citizen.
And in May 2016, to my mother's shock and dismay, I renounced my US citizenship. My poor mum! First she's stranded in a foreign country and then her daughter goes native.
Dizneefamily+4
Wish I could live in Cinderella's Castle!
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2011
I have several. The first was when my oldest (ds16) was born. He decided to make his appearance 6 weeks early for no apparent reason. Dh was coaching a high school baseball game. I had to page him (back then our cellphones were awesomely mounted in our vehicles) so he could get home and get me to the hospital. Ds was born, his lung collapsed, had to have surgery and almost didn't make it.
Second, my dh and same ds as above (when he was 18 mos old) were driving home and were hit by a school bus that ran a stop sign. They were taken by ambulance and the EMTs called me and told me to meet them at the hospital (30 min away.) Talk about a stressful drive!
Third, Mother's Day 2009. I called my mom to wish her a Happy Mothers Day and got her voicemail. Left a message for her to call me back. A little while later, my DAD called me back from my mom's phone and told me that my mom had passed away unexpectedly during the night. My dad has a very twisted sense of humor and I thought he was kidding. Sadly, he was not. She had a heart attack at age 63. That was a VERY tough mother's day.
And next, a year after my mom died, my dad was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer. He would go on to spend the next 2 years in and out of the hospital/nursing home trying to recover. Sadly, he passed away in August 2012 in a hospice center never having spent more than 1 week back at home during that time. That would be the 3rd day.
Second, my dh and same ds as above (when he was 18 mos old) were driving home and were hit by a school bus that ran a stop sign. They were taken by ambulance and the EMTs called me and told me to meet them at the hospital (30 min away.) Talk about a stressful drive!
Third, Mother's Day 2009. I called my mom to wish her a Happy Mothers Day and got her voicemail. Left a message for her to call me back. A little while later, my DAD called me back from my mom's phone and told me that my mom had passed away unexpectedly during the night. My dad has a very twisted sense of humor and I thought he was kidding. Sadly, he was not. She had a heart attack at age 63. That was a VERY tough mother's day.
And next, a year after my mom died, my dad was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer. He would go on to spend the next 2 years in and out of the hospital/nursing home trying to recover. Sadly, he passed away in August 2012 in a hospice center never having spent more than 1 week back at home during that time. That would be the 3rd day.
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Domo
Wotcha
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2012
There was this one day.
Had a mad Russian come into the centre. She had the longest (false) fingernails you have ever seen. Started on a typing course. Got quickly frustrated and started to swear left right and centre (apparently everything around her was ****).
Eventually she took her attitude and stormed off.
Got stuck in the elevator.
Couldn't make it up.
Had a mad Russian come into the centre. She had the longest (false) fingernails you have ever seen. Started on a typing course. Got quickly frustrated and started to swear left right and centre (apparently everything around her was ****).
Eventually she took her attitude and stormed off.
Got stuck in the elevator.
Couldn't make it up.
wilkeliza
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2013
Not really sure the most stressful. There are many many bad days but my copy mechanisms try not to let me get stressed. One that sticks out to me was the night before my senior year of high school. I didn't sleep and just cried all night. Seemed like all the stuff my body wasn't letting me process all hit in the moment I realized I was a few months away from being an adult and a few months away from ultimate. This was also not to long after I finally opened up to someone about the abuse I was dealing with at home so I think nothing happening from that plus the idea of being able to finally be out of this terrible situation even if it wouldn't be as soon just all kind of hit.
bushdianee
<font color=green>I had a water fun day planned<br
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2004
I can think of several also.
1. I was 21 and diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I had a 5lb tumor on each ovary. I am now almost 59, so a good outcome.
2. Watching my dad die of what we found out later was cardiac arrest. He was 65 and had alzheimer's. I was feeding him soup when he seemed to be choking or having a seizure. Thought I'd killed him until the doctor's at the ER said there was no evidence of choking.
3. Watching my mom have sudden cardiac death. Again it looked like she was having a seizure.We were given no hope for her survival or full recovery. She ended up having a pacemaker/defibrilator put in and lived about 10 years with only a little short term memory loss. I was with her when she died peacefully in her sleep.
4. My 4 year old nephew coded the morning after what was supposedly a fairly easy procedure. He ended up on a vent in a medically induced coma. My sister had asked that nobody tell my mom who was in a nursing home at the time until we knew if he would be ok or not. I had promised to visit her that day. It was a hard visit hiding how upset I was. DN is 9 nine now and was diagnosed with 22q deletion syndrome but is doing good.
5. My brother loved to hunt deer with his wife's family. One weekend
he was hunting with a couple of his brothers in law and their sons along with a niece's fiance who had never hunted before. My brother ended up being shot and killed by the inexperienced hunter. The story we were given doesn't make sense but it was ruled accidental and no charges were filed despite the fact that the guy had no hunting license, no deer tags, and wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. They were hunting on a Reservation and if you are not Native American or married to one (my sister in law is Native American) you can't hunt there.
1. I was 21 and diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I had a 5lb tumor on each ovary. I am now almost 59, so a good outcome.
2. Watching my dad die of what we found out later was cardiac arrest. He was 65 and had alzheimer's. I was feeding him soup when he seemed to be choking or having a seizure. Thought I'd killed him until the doctor's at the ER said there was no evidence of choking.
3. Watching my mom have sudden cardiac death. Again it looked like she was having a seizure.We were given no hope for her survival or full recovery. She ended up having a pacemaker/defibrilator put in and lived about 10 years with only a little short term memory loss. I was with her when she died peacefully in her sleep.
4. My 4 year old nephew coded the morning after what was supposedly a fairly easy procedure. He ended up on a vent in a medically induced coma. My sister had asked that nobody tell my mom who was in a nursing home at the time until we knew if he would be ok or not. I had promised to visit her that day. It was a hard visit hiding how upset I was. DN is 9 nine now and was diagnosed with 22q deletion syndrome but is doing good.
5. My brother loved to hunt deer with his wife's family. One weekend
he was hunting with a couple of his brothers in law and their sons along with a niece's fiance who had never hunted before. My brother ended up being shot and killed by the inexperienced hunter. The story we were given doesn't make sense but it was ruled accidental and no charges were filed despite the fact that the guy had no hunting license, no deer tags, and wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. They were hunting on a Reservation and if you are not Native American or married to one (my sister in law is Native American) you can't hunt there.
I can't imagine how hard that must be! Still having her must make you so grateful, but I can't imagine how strong you had to be to get through those hard years!
I went through four years of high stress on a job I had, due to gross mismanagement. I tried to deal with it, since the pay was great, and my coworkers and I were like family. After a couple of years, and a pay cut, I found it was impossible to deal with the stress anymore. By the time I realized I needed to get out, it was hard to find other jobs. Because of the "Great Recession", decent IT jobs in this area were hard to find unless I wanted to take a huge pay cut, and I couldn't move, so I was stuck.
After nearly four years of high stress, I simply stopped caring one day. After that, things were much better. I then found a new job with no stress about six months later.
Sadly, i'm stuck with the 90 pounds I gained due to the stress.
After nearly four years of high stress, I simply stopped caring one day. After that, things were much better. I then found a new job with no stress about six months later.
Sadly, i'm stuck with the 90 pounds I gained due to the stress.
DVC-Don
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2001
Back in 1981 I was in the "chase car" during a drug raid on a home. (Chase car means I remained parked down the road watching for certain vehicles connected to the suspects that may appear during the raid) Well, a van matching the watch list drove by slowly and I pulled out behind it and called it in, the sergeant called back to be careful as the informant said the van had a machine gun (Uzi) under the drivers seat. Well, I only had a six shot revolver with two reloads so it was a bit tense when the van stopped for me. Turned out there was no machine gun, but the driver was sitting on a loaded .38 snub nose revolver. That's tense.
So many to list but the most stressful was when we were told that our newborn son was dying. I had a great pregnancy and the labour and delivery was great. 12 hours later as I tried to nurse him he seemed to be having problems. They took him the the NICU and started running a lot of tests. Come to find out that his heart was deformed and there was nothing they could do about it. He was sent to Sick Kids Hospital and I was released from the hospital he was born in. My parents and my husband would not listen to me and I was too upset to yell. I went into shock mode. They took me home instead of to the hospital and then they all went to Sick Kids. They did come and get me after they were told that he only had a little time to live. However, they then forced me to leave after spending some time holding him. They thought it would be hard on my physically. After he died my in laws came to our house and stayed. My MIL decided that we should have a minister and a funeral even though I had said I didn't want him near me. The minister came to the house and I stayed in my daughters room and played with my 2 daughters. I wouldn't come out. Every thing I said was discounted and dismissed. My MIL was mad because I was rude to this man that came to my house. I didn't care. The day after the funeral was Mothers Day. My MIL took me out for a short walk and told me that I was never to cause her son to have a problem with this and that I should just carry on as if nothing had happened. Then I was told that she was divorcing her dh because of the death of my son. My fil told me that I had cause my son't death and that was the cause of all the problems. That whole time period was so screwed up.
tigercat
tigercat
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