what has been the most stressful day of your life

[bellebud]

So many to list but the most stressful was when we were told that our newborn son was dying. I had a great pregnancy and the labour and delivery was great. 12 hours later as I tried to nurse him he seemed to be having problems. They took him the the NICU and started running a lot of tests. Come to find out that his heart was deformed and there was nothing they could do about it. He was sent to Sick Kids Hospital and I was released from the hospital he was born in. My parents and my husband would not listen to me and I was too upset to yell. I went into shock mode. They took me home instead of to the hospital and then they all went to Sick Kids. They did come and get me after they were told that he only had a little time to live. However, they then forced me to leave after spending some time holding him. They thought it would be hard on my physically. After he died my in laws came to our house and stayed. My MIL decided that we should have a minister and a funeral even though I had said I didn't want him near me. The minister came to the house and I stayed in my daughters room and played with my 2 daughters. I wouldn't come out. Every thing I said was discounted and dismissed. My MIL was mad because I was rude to this man that came to my house. I didn't care. The day after the funeral was Mothers Day. My MIL took me out for a short walk and told me that I was never to cause her son to have a problem with this and that I should just carry on as if nothing had happened. Then I was told that she was divorcing her dh because of the death of my son. My fil told me that I had cause my son't death and that was the cause of all the problems. That whole time period was so screwed up.
tigercat

I'm so extremely sorry about all of this. I cannot believe how you were treated, that's so horrible. Did your inlaws divorce?

 

[Peepster]

Mom died of prednisone poisoning one day and Dad died of terminal cancer less than 24 hours later. The stress came from discovering my spouse chose not to be at my side.

 

[macraven]

Tiger cat

Many for you

I know you probably had tears just thinking and writing of the sorrow you had to go though alone

You have suffered a lot but your dis family here cares about you

 

[dish rag]

Some of these are very sad and hard to read. The pain comes right through. It's too bad these things have to happen. I'm sorry that anyone would have to go through these things. I've had my things but nothing yet like some of these.

 

[wilkeliza]

So many to list but the most stressful was when we were told that our newborn son was dying. I had a great pregnancy and the labour and delivery was great. 12 hours later as I tried to nurse him he seemed to be having problems. They took him the the NICU and started running a lot of tests. Come to find out that his heart was deformed and there was nothing they could do about it. He was sent to Sick Kids Hospital and I was released from the hospital he was born in. My parents and my husband would not listen to me and I was too upset to yell. I went into shock mode. They took me home instead of to the hospital and then they all went to Sick Kids. They did come and get me after they were told that he only had a little time to live. However, they then forced me to leave after spending some time holding him. They thought it would be hard on my physically. After he died my in laws came to our house and stayed. My MIL decided that we should have a minister and a funeral even though I had said I didn't want him near me. The minister came to the house and I stayed in my daughters room and played with my 2 daughters. I wouldn't come out. Every thing I said was discounted and dismissed. My MIL was mad because I was rude to this man that came to my house. I didn't care. The day after the funeral was Mothers Day. My MIL took me out for a short walk and told me that I was never to cause her son to have a problem with this and that I should just carry on as if nothing had happened. Then I was told that she was divorcing her dh because of the death of my son. My fil told me that I had cause my son't death and that was the cause of all the problems. That whole time period was so screwed up.
tigercat

That os just awful. How can two people be so cruel?!

 

[tigercat]

Yes they did divorce and then both married someone else. My FIL I stopped seeing as he ended up being really horrible to me. My MIL is still alive and now a widow. I rarely see her either. I have a cordial relationship with her and I have never stopped my husband from going to see her. The kids stopped going after a couple of years especially to my FIL's place. Too bad. It was and is the worse time in my life and something I have had a hard time getting over. That was 38 yrs. ago in May. I have talked to others and have tried to let them know to do what is best for them and not what others tell them is best. My Mum did tell me she was sorry for how everyone treated me but that was after my brother died. He was in his 30's but I think she realized that losing a child is not something you get over with in 6 weeks.
I feel for everyone here with the stories that are being told. Sometimes it is nice to say things to someone/people that are hopefully not going to tell you what to do and how you should feel. I tell people that whatever you are feeling is just right for you. It doesn't have to be right for someone else to be right for you.
And I never tell someone that the loss of a child goes away. It stays with you, you just deal with it and the black hole in your stomach does get less and less. Never gone but not the same.

Thanks for listening to me.
tigercat

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

When my now dd17 was 14 months old, and went into a seizure when I was alone with her. We had no idea she had a seizure disorder at the time. The ambulance got lost on the way to my house, with 911 asking me directions. It took them 20 minutes to get to my house, spent 20 minutes at the house trying to stabilize her, and 20 minutes to get to the hospital. She was in the seizure the whole hour (1 hour, 2 minutes to be exact).

I literally thought she had died in my arms before the ambulance got there. She was grey, her lips were blue, she was breathing so shallowly I couldn't tell she was breathing, and she passed gas (so I thought her bowels let go). I was picturing little pink coffins in my mind, standing on my front porch with her limp in my arms, waiting for help.

Then they did a spinal tap at the ER, and she SCREAMED. The nurse consoled me by saying screaming was a good thing, the ones who don't scream are the ones they worry about. They had given her valium or something, and she was like a vegetable. We asked if she would wake up, and they said they didn't know and they didn't know about brain damage.

They shipped us to a children's hospital. She woke up, we spent 5 days in the childrens hospital with her being tested. That was all stressful, but just as stressful were the next 4 or 5 years. Every time she got sick, she'd spike a fever and go into a seizure (status seizures for her each time, the shortest one being 15 minutes long). We never knew when she was going to need to be rushed to the ER. We never had a sip of a drink for all those years at parties, etc, just never knowing. It was such a horrible time. It was hard to take my eyes off of her. High alert 24/7 for years. She hasn't had a seizure since about 4yo, but has had 106 fevers many, many times.

I have PTSD now, but Lexapro helps a whole lot (plus xanax for me when she gets sick, which with her being older is less frequently, thank goodness). She used to catch every cold and virus, and get fevers if the wind blew too hard, lol.

She has memory issues from the first seizure and lack of oxygen, and she has spikes in her sleep (a seizure thing going on in her brain), which also affect memory. So she has a hard time with retaining information, which isn't good for school, college, etc. We have a way to go with her, but I don't care, she's here and that's all that matters.

My daughter had a status seizure at 16 months old that lasted hours and had to be medically stopped. Thankfully she only had the one (knock on wood) and is 13 now but other than that your story sounds just like ours. My heart goes out to you because I know exactly how scary it is. Wishing the best for your daughter.