~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~ 2007 ~~~~~~~ We decide to “Wing It” ~~~~~~~


It’s January 2007, and I’m lying on a very stiff king-sized bed in my hotel room in Colorado Springs wishing I were dead. Ok, maybe not dead, but I was certainly sick enough with the flu to wish that I was at least unconscious or in a supervised coma.

It’s a balmy –4 degrees outside with at least hip-high snow and a 30 mile per hour gale. Sunny Florida it ain’t.

Let’s face it, guys are just plain worthless when they’re sick. I recognize this “issue” with my species. We’re really just overweight wimps with a gruff façade and a receding hairline. My wife could have the flu & be missing an appendage but still find time to cook dinner, shovel the snow, and fold my underwear while putting it in the correct drawer. When I’m sick, I basically turn into a human blob of suffering that you’d think was the Bubonic plague!

So there I lay, away from home, with a fever, runny nose, body aches, and a sore throat. I have to get up off the bed and get down to the convention that I’m in town for. I have 12 employees downstairs who are in our trade show booth wondering if I think I’m too good for them simply because I didn’t help them set up the display. Truth is, I’m having trouble standing upright and the thought of working the booth for the next 6 hours is horrifying. How am going to make it?

I close my eyes for just a couple more minutes. I need to go to my “Happy Place”. Before presentations or encounters with big accounts or standing before a judge, I need to visit my "Happy Place" ever so briefly just to ease the pain and calm me down…

There I am, walking along Epcot's World Showcase pathway between Germany and Italy, sipping on a cup of Lowenbrau beer, and looking out over the blue waters of the lagoon. My family is with me and it’s just prior to noon on a beautiful, sunny fall morning. We may be heading towards England where we’ll enjoy some fish & chips or better yet, over to Canada to watch my favorite show, Off Kilter. It really doesn’t matter, I’m in my favorite place in the world with my favorite people in the world. It’s my Happy Place.

My eyes shoot open. I sit up and put on my polished loafers, check myself in the mirror & adjust my name badge, then head downstairs. Somewhere between the hotel room door shutting behind me and the elevator I decide, “Screw it, I need a vacation”.

The next 6 hours is handshaking and deal making. In between customers & violent coughing fits, I’m planning the trip. Sometimes, during conversation, I’m planning the trip. I’m sick & delirious from fever so oblivious to any comments made about my inattention or running nose.

Let’s see… I’m on the road and out of town until March 8th. That means the soonest we can leave is probably March 10th. Seven nights in (hopefully) sunny Florida is just what the doctor ordered. We’ll return on March 17th.

I used all my DVC points from last year and already have this year’s booked for October so I’m going to have to PAY for a room! Uff da! That’s going to be expensive. I’ll look for a 2-bedroom off-site.

I already have Annual Passes so no park tickets are required. Also, I have 200,000 frequent flier miles left so no plane tickets need to be purchased. Hotel, food, & rental car. That’s it! How expensive can that be?!?!?

I’m feeling better already. That same night after nodding numbly for hours at customer’s tales I’ve heard countless times before & still sick as a dog, I call the wife to tell her the news:

Me: “Hey honey, I decided we need to go Disney World in March for a vacation.”

Wife: “Huh?”

Me: “A vacation. We need a quick vacation. I’m going nuts!”

Wife: “Uhhh…”

Me: “Uhhh What? Come on!”

Wife: “I guess.”


Unbridled enthusiasm it wasn’t. I then started reminding her all about the fun we have (we’ve been home less than 3 months from our last trip… you’d think she’d remember!). Finally I sense her coming around and then a little excitement. Finally! Women… Sheesh!

She’s a stay-at-home mom so there’s not a lot of preparation for her to do other than go to the bank for cash then water the plants prior to going. Not too tough! I’ll do the rest.

The Details! Oh crap! Do I have time for all the little details? Probably not. I’m really gone every single week until we leave. How am I going to find the time to plan this trip out to the “Nth” degree?

Answer: I won’t! We’re going to “Wing-It”!!! Uncharacteristically of me, we are NOT going to plan every single moment and we are NOT going to go Commando on this trip. If we want to sleep in, we will. If we don’t want to go to a theme park, we won’t. We’ll eat all counter service restaurants but maybe make ONE advanced dining reservation at the Garden Grill so the kids can get their Character “fix” out of the way.

Most important of all, we won’t bore you fine people with the excruciating minutiae we all call “pre-planning”.

That’s it! No planning. What could possibly go wrong?


Cast

Me – MDF - Buzz – 40 year old dancing banana fan Obsessive / Compulsive to a fault. Not planning this trip better could quite possibly kill me. Aka: “The Man” but I really prefer “Buzzila the Hun”

DW - Linnie the Pooh - 39 year old fan of “laughing at Buzz”. I’ve never quite understood what she’s always found so amusing about me. It’s annoying nonetheless. She will be “helping” me with this trip report. Posting her own perceived notion of events. Aka: “Lin” or ”Linnie the Pooh-head”.

DS – Trey - 7 year old goofy little nut-job. New meds = new kid. He seems so much happier on his new medication. When I told him we’re going back to WDW he said, “No, want to stay home with friends and play”. Great! He don’t even wanna go! Aka: “Moan Boy” or “Little Hun”.

DD – LeeAndra - 5 year old pretentious little girl with the characteristics of a 17 year old cheerleader. Not positive what happened with this one but I’m pretty sure the lack of a “Y” chromosome had a lot to do with it! Aka: “Loud Girl”.

 

[mumom95]

Great so far. You are really funny!! Can't wait for more...

 

[blue_river]

YAHOOTY


Buzz and Linnie are back with more laughs!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to hear all about it

 

[Luv2trav]

Yeah! I loved your last report... Can't wait to read this one.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

Great start, I can't wait for more.

I didn't read your last report, can you (or someone) post a link so I can read that while I wait for this trip to commence?

I found it, will be reading it this weekend

 

[DJR]

There I am, walking along Epcot's World Showcase pathway between Germany and Italy, sipping on a cup of Lowenbrau beer, and looking out over the blue waters of the lagoon.

Blue water??? Must be another lagoon

The next 6 hours is handshaking and deal making. In between customers & violent coughing fits, I’m planning the trip. Sometimes, during conversation, I’m planning the trip. I’m sick & delirious from fever so oblivious to any comments made about my inattention or running nose.

Patient zero for the next flu outbreak in Colorado!

As a male myself, looking forward to a man's perspective for a change, except for ZZub, who has his own peculiar take on DW.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Blue water??? Must be another lagoon

I was thinking the same thing when I read his post. Huh? blue water? That is the swampiest looking water I've ever seen!

MDF is color blind. He can't tell blues and greens apart so I think that nasty green water looks beautifully bright blue to him!

 

[blue_river]

Let’s face it, guys are just plain worthless when they’re sick. I recognize this “issue” with my species. We’re really just overweight wimps with a gruff façade and a receding hairline. My wife could have the flu & be missing an appendage but still find time to cook dinner, shovel the snow, and fold my underwear while putting it in the correct drawer. When I’m sick, I basically turn into a human blob of suffering that you’d think was the Bubonic plague!

Ain't that the truth!!!

Unbridled enthusiasm it wasn’t. I then started reminding her all about the fun we have (we’ve been home less than 3 months from our last trip… you’d think she’d remember!). Finally I sense her coming around and then a little excitement. Finally! Women… Sheesh!

Sheesh is right! What's wrong with you Linnie?? This is Disney World we're talking about here

Buzz - if you ever need someone to tag along - call this family (only if it's your treat )

Most important of all, we won’t bore you fine people with the excruciating minutiae we all call “pre-planning”.

Hrm...pre-planning doesn't bore a real DIS fan

That’s it! No planning. What could possibly go wrong?

This is where the fun begins


Have a great trip you guys!

 

[NewJersey]

Have a great trip!!

Love the pre report.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Patient zero for the next flu outbreak in Colorado!

I was waiting for someone to give me grief about that. This is a very funny statement though.

Blue water??? Must be another lagoon

Huh? blue water? That is the swampiest looking water I've ever seen!

Hey! It's my "Happy Place" so if I want the water blue, it's blue!

Hrm...pre-planning doesn't bore a real DIS fan

It's only sour grapes since I didn't have very much time to plan. Due to my spur-of-the-moment preparation, I've booked us a nice "Lean-To" against the backside of a Wal-Mart for our accommodations. The good news is it's only $275 / night!

From a scale of 1 -10, I believe the crowd level is supposed to be around 37 while we're down there (Spring Break). I had to call and make Priority Seating arrangements for that Taco Stand across from Pirates of the Caribbean.

We are taking just ONE bag down. Can you believe that!?!? We just finished packing. It only weighs 49 lbs so we shouldn't have to pay the airlines the penalty for overweight.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Sheesh is right! What's wrong with you Linnie?? This is Disney World we're talking about here

I think I was just confused. He always says we should do a spring vacation, but we never do. I didn't think he was serious!!

I'm very excited to go. I can't wait!! Our bag is packed and weighs 49 pounds!! The kids are excited too-they didn't want to go at first, but now they do!

We're just winging it on this trip-as Buzz said, what could possibly go wrong?? Well, a lot. I'm a little nervous as this is very out of character for Buzz. I'm a little concerned for his sanity. He is not a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type guy. Come to think of it, none of us are. This could be real uh, interesting.

At least this time he doesn't want to figure out a way to have the bagel dogs waiting for us in Orlando!

And away we go!

 

[DisneyNutMary]

MDF, I read you Oct 06 trip report today. Now I can't wait for this trip.
I like your TR writing style, you are so real. I'm surprised you didn't get totally flamed for some things in your TR.
You have guts, man, and I like that.

Have a great trip.

 

[OhMari]

I think I was just confused. He always says we should do a spring vacation, but we never do. I didn't think he was serious!!

I'm very excited to go. I can't wait!! Our bag is packed and weighs 49 pounds!! The kids are excited too-they didn't want to go at first, but now they do!

We're just winging it on this trip-as Buzz said, what could possibly go wrong?? Well, a lot. I'm a little nervous as this is very out of character for Buzz. I'm a little concerned for his sanity. He is not a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type guy. Come to think of it, none of us are. This could be real uh, interesting.

At least this time he doesn't want to figure out a way to have the bagel dogs waiting for us in Orlando!

And away we go!

I wish my dh would get sick and decides he hates winter and surprise me with a trip. But oh, no, I got a 44 ft trailer in my driveway today. He is so proud.

Glad to see another report started, Is he's kidding about the Walmart leanto, actually, "Celebration" is in Walmart's back yard, is that why the leanto is so expensive?

 

[serendipity]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! You're back! And here I was thinking I wouldn't get to here another for months yet. Just don't go eating any bagel dogs okay?

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

We're just getting ready to head to he airport. I'm not sure if the "Lean-To" we're staying at has internet but it should. I'll post the next installment "Live" from the World. Wish us luck!

 

[50 years Too!]

Good Luck.
Hope you can report live!

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

Yup, I'm jumpin' onboard early!

I can't wait to read all about the Adventures of MDF, Linny the Pooh, Moan Boy and Loud Girl!

And just "wingin'" it this time?? Ohhhh, this is going to be fabulous!

Have a great trip!

 

[blue_river]

It's only sour grapes since I didn't have very much time to plan. Due to my spur-of-the-moment preparation, I've booked us a nice "Lean-To" against the backside of a Wal-Mart for our accommodations. The good news is it's only $275 / night!

We are taking just ONE bag down. Can you believe that!?!? We just finished packing. It only weighs 49 lbs so we shouldn't have to pay the airlines the penalty for overweight.

A "Lean-To" that only costs $275 a night? Hrm...I seem to remember you complaining about that offsite place you stayed at on your last trip - it was mansion compared to ASMo

ONE bag? After seeing the pictures of your closet Linnie, I do find that hard to believe. I'm guessing you were bullied into that one - poor girl

I think I was just confused. He always says we should do a spring vacation, but we never do. I didn't think he was serious!!

I'm very excited to go. I can't wait!! Our bag is packed and weighs 49 pounds!! The kids are excited too-they didn't want to go at first, but now they do!

Yes, it must have been confusion
You're going to have a blast!

We're just winging it on this trip-as Buzz said, what could possibly go wrong?? Well, a lot. I'm a little nervous as this is very out of character for Buzz. I'm a little concerned for his sanity. He is not a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants type guy. Come to think of it, none of us are. This could be real uh, interesting.

Don't be nervous....let it go.....embrace it

 

[blue_river]

We're just getting ready to head to he airport. I'm not sure if the "Lean-To" we're staying at has internet but it should. I'll post the next installment "Live" from the World. Wish us luck!

So you changed your mind already?

I'll be sure to check back later this evening then!

OH and Good Luck

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~ 2007 ~~~~~~~ Buzzila the Hun ~~~~~~~

Nature demands that I attack projects with a vengeance. I am “man” after all. As all things in my life, vacations need to be attacked and conquered for me to feel any sort of satisfaction. This is how I relax.

I know, I know… it’s an issue.

Unfortunately, without proper preparation, how does one conquer anything? Sheer determination and will power help, but nothing can beat hours or days of excruciating preparation and pre-planning.

Is it at all possible for me to enjoy something without actually trying to conquer it? We just may find out.

Instead of leading my men on full-scale, well thought out invasions, I may have to settle for small skirmishes and mini-victories. We will become a Walt Disney World Guerilla Force, content on finding small holes in the system and exploiting them to our advantage. Without proper planning, it is the best that I can hope for.

My men are well trained; the most senior of my fighting force having been to WDW 8 times before. The other two have a combined 10 visits. Hopefully our experience will help us overcome our lack of preparation.

One of the problems with this mission is finding out it’s one of the busiest times of year for WDW. We always go every October and the crowd levels are around a 5 (out of 10). Doing a little research, I find that the expected crowd levels are 8 and 9 for the time we are down there in March. Spring break for a lot of schools apparently (for the record, I’m against all extended school breaks).

Lack of preparation coupled with extreme crowd conditions could equate to mission failure.

It will be my job to keep the enthusiasm and attitude at a maximum level. My experienced team of guerilla warriors will have to adapt and overcome odds. I believe it can be done. The goal: Fun. Nothing short of having fun will be acceptable.

All we need is a War Cry & a Battle Flag. Both will be a tough sell to my second in command, but I shall demand it.

She can’t stop me from having a War Cry. I will holler my War Cry at the rope drop, leading my men into battle. Since they’re both young and impressionable, I may just be able to get the little commandos to join in my morning ritual.

Yes, a War Cry is necessary. Why? My War Cry will be used to motivate my warriors, terrify those around me (along with my wife) and instill a sense of esprit de corps in the unit.

However, getting her to hang our Battle Flag on the stroller every morning upon entering the parks and on the antenna of the rental car at the end of the day could prove to be difficult. I shall have to use my ultimate authority as the Force Commander to get her to submit. Once again, I shall demand it.

What do you guys think? Will Pooh-head buy it?

My “A” Team receives a briefing from one of Big Cheese’s lieutenants. October 2006.