Question.... kids on the ship while you're in port?

[cmph]

Sheesh. No one on this thread is dumping their kids in the kids clubs for the entirety of every day of the cruise.

 

[cruiser21]

But...DCL excursions can still miss the ship. If the port says get out. They get out. As a parent, I just could not forgive myself if I missed the ship and my kid was on it without me, so I won't ever do it.

I would be comfortable if I was on a DCL excursion. I guess comfort level would also depend on the age of the kids.
My kids 12 and 15 would function just fine on a ship without me. They have food, a place to sleep, video games. They would probably get a lot of attention from the crew and officers. DCL would make sure I got to the next port. They would make sure my kids were ok, but I doubt it would even faze them. They are pretty independent. It definitely would be a funny vacation story to tell for years to come.

 

[ashley0139]

Dear parents.....if you wanted alone time, me time, couple time, free time, etc; you should have thought about that BEFORE having children.

This is the most ridiculous post I have EVER read on these boards. In my 8 years on here. And that is saying something.

 

[Amandine]

For the simple reason that I like my freedom, independence and alone time, I am neither married nor have kids. Even if I wanted kids my health would not allow it. I grew up in a very loving family spending time and vacations with parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, family friends and their kids. Not once were any of us left in the care of strangers so mommy and daddy could have alone time or me time.

I grew up in a very loving family, as well, and my 14 year old son routinely teases that family is like a second religion to me. (He's not wrong.) My parents didn't "leave us in the care of strangers so mommy and daddy could have alone time," but they did ALLOW us to do our own thing separately from them sometimes. There's an enormous difference that may not be evident from the outside. I thrived on getting to grow up with lots of rich family experiences PLUS chances to do things separately from my parents, like clubs after school, church youth group, Girl Scouts, etc, and my kids thrive on getting to do things like that as they get older. It's part of growing up -- the toddler mostly wants to be where his parents or grandparents are, but the teenager *wants* to do his own thing sometimes.

 

[gotomu212]

Just because I don't personally have kids or a spouse doesn't mean I have no knowledge of them. But you believe what you want.

Yet more proof of the idea that kids are accessories to the parents' life.

As my grandma always said "don't take swimming lessons from someone who has never been in the water".

 

[FigmentSpark]

We did a morning excursion as a family, then went back to the ship for lunch. After lunch, my two boys, 14 and 12, went off to the Vibe and Edge respectively. They were done with Tortola. DH and I decided to pop out and take a look at the shops, which are practically right outside the door (albeit a customs check in between). We shopped (too much, but that's another thread) and hung out for an hour or so, then came back on the ship. Later that night, we were talking with the youth club manager CM about some bullying on the stairs to the Edge that my son had encountered (he had on a Lab band and they were calling him a baby and saying he was too young for Edge). Anyway, the CM said they tried to call us, but found out we were off the ship. The way she said it made it sound like we were horrible parents for leaving our 12 year old for an hour. We glossed by the insinuation to continue the point and resolve the bullying (he took off the Lab band), but it's nagged at me since.

Did I do something wrong? I was technically in another country from my children (well, pre-teen and teen), even though I was just steps away. As my son had been having a great time at the Edge and continued to do so, even after that event, I'm hoping it was okay. I don't want to be irresponsible, but I don't want to be a helicopter parent that has to be on call for an event that may never happen. They aren't little anymore.

 

[wilkeliza]

We did a morning excursion as a family, then went back to the ship for lunch. After lunch, my two boys, 14 and 12, went off to the Vibe and Edge respectively. They were done with Tortola. DH and I decided to pop out and take a look at the shops, which are practically right outside the door (albeit a customs check in between). We shopped (too much, but that's another thread) and hung out for an hour or so, then came back on the ship. Later that night, we were talking with the youth club manager CM about some bullying on the stairs to the Edge that my son had encountered (he had on a Lab band and they were calling him a baby and saying he was too young for Edge). Anyway, the CM said they tried to call us, but found out we were off the ship. The way she said it made it sound like we were horrible parents for leaving our 12 year old for an hour. We glossed by the insinuation to continue the point and resolve the bullying (he took off the Lab band), but it's nagged at me since.

Did I do something wrong? I was technically in another country from my children (well, pre-teen and teen), even though I was just steps away. As my son had been having a great time at the Edge and continued to do so, even after that event, I'm hoping it was okay. I don't want to be irresponsible, but I don't want to be a helicopter parent that has to be on call for an event that may never happen. They aren't little anymore.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. He is 12 and I'm sure spends 7 or more hours a day away from you on a normal day anyways. The Edge CM is who was in the wrong for making you feel awful. Yes bullying is serious but it wasn't like it was a medical emergency.

 

[Miggee]

My parents and I left the boat in port of Jamiaca and the kids were in the club, they are 9, 6, and 5 yrs old, we walked around the port for about 1 1/2 hours and felt really comfortable doing so, that says a lot since i'm a super paranoid mom but DCL made me feel comfortable enough to leave them at the club for a bit (they didnt want to get off the boat). now this is a personal choice and to each's own.

 

[cruiser21]

We did a morning excursion as a family, then went back to the ship for lunch. After lunch, my two boys, 14 and 12, went off to the Vibe and Edge respectively. They were done with Tortola. DH and I decided to pop out and take a look at the shops, which are practically right outside the door (albeit a customs check in between). We shopped (too much, but that's another thread) and hung out for an hour or so, then came back on the ship. Later that night, we were talking with the youth club manager CM about some bullying on the stairs to the Edge that my son had encountered (he had on a Lab band and they were calling him a baby and saying he was too young for Edge). Anyway, the CM said they tried to call us, but found out we were off the ship. The way she said it made it sound like we were horrible parents for leaving our 12 year old for an hour. We glossed by the insinuation to continue the point and resolve the bullying (he took off the Lab band), but it's nagged at me since.

Did I do something wrong? I was technically in another country from my children (well, pre-teen and teen), even though I was just steps away. As my son had been having a great time at the Edge and continued to do so, even after that event, I'm hoping it was okay. I don't want to be irresponsible, but I don't want to be a helicopter parent that has to be on call for an event that may never happen. They aren't little anymore.

Bullying happens on the ship just like it does at school. Adults even do it in the workplace. Even happens on the disboards. Kids have to learn the skills to deal with it. I don't even know why the cm called you. They should have put an end to it or called the parents of the kid who was doing the bullying. You can't be there every time someone says something mean to your kid. They'll never develop the thick skin needed to cope in this world. You did nothing wrong.

 

[FigmentSpark]

Bullying happens on the ship just like it does at school. Adults even do it in the workplace. Even happens on the disboards. Kids have to learn the skills to deal with it. I don't even know why the cm called you. They should have put an end to it or called the parents of the kid who was doing the bullying. You can't be there every time someone says something mean to your kid. They'll never develop the thick skin needed to cope in this world. You did nothing wrong.

That was my thought, too. But it was our first cruise, so I didn't know if there was some rule I'd missed.

 

[MunFam]

I would be comfortable if I was on a DCL excursion. I guess comfort level would also depend on the age of the kids.
My kids 12 and 15 would function just fine on a ship without me. They have food, a place to sleep, video games. They would probably get a lot of attention from the crew and officers. DCL would make sure I got to the next port. They would make sure my kids were ok, but I doubt it would even faze them. They are pretty independent. It definitely would be a funny vacation story to tell for years to come.

I agree with this. Our DD was 4 on our DCL cruise. She is 6 now. Even if she was made Princess of the Cruise and the cast doted on her every second of the day and night until we were reunited, I still think that she would be worried about me being gone which is why I could not do it. BUT, at 15, I would leave my kid home alone for a week while I was on a work trip, so long as people were checking in on her, and I would totally leave her on the ship while we were on an excursion if she did not want to be there. Why waste money on an excursion for her and I know by that age, she would probably love it if we got left behind. Hahaha!

 

[JW9DVC]

Dear parents.....if you wanted alone time, me time, couple time, free time, etc; you should have thought about that BEFORE having children.

Hahaha. I know that's a joke. How do you think all the "souvenirs" are made in the first place. It's called mom and dad verandah club while the kids are in kids club.

Parents should have the free time. But thanks for playing.

 

[cruiser21]

I agree with this. Our DD was 4 on our DCL cruise. She is 6 now. Even if she was made Princess of the Cruise and the cast doted on her every second of the day and night until we were reunited, I still think that she would be worried about me being gone which is why I could not do it. BUT, at 15, I would leave my kid home alone for a week while I was on a work trip, so long as people were checking in on her, and I would totally leave her on the ship while we were on an excursion if she did not want to be there. Why waste money on an excursion for her and I know by that age, she would probably love it if we go

I can see where it would be scary leaving a 6 year old. 90% of the time the kids go with us. I would never let them stay on the ship in Europe. I like to torture them and make them learn something. They usually enjoy it. They loved Iceland, England, Scotland, Norway, and Hawaii. The Med not so much. My son's excited about our Alaska excursions. If it's a Caribbean port that we've been to before they will usually opt to stay on the ship.

 

[hrhdhd]

Did I do something wrong? I was technically in another country from my children (well, pre-teen and teen), even though I was just steps away. As my son had been having a great time at the Edge and continued to do so, even after that event, I'm hoping it was okay. I don't want to be irresponsible, but I don't want to be a helicopter parent that has to be on call for an event that may never happen. They aren't little anymore.

When the ship's in Tortola's waters, the ship is in Tortola. You were all in the same country. And you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[JSMT]

On our last cruise, we left our 1 year old in the nursery while we took our older children on an excursion that was perfect for them (and didn't allow infants). Had no problems. Was not concerned about it. Nursery staff had no concerns. Excursion was through DCL.

 

[SteveMP]

If your not responsible enough to make it back it the ship on time then you probably should not do it.

Right...because everyone that has had or been in an accident is irresponsible. Smh...

 

[FigmentSpark]

When the ship's in Tortola's waters, the ship is in Tortola. You were all in the same country. And you didn't do anything wrong.

Good point... just on the opposite side of customs, I guess.

Also, we didn't sign for them to leave the ship on their own, except for on Castaway Cay (which didn't happen anyway), so I knew they weren't going to be able to sneak off by themselves.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I don't think some of you are treating disney_traveler fairly. I didn't see her posts as judgmental until some of you started to jump on her. At that point she needed to defend her position. Her opinion differs from yours and that is OK. Her opinion. Take it or leave it but don't pile on her. I don't see her as a troll.

I will say that my husband and myself have been HAPPILY married for 42 years now and not once felt the need to have alone time on a family vacation. When we decided to have kids they became our number one. Our marriage survived. I am not judging just stating what worked for us.

OP, only you know your children and know what you personally are comfortable with. Do what you feel is right in your heart. It's great that people have given you different things to think about, both the pros and cons.

 

[cruiser21]

Right...because everyone that has had or been in an accident is irresponsible. Smh...

I think if I was in an accident I'd be happy my kids were safe on the ship, and not hurt. There's lot's of ways to look at this.

 

[SteveMP]

I think if I was in an accident I'd be happy my kids were safe on the ship, and not hurt. There's lot's of ways to look at this.

Fair enough. Everyone has to make their own decisions. I was just saying that getting in an accident doesn't make you irresponsible. I've watched enough youtube videos to confirm

Getting back to the actual OP I think in our kids' case I would say about 8, where I could explain what our plans were and reasonably believe they would understand. Tell them "we should be back around x time, but if its longer just hang tight and play some games etc."