Newlyweds Chastise Wedding Guest Because Gift Wasn't Sufficient

[dhardawa]

I had a friend who was getting married. Both she and her husband to be had complete households and had been married before. She threw herself a bridal shower and the theme was "Gas and Geoceey Gift Cards". Lovely. That's not a theme. Hawaiian night is a theme. I skipped the bridal shower because it was a money grab. Then, in the wedding invitation, there was a little card stating that they had everything they needed in life, so they were asking for cash or gas and grocery gift cards. Tacky.

 

[kimblebee]

When we got married a little over a year ago we clearly stated no gifts on the invitation. We were both almost 40 and had an established household already. A few people did give us chequer, a few gave movie gift cards, and one gave a gift and to ikea. All were appreciated but not expected.

 

[barkley]

I work with a woman who included links to her gift registrie(s) with the wedding invitation. One was relatively inexpensive items (towels, toaster, placemats) and one had the big ticket items (Cuisinart food processor, set of Samsonite luggage, Egyptian cotton sheets) She invited nearly everyone in the company (probably about 100 people) but which gift list you received depended entirely on your salary level. Her reasoning was that people who made more money should be expected to give her a more expensive gift. Most people didn't realize until after the wedding that there were two registries.

not a wedding invite but I once received a baby shower invite that included a printed copy of the gift registry-WITH AN ITEM HIGHLIGHTED ON IT AND A NOTATION NEXT TO IT THAT READ "your will bring as a gift".

um yeah-didn't go to that shower.


on a similar note-went to a wedding where rather than (what I'm used to) the guest book at the entry with a greeter (to have you sign book/take gift if you've brought it to actual wedding) there was a large table with 3 'greeters'-1 to take a gift, 1 to have you sign the guest book-with one in between to ask for your 'assistance to the bride and groom': there were two money type trees-one had a sign that read 'please help us pay for our honeymoon' with photos/prices for the place they were going and room/activities/restaurants, the other with 'please help us furnish our new home' with photos/prices for the high end items on their gift registry (which had to have been put together that morning b/c we traveled from out of state and had to go shopping at the registry store the night before so I absolutely knew which items hadn't been purchased as of closing the night before).

 

[Minniesgal]

I'd certainly send an adjustment I'd cancel the cheque....

 

[Aliceacc]

I think the guest needs to allow the names of the couple to "slip" and let the media to handle the rest. I'd ignore the email and forget these people ever existed.

Absolutely.

If you're so sure you're in the right, then I'm sure you won't mind when the rest of the world knows who you are... so they can back you up.

Or not.

An invitation is not a summons. You are not required to give any particular amount. In fact, you're not required to give anything at all.

If you want the wedding of your dreams, then work hard and pay for it... you know, like grown ups do when they want something. Don't expect your family and friends to do it for you.

 

[BusMan]

I often think what my grandparents would say if they came back to our world today and saw what we have become as a society.
This one would make them flip a bit.

Everyone, for all time, has felt this way. Maybe they'd be shocked that we're progressing in many ways. Maybe not. But this line of thinking is just SO TIRED.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

Everyone, for all time, has felt this way. Maybe they'd be shocked that we're progressing in many ways. Maybe not. But this line of thinking is just SO TIRED.

I agree. I am amazed by the generation that's coming up - they are wonderful kids and they're going to improve society in ways we can't even imagine.

However, I still think their weddings are ridiculous - lol.

 

[BusMan]

1000% agree.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

I bet mom and dad are really proud of these two.

When my wife and I got married, some our guests were told by us to just show up. No gift of any kind. They were hurting for money and we just wanted them to have a nice meal, good time, and spend it with old friends and family.

 

[ronandannette]

I believe the link said the check had already been cashed. The e-mail was sent several weeks after the wedding.

Maybe that's the new "entitled snowflake's" version of a Thank You card? At least the guests won't have to stew because their gift wasn't acknowledged!!

 

[powellrj]

LOL, these stories are rich. According to my grandparents, when they got married they "registered," ie spread the word through the family, that they wanted these coupons that came with a certain brand of butter, the coupons could be exchanged for some very nice silverware. They received so many that they have a complete set today and every time I look at them I think of people coming with all those unused butter coupons! Other relatives did similar things by asking for the premiums that used to be included in certain items at the grocery store, apparently they received a large if not exactly complete set of dishes that way (you couldn't tell which dish would be in the box until you bought it). When I got married I WISHED that was still an option, but no such luck. If I were asked to a wedding took a similar attitude to my grandparents, you can be sure they'd get all they'd asked for and probably a big check as well, it's the couples that demand so much that everyone resents.

I remember these! Duz was what you got the dishes in and Breeze was the one you got the towels in. I always wanted my mom to buy Breeze and Duz, but she always said they were too expensive. You also use to get glasses when you emptied your jelly and peanut butter jars and your spreadable cheese jars. I'm not sure if they still carry those because I have never looked. I will have to look and see.

 

[ronandannette]

I remember these! Duz was what you got the dishes in and Breeze was the one you got the towels in. I always wanted my mom to buy Breeze and Duz, but she always said they were too expensive. You also use to get glasses when you emptied your jelly and peanut butter jars and your spreadable cheese jars. I'm not sure if they still carry those because I have never looked. I will have to look and see.

Good times! Here in Canada during my childhood there was a brand of tea that had small, ceramic animal figurines - kind of a riff on Blue Mountain. Lots of kids gave those to one another as birthday gifts. My parents weren't big tea drinkers and I had to compete with 6 cousins to get them from my DGrandma.

 

[powellrj]

Good times! Here in Canada during my childhood there was a brand of tea that had small, ceramic animal figurines - kind of a riff on Blue Mountain. Lots of kids gave those to one another as birthday gifts. My parents weren't big tea drinkers and I had to compete with 6 cousins to get them from my DGrandma.

We actually have the set of circus animals and the jungle animals from the tea! It was Red Rose. We drank it for years, but they no longer sell it around here!

 

[ronandannette]

We actually have the set of circus animals and the jungle animals from the tea! It was Red Rose. We drank it for years, but they no longer sell it around here!

Thanks for the memories!! My favourite was a little buffalo...I never got anywhere close to having a full set of any of the different series.

 

[kirstenb1]

Good times! Here in Canada during my childhood there was a brand of tea that had small, ceramic animal figurines - kind of a riff on Blue Mountain. Lots of kids gave those to one another as birthday gifts. My parents weren't big tea drinkers and I had to compete with 6 cousins to get them from my DGrandma.

Oh my goodness!! I remember these! My parents are from Ontario, and we would go visit my grandparents in the summer and holidays. I remember these little ceramic animals and my Granny telling me she'd saved them from years ago.

 

[RedAngie]

Maybe that's the new "entitled snowflake's" version of a Thank You card? At least the guests won't have to stew because their gift wasn't acknowledged!!

I went to two weddings in 2015. For one, there was absolutely no acknowledgment of the gift we gave. For the other, there was a mass e-mail thank you. The time stamp of the e-mail indicates it was sent BEFORE the wedding ceremony.

I think I'd rather receive this bride's inadequate gift e-mail rather than what I got for those two weddings. At least I could have some fun sending a reply or making an adjustment.

I remember these! Duz was what you got the dishes in and Breeze was the one you got the towels in. I always wanted my mom to buy Breeze and Duz, but she always said they were too expensive. You also use to get glasses when you emptied your jelly and peanut butter jars and your spreadable cheese jars. I'm not sure if they still carry those because I have never looked. I will have to look and see.

Our drinking glasses were from some brand of sour cream. We had them well into the early 80s.

My parents said movie theaters gave out dishes or glasses on a slow night, like a Monday, to boost attendance. Gas stations also used to give out things with a fill up.

 

[ronandannette]

Our drinking glasses were from some brand of sour cream. We had them well into the early 80s.
My parents said movie theaters gave out dishes or glasses on a slow night, like a Monday, to boost attendance. Gas stations also used to give out things with a fill up.

That still happens here - there are tons of these around from the Vancouver Olympics.

And no festive table at Ronandannette's is complete without these, which were collected from Arby's:

 

[Nancyg56]

A few years ago we attended our neighbors son's wedding. We were told the reason we did not get a thank you was because the happy couple only sent them to folks whose gift "measured" up. Well they have since divorced. I thought our gift was generous, but I guess not.

 

[RedAngie]

A few years ago we attended our neighbors son's wedding. We were told the reason we did not get a thank you was because the happy couple only sent them to folks whose gift "measured" up. Well they have since divorced. I thought our gift was generous, but I guess not.

No doubt your inadequate gift was used by the couple, re-gifted, or returned to a store for a refund/exchange rather than being sent back to you.

 

[Nancyg56]

No doubt your inadequate gift was used by the couple, re-gifted, or returned to a store for a refund/exchange rather than being sent back to you.

We gave money. I stopped buying gifts a long time ago and always give cash so the couple can do whatever they want with it. I figured that they could use the money, but I guess covering our plates and adding enough for a gift was not enough. I should have given them candle sticks!