Rodeo,
My mother just recently passed away and I did something simple that ended up to be monumental to so many people suffering from her loss. I could not have even imagined how much it would mean to others and what it would produce, it was simply about me and trying to honour my mother. I didn't even think of everyone else. I selfishly just wanted my mother everywhere.
My mother loved pictures to the point that we often said "Mom please no more. Please please please with the camera!". Rolling of the eyes, the rude no more stance. Thank God she never listened to us.
Anyway, I saw her Celebration of Life in my eyes surrounded by single pictures in frames and poster size photos of her. Her everywhere. Her family, our family, my parents, her many friends. Prior houses, tons of memories.
Staples did tons and tons of 8X10s and 4x6s. They also did about ten poster size photos, some with hard backing (didn't do all with backing due to cost).
Then I went to Dollarama and bought tons of cheap frames (they do not look remotely cheap when done). It took ages to fill them all but it felt like nothing. And probably helped me stay focused on something else while in pain.
And we put them everywhere like it was a living room. I did so many I thought, "well you've lost it now, it's too much". It wasn't. Can't even explain the impact.
My uncle, her brother, carried around a huge black and white poster board of their family - my grandparents, my mom and siblings as children/teenagers - at a beach outing like it was his savior. It barely had five minutes on display.
Like he was a little boy with a beloved Christmas toy. He had a tough time with Mom as she was his big sister, his everything. He showed his kids, he explained the day of the picture, he saw his grandson in himself as a young teenager and he even took it around to strangers.
No one was safe from his back in the day story! I had already told him it was his to keep. He was overwhelmed to have it to take home, so simple yet an overwhelmingly emotional response from a man who tends to hide his feelings.
I then realized what the heck are we going to do with all of these pictures? I live in 400 square feet. And we quietly told people just to take what they want.
And they did, gladly.
My aunt must have walked out with five pictures in frames. One containing her son, my cousin who has passed.
Another taking Mom and her in front of a childhood home.
It was something to see so many gladly taking memories of her out the door with them.
We even got a request via email from someone who wanted a picture, if it was still there, after the fact. And he wasn't even in the picture or was it during a time when he knew my mom. For whatever reason it meant something to him.
Family could remember, friends could reminisce. And I heard stories that I had never been told. All from the pictures that they would pick up to show you and share.
We had the traditional slide slow as well. But I guess for certain generations the pictures in frames, just opened hearts.
I felt surrounded by my mother and her life on that day. And by my parents' love story.
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I've smiled when you talk about all your intimate plans for your husband's Celebration of Life Rodeo. The dancing, the plans. How you are doing it your way.
Your way, not the should do it this way stance.
Why smile? Because in the worst times that day in my head, and the choices, has been one thing that has brought some peace and respite during some tough times. And it's been a Godsend to have that memory to hold onto when you're feeling such pain.
Think of you every single day. Love sent to your entire family. And with special thoughts to your father, losing beloved loved ones in a short time. That's hard.
to you all.