wedding proposal question

[sam_gordon]

Was any of this (aside from the fact he wants to propose) HIS idea? Unless he said (without prompting from you) that he wanted to propose with you there (regardless of whether it's on a boat or not), then let him do it when/where he wants. Unless he asks for you suggestions, do not offer any.

I proposed in front of Cinderella's castle. My mom, dad, and grandmother were at HS. My mom and dad knew I was going to propose, but GM didn't (neither did DW). The last thing I wanted was them gawking at us. So yes, it was in public, but I didn't make an announcement or anything. It was just a place special to DW.

 

[kashzan]

OMG Please do not be there for the proposal. I would just die if I was asked to marry someone in front of their parent.
Some things are private and special.
Please please do not be there.

 

[Kitty 34]

I still think it soooo weird when my nephew and his now wife proposed on the church steps in front of my brother (his Dad), and all of her family and their friends "hiding" in the bushes. Just weird; so OP I would say no, let them do their thing without you and family around. Just MHO but hey,congrats!!

 

[Hrhpd]

so my 27 year old son wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him while we are at disney in december. I will be on the trip with them. This was the plan: I rented a pontoon boat for the fireworks cruise and he was going to propose to her on the boat on the first night that we are there. So now his friend is telling him that I shouldnt be around when he does it. Problem is I am paying for the fireworks cruise and I want to see the fireworks. I had planned on talking with the captain while he proposed to give them privacy. So what do you think. Should he do it on the boat with me there or do it somewhere else in disney.

Is this your plan or your sons?

I think the only person that should be making this decision is your son. If he wants to do it with you there, then the heck with what a friend says.

If he agrees with his friend, then his wishes should be respected. Although, he should either get his own fireworks cruise or make other alternative plans.

FWIW - I agree with the friend. Having the MIL there is awkward. My son proposed on a family cruise, but they did an intimate dinner together in a specialty restaurant and then went on deck. Bride had the opportunity to contact her parents right away (which was important to her that they knew at the same time we did) and then they came back to our cabin to announce she said yes.

 

[ronandannette]

Is it just you your ds and his GF that will be on this cruise or is it going to be a huge family gathering?
Personally I would not have been happy to have my MIL there when dh proposed, and I loved her she was a great MIL. I just prefer more intimate and personal things like that.
I think you should ask your ds what he wants and respect his wishes. However I think that if you are paying for the cruise he should pick somewhere else to do it on his own dime if he wants it to be just him and his GF.

Oh, so this!! We're old-fashioned and my (future)DH talked to my DDad beforehand but had my parents or his parents been present for the proposal I would have hated it. And not to be a buzz-kill, but I was proposed to by 2 men previous to my DH that I declined. It would have made a painful and awkward experience practically unbearable for everyone involved if their mothers had been there. (Lord, I'm practically hyperventilating just imagining it.)

 

[yoopermom]

Slightly off topic, but I have a GREAT story: we took a hot air balloon ride in ABQ a few years ago, and the pilot recounted the time that a young man rented out the balloon, hired a videographer, and had both sets of parents and his gf as the only (other) ones on the flight. Once they were aloft, the young man dropped to his knees, pulled out a ring, gave a huge speech proclaiming his undying love and asking for her hand in marriage, etc. The girlfriend looked at the videographer in horror, at the pilot, the parents, then the boyfriend, before she took the ring in its box and said "ABSOLUTELY NO NEVER NOT" and FLUNG the ring over the side right in midair!

The pilot said it was a VERY quiet ride back down to the ground.

So I vote for a proposal with only the two of them present.

Terri

 

[bigbabyblues]

Oh boy. I would not want a public proposal, and I wouldn't want a proposal with future MIL right there (although my MIL is wonderful), I wanted a private proposal with just the two of us. However, I would be ticked if I booked a fireworks cruise with the intention of watching the fireworks, and then my son decided that I shouldn't go because he wants to propose at that time. Those pontoon boats aren't very big, they aren't going to have privacy on the fireworks cruise. If your son wants to propose on the cruise (and it was his idea), he should pay for the cruise for the two of them and you watch from somewhere else. If he doesn't want to pay for it, then he should propose at another time when they are alone. He is 27 years old, he should not expect you to foot the bill for the cruise so he can propose.

 

[design_mom]

I agree with most. I think he should propose privately without any other family members (from either side of the family) there unless he's SURE that his fiance-to-be would appreciate an audience. (I wouldn't.) However, if the pontoon cruise was something that you planned for the three of you and you're paying for, I don't think it's fair of him to claim it for his proposal and kick you out! Even if he's willing to foot the bill, I still don't think it would be fair for him to kick you off the cruise that was your idea/you planned. He needs to find a time/place that's his own to do it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

To anybody who thinks that the Fireworks Cruise was a group/family plan, and the son is now trying to take over...
That is not how it was described here....
In the OP's own MIND.....

I will be on the trip with them. This was the plan: I rented a pontoon boat for the fireworks cruise and he was going to propose to her on the boat on the first night that we are there.

There are a lot of 'I's regarding the OP in this so-called plan. That is a problem. I would bet that the son is NOT onboard with his mother being there, involved in this intimate moment... And that he is now just using this 'friend' as a scapegoat.

He should straight up tell his Mom... 'NO'.

OP: Welcome and encourage your son to make his own plans to propose.
There never should have been a group-plan, ever.

If you want to gift them a private Pontoon for the fireworks, special dinner, whatever... Then give cheerfully...
If not, then encourage him to make, and pay for, his own special moment with his future wife.

You should, not, under any circumstances, be there.
I would say 'NO' and jump off the boat and start swimming.

 

[Mika02]

Slightly off topic, but I have a GREAT story: we took a hot air balloon ride in ABQ a few years ago, and the pilot recounted the time that a young man rented out the balloon, hired a videographer, and had both sets of parents and his gf as the only (other) ones on the flight. Once they were aloft, the young man dropped to his knees, pulled out a ring, gave a huge speech proclaiming his undying love and asking for her hand in marriage, etc. The girlfriend looked at the videographer in horror, at the pilot, the parents, then the boyfriend, before she took the ring in its box and said "ABSOLUTELY NO NEVER NOT" and FLUNG the ring over the side right in midair!

The pilot said it was a VERY quiet ride back down to the ground.

So I vote for a proposal with only the two of them present.

Terri

So why I said no boat I can just see a ring flying whether on purpose or by accident.

 

[Jennasis]

The proposal is for him to plan. He knows (theoretically) his girlfriend and how she would feel about a proposal with other people around. DH proposed to me while we were alone together, but I would have been fine with him dropping to one knee in the middle of Main Street USA or sky writing it above or if my entire family would have jumped out from behind a trash can after the proposal. I don't have a problem with things like that.

Your son will have to suss out what his girlfriend would like or can handle. If he wants you to be a part of it in some way, than that's fine. if he wants it to be private that's fine too. If he wants to do it on a fireworks cruise, he can book and pay for one (unless you want to gift it to him and watch the fireworks elsewhere).

 

[Poohforyou]

so my 27 year old son wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him while we are at disney in december. I will be on the trip with them. This was the plan: I rented a pontoon boat for the fireworks cruise and he was going to propose to her on the boat on the first night that we are there. So now his friend is telling him that I shouldnt be around when he does it. Problem is I am paying for the fireworks cruise and I want to see the fireworks. I had planned on talking with the captain while he proposed to give them privacy. So what do you think. Should he do it on the boat with me there or do it somewhere else in disney.

I agree with the friend. If the fireworks are very important to you than your son should probably pick another time to propose.

Personally I'd feel kind of weird being on a trip with my boyfriend and his mother and have him propose.

 

[Mirielle]

so my 27 year old son wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him while we are at disney in december. I will be on the trip with them.

Ummm...any man who would take me to WDW and have his mother along should skip the marriage proposal.

 

[tcufrog]

So why I said no boat I can just see a ring flying whether on purpose or by accident.

I lost expensive prescription sunglasses over the side of a tour boat.

 

[BLAZEY]

Ummm...any man who would take me to WDW and have his mother along should skip the marriage proposal.

According to this thread it VERY common for parent to pay for their adult children to vacation to Disney. Many even take significant others as well! https://www.disboards.com/search/136545792/?q=parents+paying+for+vacations&o=date&c[node]=33

 

[wenrob]

According to this thread it VERY common for parent to pay for their adult children to vacation to Disney. Many even take significant others as well! https://www.disboards.com/search/136545792/?q=parents+paying+for+vacations&o=date&c[node]=33

Eh, what happens on the DIS isn’t as common among the unwashed masses. A family vacation? Sure to an extent. A trip with my boyfriend and his mom? Hell to the no. That would send me running and I wouldn’t look back. This is coming from someone who liked her MIL, a lot. There’s a line between a family vacation and planning a proposal with your mom along. Not just the boat/fireworks thing, proposing on a vacation with your mom. Everyone is different but for me that would present a very clear picture about my future and my place in his life.

 

[Mirielle]

According to this thread it VERY common for parent to pay for their adult children to vacation to Disney. Many even take significant others as well! https://www.disboards.com/search/136545792/?q=parents+paying+for+vacations&o=date&c[node]=33

Of course, and I think that's great in MANY instances.

 

[disneymom3]

I still think it soooo weird when my nephew and his now wife proposed on the church steps in front of my brother (his Dad), and all of her family and their friends "hiding" in the bushes. Just weird; so OP I would say no, let them do their thing without you and family around. Just MHO but hey,congrats!!

Oh I can beat that! My cousin proposed to his now wife in the backyard that his parents had decorated with fairy lights and roses. His parents and her parents and I think all the siblings all hid in the house and videotaped it! Then they came out afterward. No. No never.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Oh, so this!! We're old-fashioned and my (future)DH talked to my DDad beforehand but had my parents or his parents been present for the proposal I would have hated it. And not to be a buzz-kill, but I was proposed to by 2 men previous to my DH that I declined. It would have made a painful and awkward experience practically unbearable for everyone involved if their mothers had been there. (Lord, I'm practically hyperventilating just imagining it.)

Jokes aside, I encourage you to let this be a moment between the two of them. You can give your congrats when you see them the following day.

 

[ronandannette]

View attachment 360609


Jokes aside, I encourage you to let this be a moment between the two of them. You can give your congrats when you see them the following day.

Where did you get the picture of my two jilted suitors?