OT- "Meeting people online" experience needed!

[DWFan4Life]

Caution is always good, keep an open mind. I met my soon to be husband right here on the boards last January. We are getting married on Tuesday.

Wow, this is awesome. I'm happy for the both of you. Congratulations. May you have a happy married life and many children to come. Where will be your wedding? At WDW?

Have a nice day.

 

[Carrieannew]

There is no court involved in the situation. He gets to visit with the kids pretty well whenever he wants as does so as much as he can. Things seem to be going pretty smoothly. I agree with not making the ex mad; I think if things do move forward, I'll let him take the lead. I haven't said one word about the kids other than to ask how his visits with them went; I know that meeting the kids is a sensitive subject and that he has to be the one to bring it up.

The ex of the last guy I was seeing (no kids involved) was crazy, and this was verified by a couple of other people. I should have run far, FAR away from the guy the day he told me that he wouldn't put it past her to come find me and beat me up...



Yup; my guard is still definitely up on this one. It's still way too early in the relationship to be asking about legal and money stuff, but you can bet that if things progress that I will be making enquiries.

I'm not the first relationship after their breakup; they've been separated for awhile. I most certainly do not want to be the rebound girl, so my radar is still up. Thanks for the advice, though; sometimes you fall really fast and need a reality check...



Thanks for the words of caution. I too have seen friends go into really sticky situations knowing that no good will come of it. Sometimes you just have to be there to hold hands and talk when everything comes crashing down. I don't know...I think I read people fairly well and that this guy is truly ready to move on...I guess you'll all have to stay tuned...

I am glad you have your guard up.

No luck so far on Fish for me.. Seriously.. some of these guys...

 

[tawasdave]

I am glad you have your guard up.

No luck so far on Fish for me.. Seriously.. some of these guys...

I warned ya...but do you listen to your Father...noooooooooooooo

 

[sand2270]

I am glad you have your guard up.

No luck so far on Fish for me.. Seriously.. some of these guys...

Trust me...eharmony hasn't been much better. Most are either way older than me or live in Phoenix. Blah.

 

[Carrieannew]

I warned ya...but do you listen to your Father...noooooooooooooo

Trust me...eharmony hasn't been much better. Most are either way older than me or live in Phoenix. Blah.

Thank you Amy

Randy it has nothing to do with the site... or paying or not
There are nasty guys everywhere

For gods sake I got felt up at the darn local bar by an old man a few weeks ago who wouldnt stop touching me.

 

[tawasdave]

For gods sake I got felt up at the darn local bar by an old man a few weeks ago who wouldnt stop touching me.

Hey...old men need love too...

 

[sparty7798]

I met my husband on match.com! Initially, we met for coffee in a public location at the mall and then went from there. I was very cautious at first-we dated for a year and a half and then we got married. We have now been married for almost 4 years.

Before meeting my husband, I did meet some other nice people as well, but no the right one. My advice is to be open and take it slow!

Good Luck!

 

[Goofy4Disney!]

Just going to add my two cents, if I may. I read often, but rarely post lol

I totally think the online stuff can work out. Or not.

I met my husband in February '99 (in a chat room actually). He lived in Indiana and I live in Boston. We knew instantly, even without having met face to face, that there was a strong connection. We chatted until we did the actual "meeting" in April. We decided to meet half way (which was Philadelphia?). His flight was not supposed to get in until after mine. But he was going to try stand-by and see if he could get an earlier flight. I didn't know if he had or not, since I was already on the plane on my way there. When I got off the plane, I had no expectations of him being at the airport already. The airport was so crowded, and obviously so noisy. I got off the plane and was headed to baggage claim when I heard "Jina". Honestly (and this sounds corny) but I was so tuned into his voice, from having only been able to talk to him for months (and hours a day) on the phone that I heard his voice so clearly through all that noise. (Don't gag, I know it sounds corny, but it's true lol). I think you can really get to know someone on a deep level when all you have is the phone and email. All you do is TALK! lol

I knew instantly, when I saw him, that he was the man for me. It just reinforced what I had already been feeling for those months prior to actually meeting. (not saying this always happen, or that it's even the norm, but sometimes you just "get that feeling").

When he flew back home in April, he put a transfer in for his job to move to Boston. He flew out to be with me again in May, I flew to him in July, and by August, he had put all of his things in his car and driven to Boston to live with me. We got married shortly after and he was truly the love of my life.

So, after a long story lol, yes online "dating" or "long distance dating" , whatever, can work. But as far as long distance, I think one or the other person needs to make it clear up front whether or not they can move if things got serious and what it is they're looking for from a relationship.

On the other hand, since my husband passed away I've tried the online dating thing again. And have met a couple of real tools. I think online dating is different than it used to be, before it became the norm. A much bigger...umm..."variety" of people out there now I guess. Makes it so I gave up on it altogether.

Just be careful and have a "safe" call. But always keep your mind open, it CAN happen.

Man I can ramble.

 

[Carrieannew]

Alright peeps.. totally think the fish site was no good for me..

But OkCupid ....

I'll keep everyone posted but things look really really good. Didnt think I could find a "normal" guy on a dating site.

 

[sand2270]

Alright peeps.. totally think the fish site was no good for me..

But OkCupid ....

I'll keep everyone posted but things look really really good. Didnt think I could find a "normal" guy on a dating site.

I think I have hit my "I am better off alone than dealing with this crap" wall again LOL.

I like being on that wall...I put up with less BS.

 

[Carrieannew]

I think I have hit my "I am better off alone than dealing with this crap" wall again LOL.

I like being on that wall...I put up with less BS.

Completely understand. It wont take me long to get back there.

 

[tawasdave]

I think I have hit my "I am better off alone than dealing with this crap" wall again LOL.

I like being on that wall...I put up with less BS.

Completely understand. It wont take me long to get back there.

I know how you both feel...I felt the same way after Ang dumped me...

 

[sand2270]

I know how you both feel...I felt the same way after Ang dumped me...

from what I heard..you deserved it...

LOL just kidding...I never heard anything just being a brat.

 

[Carrieannew]

Walls are back

First person I talk to that I felt a connection with on these dating sites (other than a person I feel a connection but he does not seem interested the same) ...emailed for 2 days and talked... deleted his account today. Did a google search on his username.. yup married..

I'm so not ready for this like I thought I was.

Every reason I have to not trust people.. just gets reaffirmed daily

 

[sand2270]

Walls are back

First person I talk to that I felt a connection with on these dating sites (other than a person I feel a connection with from here but he does not seem interested the same) ...emailed for 2 days and talked... deleted his account today. Did a google search on his username.. yup married..

I'm so not ready for this like I thought I was.

Every reason I have to not trust people.. just gets reaffirmed daily

I'm so sorry...dating sucks...and finding someone you can trust is hard.

We'll hang out on the wall together

 

[black562]

Walls are back

First person I talk to that I felt a connection with on these dating sites (other than a person I feel a connection with from here but he does not seem interested the same) ...emailed for 2 days and talked... deleted his account today. Did a google search on his username.. yup married..

I'm so not ready for this like I thought I was.

Every reason I have to not trust people.. just gets reaffirmed daily

When it comes to trust, it isn't just the guys, believe me...I know from experience. So please don't make guys out to be the only ones that can't be trusted (not that you were).

I've always said that when you look for something, you never find it. Then, when you least expect it, it hits you from out of the blue. Often it comes from the place you least expect it and sometimes from a person you least expect it from, maybe right under your nose the entire time.

Every bad relationship is a learning experience for the next one to come. Lessons learned are quite valuable ya know.

 

[Carrieannew]

I'm so sorry...dating sucks...and finding someone you can trust is hard.

We'll hang out on the wall together

Can there be plenty of booze on this wall?

Joe - I know that you can not look for these things. And trust me I am the last person who would actually put herself out there looking. But at a certain point in your life (mine) I cant live under a rock anymore and I cant hold out hope that when I am not looking it will come.

Because the last 2 times something just showed up at my doorstep... first one broke my heart and the second is just not that into me.

 

[CinRell]

I met a couple of my ex boyfriends online. Most didn't go well. My BEST relationships were men I met when I honestly wasn't looking... so the saying is true. However I know as we get older and our lives become just work and home, it's hard to meet someone UNLESS you are looking!

I met my ex BF on POF. I was looking. I forced something to be there when it wasn't and he was too inexperienced to know better.

Most people misrepresent themselves online because they can. Or they just don't want to stop looking because there ARE "so many more fish int he sea" they're always looking for better. Unfortunately many see online dating as a high tech brothel which is NOT my thing.

My company runs a dating website .. for a very unique group of people... and in the 3 years we've been in operation we've had more than 75 marriages. So yes it works for some.

YOu just have to be realistic about it and know that when you talk online for even months, you don't really know the person until you meet them and spend real time with them. And while you don't have to assume the worst of everyone, be realistic that they are on their best behavior because they, too, are looking for SOMETHING. you just have to figure out what.

Best of luck to all of the single disers. I"ve been single since last May and went through the whole really wanting to meet someone.. to hating the opposite sex.. I"m currently finally at the point that I"m comfy with myself. Sure I want kids one day but... I'm not sure it will happen anymore and I"ve come to terms with that. I surround myself with family and friends and my rescue work and my writing and I realize so many things I enjoy now I may not have the time for if I were in a relationship.

Just take things one day at a time... even if you meet online and it seems perfect.

That's advice I have to tell myself frequently in many aspects of life.

 

[sand2270]

When it comes to trust, it isn't just the guys, believe me...I know from experience. Remember, I caught my wife at Christmas!!! So please don't make guys out to be the only ones that can't be trusted (not that you were).

I've always said that when you look for something, you never find it. Then, when you least expect it, it hits you from out of the blue. Often it comes from the place you least expect it and sometimes from a person you least expect it from, maybe right under your nose the entire time.

Every bad relationship is a learning experience for the next one to come. Lessons learned are quite valuable ya know.

I don't think either of us said it was just men...women do untrustworthy things too.

Carrie...I also don't think "hardening" your heart a little is such a bad thing. Like I said, when I am like that I put up with less BS and tend to meet more quality people. I also tend to focus on myself more and worry less about am I going to see so and so, is so and so going to call, etc. Who cares...I'm busy LOL.

 

[black562]

I met a couple of my ex boyfriends online. Most didn't go well. My BEST relationships were men I met when I honestly wasn't looking... so the saying is true. However I know as we get older and our lives become just work and home, it's hard to meet someone UNLESS you are looking!

I met my ex BF on POF. I was looking. I forced something to be there when it wasn't and he was too inexperienced to know better.

Most people misrepresent themselves online because they can. Or they just don't want to stop looking because there ARE "so many more fish int he sea" they're always looking for better. Unfortunately many see online dating as a high tech brothel which is NOT my thing.

My company runs a dating website .. for a very unique group of people... and in the 3 years we've been in operation we've had more than 75 marriages. So yes it works for some.

YOu just have to be realistic about it and know that when you talk online for even months, you don't really know the person until you meet them and spend real time with them. And while you don't have to assume the worst of everyone, be realistic that they are on their best behavior because they, too, are looking for SOMETHING. you just have to figure out what.

Best of luck to all of the single disers. I"ve been single since last May and went through the whole really wanting to meet someone.. to hating the opposite sex.. I"m currently finally at the point that I"m comfy with myself. Sure I want kids one day but... I'm not sure it will happen anymore and I"ve come to terms with that. I surround myself with family and friends and my rescue work and my writing and I realize so many things I enjoy now I may not have the time for if I were in a relationship.

Just take things one day at a time... even if you meet online and it seems perfect.

That's advice I have to tell myself frequently in many aspects of life.

You make valid points, along with one I always like to point out.

You MUST be happy yourself and you can't look to others for your happiness. Once you are happy inside, that will project outward and the people you meet will be of a better caliber. It sounds simple and maybe it is, but so many people overlook it and think they need someone else to be happy.

One of the happiest persons I know is my cousin...totally single, travels the world (and incredibly wealthy). He found his happiness and may remain single forever...but happy nontheless.