OT- "Meeting people online" experience needed!

[starrzone]

Hi all,

I thought this would be the best forum in which to ask this question, since from reading the posts here I gather that quite a few of us are single!

What is everyone's experience with meeting people online? (I hesitate to use the term "online dating" because there isn't any going on yet!) I just joined a site yesterday and I've gotten several of the "Want to chat?" e-mail types. I send back short, sort of vague replies with no personal info, just answering the questions that the guy asked and some general chitchat. I'm completely new at this sort of thing and I was wondering what others' experiences have been. Was it fun and a positive experience? Did you meet nice people? How long before you agreed to meet someone? Any really bad experiences? I know enough to be cautious about the whole thing but I want to be open and willing to try it out too!

Thanks a bunch!

 

[katydidbug1]

Caution is always good, keep an open mind. I met my soon to be husband right here on the boards last January. We are getting married on Tuesday.

Hi all,

I thought this would be the best forum in which to ask this question, since from reading the posts here I gather that quite a few of us are single!

What is everyone's experience with meeting people online? (I hesitate to use the term "online dating" because there isn't any going on yet!) I just joined a site yesterday and I've gotten several of the "Want to chat?" e-mail types. I send back short, sort of vague replies with no personal info, just answering the questions that the guy asked and some general chitchat. I'm completely new at this sort of thing and I was wondering what others' experiences have been. Was it fun and a positive experience? Did you meet nice people? How long before you agreed to meet someone? Any really bad experiences? I know enough to be cautious about the whole thing but I want to be open and willing to try it out too!

Thanks a bunch!

 

[MOREMICKEYFORME]

I am not a pro at this since I just started on this Singles thread. I would just suggest sticking to the email thing for awhile until you weed out the ones who you know are interested in things you are not. I would limit the people you give out phone numbers to people you feel you have gotten to know for awhile as those numbers can be traced to an address.
Just be careful, there are some freaks out there...but I have also met some GREAT people, too.
Good Luck.

 

[acm563]

My best advice is to make intelligent choices and think with your head and not your heart or your libido... I did the online dating thing when I got divorced and it definitly is not for me. I met over 80 different people and I can honestly say only 2 of them were bad experiences. Always make sure to plan a meeting in a very public place. Lunchtime meetings or a meet for a cup of coffee are a better way to start off instead of full blown evening dates. Make sure that you are a strong enough person that you will have the will power to cut the meeting short if it isnt what you want it to be. Make sure you always tell a close friend or someone where you are going and whom it is you plan to meet with every meeting. I used to even leave specifics on my desk at home, saying who it was, how I met them, the email addy I had for them, the phone number I had and their picture...just in case... There have been many people who met online and made a good connection... (actually, I met my husband thru an internet dating site, obviously we didnt work out but that had nothing to do with the fact that we met online) I have made many wonderful friends whom I still see and correspond with that I met from online dating. As with everything else, use common sense, if something doesnt feel right then dont do it, listen to your instinct. I have a myspace acct and last year this guy started talking with me, he had very few ppl on his myspace, we chatted for about 3 months, he claimed he was a police officer (and he may have really been one) but something just didnt feel right. When he asked me to meet him for dinner, I said OK but only if I can bring a friend with me....he found offence in that and I havent heard from him since but there is not a doubt in my mind something just wasnt quite right there, altho we had many nice conversations. If you use common sense , realize that the person behind the monitor or even the telephone may not be all that they portray themselves to be, then yes I think you can find success online...Just BE CAREFUL!

 

[nurse.darcy]

I met someone through an online dating site a while back. We talked a bit and then eventually met for drinks in a VERY public place. We both agreed that if there was any kind of chemistry we would eat dinner after, if not go our separate ways. He turned out to be a really nice guy and we have been friends - no it wasn't a love connection - but we are good friends. I think that caution as everyone else has said is good and don't be afraid to actually meet. Just choose meeting places carefully.

 

[starrzone]

Caution is always good, keep an open mind. I met my soon to be husband right here on the boards last January. We are getting married on Tuesday.

Awww, that's awesome! Congrats! See, that's why I'm doing this; you never know who you'll meet.

I would limit the people you give out phone numbers to people you feel you have gotten to know for awhile as those numbers can be traced to an address.
Just be careful, there are some freaks out there...but I have also met some GREAT people, too.
Good Luck.

Oh, I definitely plan on NOT giving out my number unless I really have a good feeling. Thanks for reminding me! I will be careful and I'll use my judgement to weed out the freaks (hopefully).

My best advice is to make intelligent choices and think with your head and not your heart or your libido... If you use common sense , realize that the person behind the monitor or even the telephone may not be all that they portray themselves to be, then yes I think you can find success online...Just BE CAREFUL!

This is perfect advice. Just today (less than 24 hours after I put up my profile), this 45-year old guy (I'm almost 27) started chatting with me. I chatted back because, quite honestly, if I had met this guy in a bar and he started talking to me, I wouldn't just turn around and walk away. That being said, he asked "So when can we meet?" and I told hime something like "Well, I'm not quite ready for anything yet, so wait a bit and if you're still interested then we might work something out". My head is telling me that there is NO WAY that I will ever do anything with this guy and, quite honestly, I hope I never hear from him again (he has 3 kids- 21, 16 and 6. I'm 27!!!). his situation is just not for me.

I met someone through an online dating site a while back. We talked a bit and then eventually met for drinks in a VERY public place. We both agreed that if there was any kind of chemistry we would eat dinner after, if not go our separate ways. He turned out to be a really nice guy and we have been friends - no it wasn't a love connection - but we are good friends. I think that caution as everyone else has said is good and don't be afraid to actually meet. Just choose meeting places carefully.

I like your approach. I think I'll use the chemistry thing as well because it give both parties an "out" and it's mutually agreed upon before the meeting. I'm glad there are lots of coffee places around here, and they're all usually pretty crowded so they're safe bets!

Thanks everyone for the advice! I think this is all info that could be pretty useful for anyone considering the online way of meeting people. I the DIS!

 

[Carrieannew]

You pretty much got all the great advice you need here from these wonderful ladies.

Like Angy said think with your head. Nothing is always how it appears. Expecially online. People can lie, that being said there are great people as well.

Ive met great people here on the dis boards. Heck I even shared a room with someone in May who I had never met in person. You can just get a feeling for someone. And I knew just from talking to him on the phone just a few short times that he was a good person.

I wish you luck. I wish I was the type of person who would put myself out there on a dating site. But I honestly do not handle the rejection well and could not take meeting 80 people to hope to find the one.

I suggest meeting early on. Only because the more you talk.. the more you can "feel" a connection.. that honestly could not really be there in person.

 

[acm563]

You pretty much got all the great advice you need here from these wonderful ladies.

Like Angy said think with your head. Nothing is always how it appears. Expecially online. People can lie, that being said there are great people as well.

Ive met great people here on the dis boards. Heck I even shared a room with someone in May who I had never met in person. You can just get a feeling for someone. And I knew just from talking to him on the phone just a few short times that he was a good person.

I wish you luck. I wish I was the type of person who would put myself out there on a dating site. But I honestly do not handle the rejection well and could not take meeting 80 people to hope to find the one.

I suggest meeting early on. Only because the more you talk.. the more you can "feel" a connection.. that honestly could not really be there in person.

hey I just believe in getting the most for my money If I am going to pay for a subscription I am definitely going to use it

 

[Carrieannew]

hey I just beleive in getting the most for my money If I am going to pay for a subscription I am definitely going to use it

I know I know

Just cant sit threw 80 coffees in hopes of a connection.

I'm sure you were reading my post thinking I need to take my own darn advice hehe

 

[acm563]

I know I know

Just cant sit threw 80 coffees in hopes of a connection.

I'm sure you were reading my post thinking I need to take my own darn advice hehe

Umm. no comment...........

...and I dont sit through 80 meetings if they are boring me to death, I have no problem saying, hey this isnt what I am looking for it was nice meeting you , goodbye

 

[sand2270]

Like everyone else has said, just be careful. Meet in a neutral place, don't give out personal information until you are comfortable with someone. Another piece of advice (don't know if this was mentioned) is if you do meet someone maybe make sure someone knows where you are going and how you met the person.

Funny story...about 4 years ago I was doing eharmony and decided to meet someone for coffee. It was my first eharmony date and my friend Leslie was completely freaked out "you call me when you get there...and you call me after so I know you are safe...are you sure you should go alone?".

We had coffee, decided to get dinner, he walked me back to my car and that was it. Shortly after Leslie calls me, "Where are you?!". My response, "I am in the trunk of his car!!". She goes "WHAT!!!" and I quickly said "Leslie I am just kidding, don't you think he would have taken my phone before putting me in the trunk?".

Needless to say she didn't think it was very funny but I laughed the whole drive home.

 

[Carrieannew]

Like everyone else has said, just be careful. Meet in a neutral place, don't give out personal information until you are comfortable with someone. Another piece of advice (don't know if this was mentioned) is if you do meet someone maybe make sure someone knows where you are going and how you met the person.

Funny story...about 4 years ago I was doing eharmony and decided to meet someone for coffee. It was my first eharmony date and my friend Leslie was completely freaked out "you call me when you get there...and you call me after so I know you are safe...are you sure you should go alone?".

We had coffee, decided to get dinner, he walked me back to my car and that was it. Shortly after Leslie calls me, "Where are you?!". My response, "I am in the trunk of his car!!". She goes "WHAT!!!" and I quickly said "Leslie I am just kidding, don't you think he would have taken my phone before putting me in the trunk?".

Needless to say she didn't think it was very funny but I laughed the whole drive home.

Great story haha

I think we all have a friend like that.

My good friend thought for sure my May roomie was going to kill me. She made me call her daily from WDW. And my brother wanted to know if he owned a hatchett

 

[sand2270]

Great story haha

I think we all have a friend like that.

My good friend thought for sure my May roomie was going to kill me. She made me call her daily from WDW. And my brother wanted to know if he owned a hatchett

HAHA you guys are killing me today!

 

[Carrieannew]

HAHA you guys are killing me today!

 

[tsing]

You pretty much got all the great advice you need here from these wonderful ladies.

Like Angy said think with your head. Nothing is always how it appears. Expecially online. People can lie, that being said there are great people as well.

Ive met great people here on the dis boards. Heck I even shared a room with someone in May who I had never met in person. You can just get a feeling for someone. And I knew just from talking to him on the phone just a few short times that he was a good person.

I wish you luck. I wish I was the type of person who would put myself out there on a dating site. But I honestly do not handle the rejection well and could not take meeting 80 people to hope to find the one.

I suggest meeting early on. Only because the more you talk.. the more you can "feel" a connection.. that honestly could not really be there in person.

From a guy's perspective, I'd have problems with the on-line dating service. Like Carrieannew, I don't need the rejection (at least with the frequency it would probably come from a dating service). Seems to me, the Disboards are a good alternative. You make friends, and if something deeper comes from that, than that's great. If it doesn't, hopefully the friendship is still there.

Besides, if you decide that you want to meet someone in person, you can get past each other's dating/relationship disasters before you meet. You can also get to know a person a little bit before you meet, and maybe spot any "red flags" before you get too far along. If you think there is dishonesty, you can probably catch that too. Hopefully when you do meet, you'll already be friends. And you can have a more positive experience since the negatives are already out of the way.

 

[ttester9612]

Dotto on what everyone else has said.

There's a group of us from the DisBoards in the DC/MD/VA area that we try to meet for lunch at least once a month. This is one way of getting to know others that have the LOVE of Disney. It's safe and we have fun. You never know if from any of the DisMeets a love connection might blossom among us single folks. Our next Dismeet will be January 30th.

 

[Mrsduck101]

I met my boyfriend right here on the Dis and on the old Dismates chat. We talked for a few months and then met for the first time at WDW last May. It was very obvious when we met that we were meant to be

He ended up flying to Ohio (from MA) in both June and July and in August I flew out there and we loaded up a moving truck and drove back to Ohio.

It will be one year next month and we are beyond happy. Maybe we were just lucky, but it was one of those things - we knew right away there was something there.

 

[jadedbeauty14304]

Internet dating brings out all types. So, I wont repeat the "be careful" like everyone else, hopefully you know to take precautions by now... lol. Instead, I am going to tell you to "have fun" with it. Some of the people you meet will not be at all like the person you chatted with, some will be 20 years older than the pictures they have posted on their profile, and some will actually have the potential to make you fall in love with them! When I was younger, I used to have a date with a different guy every other night. I had a blast!!! I met my last true boyfriend on Match.com. We were just a great match and we both knew it by the end of our first date. I remember going home and making all of my dating profiles unsearchable...lol Thats how I knew I really liked him. We dated for a few years, lived together, and although things didn't work out, I was glad that I had used internet dating. I have never gone back to the "internet dating scene" although I have met people on the DIS and formed some great friendships. It is easy to fall head over heels for someone online. Relationships with these people don't always work out, but I guess it goes back to "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"

So, have fun, meet people, and use your common sense about safety.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Great story haha

I think we all have a friend like that.

My good friend thought for sure my May roomie was going to kill me. She made me call her daily from WDW. And my brother wanted to know if he owned a hatchett

That is so funny. I had to call my best friend like three times after Leo, Tracy and Robin got there. My best friend thought I was nuts for sharing quarters with people I had never met. . .lol.

 

[nurse.darcy]

I met my boyfriend right here on the Dis and on the old Dismates chat. We talked for a few months and then met for the first time at WDW last May. It was very obvious when we met that we were meant to be

He ended up flying to Ohio (from MA) in both June and July and in August I flew out there and we loaded up a moving truck and drove back to Ohio.

It will be one year next month and we are beyond happy. Maybe we were just lucky, but it was one of those things - we knew right away there was something there.

Hello my friend, I miss you two. . .gotta talk story soon. . .will be near Cincinatti at the end of Jan. Wanna meet for Lunch or Drinks? I am sure I can talk Rob into it.