When do you stop paying for your kids' cruises?

[darnheather]

Trying to decide if I'm going to pay for my oldest daughter's cruise in 2020. She's going to be taking a gap year and working part time. I'm torn. I want to, but money doesn't grow on trees in our house. Curious what other people do/think.

 

[martikus]

If I want a family vacation I plan to pay no matter the age. I would pick something g I could afford to pay for all.

If I am fine either way if my son comes then I might say hey we are going here and would love to have you if it fits in your budget. On a cruise that would mean he is getting his own room etc.

If you still have kids at home I would definitely pay for oldest.

 

[Dug720]

My parents and my sister and I will usually do something like they pay lodging, we pay our own transportation to vacation, and we each take a meal. Or something along those lines. BUT the trip is usually tied to a birthday or Christmas present, so we don't get as much then.

 

[Geomom]

I would say it partly depends on how old the adult child is...we plan on paying for our kids until they're out of college and have full time jobs--we're all staying in 1 room, so it's not 'that' much extra. (Note we're only doing a cruise every 2 yrs right now, but we do go to Disney World 1-2x/year as we're DVC members...and we're paying for the annual passes, food, etc.)

I'd also think about how much longer is your oldest going to vacation with you--the 2020 cruise might be the last time...the kids get busier/have other places to be during your vacation times.

 

[kathy884]

I voted always. You stop paying for your kids cruises when you die lol. My parents still pay for my family when they invite us to go on a cruise, and I'm 58. They did, though, finally take me off their cell phone plan when I turned 54. Looks like with that example I'll be paying for DS 23 for a long time. And we've always been fine financially (good jobs, etc.) It's just something they wanted to do, thinking too they'd rather do that than leave us more money. // We've insisted on their not paying for us on vacations when we invite them (the trip is our idea and we are just seeing if they want to join us).

I really think a lot of it depends on your financial situation and whether or not you want to pay. We certainly pay for DS 23, are thrilled that he still likes to travel with us, and really enjoy having him along. Also, he doesn't make a lot, and we are comfortable including costs for him to go in the family vacation budget. It's a no brainer that we'll be paying for the cruise for him.

And, of course, don't do anything that doesn't work with your finances or that you don't want to pay for.

 

[GrumpyBelle]

I think it depends on the specific situation. Once they graduate and have some sort of job, I think they should be expected to pay at least a portion of the room. Any extras would be their responsibility...excursions, spa treatments, specialty dining....unless specified in advance.

 

[Eeyore54 fred]

We took what was probably our last family cruise last month that we paid for. DD is 32 and DS is 28. We wanted the family to go and we offered to foot the bill since we could afford it. But they are going on with their own lives now, so we aren’t likely to do it again.

 

[southerngirl528]

I treat my kids to lovely accommodations for family vacations through my Disney Vacation Club membership, and we all enjoy getting together and doing so. But even on these trips I expect them to pay their own food, travel, and misc. expenses. The exception I have made a few times is that one of my kids has had some very serious medical issues that have made them unable to make nearly as much money during their illness, so I have treated them a few times when their siblings were not able to go. But that was an exception. I am very thankful the kids have good educations and great jobs.

So for cruises, they would need to pay their own way.

 

[darnheather]

Thanks everyone. Since she'll still be living at home and eating our food, I think that asking her to save up for her airfare is not unreasonable. Since we have to book these cruises so far out I'll book for three and know that I can drop her closer to PIF if she can't get out of work.

 

[Cruising Engineer]

Once we have paid for their education, through graduate school (masters), the bank and TA services are closed.

 

[Trip planner]

I think if you are planning all of the details and would like them to join you, you should try to pay. My MIL invited us on a trip she was taking abroad with my FIL and SIL to visit extended family. She really wanted me to meet the extended family. DH and I were willing to go, However, it was very expensive and we had no input on any decisions about cities we were visiting and hotels, etc. I just didn’t feel comfortable having her spend so much of my money. We declined the offer. Honestly, if my in-laws had covered some of the costs and/or asked us what we wanted to do in a country I had never been to, we would’ve gone. I have decided that if I someday want my adult children to join me on a family vacation (that I plan) I will foot the bill (or the majority of the bill).

 

[Sunshine2U]

Our adult children are not so enamored with Disney that it is where they would choose to spend their vacation time/money. We want to go to WDW and DCL with the grands so we pay for the trip. We considered leaving DS and DD off the invitation list but we occasionally need them to babysit their kids, or ride Dumbo with them

 

[FigmentSpark]

I voted always. You stop paying for your kids cruises when you die lol. My parents still pay for my family when they invite us to go on a cruise, and I'm 58. They did, though, finally take me off their cell phone plan when I turned 54. Looks like with that example I'll be paying for DS 23 for a long time. And we've always been fine financially (good jobs, etc.) It's just something they wanted to do, thinking too they'd rather do that than leave us more money. // We've insisted on their not paying for us on vacations when we invite them (the trip is our idea and we are just seeing if they want to join us).

I really think a lot of it depends on your financial situation and whether or not you want to pay. We certainly pay for DS 23, are thrilled that he still likes to travel with us, and really enjoy having him along. Also, he doesn't make a lot, and we are comfortable including costs for him to go in the family vacation budget. It's a no brainer that we'll be paying for the cruise for him.

And, of course, don't do anything that doesn't work with your finances or that you don't want to pay for.

Excellent point about spending the money with you rather than just letting the government take a share after they're gone. My parents are like that, too. Then they get to see us enjoy it with them, but there's the unsaid notion that spending it now means less in the estate. I'm okay with that, because I'd rather they spent their money than save it for me to spend when they're gone. And their great joys in life are their children and grandchildren.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I voted yes always. I figure that if I want my kid, adult or otherwise to join in a vacation I planned and organized etc.. itd be right to just pay it. If they want xtra.. excursions etc that I wasn’t doing,,, they re on their own.

 

[Shanti]

Excellent point about spending the money with you rather than just letting the government take a share after they're gone. My parents are like that, too. Then they get to see us enjoy it with them, but there's the unsaid notion that spending it now means less in the estate. I'm okay with that, because I'd rather they spent their money than save it for me to spend when they're gone. And their great joys in life are their children and grandchildren.

The government only takes a share after the $5 million mark, so I don't think that's much of an issue for most people.

 

[cruiser21]

My parents paid for family vacations well into our 30’s. Not because we couldn’t they just liked to treat us and the grandbabies. If invite my kids and I want them to go I’ll pay. I think 19 is way to young to expect a kid to pay for a vacation. I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides to just not go with you if you make her pay. I think if my parents were both alive and healthy they’d still be treating us to an occasional trip and I’m on my 40’s .

 

[FSU Girl]

My parents stopped paying for my trips when I turned 18. I haven’t cruise with them since so not sure if in the future they invite me and their future grandchild if they would pay or not. I know definitely not on Disney they think the cruises are way too expensive, but maybe the would on another line.

I think only you can decide if you want to pay or not.

 

[AnnaS]

We have previously paid for my kids' cruises (one was married and one engaged/came as couples of course). Not sure what the future will hold but I will pay if I can afford to pay. If and when it gets to be too much, we will contribute a gift card or something towards their on board expenses.

If one can, loves to vacation with their kids (families), why not. There is no age limit.

 

[DietCokeMommy]

My kids are still really little. But at this point I don’t think I’d expect them to pay until they were financially independent. It would also depend on how much I wanted them to come with us. I spent my 20s barely being able to pay my bills, so expensive vacations were not in the cards. If my kids get into a similar situation I wouldn’t expect them to pay and if we really wanted them to come, we would pay.

I haven’t done any cruises with my parents, but as an adult they still pay for things on family vacations. Generally if we all go somewhere they rent a house and pay for it. DH and I will then buy groceries and pay for one or two dinners out.

To be honest, I would not expect a 19 year old to pay for much. To me that’s still pretty much a kid and part time jobs don’t usually pay well. As long as I was in a financial position to do so, I’d pay and encourage my kid to save as much of her earnings as possible.

 

[AngelDisney]

DD is 21 and still in university so we have been paying for the yearly summer trip. We would continue to pay as long as she is going with us. Once she is married and has her own family to care for, we may have different plans and she should pay for her family vacation. I know my DD. By then she may insist on paying for her own expenses even if she’s travelling with us. I would love to take any grandkids with me to any Disney trips sans the parents. Those interactions are priceless and I get to spoil them!