As a friend of ours, Jason (low-key), might say, long post.....
I would say, at its earliest, it all started back in 1964, when as a 20-year-old, I started work at a mid-sized Fortune 500 company, located in suburban Chicago. I was hired as one of about fifteen mail messengers to deliver mail, packages, etc. within the corporate offices. Over the course of the next 5 years, I worked my way up as the manager of the mail department.
In 1966, a young lady, Marie, a recent business school graduate, started at the same company in one of the corporate departments. I did take notice of her, as I delivered mail, etc. to her area, or as she came to the mailroom to drop off things that had to be redistributed within the headquarters or mailed out. We used to chit-chat a bit, small talk.
In January of 1968 (this date is important to my story), there was going to be a company ski trip up in neighboring Wisconsin. This was not an overnight event. I had recently taken up a bit of skiing in the previous and current years and thought this would be an opportune time to ask Marie for a first date. Kind of low key, other familiar people around, etc. Well, I asked her at work if I could call her in the evening to ask her something. Amazingly, she gave me her home phone number and said I could call. (I think that is the way that part worked, after all, that was 56 years ago, memory gets fuzzy). Anyway, I did call her and talked a bit and then asked about taking her on the ski trip. Well, the answer was a quick, no. She said she did not ski and was not about to learn how to ski. Now, I did find out, later down the road, that Marie had given herself a workplace policy of not dating people from within the company. Too many horror stories of things going wrong and the subsequent fallout at work.
Anyway, I think I asked if I could call again, just to chit-chat. The answer must have been, yes, as I did call back in a few days, just to talk. I also still saw Marie every day at work, just friendly, passing in the hallways, her floor, mailroom, etc.
As time went on, I called a few more times, and a few more times, and a few more times. By March of 1968, I was calling Marie at home after work maybe three times a week. The amazing thing about the calls was how long they lasted. Keep in mind, back then, no cell phones, no emails, no text messages. It was either a phone call, in our case, our parents’ home phones (we both lived at home with our respective parents) or maybe a written letter. After a few weeks, the three-a-week average number of phone calls usually each lasted about four hours. Really! From about 7 PM to 11 PM. Hours and hours every week. It was amazing. We learned so much about each other with these seemingly endless calls. It was almost like we were dating each other, learning about each other, except not in person.
Well, this went on for months. For months. We continued to learn about each other, our likes, dislikes, life ideas, everything. And I still kept trying to get an in-person date lined up. But no go. No date, yet.
Time went on and at some point, in late summer I think, still 1968, Marie decided to leave the company we were both working at. Not that her leaving resulted from the two of us and our over-the-phone ‘courtship’, but the company was cutting back on people, laying people off. She worked in the HR department (personnel department in those days), and she saw the lack of concern the company had in letting people go. She was in no danger of getting laid off herself, but she did not like what she saw happening to other people and decided she did not like working for the company any longer. So, relative to my story here, the question of dating somebody at work was now gone.
But that did not seem to budge the needle off zero. Still no in-person date even though I asked every so often. We did continue our ongoing 3 day-a-week, 4-hour long phone call routine. Since we were tying up our folks’ phone line so much, I decided to put in my own phone line in my bedroom and Marie’s mom decided to put a phone line in for her in her bedroom. Now at least, other people could make and get phone calls without us tying up the line a few nights a week.
At some point, not long after Marie left the company, I also decided to leave the company. We were now both gone from the place where we originally met each other. The phone call pattern continued, three or four nights a week, about four hours a call. We really got to know each other well. But still, a frequent request for an ‘actual date’. Still, no.
By the fall of 1968, I thought I would have to pull all the stops out. Prayer. Having been raised Catholic, I believe both in prayer as well as the intercession of saints. Not praying to the saints, but rather asking for their intercessions to God. I went daily to a church to pray for maybe 30 minutes, asking St. Jude, patron saint of the ‘impossible’ (and I think I was dealing with the ‘impossible’ here) for us Catholics, to intercede for me to get a ‘real’ date, not just a continuing phone date. Now, know I did not have to go to a church to pray, can do that anywhere. But, like many churches, physically being there puts one in the right ‘state of mind’.
I did my prayers at church for about 30 days. While I was still doing them, now about early November, I thought of one, very last-ditch idea to get a first date. During one of our phone calls, in asking for a date, I asked if we could maybe go to Mass together on Thanksgiving. Now, you can’t get much more innocent of a date like that for a first date. Well, Marie replied with something like, ‘Well, let me think about it for a week, we’ll see.’ Wow, almost knocked me over with that reply! Stunned! A few days later, on our call, I asked, and she said she was still thinking about it. Well, still good, in the running. Finally, maybe a week before Thanksgiving, Marie said she would go to Thanksgiving Day mass with me. Just mass, and then back home. Progress!
We lived about 10 miles apart, maybe a 30-minute drive each way. Mass was at 10 AM. Church was down the street, one block from my house. I asked Marie if picking her up at about 9:15 would work out. If I recall, she then said to come about 9 so her mom and dad could meet me. Even better.
So, I guess I left my home about 8:30, arrived at Marie’s about 9:00. Now the big moment, ring the doorbell. Eleven months to get to this point, with some help from Above. Marie came to the door, smiled, asked me to come in. She was all fancied dressed, I was wearing a sport coat and tie. Her mom and dad met me, asked me to sit for a bit. We talked about what, I have no recollection. Small talk I suppose.
Now time to leave and head back to my neighborhood and church. I opened the car door for Marie, and she got in. As I was walking around the car for me to get in, I was thinking to myself, ‘this really is not happening.’
Anyway, we left Marie’s home and talked as we drove to church by me. Keep in mind that we have been talking for hours and hours every week for about eleven months now. So, it was not like we were on a blind date or introducing ourselves to each other. It just seemed, ‘normal’.
We arrived probably 10 minutes before mass. Went into church and attended Thanksgiving mass, as planned. When mass was over, maybe about 10:50 or so, I asked if she would like to go out to breakfast. I was kind of expecting, ‘no’, but got a ‘yes’ instead. But also, she said that we go right back to her house after breakfast. Sounded okay to me. I knew that a nearby Howard Johnson’s restaurant would be open on Thanksgiving, so I suggested we go there. And we did. We had a nice breakfast, nothing special, do not recall, but just a simple breakfast, but with Marie. When we finished, I told Marie we would be heading back to her house.
When we arrived back at her house, Marie suggested I come in for a bit and relax for a while before heading home. Her mom and dad were both so very pleasant and accommodating. I had a glass of wine with them. After maybe an hour, Marie’s mom asked if I was going to be having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. At this point, I made a calculated decision to reply with a fib. Seeing how nice her parents were, I thought I might try to play on their accommodating nature and said that our Thanksgiving family dinner, with my immediate family and some cousins, was usually around the early afternoon and was probably over. Actually, our family holiday meals were always late afternoon. But I assured her mom I would stop back at Howard Johnson’s and get some fried chicken for Thanksgiving dinner on my own. That’s all where the fib came in. I could have left and had Thanksgiving dinner with my family just fine. With that, her mom said she would see none of that, I could stay there with Marie and her family for their Thanksgiving dinner. I politely declined, knowing it would not be accepted. Marie called her mom into the kitchen (we were in the living room) and said she would have none of that, me ‘butting’ into their family afternoon and evening. He’s supposed to leave.
Her mom told me I would be joining the family for my Thanksgiving dinner. So, I enjoyed my first meal with Marie’s family the same day of our first date. But Marie did not concede that it really was a ‘full, real date’ but rather just a ‘get together’. Whatever it was called, I finally went home about 11 PM that night. Amazed at how the day unfolded.
I think I probably called the next day, reviewed our previous day together, with Marie ‘chewing’ me out a bit for being there so long the day before. I smiled. Not sure if on that call or a day or so later, but I did ask for a second date, or ‘get together’, as the case may be. Again, it was, ‘let me think about it for a few days.’ And in a few days, it was, ‘yes, let’s get together again.’ I suggested Christmas Eve. And yes, we did have our second ‘date’ on Christmas Eve. Picked Marie up maybe around 7 PM. We went to a fancy restaurant in Downtown Chicago. And we spent Christmas Eve together. When I brought Marie home, I think I asked about getting together again. Marie said something like, ‘How about after New Year’s?’ I was fine with that.
And we did get together again, New Year’s, 1969. And we pretty much have been together ever since. We were engaged in June 1970, married 1971. We celebrated our 52nd anniversary last year, 2023. Today, we have two children, five grandchildren and one daughter-in-law.
And to this day, I recognize that I alone did not bring this all to be. I still thank God, to Whom I prayed, and carry an acknowledgment of St. Jude’s intercession to God on my behalf.
I told you, long post.
@Lord Manhammer, and everyone!
Grace and peace. You’ll be on my mind.
