I'm a shy introvert w/ a bit of social anxiety, & I'm not a huge fan of small talk either. However, I really try to not let that affect how my world is colored, & I hope I come across as pleasant & sociable. While I may not prefer small talk, I do try to engage & return casual, small talk w/ people.
Most of the time, I think people are just trying to be pleasant & make connections & don't mean to come off as instrusive. (Of course, there's always going to be the random Nosy Nellie...)
I, along w/ a million other people, regularly get deliveries from
Amazon & other places. Most of the time, our delivery people just leave our deliveries on our front porch, so I have no idea what they think about our packages. By the huffing & puffing she does & the frown on her face, I know our mail lady is not that happy when she has to get out of her mail truck to deliver a package, but she's never said anything to me.
Regarding the question "So what your plans for the rest of the day?" from relative strangers, I think people who regularly work w/ the public have been given instructions to be friendly & engaging & are probably given little "conservation starters" to try.
I get asked that question frequently by either the Publix cashier or the bagger - it's almost like they're reading from a script.
"Did you find everything you needed?"
"Is it still hot/rainy/cold outside?"
"So what are your plans for the afternoon/evening/weekend?"
And there are always the random comments on a few different items I'm purchasing - "I've never tried this. Is it good?" "Oh, it looks like someone is making 'smores!" "Is it Taco Night tonight?"
My hair stylist also always asks, "Do you have plans for today after you leave here?" And I'll usually say something like "No, not really...", & then she'll say, "Well, you & [DH's name] need to go out since your hair looks so good!"
A few days ago, I was getting my nails done, & the nail technician who was doing my nails asked me, "What do you have planned for today?" And, when I went to wash my hands after my nails were done, another nail technician who was standing near the sinks asked me, "Are you going back to work this afternoon?"
I was dressed in leggings & a t-shirt, so I'm not sure where he thought I worked. LOL!
But, again, I really just think they've been instructed to be friendly & engaging & make conservation, & they've been given a few different little "conversation starters" to help.
Employer: You need to engage w/ the customer. Be friendly.
Employee: But I don't know what to say.
Employer: Try asking them what their plans are for the day.
Like others have said, I hate to think we've gotten to a place where we're offended when people are just trying to be friendly & that we've forgotten how to socially communicate w/ one another.
That said, sometimes small talk can go too far sometimes & delve into the "nosy" category. I think that's where the person really needs to be good at reading social cues & knowing when to stop & be able to read the other person & realize, "Hey, this person isn't too much a fan of small talk & these questions."
And there have been a time or two where I've been purchasing a "naughty" card for DH, & I really wouldn't necessarily have wanted the cashier to be reading the card while I'm paying. LOL!