Mail Delivery Person Comments on Packages

[smiths02]

I can understand why the OP may feel uncomfortable. I agree that it is not something to spend a lot of time thinking about or to get too worked up over.

However, if the delivery person was just making small talk, maybe she would mention it to the OP once or twice. But then to carry on the conversation and basically "tattle" that the wife gets a lot of packages is a bit over the top. I mean maybe all the packages are really for the husband. Maybe the wife can buy whatever she wants and the husband doesn't need to know. It is that part of it that seems like the delivery person is going beyond "small talk."

I doubt it is tattling. Our Amazon account has my name on it. All the packages come addressed to me, the mail person would know who they are addressed to, so I wouldn't find it odd for someone to say that "you wife gets a lot of packages."

I really doubt she is judging you, OP.
Last year, Amazon shipped an estimated 1.22 billion packages in the U.S., according to MWPVL International, a supply-chain consultancy. In 2017, there were about 126.22 million households in the United States.

 

[CarolAnn856]

The delivery person and the cashier aren't doing anything wrong. They're just making small talk, which is a perfectly normal thing to do. Feeling embarassed about your purchases or the number of them, on the other hand, is something you should get to the root of. And if it's the small talk itself that leaves you unconfortable, again, that's your issue to deal with, and I say that as someone who used to deal with social anxiety. It's not other people's job to quell your personal issue with interacting with others.

 

[SteveH]

The UPS guys is at work every single day. Between what we order for work and that I encourage my staff team to have their personal packages delivered here (due to porch pirates) it's very rare we don't see him. He gives us a bad time if we only have one package sometimes. But I'd tell your person that you are keeping them employed, if it wasn't for you she would be out of a job... but say with a smile on your face! Reality is that it's the truth too.

 

[Wubar]

well I dont care, she has no right to make the OP guilty about the amount of mail being delivered and maybe some home truths would make HER embarrassed, see how she likes being made fun of, and actually it is the rise of online shopping which is keeping mail delivery people in jobs now!

Only the OP has the ability to make herself feel guilty. Weird.

 

[SirDuff]

You do realize your post you deleted or edited was quoted so we can all still see what you did post!

The whole post is gone - which the PP couldn't have done (you cannot delete your posts, only edit the content, so it would still be there, just blank). Looks like it was deleted by the mod (probably looked like it was trying to get around the filter).

 

[Kellykins1218]

You are right, we do not know the tone. My point is maybe it is not as innocent as others think. And anyway, why does the mail carrier need to bring up to the husband the number of packages she delivers for the wife? Just sayin'. This is not 1950. "Hey your little lady is spending too much money."

I am not saying that I would get too worked up over it. I am merely discussing a situation and different ways it could be interpreted.

 

[LSUmiss]

That was kind of a weird reaction. It wasn't like you had already signed the cards and there were personal messages written in them.

Personally if it were me I’d be more annoyed by the time she was wasting doing that. I don’t have time for all that. And were there ppl behind her? I’d be even more aggravated if I was standing in a line while all that went on.

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

I couldn't imagine being annoyed by a mail person trying to make conversation with me. I like talking. The starbucks baristas always comment on the "usual" order I always place before I head to work. It's things like "working again?" or "Save those patients!" I don't mind at all. It's a nice conversation starter.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

So, you would ask a complete stranger what they are doing for the rest of the day?

It does seem odd and a bit creepy. I could see asking "How are you today?"

But, what are you doing for the rest of the day? No. Not small talk. That is crossing some boundaries.

 

[cabanafrau]

I've had sales clerks ask me if I was doing anything fun that day, usually in reference to some especially nice weather we were having, or maybe ask me if I had plans for the upcoming weekend if the weather is expected to be particularly nice or maybe a holiday weekend. Usually it's a case where I'm waiting for something to be brought out from the backroom or maybe at the butcher's while they're wrapping up some meat I've bought. I've never found it creepy, out of line or intrusive, merely idle chit chat to fill the time until they can hand me my merchandise and send me on my way.

 

[Music City Mama]

I had a bagger at Publix the other day ask me what was I going to be doing the rest of the day.

I have to pipe in on this. I've been going to the same Publix for years. The bagger ALWAYS asks me when they're walking me to my car, "Do you have any special plans for the rest of the day?" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It doesn't matter who the bagger is, I've been asked this for years. I think (at least at my Publix) that they're trained to ask that as small talk/friendliness, because it's asked every time and it's always phrased like that. Sometimes they'll ask while they're still bagging, and sometimes the cashier will even ask. It's like their choice phrase/question for small talk there. Depending upon my mood, I may be vague or may offer up details. I've never found it intrusive, but I guess I'm just used to it.

 

[aprilgail]

So, you would ask a complete stranger what they are doing for the rest of the day?

I would certainly make conversation back like "oh not much, just doing some errands"- or "seeing A Star is Born Later"- I wouldn't give a blow by blow but I would make conversation back.

 

[Pooh2]

My UPS guy makes occasional comments such as "You must love Disney!" or "Enjoy your steaks!".
Making conversation and human interaction is still I good thing in my book!
The same guy would tap the horn and wait for me to get to the door when he knew I had shoulder surgery, so he could push the package inside the door for me.
I like that aspect of being part of a small community.

 

[PlainJane]

I've had sales clerks ask me if I was doing anything fun that day, usually in reference to some especially nice weather we were having, or maybe ask me if I had plans for the upcoming weekend if the weather is expected to be particularly nice or maybe a holiday weekend. Usually it's a case where I'm waiting for something to be brought out from the backroom or maybe at the butcher's while they're wrapping up some meat I've bought. I've never found it creepy, out of line or intrusive, merely idle chit chat to fill the time until they can hand me my merchandise and send me on my way.

I, normally, get this question on nice days, Friday nights, and Saturdays. It’s never bothered me. It’s generally when I’m being checked out and have a number of items to get through.

Many years ago my parents would get tons of things delivered to the house. The postman would make comments about the number, and I never thought to take offense. It’s occupational small talk.

I will say the card situation would be a toughie. I would not want to wait through someone reading 7 cards, quite bizarre of someone to do to begin with, but I also wouldn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings over it.

 

[smiths02]

I thought it was rude that someone I don't even know would be reading my personal items and commenting on them. Asking who died and who's birthday it was. None of that was her business. Maybe that sort of thing wouldn't bother you. Some of us are more private. I had a bagger at Publix the other day ask me what was I going to be doing the rest of the day. What concern is that to him? It would never dawn on me to ask someone that I dont know a question like that.

I have to pipe in on this. I've been going to the same Publix for years. The bagger ALWAYS asks me when they're walking me to my car, "Do you have any special plans for the rest of the day?" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It doesn't matter who the bagger is, I've been asked this for years. I think (at least at my Publix) that they're trained to ask that as small talk/friendliness, because it's asked every time and it's always phrased like that. Sometimes they'll ask while they're still bagging, and sometimes the cashier will even ask. It's like their choice phrase/question for small talk there. Depending upon my mood, I may be vague or may offer up details. I've never found it intrusive, but I guess I'm just used to it.

Yeah, I find that the people who work at Publix (and some Kroger stores) tend to try to strike up conversations a lot. My kids have all gotten to know someone at the grocery store over time. It's actually nice.

Around here, Publix and Kroger also sometimes hires people who may have disabilities that cause social skills limitations to do the bagging. Some of them might just kind of have a script.

 

[yoopermom]

I was laid up for four months each after two major surgeries, and, living in a rural area, used Amazon for a TON of purchases. In the beginning, my two dogs would bark and growl and throw themselves at the glass door when the UPS guy showed up. Now, they can be sleeping on the other side of it, and won't even twitch in their sleep when he dumps the packages and rings the bell. He said to me one day, "Not such killers anymore huh?" and I didn't worry that he was planning to break into my house, it was just a funny comment. He probably wishes all the dogs on his route were so chill!

Terri

 

[Hrhpd]

This is my first thread ever! I want to know if I am being petty or overreacting. I live in a gated community in a smallish town. We've had the same USPS mail woman for years. She's super nice and efficient. Anyway, I LOVE Amazon Prime. I really do not enjoy going to stores, plus there is nothing in our area. It's at least a 30 minute drive in heavy traffic to get to the nearest Target and the mall is even farther. I probably order things from Amazon 3-4 times a week. Things range from my kids' Halloween costumes to a lid for my pan or whatever exercise supplement my husband is into now. I also order most of our clothing online. The mail lady when I do see her (I avoid her like the plague now) will comment about my getting boxes everyday. When she sees my husband, she will make comments about my getting packages every day! Yesterday he went to get the mail and she said to him 'your wife has no boxes today--wow that's a surprise!" It is seriously starting to bug me! It's not like I am ordering ceramic dolls off of QVC, there are things we need for the home or whatever--and I'm bothered I even have to explain that--I've tried to explain this to her too, which I find ridiculous. I just feel super embarrassed. I was thinking of leaving her a note explaining I am bothered by her comments but I don't want to offend her. How would you handle this? Again, this is a small area and we will probably have this woman for years to come.

Major overreaction!

Just say you have Primenesia. I definitely am a victim.

I also love Amazon Prime. I have a home business, so order a bunch of supplies from Amazon on a weekly basis, along with household items. My husband jokes that we have so many packages coming everyday that it is like Christmas because I occasionally forget that I had ordered something.

Our UPS guy and USPS lady sometimes joke about it too. I laugh right with them. It really is pretty funny when you think about it.

Which brings me to a head scratching question...Do you not have UPS in your town or do they not have permission to enter the gates? 90% of my weekly packages come via UPS and just a few by USPS. I know it is regional, but I am surprised it is not split even a little bit and you get all your packages via USPS. Even the bigger ones?

 

[rwdavis2]

well I dont care, she has no right to make the OP guilty about the amount of mail being delivered and maybe some home truths would make HER embarrassed, see how she likes being made fun of, and actually it is the rise of online shopping which is keeping mail delivery people in jobs now!

I don't think that's the driver's intent at all. OP is a bit too touchy.

 

[dish rag]

I would certainly make conversation back like "oh not much, just doing some errands"- or "seeing A Star is Born Later"- I wouldn't give a blow by blow but I would make conversation back.

But would you ask a com

I would certainly make conversation back like "oh not much, just doing some errands"- or "seeing A Star is Born Later"- I wouldn't give a blow by blow but I would make conversation back.

But would you ask a complete stranger what their plans for the day were?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

The OP has a legitimate gripe. Some people don't mind when others comment on things, other people do. I for one, used to HATE when people would state the obvious - "you must have gotten lot of sun over the weekend!" or "Looks like someone got a haircut!" One is annoying, small talk or not (yes, I KNOW I am sunburned. Believe me.) And the 2nd is seriously my own issue from my childhood when my mom always tried to play beauty shop on my sisters and I and we had to go to school the next day with our new creations (I looked like the boy on the cover of my 3rd grade reading book after one such haircut....totally embarrassing for a 8 year old girl!) I'm still scarred lol, and I hate when attention is brought to my hair. My own issue, I know, and I wouldn't expect people to *not* comment or be mad at them for it, but I really do suffer through the niceties of the conversation and wish the person hadn't said anything.

My dad was a mail carrier for 40 years and when he retired, one of his subdivisions threw him a surprise retirement "party" as he did his last route ever. They lined the streets and had balloons and cards and gifts for him as he went by. It was so sweet - they really became part of his "work family" over the years. I'm sure he small-talked with them often! But he also knew how to take a social cue, and he never commented on people's mail or packages because that is PRIVATE. And my current mail carrier is also the dad of one of DS18's friends/classmates since 5th grade, and we chit chat often about all kinds of things, but I'd be pretty embarrassed if he were to ever bring up the late notices I got from the village for my water bill! It is CLEARLY marked as late, and is bright yellow, so it's totally obvious. (I hate that bill...we only get them quarterly and I always think I have more time to pay!)

IMO, what you get in the mail is "off-limits" to be commented on by the carrier. I'll chit-chat all day, but I don't want to know what s/he thinks about my mail!