I lost my Mother, How will I go on?

[LauraAnn630]

I just lost my 59 year old mother Friday, October 2, 2008 to alzheimer and a blood clot on the brain caused from a shunt that was supposed to help her.

I am never going to get over this.

Jean Seagroves
I love you so much!

Thanks so much for all your prayers!

 

[zalansky]

Oh Laura,
My heart breaks for you. I know this is a devastating time for you and I am so sorry because I know it is very painful. I also know it doesn't seem like you will be able to go on, but you will. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 29 years old, and then my father to cancer last year when I was 38 years old. I was very close to both of my parents and when they passed away it felt like someone ripped out my soul. But I am here and I am ok now, I still miss them and think of them of course, but as time passed I was a little less sad and cried a little less when I think about them - now more often than not I smile when I think of the memories I have with them. You will too, but it will take time. Let yourself grieve. Do you have a husband, kids, other close family members? Let them help you through this difficult time - talk about it as much as you need to. We're here if you need us.

 

[TruBlu]

You are right, you will never get over it. Just know that each day will be a little better than the last. There will be some really sad days, but eventually you will start to remember happy times and smile at the good memories. I know it will not be easy, but the pain will ease with time.

Come here when you need a shoulder to cry on. There are many wonderful people here that are always on your side.

 

[mommasita]

I am sorry on your loss. Wishing and praying for strength

 

[JandJ]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My mom passed 3 years ago, just 4 months before my wedding. My mom was my best friend. I miss her every single day. For the first several months I'd absent mindedly pick up the phone to call her, then just dissolve into tears as the reality hit. Daddy passed in February of this year. He had cancer and was completely bed ridden. DH and I moved him in with us and cared for him the last few months of his life. It was the hardest and best thing I've ever done. I started missing him a long time ago when the cancer and the meds started to take him away, but I treasure the moments of clarity he had with DH and me, and smile when I think about them.

I found a bereavement group at my local Hospice (I volunteer there as well, but not in a patient area). That group really helped. It was just daughters who have lost a parent and it was so helpful to hear others' stories, get support from them and give support to them. A reputable Hospice will not let you join a group this quickly though, but one-on-one counseling is available and it really helps.

You will miss her every day. But every day it will get better too. I know right now it seems like your world is crashing in and you will never feel better, but I promise, just keep going one day at a time, and it will get better.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I am so sorry to read about your Mom, she was taken from you way too young..

It will take time, lots of it and allow yourself the time to grieve. I cannot put a time frame on it, but eventually, you will remember her with beautiful memories that you and her made when she was here.. I never thought I would get over losing my Mom....never, I am at peace with her passing, I think of her everyday with smiles...not tears, and when I look at my grandson I think wouldn't my Mom have just adored him... I say that to his Mom, my daughter, and she agrees Nana would have loved him so.

I think each time we think of her is a good thing.....but you are not there yet.. You have to go through the passage of grieving and we are here to listen to you when you need to talk..

Hugs, and please accept my condolences.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Laura, first to you and your family. I know exactly how you feel. My beautiful 60 year old mother passed away on 8/26/08 from a massive heart attack and I am having a very hard time dealing with it.

I feel so helpless. I was with her when when she sort of spaced out, then collapsed and even though I have some medical background and CPR training, I couldn't do anything for her. I know she was no longer with me, before help arrived, but they were able to revive her, but I lost her 13 hours later and she never regained consciousness. I have beat myself up over it and it does no good. All I could do was keep with her wishes and do what I thought was best. I prayed alot that night, so much more than I would normally have and that helped alot. I also made the decision to donate what I could, which was only her eyes, but found out today that that donation has already help restore sight to 2 people and to me that is the world. I know she lives on through those 2.

Please PM me, if you just need a shoulder.

Suzanne

 

[kimis]

Oh darlin I know what you are feeling. My mom passed almost two years ago from a very fast aggresive cancer. She was my best friend. We would talk on the phone many times a day. I miss her so much! There hasn't been a single day that goes by that I am not thinking of her.
I know she is so much better off where she is but that doesn't always help. I just take it one day at a time.
We all greive different so just take it the way you need to. You will be in my prays.

 

[frdeb1999]

So very sorry for your loss. Your right you'll never get over it completely. But it will slowly get better and easier to deal with. I lost my mom 10 yrs ago and still have moments where I think I need to call her to tell her something. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

 

[Elfstar]

I am so sorry for your loss. Life will never be the same but the pain will ease with time - I lost my mom very suddenly when she was 62. Please accept my sympathies. Come to this board when you need us - sharing your pain among friends is helpful, and everyone here is terrific. Try and find a support group in your area.

 

[LauraAnn630]

Thank you everybody!

Im hurting so bad right now. I know I will get better as time goes on. I know my mom would want me to go on with my life and take good care of myself and family.

It just hurts so darn bad! Its so much worse than I ever could of imagined.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

Thank you everybody!

Im hurting so bad right now. I know I will get better as time goes on. I know my mom would want me to go on with my life and take good care of myself and family.

It just hurts so darn bad! Its so much worse than I ever could of imagined.

I am sorry. I lost my father on the 4th.

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with others that it takes time. Mom's are the sould of the family. It has been 13 years since mine died. I have lots of wonderful memories to comfort me.

I agree with Mackey that my mother would have loved seeing how her grandchildren have grown and her great granddaughter.

Keep posting here. It really helps to talk when you are grieving.

 

[kaffinito]

I really feel for you and your loss. My mom passed away in June of 2008 from a heart attack, and I still miss her very much. My dad is dying (in hospice) right now, and every day he loses more of his life I feel worse and miss my mom more.

It does take time to heal, please don't forget to reach out and connect with others as it does help to share what you are going through. Lots of for you!

 

[LauraAnn630]

Everything reminds me of her. Shes all I think about. As soon as I wake up the very first thing that pops in my head is shes gone. I called the bereavement coordinator and shes helping me find a therapist. I do not want to bring my father, brother, kids and family members down. They need to heal to.
TIA

 

[Elfstar]

I'm glad to hear you're taking care of yourself. Keep it up, you'll be of more help to everyone, including yourself. It's rough but you'll find out how strong you can be.

 

[nannerbadnanner]

Everything reminds me of her. Shes all I think about. As soon as I wake up the very first thing that pops in my head is shes gone. I called the bereavement coordinator and shes helping me find a therapist. I do not want to bring my father, brother, kids and family members down. They need to heal to.
TIA

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in January, and it is so hard. Just know that you don't get over it, but you do get through it. Prayers said for your family.

 

[JandJ]

I'm very glad you will be seeing someone. The best thing that I did was grief counseling. When my mom passed it was 4 months before my wedding so I was very busy - A month after she died I moved into the house DH bought for us; I started a new job 2 days later; was planning a wedding and honeymoon; and I had to get the new house in order - I was too busy to deal with it and I pushed my emotions down. After we got back from our honeymoon and all I wanted to do was tell my mom about the cruise, the countries, the beach, it hit me. Hard. I couldn't deal with all of the emotions and I was taking it out on DH which was completely unfair because he could not have been more supportive. The grief counseling really helped. It gave me an outlet and an understanding person who was trained to help me and knew what to do to help me.

Good luck and God bless - I know it's cliche, but it will get better in time. It's been a little over 3 years for me, I still miss my mom every single day, and all of the feelings were brought up again when Daddy passed in February, but honestly it has gotten better.

 

[doxdogy]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Teacher03]

I'm sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers; it is such a difficult thing to lose your mom at such a young age.