How was your experience with private schools vs public?

[DeeBee3]

I think it's easy to see through the thread that this really depends on the schools, both public and private. I went to religious-affiliated schools my entire life, including college, and no one ever made our science classes anything other than science based. I think someone above mentioned science and math as an issue.

For what it's worth, all of the schools I attended (elementary, high school) were different religions so it didn't matter about that. And university was Jesuit. When I went for my graduate degree at a public university, it was shocking the lack of writing proficiency in a TEACHING program. The professors constantly made comments and actually had to offer a remedial class to get some kids up to snuff. What did the students do when they were undergrads?

My kids have done both public and private.

 

[mom2rtk]

But they still ended up at second-or third-tier state schools, right? I seem to recall UCF and maybe UF?

That’s a pretty judgmental comment. Kids choose schools for a lot of different reasons.

 

[JaxDad]

That’s a pretty judgmental comment. Kids choose schools for a lot of different reasons.

Plus UF is currently ranked as the fifth best public university in the nation by US News and World Report:
https://news.ufl.edu/2021/09/usnwr-ranking-2022/

-Gator Alumnus (ME 1997) and Proud Gator Dad

 

[China Expat]

I started my career teaching and leading in public school, and after 8 years made the jump to a private, college prep boarding school. The differeces were astounding. The curriculum in most college prep schools is truly amazing, especially the emphasis on criticial thinking, inquiry based teaching and learning, and experiential education opportunities. I had more resources, a more extensive budget, and incredibly talented teachers. The students I worked with in my last three boarding schools are now grown and are friends for life. The community in these schools is warm, inclusive, and ripe with meaningful student experiences. I had virtually no discipline incidents or parents harrassing us with their political agendas. It was an amazing change, and I have no regrets. PM me for more info!

 

[Colleen27]

But they still ended up at second-or third-tier state schools, right? I seem to recall UCF and maybe UF?

I'm not sure why that would matter. The point of K-12 education is solid preparation for where ever they end up, not solely to prepare for some elite Ivy League future.

True story time: One of my daughter's friends is a Questbridge Scholar at a major research university. During the application process, she became friends with another girl, two years older, who was the first QS recipient from the community where they both grew up. The first girl went to public school, in the not-very-good district that serves the town. My daughter's friend attended the same private school DD graduated from, on a combination of scholarship and volunteer-work credits because her family could in no way afford the tuition without help. First girl got into an Ivy-caliber school but struggled, had private tutors, retook classes, and took 5.5 years to graduate. DD's friend is graduating with honors in May and has already published as part of a research team, which she's hoping will help her shine on grad school applications. They both got/will get the "prestige" degree from a big-name school, but they definitely had different experiences in the process because of the difference in how well-prepared they were. I think that's true on every level - whether a kid goes to an elite university or a state flagship or a "second tier" public university, their experience will be better if they are prepared for the level of work expected in their courses. And for some families, and in some places, that preparation is better achieved by a private school.

 

[_19disnA]

I think it's easy to see through the thread that this really depends on the schools, both public and private.

I agree. If the OP is trying to help her daughter be more outgoing, I don't think the answer relates to whether a school is public/private. I would encourage her to find something she enjoys and can make friends who have similar interests. Could be sports, theatre, band or some other school clubs.

Ranking of colleges is very subjective/arbitrary and is mostly good for generating publicity by the organization doing the ranking. I think most of those are fairly useless and wouldn't use that as a basis for choosing a college. As an example, if you can't sing/dance or play a musical instrument and no aptitude for such things, then applying to any 'college for the performing arts' would make NO sense regardless of highly 'ranked' they are.

 

[mefordis]

I agree. If the OP is trying to help her daughter be more outgoing, I don't think the answer relates to whether a school is public/private. I would encourage her to find something she enjoys and can make friends who have similar interests. Could be sports, theatre, band or some other school clubs.

Ranking of colleges is very subjective/arbitrary and is mostly good for generating publicity by the organization doing the ranking. I think most of those are fairly useless and wouldn't use that as a basis for choosing a college. As an example, if you can't sing/dance or play a musical instrument and no aptitude for such things, then applying to any 'college for the performing arts' would make NO sense regardless of highly 'ranked' they are.

We are looking at the private schools because I am unhappy with her public school for a variety of reasons. If we could switch her out to another public school we might do that instead but we don't have school choice here.

 

[tvguy]

to observe for what purpose? it certainly wasn't to consider student teaching under her b/c that person would not have met the standards in california almost 40 years ago when i student taught let alone now. not saying the person wasn't a great teacher but credentialing entails so much more than 'just being taught how to teach'. it is not a guarantee of a good teacher but it does ensure that a teacher is educated in (and maintains for current credentialing in many states) awareness of/competency in STATE and FEDERAL mandates for minimum educational standards, state and federal child protection/abuse detection and reporting, learning disability assessment and detection, and a wealth of other subject areas that are vital for both the education and support/protection of students. in my experience it is far easier for a credentialed teacher to opt into the private education sector absent additional education and licensing vs. a private school teacher moving into the public. this may no longer be the case due to drastic teacher shortages in some states but i believe those states are issuing waivers that exempt these new hires from 'meeting minimum educational standards' (not something i wanted for my kids in the public schools let alone in the private where i was paying substantial sums of money for their education).

It most certainly was student teaching. As some of the credentialed teachers in my kids private schools put it, the credential was a legal requirement that did little to make them good teachers.
Really no different than any other profession. My last supervisor before I retired got promoted into that job based on her ability to do the job. The job listed a Bachelors degree as a minimum requirement, and all of the people she was supervising had either a Bachelors or Masters. The supervisor had no college, just a High School Diploma, What she did have was 20 years experience, and a lot of common sense.

 

[Ursula J]

But they still ended up at second-or third-tier state schools, right? I seem to recall UCF and maybe?

Wow, that's rude.

 

[Ursula J]

I'm a mom of a 15 year old who attends a very small private school. She doesn't have a huge social circle, and that's rough. I'm also a 20-year veteran of college teaching, and most of my students attended massive high schools (2000+ students). Many of them graduate without a social circle and find it just as rough. Go with the school community that you most admire and where you see her thriving, but there are people (I was one) who just won't be hugely outgoing no matter the context. Should note, too, that by "thriving," I don't mean status-chasing or test-score-obsessive. I mean actual happiness and intellectual growth.

 

[mefordis]

But they still ended up at second-or third-tier state schools, right? I seem to recall UCF and maybe UF?

Maybe he meant that they are actually doing better in college than those who graduated from public school.

 

[mefordis]

I'm a mom of a 15 year old who attends a very small private school. She doesn't have a huge social circle, and that's rough. I'm also a 20-year veteran of college teaching, and most of my students attended massive high schools (2000+ students). Many of them graduate without a social circle and find it just as rough. Go with the school community that you most admire and where you see her thriving, but there are people (I was one) who just won't be hugely outgoing no matter the context. Should note, too, that by "thriving," I don't mean status-chasing or test-score-obsessive. I mean actual happiness and intellectual growth.

Does she have at least one or two friends who she can hang out with after school?

 

[mousefan73]

As some have posted, it depends. My kids are in public. But growing I only knew kids who transferred from private religious HS to public. Not the other way around. These religious schools had more drug/dicipline issues for some strange reason. But where I grew up, suburban Chicago, the schools in most districts have the money and offer so much.

 

[Ursula J]

Does she have at least one or two friends who she can hang out with after school?

Yes, she does! And she'll be able to do that more once she has her license--the school draws students from all over, so I admit I get a bit tired of back-and-forth trips!

 

[mefordis]

Yes, she does! And she'll be able to do that more once she has her license--the school draws students from all over, so I admit I get a bit tired of back-and-forth trips!

I hear the same thing from other moms about the back and forth. I love the fact the kids are from different towns, though. The teachers are supposed to be excellent: very supportive. I really look forward to that.

 

[Colleen27]

As some have posted, it depends. My kids are in public. But growing I only knew kids who transferred from private religious HS to public. Not the other way around. These religious schools had more drug/dicipline issues for some strange reason. But where I grew up, suburban Chicago, the schools in most districts have the money and offer so much.

It might not be that they had more issues but that they dealt with those issues more harshly. DD's private school was pretty zero-tolerance, and with only one exception I can think of, the kids who left her school to transfer to public were all on the verge of being expelled because of disciplinary concerns (which, at her school, extended in some cases to things that didn't happen at school but still violated the code of conduct). Because official expulsion subjects a student to additional screening when enrolling elsewhere, there's usually an "or else" opportunity to leave voluntarily before it comes to that unless the behavior was very serious, and if you only knew that school based on the kids who end up transferring to public, it would definitely give the impression of the school having more than its fair share of problems.

 

[greeneyedchick]

My oldest has been to Catholic school, 3 public schools, a homeschool co-op, homeschooling and is now in high school at a private school. Her private school has been a wonderful experience! My son is in public high school,so I see the pros and cons of both. Why are they not in the same school you may ask? Every kids is different. What's great for one is not a plus for the other.

My daughter is artsy. She goes to an art-focused, private Christian school. They offer more of the electives that interest her and she's around other kids with similar interest. It's a k-12 school and they lose a lot of kids going into 9th because they don't have many options for sports teams.

What I love is that she is close with all of her teachers. They're not just educators, but friends to her. Because it's a smaller school, she has flexibility. They pay for and encourage her to take a lot of duel enrollment classes at the local state college. She'll have 1.5 years of college completed when she starts college next year. If she needs to take an online class (Florida has offered free, public online classes for years before covid), they let her. If we want to take vacations during school time, they are fine with it. They understand that education happens everywhere, not just a classroom. The school shares the same educational philosophy as I do. That's important because I find myself disagreeing with some of the approaches in public school (i.e. I don't believe in lots of homework or busy work. I'm not a big fan of tons of standardized tests. I hate that kids are treated like prisoners and have little freedom in public schools).

My daughter's private school is on the more affordable side. Lots of kids are there on vouchers or financial aid scholarships. There are kids who have new Air Jordans and a lot of them seem to have the latest phones. Outside of that, we don't find the kids to be snotty, nor do we find the parents to be obnoxious. However, I think that that's due to her particular private school, not all private schools.

Another aspect is that we aren't very religious, so my daughter does get upset about some of the teachings that she hears during required Bible classes. She tries to be respectful and not let it get to her personally.

The down sides to private are the lack of sports and extracurricular clubs and lack of class offerings. My son's high school has a variety of clubs and offers more AP classes, advanced math classes and electives. The small size of a private school is also limiting if your child doesn't fit in with the other students. My daughter complains that there is no one to date and she had a falling out with her friends. My son's school has 3,000 kids so everyone can find a group of friends that shares a common interest.

A big plus for public school, it's free! College is insanely expensive. There has to be a compelling reason to spend it before then. As for the public school preparing my son for college, I actually feel like the public school is more academically rigorous. The down side is that they waste more time on busy work and standardized testing that are 30% of their grade every 9 weeks (Florida law). At his school, they don't want to pay for duel enrollment. You have to do a lot of advocating to have them agree. They have lots of rules about absenteeism and you can't drop off a forgotten lunch or leave within a hour of school ending (if you have a doctor's appt. or something). Overall, my son's teachers seem to care. They just don't have the time to socialize with the students or even create their own tests because the county mandates what they must teach every day.

Another pro/ con involves whether you child has special needs. Mine have dyslexia, dysgraphia, anxiety and ADHD. The private school put together a nice 504 plan and helped us get it approved by the College Board for the SAT. The teachers all know her plan and are mostly accommodating. To get any help for my son in public school, it's a long process of meetings with counselors who tell me that my son doesn't need the things the neuropsychologist suggested because his teachers don't feel it's an issue. His teachers were not even aware of his 504 plan when I emailed them at the start of the new year. He doesn't have the same accommodations for the SAT even though he should. The bureaucracy of a public school can be frustrating.

At the end of the day, my son loves his school and has no desire to go to my daughter's private school. My daughter, who is easily overwhelmed by crowds and noise, can't imagine going to a school with thousands of kids and would probably homeschool before going to a public high school. My 3rd is currently homeschooling for middle school (I did that with all 3 and highly recommend it. Saves you a lot of drama and most of what they "learn" during that time is a review of what they learned in elementary or things that they will learn again in high school.) I'm not sure which would be the best option for him yet. I plan to let him decide.

Sorry for the lengthy response: The short answer is...if you can afford it, you then need to consider whether the particular private school is a good fit for your child and does it offer more value than what the public school would offer? Does it fit with the child's learning style and your educational values? Is it going to be a bunch of rich, spoiled kids (check out www.niche.com to get honest opinions on schools). Are they going to put a ton of pressure on you child regarding college applications? Kids don't need that stress and the private schools don't have magic powers for getting your kid into a particular college (that's a whole other rant I could go on). A lot of college prep schools prepare students by assigning them copious amounts of work and requiring that they take all AP classes. It's not necessary. Honestly ,my daughter's college classes are easier and less work than AP. And some people don't realize that your child can take the AP exams without having to take the course. If you have a studious kid, they can use Kahn Academy and study guides to prepare for the tests.

A final note...Don't feel that it's an all or none decision. If you child tries private school and hates it, you can always switch to public-even mid-year. And vice-versa, if the private school has an opening. All 3 of my kids actually prefer starting school mid-year rather than at the beginning (they hate the first few weeks where the teacher spends time explaining how to organize notebooks and class rules-they would rather jump right in). It's not as hard as people think. Good luck with your decision.

 

[NotUrsula]

But they still ended up at second-or third-tier state schools, right? I seem to recall UCF and maybe UF?

Good grief, what a thing to say. There is absolutely *nothing* to be ashamed of in attending a state school, especially in Florida where several of the state schools are excellent and an incredible bargain, even if you don't count Bright Futures. (FWIW, my DS went to USF. Even with paying out of state tuition, it cost us less than our state flagship would have.)

There are only a very few professions (or even subsets of professions) where your choice of undergrad school really has much of a long-term effect on your career prospects, as long as the program you choose is decently rigorous. The big-name private schools do more for your connections, but if you are not in the kind of profession where connections are super-important, then a school like that is often a serious waste of money.

For instance, you can study Social Work at Columbia, but why would you unless you had a full scholarship? If that's what you want to do, you're better off studying it at the least expensive decent-quality school you can find, because it's a notoriously low-paid pink collar profession. Important job? Absolutely. Does it have the ROI to make paying for Columbia worthwhile? Almost never, unless your true goal is to become a college professor in a school of social work. Same goes for nursing and K-12 education: study near where you want to live, because the school districts and hospitals have hiring pipelines in the regional schools.

 

[tvguy]

The down sides to private are the lack of sports and extracurricular clubs and lack of class offerings. My son's high school has a variety of clubs and offers more AP classes, advanced math classes and electives. The small size of a private school is also limiting if your child doesn't fit in with the other students. My daughter complains that there is no one to date and she had a falling out with her friends. My son's school has 3,000 kids so everyone can find a group of friends that shares a common interest.

My kids private high school has 1,100 students, smaller than the 1,900 students their assigned public high school has, but big enough that they had the full slate of sports and extracurricular clubs. And very competitive sports teams at that.

 

[NotUrsula]

IME, many of the more expensive private schools tend to have very extensive sports programs, and facilities that are often on-par with mid-sized college campuses. Several of the ones I'm familiar with have onsite tennis courts, natatoriums, indoor running tracks, large well-lighted outdoor stadiums, and incredibly well-stocked training facilities with every possible type of weight and cardio machine, and sometimes on-site therapy pools, too.

It's different if the school has a particular special focus that leaves little time for sports, such as music or the arts, but for general college prep, a well-funded private school will usually have a fairly extensive sports presence. At least one of the local ones here actually requires every student to compete on at least one school team.