LongLiveRafiki
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2017
I'm sorry about what you're going through and I sort of get how it feels when people assume things because they assume or afraid to ask if you can or can't do anything.
My friends and I do get together like at houses to watch sports or at sports bars. But, outside of watching something I don't get invited to anything that isn't wheelchair friendly not even to watch. I do have online friends who are also in wheelchairs and have spinal cord injuries and one of them does get invited to at least watch sporting events that her abled bodied friends are involved in. My friends never make that offer for some of their day rafting trips which usually end at rest areas where I could watch them come in from my chair.
Like I mentioned, sometimes I think people just aren't really aware of what you CAN do and don't want to make you feel bad by inviting you to something you might not be able to fully do. I think most times people have their heart in the right place by not wanting to hurt someone with a disability by inviting them to something they can't participate in, but don't quite realize that oftentimes we just want to be included, even if we can't fully participate.
I know you feel awkward asking, but for something like this, I think it can be helpful to assert yourself a little. Maybe something like, "Hey, I saw your photos online of your rafting trip and it looked like a lot of fun! I'd love to watch something like that from the sidelines." With that, you aren't inviting yourself, but you're letting them know that it is something you could be included in and would enjoy AND that you wouldn't feel hurt watching from the sidelines rather than actually being on the raft.
What are some things that you enjoy doing? Do you try inviting others to do those things with you? Between opening the communication a little by mentioning things you'd enjoy (like watching the rafting as mentioned above) and inviting others out to do things that YOU plan, it will help them to learn more about what you CAN do and hopefully get you doing more things with people. Often people just don't quite realize *how* to include someone with a disability unless you speak up.