DDA Chapter 5

[Tammi67]

Good morning.

We are supposed to get that wicked weather today. In the 60s but lots of rain. They have issued a flood watch for our area.

 

[PrincessLeighsDaddy]

Good Morning DDA!

So now we're on Chapter 5!

Lots of to everyone!

Amy, sorry about Matty!

Leighanna fell off of her sit and spin with me less than 2 feet from her. Unfortunately her face landed on an opened dresser drawer!

That's what I get for trying to put laundry away.

Needless to say the sit and spin got "put away" after that incident!

Have a great day all! And try to stay dry!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Good morning everyone--have a great day!

 

[tink2020]

Debbie - to answer your question on chapter closings, the locking part is up to the moderator. Since Baloo isn't always around to do so, I think we're just kind of operating on the honor system on the DDA. About the time 250 rolls around, we're just starting the next chapter. I don't know how it's working on other areas of the DIS, but I'd guess the moderators lock it at 250.

I have seen other threads where the WMs actually make a post, close the thread and start the new one. It's never at exactly 250, so they might get to us eventually. It's probably less confusing though to just keep doing it this way!

Hi!

Kevin had the internet shut down for most of the weekend, hooking up our new computer. I finally got caught up today, but now with the start of the new thread, I'm going to "cheat" and send and to you all.

Matty got his fingers caught in the door at our community center this morning. I was RIGHT THERE. I had moved his hand, but he moved again, and now he has blood blisters around the tips of his ring and pinkie fingers. It just set a "blah" tone to my Monday, and I felt like the crappiest mommy every time he said "boo boo" today.

Amy

I'm so sorry I just pop in for 2 seconds at a time without acknowledging everyone. I am EXTREMELY overwhelmed at work (as usual, considering I still don't have any help). I am now dragging it all home, dragging it into my pregnancy (which is only fair actually, since it's playing a direct role on how I'm eating, drinking, sleeping, etc), dragging it into my potential skills as a mother....... ugh. Needless to say it has the household in quite a tizzy.

I know I've alluded to these things here, but the problem is that I am singly responsible for the accreditation of our agency with Ohio govt bodies, Federal govt bodies, our accrediting body, Medicaid and Medicare, etc. Just me. Me and my RN license and my future, responsible for countless clients, staff members and our local portion of a 2 billion dollar a year company. It's a job I totally thrived in before, and could still do well, but I have 2 little lives to take care of (plus my big life, which is SERIOUSLY neglected). I have "cut back" to 45ish hours, which is still too much with everything else going on, but this leaves a major problem -- I am putting all of us, and my livelihood, at risk by leaving lots of important tasks for "the next day" (which often turns into 2+ weeks of non-compliance).

I feel like it's such a catch 22. There is no doubt in my mind that myself and these babies have to take priority, and I don't care what anyone really has to say about that .... but I also have a lot of responsibility that, while my name is still on all of these things as director/administrator/board member/whatever, I simply cannot let go.

This, of course, leads me to the prospect of leaving my job early. I have brought my concerns to Maxim and they, maybe just because they are men , are extremely hypocritical, no matter how inadvertent. In the same breath, they freak out about me possibly going on bedrest, not taking care of myself and the babies, etc and then pile more on and expect me to work longer hours. I'm thinking they don't sense that work and our well-being are tightly related.

So fine. Kyle and I talk, make a decision to tell them I'm finished working in May. Aside from financially (which, honestly, I know always works out one way or another), I'm thrilled with this prospect. It will (hopefully) give me a little time to myself to actually clean the house once before the babies come and we destroy them with how filthy it is (trust me -- I'm not complaining about laundry, or "stuff" lying around .... you all will just tell me that won't change I'm talking it's not fit for an adult to live in, let alone 2 pre-term infants).

But then I realize I will be 30 weeks along at that point, probably measuring "45 weeks" and more uncomfortable than I can imagine right now. I'm still feeling insanely overwhelmed with how to balance work UNTIL that point (because, as I said, I'll still be held accountable). I'm more overwhelmed because a) it's less time to train my "designee" for while I'm gone (don't get me started on her.... I knew she wasn't going to work out from the beginning, but nobody listened to me ). It's going to cause a huge rift, however temporary, in the working relationship I have with Eric because he is panicking, and maybe rightfully so since he didn't hire an adequate replacement (and/or help along the way).

And then there's the possibility that I won't even make it that long.... in which case, I want to leave even earlier!


I know this might seem petty. I haven't done a very good job of explaining the crap I've put myself through over all of this, but those are the surface details. If you are anything like me, you can extrapolate how this is making me feel as a wife, as the mother of these baby girls, etc.


*sigh* Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I might not be around much more until I can get this straightened out (in my head, that is). My task list is so daunting right now at work, that when I eventually make it home I just sit and marvel on the couch at how much I still have to do and how the heck I'm going to manage. I worry nonstop about the 7 auditors that are due to walk in at any minute (we might be down to 6... I can't keep track) that could shut us down and/or cost me my job. Unhealthy, yes, but it's what I'm up to these days I'm working on snapping out of it though, and then I'll be a better DDA member . At least in less than 2 weeks, Kyle is off of his horrific schedule and can help out more, too, especially emotionally. He's on vacation then. I'm supposed to be taking some as well, but I have a hard time justifying that.

Until then, take care! I'll keep up the best I can, and look for welcome breaks when I allow myself to spend some time here!

 

[PNO4TE]

Good morning, DDA!

 

[PNO4TE]

Jennifer -- we know you will be back when you have the time to be here. I can only begin to imagine the stress you are having to handle. All we ask is that you take care of yourself first. You know all this, but because I care it has to be said. I speak from experience, as do many others on here, I am certain!

You are an integral part of a team. A team is supposed to work together to reach a goal and your team will reach that goal eventually, with or without your help. It is the way it is. Every time I thought my work or homelife would fall down around me if I didn't get things done, Someone Somehow Someway got it done. It may not have been done the way I would personally have completed the task, but it did get done. The outcome may have been different than if I had done it, but it did get done.

Like Julie, I had preeclampsia when I was pregnant with Kathrin. I was the only music teacher for two very large schools and we were preparing our Fine Arts Festival, for which I was the chair. I was put on complete bedrest with no warning and could not go back to work to do anything to prepare them. They managed to get through the Fine Arts Festival with a shortened program and my sub was miraculously able to write her own lesson plans. They were not what I would have taught, but it wasn't me doing the teaching. It took a little while for me to realize that they could do it without me and I had to let it go and let them do it. It was a wonderful lesson for me to learn at the ripe old age of 27. (I have to admit that I still have to take a refresher course occasionally.)

I am not preaching at you; I am not your mother. But, even without a detailed explanation from you, I bet nearly all of us have been in your shoes. We are a pretty dedicated group here and have handled situations like yours many times. That doesn't make it any less stressful and most probably doesn't answer your individual need for assitance, but I want you to know that the work will get done and those beautiful babies will come and the house will be ready. You will get it done, or Kyle will, or your Mom and sister will, or Someone Somehow Someway will get it done. For some unknown reason life happens that way.

The point to all this rambling is to say, we have been in your shoes and know how tough it is. And we also know you are tough and will handle it. Just be very careful of you in the process.


(Mothering over)

 

[tinknme]

Good morning

 

[PNO4TE]

Good morning

Hi, Janet!

 

[tinknme]

Hi Elin!

Hi, Janet!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I was blown away by the technical aspects of some of the videos, but I thought this was open to everyone, not just those that can make high tech videos I'm glad I didn't waste my time trying to make one.

I am happy to say that I have completely ignored every aspect of this contest. I haven't opened a single thread about it, haven't watched any of the videos, and I am fine with that. It would just aggravate me.

Deb, I think DS is willing to take the hit on his grade and leave the board the way he had it. It really would look terrible if he colored the spaces, and without seeing it there is no way the teacher could understand that. I guess we'll find out!

Hi!

Kevin had the internet shut down for most of the weekend, hooking up our new computer. I finally got caught up today, but now with the start of the new thread, I'm going to "cheat" and send and to you all.

Matty got his fingers caught in the door at our community center this morning. I was RIGHT THERE. I had moved his hand, but he moved again, and now he has blood blisters around the tips of his ring and pinkie fingers. It just set a "blah" tone to my Monday, and I felt like the crappiest mommy every time he said "boo boo" today.

Amy

You are NOT a bad mommy! Accidents happen!

before I go... from the old thread:

I thought all the beds at BC WERE queens? (except for the very few kings)

Not ALL. There are several room that due to the way the room is shaped the sq. footage is lower. Those rooms have double beds. I was reading it in a thread yesterday and the CM confirmed that there are rooms with double beds, but not very many. Because i tend to have bad luck I added the request.

Good Morning,

The weather was pretty rough last night but seems calm now, it's off to work for me.

Have a good day, Debbie!

Jennifer - Not to trivialize your job, but it's a job. The higher-ups who are responsible for overseeing that facility have NO CHOICE but to figure out what to do if you leave. Unless you have some sort of binding contract that mandates you to stay in that position or face legal action you can walk out tomorrow and be done with it. I know lots of jobs tend to convince the employees that they are personally responsible for the success or failure of the entire venture. But that's not true. How many times have you seen a company fold because an employee resigned? Somebody else will pick up the slack if you leave. Really, they will. As long as you are even semi-functional in your job it will remain YOUR responsibility. You aren't going to return to that job when your babies are 6 weeks old. If you go back to work in the future and they refuse to give you a good reference you can explain to a new employer that the stress was taking a toll on your health and it was necessary to step down. End of story. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you are personally responsible for things at work. It may be in your job description, but there are other people who are responsible for making sure your job is getting done. It is a job. If they decided you weren't doing what they needed you to do they would fire you and replace you wihtout a second thought. That's business. If they are putting your babies at risk you can quit (essentially firing THEM). They can't MAKE you stay and train your replacement and all that stuff. In reality it is NOT your problem, it's theirs.
I hope you understand what I am getting at.

 

[tmfranlk]

I know this might seem petty. I haven't done a very good job of explaining the crap I've put myself through over all of this, but those are the surface details. If you are anything like me, you can extrapolate how this is making me feel as a wife, as the mother of these baby girls, etc.

Not petty at all! It sounds like some very big stuff and important stuff that you alone are in charge of. It sounds like more than any single person, let alone any single-carrying two children-underrested person, should have to do alone. It just seems to me that the future of an organization should never rest on one person no matter who they are if for no other reason than things come up - illnesses, personal matter, etc - and there should be a back up to cover the pertinent responsbilities.

I'm glad that you have an end in sight. I think that it will help you to know it's coming and will help them to be preparing for that fact. Otherwise, they could just continue to "hope" you wouldn't leave except to actually deliver without preparing for the fact that you will be leaving. I hope that your designee ends up working out better than you are expecting or that they can bring in someone else either in replacement or in addition.

Come and vent all you want. We're here for you and want you to be able to release some of the pressure. I'm glad that Kyle will be off soon for a vacation. I think that you should really take at least a couple of days off with him. I'll bet it would do you both a world of good. Take care of yourselves.

 

[mommykds]

Jennifer,
I agree with Elin & Elizabeth. I had the same situation happen when I was pregnant with Katie. I was put on bedrest/early leave due to high blood pressure. There was no notice, I was just told by my dr I had to stop working right there & then. I had alot of things to juggle at work & was the head of the billing & budgeting dept. Alot of the things I did were in my head & not writtem down so I worried that things would not get done. But they did get done (again like Elin said) not the way I would do them but they did get done & life at the company did not come to a standstill.

Your health & the babies health are number 1. The goings on at work will do just that...go on. Do not let it stress you because it will be fine.

 

[PNO4TE]

Not ALL. There are several room that due to the way the room is shaped the sq. footage is lower. Those rooms have double beds. I was reading it in a thread yesterday and the CM confirmed that there are rooms with double beds, but not very many. Because i tend to have bad luck I added the request.

I did not know that! YAY! I learned something new here today. Thanks, Elizabeth.

 

[Tammi67]

Jennifer - I will add to what everyone else has said. You worry about you, not work. There is some poem going around somewhere about how it won't matter what clothes you wore, what accomplishments you had at work, how much money you made....what matters is that you were important to the life of a child. In your case, two. I can honestly say, after 20 years of working, that my job falls far behind my kids and family. All I am here is a body. When I'm gone, someone else will come in and do the same thing I do, things will get accomplished, nothing will fall to ruin. And it will be like I was never here.

 

[tmfranlk]

Good morning, DDA! So far we have very little snow, though it is a snowday. Supposedly there's still worsening conditions to come, but they've been saying that all night. Oh well, hopefully this will be the last of it and the kids won't have to give up vacation days over a couple of non-productive snowdays.

 

[KMH1]

Good Morning DDA!

So now we're on Chapter 5!

Lots of to everyone!

Amy, sorry about Matty!

Leighanna fell off of her sit and spin with me less than 2 feet from her. Unfortunately her face landed on an opened dresser drawer!

That's what I get for trying to put laundry away.

Needless to say the sit and spin got "put away" after that incident!

Have a great day all! And try to stay dry!

You are NOT a bad mommy! Accidents happen!

Thanks Tom and Elizabeth. It was just a crummy day, and it didn't help that my next door neighbor's (who works at the community center) "words of comfort" were, "He could have gotten his fingers chopped off!" Sheesh!

One of my friends was sliding down a spiral slide with her two-year-old, and the toddler's leg got caught up on a turn. He ended up with a broken leg! Talk about mommy guilt!

Until then, take care! I'll keep up the best I can, and look for welcome breaks when I allow myself to spend some time here!

Jen, you have to lower your expectations. No matter how SUPER we want to be in all aspects of our lives, it's impossible. You have to look out for you...no one else is going to do that!

You know my stories, and you're getting some super advice from the DDA. Please take care of yourself!

 

[tink2020]

Edit: I am thinking maybe I wasn't entirely clear, which is always quite possible when I'm ranting


Elin, Elizabeth, Amy and Tammi, thank you for your empathy and encouragement. I couldn't agree more with you about the company not NEEDING me to survive. I felt that way, and still do at times (on particularly busy days), but truthfully I am so burnt out that - nice or not - I couldn't care less if they stay afloat! A), they will just fine with or without me, and B) I just plain don't care about their success.

That is to say, I couldn't care less.... ONCE my name is off of the licenses, etc. While it's there, I am responsible and have my own license, etc to worry about. It's really not about them at all, it's entirely about me and my family. I don't know if I'll work another day in my life after these babies come (I most likely will), but if I am going to, I need to not have issues with the board of nursing that provides my license, etc. That's really the bigger deal. Regardless of whether I work with this company or another, I have responsibilities to the state by being an RN that I have to protect as well. Losing my license or being named in lawsuits, etc wouldn't bode well for my future

Unfortunately, my concerns are brought upon not because of anyone I work with, or even any situation I might leave "undone" at work... but because I have to cover my own butt through all of this.

I'm not sure if that makes a lot of sense, or if I'm succeeding yet at explaining the situation..

 

[tink2020]

Not petty at all! It sounds like some very big stuff and important stuff that you alone are in charge of. It sounds like more than any single person, let alone any single-carrying two children-underrested person, should have to do alone. It just seems to me that the future of an organization should never rest on one person no matter who they are if for no other reason than things come up - illnesses, personal matter, etc - and there should be a back up to cover the pertinent responsbilities.

I'm glad that you have an end in sight. I think that it will help you to know it's coming and will help them to be preparing for that fact. Otherwise, they could just continue to "hope" you wouldn't leave except to actually deliver without preparing for the fact that you will be leaving. I hope that your designee ends up working out better than you are expecting or that they can bring in someone else either in replacement or in addition.

Come and vent all you want. We're here for you and want you to be able to release some of the pressure. I'm glad that Kyle will be off soon for a vacation. I think that you should really take at least a couple of days off with him. I'll bet it would do you both a world of good. Take care of yourselves.

Ahh, yes. Therein lies the problem. You are absolutely right and the entire situation would be very different if they had the proper backups! Unfortunately, our division is still the step-child of the organization, and we often get overlooked!

 

[tmfranlk]

Ahh, yes. Therein lies the problem. You are absolutely right and the entire situation would be very different if they had the proper backups! Unfortunately, our division is still the step-child of the organization, and we often get overlooked!

Well, then I hope that it isn't long before your name is off of the license. Will that come in May or before?

 

[PNO4TE]

Edit: I am thinking maybe I wasn't entirely clear, which is always quite possible when I'm ranting


Elin, Elizabeth, Amy and Tammi, thank you for your empathy and encouragement. I couldn't agree more with you about the company not NEEDING me to survive. I felt that way, and still do at times (on particularly busy days), but truthfully I am so burnt out that - nice or not - I couldn't care less if they stay afloat! A), they will just fine with or without me, and B) I just plain don't care about their success.

That is to say, I couldn't care less.... ONCE my name is off of the licenses, etc. While it's there, I am responsible and have my own license, etc to worry about. It's really not about them at all, it's entirely about me and my family. I don't know if I'll work another day in my life after these babies come (I most likely will), but if I am going to, I need to not have issues with the board of nursing that provides my license, etc. That's really the bigger deal. Regardless of whether I work with this company or another, I have responsibilities to the state by being an RN that I have to protect as well. Losing my license or being named in lawsuits, etc wouldn't bode well for my future

Unfortunately, my concerns are brought upon not because of anyone I work with, or even any situation I might leave "undone" at work... but because I have to cover my own butt through all of this.

I'm not sure if that makes a lot of sense, or if I'm succeeding yet at explaining the situation..

Ahh, yes. Therein lies the problem. You are absolutely right and the entire situation would be very different if they had the proper backups! Unfortunately, our division is still the step-child of the organization, and we often get overlooked!

You explained your situation very clearly, Jennifer. And I can understand your concerns on the issue of your reputation and licensing. Cover your butt and get the h e l l out of Dodge, my dear!