Son says he needs to cut his long hair for job

[tzolkin]

Personally I love the idea of kids dressing up for any job, even a grocery store. It teaches a lot about being an adult, being respectful to your clients, your employer and yourself. I know I sound like an old lady but kids today don’t seem to think rules apply to them. It’s good to learn how the adult world works as early as possible.

But many wouldn’t view a male having long hair to be contrary to “how the adult world works” or not dressing up for work. I know many men with various long hairstyles who are successful professionals and very well dressed. My husband is highly respected in his field, articulate, and always dressed professionally but he has long hair and beard.

Hairstyles have changed drastically from one decade or generation to another. So I think it only makes sense that a well dressed man with a neatly kept haircut in a modern style would be considered just as professional as someone with a more traditional cut.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

If you accept the job, you accept the rules.

^^^This^^^

 

[Suz333]

If he chooses to accept the job and cut his hair, maybe it’s long enough to donate to Locks of Love or a similar organization?

 

[iuki]

If he wants to fight it, he can try, but he’ll likely lose his job in the process. Making men cut their hair but not women can be considered gender discrimination. He can contact an employment attorney to see what advice they have. If he really doesn’t want to cut his hair, then another job might be wise.

IMHO, even if he won, other businesses will avoid him like the plague. It’ll be difficult for him to find employment. Employers will be afraid that he’ll file a lawsuit for anything he doesn’t like or want to do. Like you said, he’ll likely lose his job in the process, but he’ll also have difficulty finding another job. JMO.

 

[VandVsmama]

I'm definitely in the camp of "suck it up, buttercup." Anybody who doesn't like the rules at a place of employment can work elsewhere or start their own business and make their own rules. If the business requires dudes to have their hair cut and the applicant doesn't like it? Go work at Starbucks instead.

For example, I'd rather wear flip flops to work every day, but guess what? Not allowed. Must wear closed toe shoes to work. I'd also like to be able to wear yoga pants to work. Not allowed. In some jobs where I work, you cannot have acrylic nails. Oh, you don't like that rule? That's fine, then you won't be working there in that particular role.

 

[gmi3804]

The Venn Diagram of those who think he shouldn’t have to cut his hair and those who ask if they can wear theme park clothes to Topolino’s is probably a solid circle.

 

[DisneyOma]

If he wants to work there, then he has to abide by its dress code regardless of whether or not he agrees with it. So since employment there requires short hair, then if he is going to work there, then short hair is required.

If he wants to keep his long hair, then he needs to find a different job elsewhere.

It's as simple as that. Tell him "Welcome to Adulting 101."

Where do you draw the line about who gets hired by appearance? What if the grocery store said someone was too fat? Or their skin color was too dark? Where does "Welcome to Adulting 101" fit into those scenarios?

If he were my son, I’d just shrug and say…you want the job, you gotta meet their requirements. You don’t say how old he is but assuming you don’t care, he should make the Decision himself. If he makes the wrong choice, it’s on him.

Personally I love the idea of kids dressing up for any job, even a grocery store. It teaches a lot about being an adult, being respectful to your clients, your employer and yourself. I know I sound like an old lady but kids today don’t seem to think rules apply to them. It’s good to learn how the adult world works as early as possible.

Gee, that was said about the kids in the late 60's and early 70's as well, LOL!

Might be a Health Code requirement. But there are plenty of other jobs if he doesn't wish to comply with the dress code.

Health code is just that the hair must be tied back, or under a hair net. Otherwise, every person would have to have the same short hair. no matter what gender they identify as.

I'm definitely in the camp of "suck it up, buttercup." Anybody who doesn't like the rules at a place of employment can work elsewhere or start their own business and make their own rules. If the business requires dudes to have their hair cut and the applicant doesn't like it? Go work at Starbucks instead.

For example, I'd rather wear flip flops to work every day, but guess what? Not allowed. Must wear closed toe shoes to work. I'd also like to be able to wear yoga pants to work. Not allowed. In some jobs where I work, you cannot have acrylic nails. Oh, you don't like that rule? That's fine, then you won't be working there in that particular role.

You listed some safety issues, which are totally different from a haircut. If the rest are just dress code set up by management, then they are a controlling group of jerks, IMO. I'm so glad my place of employment just requires us to have particular body parts covered.

 

[winterwhite]

Where do you draw the line about who gets hired by appearance? What if the grocery store said someone was too fat? Or their skin color was too dark? Where does "Welcome to Adulting 101" fit into those scenarios?

Gee, that was said about the kids in the late 60's and early 70's as well, LOL!

Health code is just that the hair must be tied back, or under a hair net. Otherwise, every person would have to have the same short hair. no matter what gender they identify as.

You listed some safety issues, which are totally different from a haircut. If the rest are just dress code set up by management, then they are a controlling group of jerks, IMO. I'm so glad my place of employment just requires us to have particular body parts covered.

I work an executive job and my place of employment requires us to dress to the standard of the client we’re working with. Thus you have to be prepared to wear anything from business casual to business formal if you are client facing here.

I can tell you that on our roster, outside of banking, most workplaces are business casual. That means no jeans, leggings, or t shirts. There are still many, mostly in financial services and law, that require suits and ties for men with skirts, hose, and heels for women. Of course you don’t have to work there, but it’s still standard in some industries.

I personally am glad for companies who require their employees to at least attempt to dress professionally. You’d be very surprised how literally people are willing to take “some body parts covered.”

 

[DisneyOma]

I work an executive job and my place of employment requires us to dress to the standard of the client we’re working with. Thus you have to be prepared to wear anything from business casual to business formal if you are client facing here.

I can tell you that on our roster, outside of banking, most workplaces are business casual. That means no jeans, leggings, or t shirts. There are still many, mostly in financial services and law, that require suits and ties for men with skirts, hose, and heels for women. Of course you don’t have to work there, but it’s still standard in some industries.

I personally am glad for companies who require their employees to at least attempt to dress professionally. You’d be very surprised how literally people are willing to take “some body parts covered.”

Women can't wear pants? Huge red flag for me there - this is 2022, not 1952. That whole "professional" dress thing is boloney to be though. Ties are stupid, skirts only for women is sexist, and I'd rather have the best lawyer in jeans and a t-shirt than a mediocre one in a suit.

 

[winterwhite]

Women can't wear pants? Huge red flag for me there - this is 2022, not 1952. That whole "professional" dress thing is boloney to be though. Ties are stupid, skirts only for women is sexist, and I'd rather have the best lawyer in jeans and a t-shirt than a mediocre one in a suit.

Well, that’s fine, and I’m sure your local lawyer probably wears jeans and a t shirt, but it is still the standard in large corporate law offices and in finance.

You’re free to make your corporate choices how you see fit. I don’t think a parent should advise a child to limit where they work over their hair while they’re getting experience learning what does/doesn’t work for them in a job role, but I’m generally against parents forcing their preferences on children whether those preferences are more or less conservative. He’s old enough to make his own decision and especially about something so inconsequential as hair.

By the way my local grocery store chain doesn’t allow unnatural hair colors (no blue, pink, etc) and everyone wears white button down shirts and black pants. This is a very liberal/hippie area, and they still choose to do that.

 

[fla4fun]

I think it should be left up to the son. His friends work there, so he is unlikely to be ostracized by his peer group for getting a haircut since they would all need to follow the same rules. Also, it’s just hair and just a part time job. He may find he likes short hair, and if not, it will grow back. He may find he really likes the job, and doesn’t see losing the long hair as a sacrifice. He is the one who will live with the decision, and since it’s not really a life altering one, I think the parents should allow him to make it on his own. For what it’s worth, I have been making my own decisions regarding my hair styles since I was in elementary school.

 

[kymom99]

My family went to private schools, so the no long hair rule doesn’t really faze me. Don’t like it, don’t go to school there. Don’t like it, don’t work there.

 

[kymom99]

IMHO, even if he won, other businesses will avoid him like the plague. It’ll be difficult for him to find employment. Employers will be afraid that he’ll file a lawsuit for anything he doesn’t like or want to do. Like you said, he’ll likely lose his job in the process, but he’ll also have difficulty finding another job. JMO.

Thats a bit of a stretch at his employment level.

 

[sam_gordon]

Where do you draw the line about who gets hired by appearance? What if the grocery store said someone was too fat? Or their skin color was too dark? Where does "Welcome to Adulting 101" fit into those scenarios?

That's totally up to the business. As long as the "line" doesn't cross the EEOC laws, they can make whatever rules they want.

Everyone here is fine with the limits the DIS puts on us (no politics, religion, personal attacks, etc). You don't see (ok, maybe rarely) complaints about "free speech" or suggestions on how to get around it. Does Disney still have "appearance" rules for their employees? Heck, Disney (probably many businesses) have dress codes for their CUSTOMERS. Don't believe me? Try walking into MK with a cuss word (or words) on a shirt. Or wear a costume as an adult.

The answer to the OP is very easy. You advise the teen if he wants the job, he gets his hair cut. If he wants to keep his hair, he looks for another job. He's a teenager. He can make that choice.

 

[kanerf]

Welcome to the World of Work. We all have to do things that we don't necessarily agree with, but that management requires.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would leave the decision entirely up to him. If you try to advise, he would probably end up resenting you for it.

I believe the bottom line is, if he wants to work there he has to abide by their rules. However, nobody is forcing him to work there. I suppose it would be fun to work with his friends and all, but I am sure that is not the only place to work. I would imagine if he wanted a job, he could find a different one before the sun sets tonight. I would imagine most other places would let him keep his hair as well.

 

[slo]

I’m definitely part of the group that says your son needs to follow the employers dress code.
Their business - their rules.
Your son doesn’t have to agree with these rules - that’s ok - he can get a job somewhere else that’s ok with his hair length. In the end he needs to decide what’s more important to him - his hair length or working with his friends.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

For example, I'd rather wear flip flops to work every day, but guess what? Not allowed. Must wear closed toe shoes to work. I'd also like to be able to wear yoga pants to work. Not allowed. In some jobs where I work, you cannot have acrylic nails. Oh, you don't like that rule? That's fine, then you won't be working there in that particular role.

I’m fine with that also (it’s their business and I don’t have to work there) but I’m a bit jaded from hearing “people just don’t want to work anymore.” Employers should not be surprised they have to pay more to get employees when they restrict their hiring pool. Basic supply and demand.

I’ve watched my industry (which is not customer facing) gradually relax dress codes over time. It’s a bit ironic because my part time job in college had a more strict dress code than I have ever experienced in my career.

 

[Moliphino]

I’m fine with that also (it’s their business and I don’t have to work there) but I’m a bit jaded from hearing “people just don’t want to work anymore.” Employers should not be surprised they have to pay more to get employees when they restrict their hiring pool. Basic supply and demand.

I’ve watched my industry (which is not customer facing) gradually relax dress codes over time. It’s a bit ironic because my part time job in college had a more strict dress code than I have ever experienced in my career.

Honestly, though, how many people actually want to work? I have to work to pay my bills, but I don't really want to. If I had enough money I'd never work another day in my life.

 

[ronandannette]

Where do you draw the line about who gets hired by appearance? What if the grocery store said someone was too fat? Or their skin color was too dark? Where does "Welcome to Adulting 101" fit into those scenarios?

Gee, that was said about the kids in the late 60's and early 70's as well, LOL!

Health code is just that the hair must be tied back, or under a hair net. Otherwise, every person would have to have the same short hair. no matter what gender they identify as.

You listed some safety issues, which are totally different from a haircut. If the rest are just dress code set up by management, then they are a controlling group of jerks, IMO. I'm so glad my place of employment just requires us to have particular body parts covered.

We need a straw-man emoji.