You're inspiring me to be better. I've never felt even a little body conscious. This is a new feeling for me. I'm not sure how I'm going to work through it, but I will figure it out. I was raised by my grandmother, who most definitely didn't try to age gracefully. She had multiple facelifts and other plastic surgeries while I lived with her.
My gained experience on this is: Does he notice? Yes. Does it matter to him? No.OP here. Great responses.
I‘m an advocate of you do it your way. I guess I’m still sorting out what my way is, which is why I asked.
My goal is to love the body I’m in. I‘m finding that harder these days. I’m a little more self conscious without clothes in front of my husband. I spend more time picking clothes because I’m not really sure what my style is or how I should style my hair so I don’t look frumpy or trying too hard to look youthful. I went to a baby shower recently and was seated at the “old” end of the table. All signs point to I’m aging
Anyways, I should probably get out of my head on this. I’m grateful to be getting older.
I wanted to put a laughing emoji on this but I didn’t want you to think I was laughing at you; just with you.
I think this has a bigger impact than we tend to even be aware of. My sisters and I have all had some major body issues growing up that were most definitely rooted in the fact that our mother has the worst self esteem of any person I have ever met. She had learned from her parents that a person’s worth was directly correlated to their attractiveness (and since they lived with my parents for most of my life we were exposed to that as well). There was absolutely no body acceptance modeled for us, so we were certainly not exposed to any concept of growing old gracefully.
Yup, we do tend to change our goals every given year.
I like this response a lot. I would add that, with a daughter in her early 20’s, I feel a responsibility to accept aging as a part of life to hopefully be a role model for her. I have friends in their 30s who talk about how they should have started Botox or fillers years ago to ensure they don’t get wrinkles. These women are truly beautiful and I support them in whatever they choose to do, but their fear of showing signs of aging makes me sad, and I blame our culture. It just seems like once you start down a path of fighting the aging process, it turns into a never ending battle. Once you “fix” one thing, does it then make other things look worse and then they need to be fixed? It’s a battle you really can’t win.
I think there are different things depending on ones age that have their own priorities. In my 50's I didn't really think about it very much. The same for the start of 60, it wasn't until the last three years of my 60's that I started to have medical problems kick in. First, there was Prostate Cancer, followed closely by cataracts (both eyes), then couple kidney stones requiring surgery and the second one got infected and caused a bout of sepsis. Then I had started to have a problem walking caused by stenosis in a couple of spinal areas in the lumbar region of my back controlled somewhat by chiropractic help and exercise. That carried through until I was 70 and all of a sudden I needed a pacemaker. That was followed within a year with another stenosis, this time in my neck that put me almost in a permanent wheelchair caused my hands to feel constantly numb (great feeling) and had a Cervical spine fusion in my neck. That was done last August. What that means is I have been basically recovering from things since that first happy birthday diagnosis date.
I think there are different things depending on ones age that have their own priorities. In my 50's I didn't really think about it very much. The same for the start of 60, it wasn't until the last three years of my 60's that I started to have medical problems kick in. First, there was Prostate Cancer, followed closely by cataracts (both eyes), then couple kidney stones requiring surgery and the second on got infected and cause a bout of sepsis. Then I had started to have a problem walking caused by stenosis in a couple of spinal areas in the lumbar region of my back controlled somewhat by chiropractic help and exercise. That carried through until I was 70 and all of a sudden I needed a pacemaker. That was followed within a year with another stenosis, this time in my neck that put me almost in a permanent wheelchair caused my hands to feel constantly numb (great feeling) and had a Cervical spine fusion in my neck. That was done last August. What that means is I have been basically recovering from things since that date.
So I went from having no aging problems and feeling like I always did to what was, at one point, practically unable to walk without assistance and even then it was a shuffle. So everything I thought of as aging gracefully was tossed out the window. Now my primary occupation is relearning how to walk normally getting treatments to my back on a weekly basis and generally just trying to remain as active as possible and setting goals for recovery. I have made a lot of progress in that area and have decided that as long as I can do it, I am going to continue to push myself and set goals for travel and mental exercise. Posting on these discussion boards are one of those exercises in mental awareness and maintaining my independence and self care.
That's as aging gracefully as I can get. The what I look like ship sailed a long time ago. Now I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how I got those bruises on my arms. Aging is a real adventure. I even went back to the golf course for a few holes just to ease myself back into things. My current large goal is to be able to drive back up to Vermont this summer to visit friends and relatives. I have still been driving through most of this but it's not the driving it's the trying to walk after I've sat in a car for a couple of hours. Fun, fun and more fun.
One of the fortunate things that did happen was from the very first mind boggler. On my 67th birthday I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. They felt it was the slow growing kind so I opted to monitor the situation and if the problem got to the right point that surgery or some option was advisable I would do it then. In just a couple months I will be 75 and it hasn't grown enough for anyone to care about it, so, as the medical profession says so eloquently, "the chances are that you will die of something else long before this gets to be a problem" so I've got that going for me.
I can tell you this, I will not go gentle into that good night!
One doesn't need to push that narrative. Age comes to you and there is only one way to avoid it. That way really doesn't seem like a quality solution.I‘m glad to read responses from some of the men here. My husband is turning 50 soon. To me, he gets more attractive the older he gets. I love that his hair is peppered with gray and he has laugh lines. He denies he’s aging, though, so he’s not even trying to age gracefully
I don’t care what strangers think when I do my hair and make up. Everything I do is for me. I’m the one managing it not them.
This! I'm almost 59 and have done Botox for my forehead lines and 11's a few times. It's pricey so I can't do it as often as I'd like. But when I do I feel so much better looking in the mirror. Not for anyone else but for me! As my lines are so deep I hate, absolutely hate myself with them. So it's worth it to me. If anything you can do to make yourself feel better, then why not?
This is exactly how I feel & what I do. I still want to look my best but accept that I’m in my 40s & some of it is what it is!
One challenging thing about aging is that we all have to do what makes us feel good/confident, but I've found we also have to grow a tougher skin, as many people - especially arrogant younger ones - can act extremely judgmental and condescending - as they have not experienced this life stage yet and think they know it all.
This is a great answer.
