Travelling with inlaws

[cndmama05]

So we are going on our trip in about 3 weeks with my FIL and his gf. We will be sharing a cabin at fort wildrness along wth my family of DH, myself and 2 DD (5 and 1). Originally we had booked caribean beach resort but once i told FIL of the reservation he went and booked a cabin and we should cancel ours and just stay with them. We thought it was a good idea at the time..
But now I'm worried about sharing the space. They said we could have the room and they will stay on the pullout bed in the living room. Our youngest DD goes to bed early so we would have to all hangout the rest of the evening in the living room, which is also their bedroom. Also i am dreading the 1 bathroom situation. Now we have enough credit card points to reserve a one bedroom suite at sheraton vistana villa resort but i think if i were to back now it would hurt Fil as he really wants to spend time with the girls. How should i navigate this while keeping the peace?

 

[piccolopat]

Sounds a bit cozy for me. How long is your trip? I might be able to do this for a very short 2-3 day trip but probably not any longer. We traveled with my in laws many times over the years, both before and after DD was born. The first trip was a road trip to Canada and the first stop we shared a room. It was two levels so better than a standard room but our half was just down a few steps and it was just not enough privacy for us. We changed the rest of the trip so we had two rooms and were much happier. I got along very well with them and so that was not an issue. I just wanted to be able to lounge at the end of the day in my nightgown and couldn't. The one shared bath was also inconvenient as we had to walk through the section they were sleeping in. I would talk to your FIL and let him know that you asked about sharing a cabin with this many people on the DIS and think things might be a bit too tight for comfort based on feedback from people that already tried this.

 

[Realfoodfans]

I agree with PP - a couple of nights at most! We holiday often with family but always with our own space. We have shared a cabin with 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom with my DD and 2 littlies and that was fine but if SIL was with us it wouldn't have worked at all.

 

[DisneyWorldbuff]

No way that would work for us, at all. I need my own space to decompress after spending all that time with family. Everyone would be much happier with their own space. If you re already second guessing this choice and dreading any aspect of the situation, I would follow your instincts and book your own space. It is better to leave with a happy family and intact relationships than be stressed and uncomfortable on your vacation. I would thank him for his offer, but decline it and book your own space. Don't feel bad about it and make any excuses. You will have a better trip in the long run. Good luck and I hope you have a great trip!

 

[KrazeeK120]

Here's the thing...if the kids are sleeping, they're not spending time with their grandpa anyway. There will be plenty of time for that during the day. I think everyone will ultimately be happier and more comfortable if you split up to sleep. I am incredibly close to my parents and I would still never want to share a room with them on vacation!

 

[Nancyg56]

You are not comfortable so this is not going to work. We travel as a family often, and we share space, but we are used to each other, know how to respect privacy, and spend a lot of time away from the reform itself. When we share a room it is at a deluxe resort so we have plenty to do at the resort.

I would not share a room with people I did not normally travel with. DH and I travel with my DD and her family, and my youngest son and DDIL. We book a few rooms and we are good to go. My oldest and his DW? Nope. We love them. They love us. Not sharing a room.

I woudl book your own room, use the baby as the reason if you think there will be hard feelings.

 

[melanielll]

Also - your husband needs to be the one to tell your FIL this.

 

[lorenni]

Any chance the older DD can have a sleepover or two at Grandpas cabin while you, DH and younger DD stay at the Sheraton?

We only travel with grandparents (on either side) if we have a two bedroom villa or the grandparents have a completely separate studio room. Living rooms as bedrooms are a one night solution at best with grown ups on the pull out.

Absolutely agree with PP that DH must be the one to relay any change in plans.

 

[LuvMyEAR]

This would make me intensely uncomfortable, and it is possible that your FIL's girlfriend may even be feeling a bit of the same. With 3 weeks to go, NOW is the time for a frank discussion, maybe with all 4 adults.

This was a lovely offer, to cshare an amazing spot, and enjoy some togetherness, but two rooms in the same resort would be vastly preferable. Again, frank discussion...and soon!!! Explain tactfully that the idea of being together and in such a lovely place overcame your good sense, but the single bathroom, and sitting up in what is somebody's bedroom are not conditions you want to impose on their vacation or yours.

If they want to keep the cabin and have a few sleepovers...sweet! Or maybe they would like to move to an alternate resort and see if you can get adjoining or nearby rooms.

The situation you describe is exactly why we always end up staying offsite, as I think is affordable for us to ensure every single adult and adult couple has a real bedroom and bathroom of their own. Having common space which is not someone's sleeping quarters is enjoyed by everyone.

DH and I were lucky enough to be invited to stay at the Grand Californian a few years back, sharing a room with my mother and sister. Loved the chance to be in the GC but I seriously wanted to sleep in the lobby, and use the pool showers. I know I should have been flat-out grateful, but being in that room for more than 5 minutes caused me so much stress that it was all I could do to be civil. I did everything I could to avoid being in the room unless 100% necessary. I haunted the halls and lobby most of the wee hours.

 

[cndmama05]

This would make me intensely uncomfortable, and it is possible that your FIL's girlfriend may even be feeling a bit of the same. With 3 weeks to go, NOW is the time for a frank discussion, maybe with all 4 adults.

This was a lovely offer, to cshare an amazing spot, and enjoy some togetherness, but two rooms in the same resort would be vastly preferable. Again, frank discussion...and soon!!! Explain tactfully that the idea of being together and in such a lovely place overcame your good sense, but the single bathroom, and sitting up in what is somebody's bedroom are not conditions you want to impose on their vacation or yours.

If they want to keep the cabin and have a few sleepovers...sweet! Or maybe they would like to move to an alternate resort and see if you can get adjoining or nearby rooms.

The situation you describe is exactly why we always end up staying offsite, as I think is affordable for us to ensure every single adult and adult couple has a real bedroom and bathroom of their own. Having common space which is not someone's sleeping quarters is enjoyed by everyone.

DH and I were lucky enough to be invited to stay at the Grand Californian a few years back, sharing a room with my mother and sister. Loved the chance to be in the GC but I seriously wanted to sleep in the lobby, and use the pool showers. I know I should have been flat-out grateful, but being in that room for more than 5 minutes caused me so much stress that it was all I could do to be civil. I did everything I could to avoid being in the room unless 100% necessary. I haunted the halls and lobby most of the wee hours.

Thank you for validating my feelings! MY husband was on the phone with FIL last night so I told him in the background to let him know we will probably get a hotel for part of the days. I couldn't hear FIL's reaction but DH told me after that he said don't worry about it and that he will sleep with ear plugs and they don't care how loud the baby is. ARGH! They just don't get it. My LO is used to sleeping in complete darkness in her own room at night and she just recently started sleeping through the night! I really don't want to mess with that. DH seems to think we should at least try the cabin and is it doesn't work then we move.

 

[cndmama05]

Any chance the older DD can have a sleepover or two at Grandpas cabin while you, DH and younger DD stay at the Sheraton?

We only travel with grandparents (on either side) if we have a two bedroom villa or the grandparents have a completely separate studio room. Living rooms as bedrooms are a one night solution at best with grown ups on the pull out.

Absolutely agree with PP that DH must be the one to relay any change in plans.

No, I don't think DD will be comfortable if we left her there with grandpa and his girlfriend overnight. For a few hours in the afternoon, sure, but she really doesn't know him all that well. He lives in Miami and we live in Canada. He has only seen her on 3 occasions and she's 5.

 

[cndmama05]

Sounds a bit cozy for me. How long is your trip? I might be able to do this for a very short 2-3 day trip but probably not any longer. We traveled with my in laws many times over the years, both before and after DD was born. The first trip was a road trip to Canada and the first stop we shared a room. It was two levels so better than a standard room but our half was just down a few steps and it was just not enough privacy for us. We changed the rest of the trip so we had two rooms and were much happier. I got along very well with them and so that was not an issue. I just wanted to be able to lounge at the end of the day in my nightgown and couldn't. The one shared bath was also inconvenient as we had to walk through the section they were sleeping in. I would talk to your FIL and let him know that you asked about sharing a cabin with this many people on the DIS and think things might be a bit too tight for comfort based on feedback from people that already tried this.

The trip is 8 days in Orlando. We have 4 day tickets and plan to spend some time relaxing and hitting the beach. I will probably book our hotel suite and go for the first night to Fort wilderness and if it doesn't work, we will move offsite the next day.

 

[Nancyg56]

The trip is 8 days in Orlando. We have 4 day tickets and plan to spend some time relaxing and hitting the beach. I will probably book our hotel suite and go for the first night to Fort wilderness and if it doesn't work, we will move offsite the next day.

This sounds like a plan. I know that we are okay traveling as a family, but I would not with people I had very seldom spent time with. Give it a shot, but you will know after one night if this is worth it.

 

[brockash]

So we are going on our trip in about 3 weeks with my FIL and his gf. We will be sharing a cabin at fort wildrness along wth my family of DH, myself and 2 DD (5 and 1). Originally we had booked caribean beach resort but once i told FIL of the reservation he went and booked a cabin and we should cancel ours and just stay with them. We thought it was a good idea at the time..
But now I'm worried about sharing the space. They said we could have the room and they will stay on the pullout bed in the living room. Our youngest DD goes to bed early so we would have to all hangout the rest of the evening in the living room, which is also their bedroom. Also i am dreading the 1 bathroom situation. Now we have enough credit card points to reserve a one bedroom suite at sheraton vistana villa resort but i think if i were to back now it would hurt Fil as he really wants to spend time with the girls. How should i navigate this while keeping the peace?

I agree, I think switching now is not a good idea and would offend your inlaws. Honestly, while it doesn't sound ideal, if they're willing to give you guys the bedroom, you all have the better end of the deal for sure. Are you planning on keeping to your kids normal schedule? If so, I guess that could turn into an issue, although you basically would have had the same issue at a room at CBR. We've been going for 10+ years with kids as young as 7 weeks to as old 15 and we've never kept to their schedule at Disney. We're open-close folks and the kids sleep in the stroller when they need to /are tired. We also try to find longer attractions indoors during the afternoon and sometimes just sit in the shade with a snack etc. for a bit for everyone to rest. If you were going to be at the parks more, than I really don't think there would be much of an issue at all since you'd basically just be using the room to sleep at, but if you're planning on hanging out in the room a lot, then yes that could be a little more uncomfortable. As for the bathroom, I would just ask ahead and try to schedule the bathroom time for your family each morning, so everyone's able to get ready.

With all that said, I would never allow it to get to that point again...lesson learned. I would just make sure in future trips you guys need your own space etc., but I just feel like it's too late for that at this point for this trip.

 

[Smittolis]

Having done this last year, I can safely say I will never do it again! lol... and this was just with my MIL! She had the sofa bed in our WL 1 bedroom DVC Villa, while in theory it is a cool idea, additional helping hands with the kids, great experiences with grandparents, family etc... Put anyone in a room for a prolonged period with no space and see what happens! I suggest people research the 'Stanford Experiment' for the psychological principles behind it! lol

You can make it work for sure, but just make sure you have some ground rules about having time alone as a family in the parks, you cannot please everyone all of the time so being upfront about taking the kids by yourselves and not including them will avoid awkward conversations about 'well you are not invited' etc... when leaving for a park! Buy a pack of walkie talkies from amazon and give them one so you can coordinate where to meet in the parks, treat them as teenagers! ;o)

Whatever you choose, have fun and just focus on why you are there in the first place! While Disney is a magical place for most, I would hazard a guess it is also a grave yard to many a relationship! lol

 

[nkereina]

The trip is 8 days in Orlando. We have 4 day tickets and plan to spend some time relaxing and hitting the beach. I will probably book our hotel suite and go for the first night to Fort wilderness and if it doesn't work, we will move offsite the next day.

If you already have the hotel suite booked while you're there and end up not using it, won't it be a waste of your points? If that's not a concern, the other thing I'd consider is hurting your FIL's feelings. He booked and paid for this cabin for all of you, so if you guys leave then it's just the two of them in this cabin that they really don't need. I don't know, I'd feel guilty about moving at all at this point, but especially during the trip. It sounds like you may have been able to opt out of this at the beginning, but to me, the longer you wait the hairier it becomes.

 

[cndmama05]

If you already have the hotel suite booked while you're there and end up not using it, won't it be a waste of your points? If that's not a concern, the other thing I'd consider is hurting your FIL's feelings. He booked and paid for this cabin for all of you, so if you guys leave then it's just the two of them in this cabin that they really don't need. I don't know, I'd feel guilty about moving at all at this point, but especially during the trip. It sounds like you may have been able to opt out of this at the beginning, but to me, the longer you wait the hairier it becomes.

I can book now and I would need to cancel 24 hours before check in and get a full refund of points.
FIL only stays at the cabins when he goes, so even if we were to be at another hotel, he would still want to be there. So that's not really an issue. Yes, he would be hurt, but not because of the money issue, more so because he wants to spend more time with the girls.

 

[LuvMyEAR]

I can book now and I would need to cancel 24 hours before check in and get a full refund of points.
FIL only stays at the cabins when he goes, so even if we were to be at another hotel, he would still want to be there. So that's not really an issue. Yes, he would be hurt, but not because of the money issue, more so because he wants to spend more time with the girls.

 

[LuvMyEAR]

Take it from a rabidly doting grandmother, there is nothing like spending time with that special generation. However, in close quarters, it can wear thin really FAST. Particularly if your FIL is not exposed to young ones for extended periods on a regular basis.

Keep it light and friendly and on a positive note, and promise your FIL to give it a try and see what happens. Make a pact that if ANYONE is chafing under the arrangement, a second room will be found. In sweet honesty, he may even be the one to feel it first! And sofa beds are notoriously awful...

Remind him that if you need to go with Plan B, it would still be a treat to be able to spend time at the cabin, take in a campfire or two, and enjoy the facilities. Truthfully, I looked into booking one myself for the night of Halloween as they have so many great activities offered! At the end of the evening, DH and I could go back to the 4 bedroom house we have rented, leaving our Dd and her family to "rough it" overnight!

If you try it for a night, knowing you have an escape clause, you may never want to leave.

 

[siestakeys04]

To bad you guys couldn't rent points at least you could have had your 2 bedrooms and more than 1 bathroom. I hope everything works out for you. Have a great trip.