So aggravated with DH I could spit--long. UPDATE :)

[minkydog]

I am going through this with my father. I know about feeling guilty - he just got home today after having a stroke. Fortunately he has no permanent damage.

My sister is now here with me - but is not helping a lot. I sent her to the grocery store. She has called me FIVE times. I don't care what she gets. She is 50 years old and has worked in the food business for over 20 years. Just plan a meal and buy something.

Of course my brother cannot be bothered at all. He took her ex-girlfriend's daughters to the mall instead of visiting my father. He'll probably come visit in 6 months.

Sorry to hear about your father. I can relate to what your going through, though. When my father was sick with lung cancer his long time GF and my brother were caring for him. As soon as i showed up it was like they forgot how to do everything--they deferred completely to me (I'm the oldest child). Sounds like it would be great, but it was exhausting. GF was very kind to my father and spent a lot of time with him in his end days, but she couldn't make any decisions. My brother put dad in the car so we could drive him to the hospital and we never saw him again until the funeral, even though dad lingered for weeks. I guess people just handle crises differently. Hopefully you can find a "meeting ground" with your siblings so everyone can contribute what they can without leaving you holding the entire bag.

On the homefront, things are a little better. I had to lay my cards on the table because DH just didn't get that his behavior was causing me more work and more stress. He has been doing better about getting rested during the day so he doesn't just "dump" Christian (and everything else!) on me when I come home from work. I'm still going on my trip to Washington and he still is not happy about it. But I also got a family vacation scheduled and even a couples trip to NYC~which is what DH wanted in the first place. School got out on Friday so I just have two more days of post-planning/cleanup and then i'll be out for the summer.

 

[breezy1077]

minkydog, just read your thread and all I have to say is hang in there girl!

I know it's extremely difficult, but can you schedule some time to yourself if not once a week, once a month? You're no good to anyone else if you're stressed to the gills.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way...

Keep us posted if you feel like it and come back here to vent anytime - we're here for ya.

 

[dee47]

Minkydog, if you're coming to the Seattle / Eastside area, PM me. I'll take you out to lunch. Or I can get you a massage with my friend, who's the best massage therapist in the universe. Or we can do both. You've earned it! Hang in there.

Breezy, you should come and visit too!

 

[minkydog]

Minkydog, if you're coming to the Seattle / Eastside area, PM me. I'll take you out to lunch. Or I can get you a massage with my friend, who's the best massage therapist in the universe. Or we can do both. You've earned it! Hang in there.

Breezy, you should come and visit too!

Awww, you are so sweet! Actually I am going to be across the Sound. My sister and I are going to try to go up to Mt. Rainier for a day or so, then hitch up her camper and hit the Olympic peninsula for a week. Without DH or the kids. Yesh! (oops, can't seem too excited, hubby is looking at me )

 

[dee47]

Oh, you'll be in some gorgeous areas! Enjoy it!

 

[disney-inspired]

I'm praying that God gives you strength. Just remember, anything and everything we do unto the Lord. So it may appear that you are doing something for your DH but you are really doing it for the Lord. My grandma was the caretaker for my grandfather for several years before he passed, I seriously don't know how she did it!

 

[minkydog]

Well, I'm back from my trip to Washington. It was heavenly! even though it was still pretty cold. 14 feet of snow at Paradise Lodge up on Mount Rainier. In june! My sister is a pro at pulling her camper so we headed out for a week on the Olympic peninsula. It was very relaxing--she is not demanding to be with and was perfectly pleased to do whatever sparked our fancy. Sometimes we just sat under the awning and read books. One night it just poured rain--really hard rain (in Forks ) So we fixed soup and piled up on the couch to watch DVDs. Of course, it sounds like we just laid around all the time, but we did get in a few hikes and visited a few beaches (cold beaches!) Got challenged by a couple of bull elk in the rainforest, but otherwise no real serious events.

The best thing was just getting up when we felt like and doing whatever we wanted, without having to consider anyone elses needs. I know, call me crazy. We talked and talked and ate candy and went to gift shops. We also played with rocks on the beach and stacked up little cairns for a couple hours--our hubbies would have thought that was a waste of time. And when the sun came out, we laid down on the warm rocks and napped! My kind of vacation.

Thanks for the encouragement. Who knows when I'll get this opportunity again, but it has done me a world of good. DH was lonely, but he lived through it. DS enjoyed his time with the respite provider. Everyone had a nice vacation, I think, and now I'm ready to get on with summer.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I loved reading about your trip.. sounds like that good sort of energy to get your engines running again.. Bravo to you for going and having the best time with your sister.

Summer is here and hopefully you can get some more special times in with the good weather.

Hugs to you, you did it girl.. Bravo!!!!!

 

[kimis]

I am so glad you went on your trip and that you had a great time.
When my mom was sick my sisters and I were her caregivers. However, I was considered the main caregiver. I was in charge of her medicene and I was with her 24/7.
The first night of her diagnosis she told me two things. They were I had to learn her medicenes starting that night and no matter who was with her (even my sisters) I was not to leave. As time grew she became more dependent on me and would remind me not to leave her with anyone. I didn't want to seem like an over powering caregiver so when people would come to see her I would disappear into the back of the house but that didn't last long before they would call for me. I would try to stay home when my sisters would take her out so they could have some time with her without me but at night after those trips she would tell me not to do that agian.
I think my sisters resented me for that. However, I never have and never will tell them what she said. I don't want to hurt their feelings! My mom didn't say it because she didn't trust them or that she would want to hurt their feelings. She felt that I was stronger (was I given a choice?).
I loved and am very grateful for being there for my mom. I would have taken care of her for an eternity. I knew a couple of days before she passed that my body was falling apart but it wasn't until after she was gone did I realize how much.
My mom was a strong woman who never asked for nor got any help so to see her like this was very difficult.
I know you feel the same way about your dh and ds but take care of yourself also. Keep those trips happening. Maybe you could take a couple of over nighters.
Are there organizations that you could call to help with ds? I would call them all if you haven't already. What about your church? Have you called your pastor and asked him to come over. THan explain to him you whole situation because maybe their are some people in the church that might love to help even for just a couple of hours a week? Also are you near a nurses school? Sometimes the student nurses might be able to come over a couple of hours a week.
Anyway these are just ideas. You are in my thoughts and prayers!