Screaming children

[LeftCoaster]

My parents never spanked me as a kid. ::waits for ensuing jokes:: but someway, somehow, my parents made us knew what was expected of us when we were out in public. I'm sure we may have had a meltdown or two but, certainly nothing like you see these days. My parents would not have tolerated this at all.
I think part of the mentality is "It's my money and my time so, I'm going to let my kid be a monster because I'm entitled to."
I really do enjoy kids too.... BUT, there is acceptable public behavior and if you don't teach kids that at an early age, then they will never learn.

 

[RickinNYC]

Man oh man, is this thread both frustrating but hilarious! I have to share my own experience.

My partner, best friend and I were eating at the German pavilian at Epcot. It was between shows so the stage and floor immediately in front were bare but for the mobs of kids who were running and shouting. We simply shrugged our shoulders and basically thought, "Well, the area is empty, no one can get hurt." But the screaming! Yeesh! But that still didn't bother us. "We're in WDW," we thought, "kids will be kids!"

As we ate, one little girl from the table immediately behind us was apparently getting riled up and excited by the others kids' commotion. She proceed to hop down from her chair and began circling her table repeatedly. Again, no harm, no foul. Patience is a virtue. Nunya biz. No big. And so we wait.

Then this precious little dynamo proceeded to do figure eights around her table and ours. A bit disconcerting but we still ignored her. Well, I guess being ignored is what sets her off because she started chanting nonsense and wailing like a banshee. And to add insult to injury, she took a shine to yours truly whereby she decided to slam her little body into the back of my seat, giggle uproariously and move on to circle about again.

After getting a 5 year old body slam one to many times, I felt now was the time to act so I carefully pushed my chair back a few inches so that the back of my chair was a scant inch from the back of the man's chair behind me. Problem solved? Good God! Someone release the hounds!

Little Precious did everything but spit up pea soup and spin her head! She immediately launched into slamming her body against not just my chair, but my body as well (still eating by the way) and screaming "MOVEMOVEMOVEMOVEMOVEIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!!!"

And then the slapping began. Not me to her. Not her father or mother. She took the opportunity to start slapping my arm and shoulder while screaming. Nice, eh?

So I looked down at her and quietly said, "Where's your mommy or daddy? I want to talk to them."

The little dear's eyes bugged out of her extremely red face. Ever see the movie Scanners? People with psychic ability that can explode your head at the thought? Yeah, that's little peaches to a 't'. Anyway, she then raises her arm, whips it down to slap.... HER FATHER WHO WAS SITTING BEHIND ME!

"DADDYTHISMEANMANWON'TLETMEPLAYIHATEHIMIWANNAPLAYMAKEHIMLETMEPLAYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY!" You've all heard this at one time, I'm sure.

What does Daddy do? "My daughter is trying to play so move your chair buddy."

Ok, so back to the movie Scanners. Remember? Eyes bulge, psychic ability, someone's head explodes. Yeah, that's the one. Well, that was me this time.

So, taking a deep cleansing breath, I politely said, "I'm sorry but I'm trying to enjoy a nice dinner. Kids will be kids but this is a bit much, wouldn't you agree? I'd appreciate it if you could control you daughter. Thank you oh so much." Ok, so that's a big fat lie. I opened my mouth and before I could say a thing, I kid you not, Daddy shouts, "MOVE."

Ok, so Scanners... yeah, you get the picture.

Once again, I open my mouth to respond, this time with all the NYC attitude I could muster, "Excuse....?" When Joe, my partner, beat me to the punch with, "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? WE'RE TRYING TO EAT AND IF YOU COULD JUST LEARN TO BE A PARENT AND NOT A LAZY (bleep) SLOB THERE WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM. WATCH YOUR DAUGHTER FOR A CHANGE." Did I mention that I've only lived in NYC for 15 years but he was born and raised in the area?

Daddy flustered and stammered, his wife tried to screech but for some reason couldn't say anything, darling sweetie kept slapping Daddy, Joe (my partner) stood there glaring, and I tried so hard not to giggle.

A MEGA cast member swooped out of no where and asked what the problem was when Daddy started accusing us of disturbing his family's dinner. But the MEGA cast member saw the light of Daddy's life screaming and slapping and body slamming and crying and stomping and wailing and gnashing and on and on... The little spitfire was still at it! So MEGA cast member politely asked Daddy to calm his beautiful daughter to which he refused.

So MEGA cast member asked Daddy and family to leave. He was very polite and said so with a smile and even offered to contact security if Daddy preferred. I love that MEGA cast member. I think I want to marry him.

So the family stormed off to very loud applause by virtually everyone within the vicinity. And sugar pie honey bunch was STILL body slamming and screaming to her heart's content.

All this and all I had a chance to say was, "Excuse.....?" Hmmph.

 

[underdesea]

RickinNYC, it's a good thing I read your post just before 5; most everyone had already left for the day, so no one heard me LOL alone in my office! Your story was hysterical; well, actually the story itself is kinda sad, as far as the whole lack-of-control-and-belligerence-by-parents-who-should-know-better thing, but the end response from the CM and surrounding "audience" members couldn't be better. The arrogance of people who believe that they and their family members are living in some rarified environment in which they can do, act and say anything they please never ceases to amaze me. If I had started running around tables at a restaurant when I was a kid, my parents would have promptly and firmly told me to sit down and calm down. Had I even tried to go down the road Princess of Evil traveled, I would have gotten the "We're getting on the plane and going home right now" speech (heck, this was in the days before airlines charged fees for ticket changes; I would have bought the line). They most certainly would have removed me not only from the restaurant, but from the park itself.

Someone should publish all of these posts as a sort of therapeutic guide for childfree Disney visitors--at least we all know we're not alone in these types of experiences! I have found a home in this Forum!

 

[disneyfreakk]

Originally posted by underdesea
We finally gave them "the look" out of frustration, and the mother said (in that same loud voice others have mentioned in this thread), "People who don't like children shouldn't come to Disney World."

WOW. i would have looked her right in the eye and said in the same loud voice " if people dont want to be parents, then they should NOT have children !"

i wonder what she would have said 2 that!

 

[ChisJo]

Rick, I have to say that your post was the best way to end my day! It made me laugh so hard! It is so sad how some children are raised. I remember my parents always saying "If you don't be quiet, I will take you to the van and give you something to cry about!" I never found out what that something was, but I was terrified none the less and never gave my parents a hard time in public, EVER!
If we were on vacation, and I tried acting up, it was, "we will get you on the next plane home and you can hear how much fun we had without you when we get home!"
One time, my siblings were actually fighting in the car, driving home from a holiday, and my parents actually stopped the car, made them get out, and forced them to walk. Of course, they went back for them, but like 1/2 hour later. And let me tell you, if we ever misbehaved in public, mother's threats were enough for us to behave.
Jo
P.S. - my parents never once hit me or spanked me.

 

[Davids-Coco]

Originally posted by Deep-Thots
they just sat there and finished off the remains of their wine.

This bothers me. Why do parents feel the need to drink with their children around? A glass, fine. Two, probably okay... but don't get intoxicated or even slightly empaired. Parenting should be a full, clear attention thing. That is bad parenting. And yes, obviously I have issues with Pleasure Island being so open now. But, it is just one of those things.

 

[Chesire]

Thank you for making my day! Another not-quite-ready for children couple here
I know this is a bit off topic, but do you have any thoughts about when is a good time to bring kids to WDW? I see so many young children and I just think "why?"
I was thinking 5 or 6 years old or so, but my husband was leaning towards 8 or 9!

 

[Davids-Coco]

Chesire, we have always talked about waiting until the not-yet-born children are 6 or 7 yrs old... I am not sure what happens when we have two children. But I am sure we will wait a while until both are older.

 

[Chesire]

Davids-Coco, sounds like we are in the same boat
I do want to experience WDW with our future children ... but I think my husband and I need to enjoy it more ourselves. I just hope I turn out to be one of the parents who doesn't put themselves first! I am still in shock of how oblivious parents can be with their children ...

 

[disneyfreakk]

heck, if you want your future kids to appriciate how awsome WDW is just do what my parents did.... wait until the offspring are old enough to have their own house/job and can take themselves !! that way if they dont enjoy themselves or dont remember, its the kids fault.

 

[disneyfreakk]

Originally posted by Davids-Coco
This bothers me. Why do parents feel the need to drink with their children around? A glass, fine. Two, probably okay... but don't get intoxicated or even slightly empaired. Parenting should be a full, clear attention thing. That is bad parenting. And yes, obviously I have issues with Pleasure Island being so open now. But, it is just one of those things.

WOW, how many bottles of wine did these ppl have?? there are only 4 glasses in one bottle!?!>?!

 

[SuzieQMomof3]

Like PP auds35 stated, it all comes down to acceptability. I swear sometimes that my generation of parents (aged mid-30s) forgot somewhere along the way that they are the ones who are in charge. My husband and I get to have a lot of fun with our family, because our kids know that if their behavior is inappropriate, we will (and have) leave. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Here are my two stories:

We were in Liberty Tree Tavern with 4 very young children. Three of our own and my brother's son (so they could have a quiet dinner). Our oldest was 6 at the time, so I'm talking LITTLE kids. So here we are trying to keep the kids well-behaved and also making sure they have a good time, and let me tell you, this is WORK! Those parents who ignore their screaming children are lazy. Anyway, sitting next to us is a family consisting of a mom, dad, son, and daughter, who are about 6-8 years old. Old enough to know better, one would think. These kids were fighting, screaming, and whining. Throughout the whole meal people kept giving US dirty looks and sighs and head shakes. I felt like going to all the tables around us (we were sort of in a corner) and telling them, "it's not us!" Very frustrating.



My other story happened at Hoop-De-Doo Review. We were seated in the very back of the restaurant. In the middle of the room was a infant who fussed the entire time. This baby was no more than 4 months old. So whenever the baby really started to scream, the dad did the right thing and moved the baby away from the table. Only he stood in the back of the restaurant, right behind us so all that we could hear was this crying baby! Nothing is worse than bringing your kids somewhere and having to suffer through someone else's child throwing a fit. I finally turned full-around and stared at him. I guess he took the hint and went outside. I'm sure he wanted to see the show, but we did, too. I would usually not say anything to another parent, no matter how bad the behavior was, but that show costs us over $250, and I wanted to hear it as well as see it

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Chicago526]

What I can't figure out is why the restaurants allow this behaivor. These are private establishments and they have the right to refuse service to anyone that misbehaves (or have children that do). This kind of thing must cost them money in the long run, from other patrons that leave early and don't order as much, demanding part or all of their bill be comped, and lower tips to the wait staff. Upsetting one family by making them leave must be more cost effective than makeing dozens of other tables unhappy, but yet they do nothing.

These parents that allow their kids to act like monsters KNOW that the restaurants, 9 times out of 10, won't say "boo" to them, so why waste their time and energy getting little princess to behave? If the establishments made more of an effort to get their patrons to tow the line, maybe we wouldn't see as much of this.

In a food court situation, I could care less, in fact I expect it. In sit-down restaurants within the parks, again, I have a high tolleration, hey-I'm in a theme park afterall! But in restaurants at the WDW resorts (or any regular place in my home town for that matter) you better believe that the restaurant manager is gonna hear from me if the kids at the table next to mine are acting like some of the examples in this thread. They can either move me, move the family making the disturbance, or give me my meal for free, because I'm not spending $150 plus at California Grill at my 9pm PS to hear little precious scream his head off.

I love kids, and I know they have meltdowns. I certainly don't go to WDW expecting not to see kids, or see kids that get upset and have tantrums. But I expect the parents to act like adults and remove the child if they can't get the kid to behave.

Okay, I'll hop down off the soap box now.

 

[LisaZoe]

meaneausindisney - as the parent of a DD who is not yet 3, let me assure you that I do not at all resent you starting this thread (I noticed it because I came to this board thinking there might be some useful tips that would work for a single parent). As the majority of posters have indicated, a child's behavior is more a reflection of the parents than of the child - at least until the teenage years when no parent knows anything, anyway

I've made a point in raising my DD to not let her have something just because she asks for it. While it might have made things easier at times to give in, I know that in the long run it would come back to haunt me. She is generally an easy going and happy child (you're more likely to hear her sing than cry) but she does have her meltdowns at times. Luckily, they are mostly at home. When they have happened while we are out in public - anywhere, and not just restaurants - I quietly let her know that it isn't acceptable behavior and have left on the few occasions when she didn't stop.

Another thing I've done is to expose my DD to restaurants from an early age. They may not be anything fancy but it has helped her learn that she is expected to sit in her seat and play quietly if she isn't eating (restaurant meals are not a time to force the "eat everything on your plate" issue). I bet most of the kids who act as indicated in this thread haven't been to a restaurant before or so rarely that they haven't picked up on the accepted behavior. These kids probably also don't have "table meals" when at home so don't know how to act when they can't watch TV, play video games, etc. during dinner.

As for the posters who've asked about a good age to take kids to a Disney park, I have to say that my DD and I went to DLR just before she turned 2 and we are going to WDW in Sept - a month before her 3rd birthday. I do know, though, that it will be a very different experience at this age than we'll have when we go again when she is older. I have a very loose timeline created for our trip and each day has a 3-4 hour "midday break" for naps, pools, etc. and bedtime will be around her usual time. I also won't force her to go on any ride if she finds the entry area too scary/intense. However, I know she will remember this trip, if only a little, because she remembers details of our DLR trip that I had forgotten - so I know she wasn't just repeating something I told her. She absolutely loved the "teacups"

 

[RDS912]

I just have to put my 2 cents in here. My wife and I have 2 children ages 18mos and 5 years. Last year we went to WDW on our own. While I do have more tolerance for children than those of you without I must agree about parents being inconsiderate. There were several last year that I wanted to remove from an attraction myself, now dont get me wrong, I dont want to miss a show by having to take my child outside if they are throwing a temper tantrum, but aren't you missing the show anyway if you are fighting with your child? Why make everyone else suffer also? We are going again this Oct and I do believe you can do the ME stuff as well as make the trip all about your children. Its called balance. You also have to be flexible. I am planning this trip to death, but I promise my 18mo does not understand that we have a FP for MTM or a PS@such and such for a certain time. People need to learn to be good parents, that includes discipline, patients, and flexibility>

 

[Eeyore's Queen]

I have to add my 2 cents here too. I have 3 kids, 7,5, and 4. They have all been to Disney several times starting at the age of 15 months. We always have a great time but when it's time to go back to the hotel, it's time to go. My third was (is) a tantrum thrower. I don't put up with it and neither does my husband. We have taken him out of restaurants, etc. many a time. It has subsided some since he knows he's not getting away with it. But I think part of it is his personality. (And he is only like this for us - nobody else.)

I don't understand parents today. They let their kids get away with murder. My in-laws kids are like the ones described earlier. Their grandparents don't even like to be around them. And they wonder why the grandparents take our kids for long weekends all of the time and not their's.

Here's another twist on this story. A few years ago I was at a restaurant and my oldest (then about 4-5) decided he wanted dessert first. I told him no and he decides to throw a tantrum, which by the way, is VERY UNLIKE HIM. He is the good kid. So I take him outside and let him throw his tantrum out there in the 30 degree weather with no jacket. I was telling him (in a slightly harsh tone) to cut it out or we are leaving etc. Some guy comes out with his son (he was leaving) and stops and says "Aren't you being a little hard on him?" I was astounded. He didn't see what my son had done. He didn't see me beating the kid, so how is it any of his business? I was so mad. I told him to mind his own business and worry about his own kid. It saddens me that in today's age you can't even discipline your child in public without getting a hairy eyeball or something said. I just don't put up with bad behavior, not from my kids or anyone elses. I have no problem telling my friends' kids to sit down and be quiet, etc. But, I have to say, that guy in the restaurant could have easily called the police, etc on me and what would I have done then? So, as much as I hate bad behavior, I am very cautious how I talk to my kids while in public now. But when we get back to the car, look out. And they KNOW that.

Had to vent. Sorry. But I completely understand where you single/childless people are coming from. Disney is Disney and there are kids there, but they don't have to be ill mannered.


Heidi

 

[Deep-Thots]

Originally posted by RDS912
While I do have more tolerance for children than those of you without I must agree about parents being inconsiderate. wave2:

I have to say that I take issue with your assertion that people who have children have more tolerance with kids than childless folks do.

I have seen plenty of parents (my sister is one of them) who have remarkably little patience/tolerance with kids, while others of us childless folk (like me) do things like work with kids who have AIDS or work with developmentally disabled kids who think nothing of socking you in the ear and/or eye when they don't get their way (thank goodness they're only preschoolers).

Compassion, patience, and tolerance with/for kids come in all sizes and forms -- some of them parent-shaped, and some of them not.

Just my $.02.

 

[Gretchen]

I just love this thread!
My 2 bits too:
DD 2 or 3 years old and I are in Walmart. She has been warned that if she starts to pitch a gimmie fit, we will leave. Well, she's 3 so of course she wants everything she sees, pitches a fit, and we leave. Well, halfway out of the store she really freaks out, screaming top of the lungs hissie. We go out to the car, I strap her in the car seat and stand out side waiting for her to finish and calm down. She does, and we go into the grocery store to get some food. She starts up again....so yes, out we go and I tell her we're going home now, and you can sit on your bed for being naughty. Well, you would've thought I ripped her arm off, she started REALLY freaking out. I had to leave the cart in the store and haul her out under my arm like a sack of groceries. You should've seen the looks I got with my screaming kicking spitting flipped out child! One woman caught my eye and I said, this is God getting me back for all the times I've said under my breath hey lady can't you shut that kid up! I thought the lady was going to pee her pants she was laughing so hard.

And today, with my ever charming little 2 year old son at the used book store, running through it tossing books in his wake. Or at the dollar store so my poor long suffering 7 year old could get a treat. Her brother (evil boy) was having a tantrum attack while we waited in line. And of course the lady in front of us paid by check and her 2 little sweet children just stood and looked at my devil spawn. I usually don't take the little beastie shopping, but sometimes I have no choice. As for his behavior at WDW, let's just say we will be waiting awhile before we head back.

So all of you childless WDW travelers, I apologize for my loud tantrum throwing son. I hate it when I have to put up with other people's unruly children, but hate it more when they are my own! I always remove him, that is when I can, when he's acting up. We keep to his schedule as much as we can. I wouldn't like it if I couldn't eat/sleep/play when I wanted either.

Have fun!
Gretchen

 

[SuzieQMomof3]

Gretchen,

You are proof that a good sense of humor can defuse almost any situation.

Susan

 

[disneyfreakk]

Gretchen, what can i say but HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! and HAHA some more!

i cant speak for everyone else, but its not so much that childless people have no paitence for cranky kids its, more of the fact that some PARENTS dont disipline their kids!