Let me start this post by saying right up-front: I've never met a breakfast buffet I didn't like. I've had some great ones in my life: The Sunday brunch at Station Square in Pittsburgh is amazing; We LOVE the Boma Buffet at AKL; We have never been disappointed at Crystal Palace; and we have a local buffet here in Frederick, MD that is usually quite good called Dutch's Daughter. In other words, we're an easy audience. If it's got bacon and sausage gravy I am in! Make it a southern breakfast buffet with grits, and I am running my large frame quickly to the front of the line with my butter and sugar ready to go!
Unfortunately, the Beach House Breakfast Buffet was not one of those. . . not even close. . C'mon Disney!!!!! I'm an easy target! I'll stomach a Golden Corral feedbag spectacular with coffee swill on the side and find SOMETHING I like.
What went wrong? Well, the devil's in the details, right. . .
Hang on for the ride. . .
When we checked in to the hotel here was the flyer that advertised the Beach House Breakfast Buffet:
Now to be completely honest, my wife had read on these very Disboards how, shall we say, disappointing this breakfast buffet was.
"But honey," I said. "It has grits and sausage gravy! Plus, it will give us a chance to meet some DVC'rs!. . .Sausage Gravy, honey!. . . Grits, honey!. . . ."
"Please. . . "
My DW, always willing to give it a try for the team, reluctantly agreed.
Guys, at some point we have just got to learn to TRUST THE WIFE'S instinct when it comes to food and parties! They have some sort of internal radar that can spot a lame party/food that we just do not have. Don't try to understand, just appreciate it. . . .
We show up at 9:00 and look around. . . nobody there. . . Surely, the crowd must be hiding somewhere ready to yell "WELCOME". . . Hello. . . .anybody. . . Oh look, honey, there's two people right there. . . .That's it honey, two people and B'Lou. . . Suddenly, this buffet just turned into a BAD middle school dance.
The good news, we got to meet a GREAT DVC couple that morning. The bad news: we only got to meet two DVC'rs. Somebody got the memo that the buffet was awful. My wife just gave me the "told you so" look. . . Guys, you know the look, right? Remember:
Now, let's talk about the buffet. . . .
If any of the following appeals to you, let me direct you to a Disney breakfast buffet at Hilton Head: over-microwaved pancakes; ham that is "curled" on the edges from being out too long; bacon that is half-cooked; sausage gravy with a dark "film" over them; grits that are clumpy and sticky; and danishes that are more sugar than danish. . . Folks, I tend to be somewhat "forgiving" when it comes to Disney and food. To me it's a matter of ratios: I've had far more great meals than bad meals. But this was completely unacceptable.
The best food on the buffet? The bottled orange juice. . . .
In their defense, there was only 6 of us eating off the buffet. Then perhaps, just "blue skying" here, they should have just cooked for each of us separately? Heck, I can make a pretty good breakfast for 6 people. They've got a griddle and deep fryer right there! Head over to the Piggly Wiggly, buy some eggs, pancake mix, hash browns, and bacon and start taking our orders! Folks, there's no other way to put this. . . The buffet was awful. . .
B'Lou (the BEST part of the buffet breakfast) came over and started chatting with us. He's a great guy and a great people person. A true southern gentleman who knows how to tell a story and to keep conversations going. Plus, he plays a mean mandolin, ukelele and fiddle. I convinced myself that the almost $40 I paid for this party helped, in some way, to pay for B'Lou. He really is a shining star! Here's some pictures from his portion:
At one point while B'Lou played some great music, a cast member told DW and I that "we're still trying to figure out the whole buffet thing and what people want. . ."
(Sarcasm alert): I've got a good start for you. . . Serve food that people will actually want to come to! You may be surprised at the instant results! (Sarcasm over).
Look folks, I don't ever want to tell anybody to NOT do something, because your experience may be different. But, proceed with caution. . .
And, guys, listen to your wife's inner-"lame" radar. It's why in high school the hot, fun girls never showed-up at the lame parties you suffered through. . . .
They just knew. . . .
Next up: One Hot Mama's! Talk about a complete 180 on the food scale. . . .