I know you are tongue in cheek with this, but really...
This won't win me any friends here, but why do so many people have food in their carry on luggage? Why?
Most people are traveling domestically, you are looking in most cases at less than a 4 hour flight (6 hours if you are coming from Washington
).
If you think you will be hungry on the plane, eat after you go through security. Buy a snack after you go through security. Yes it's more expensive, but it's not that much.
I couldn't believe reading about all the people bringing all their Halloween candy back!!! It's snickers, skittles, etc...buy it at home for goodness sake. Or pack it in your luggage and check your bag. Same with snacks from Disney, pack in checked bags.
Sorry, we've stumbled across my pet peeves, carry on luggage in general, then adding food to the mix...aargh!