We are considering a
Disney Cruise wedding. One of our concerns is that our guests may be angry at us for requesting their presence at something costly and time consuming. We fully understand that many people may not be able to attend and have no ill will towards them. Would you be irritated at receiving an invitation that asked you to travel to a destination wedding and pay for your own trip?
It is your wedding and if a Disney Cruise is your dream then go for it.
I voted for the first one because that would be my result if I were one who felt that I should be invited to certain people's weddings (which I think is the majority). I am one who feels most no one owes me an invite. It is not presumptuous to host an expensive wedding but it is presumptuous to expect any guest to spend large amounts of money to attend. Anything more than driving and maybe one night hotel stay is more than I want to spend. And ironically the last time we did that .... we didn't get a thank you for coming, the spending for our family of five ... let alone a thank you for the nice gift we gave on top of that.
My response if invited ...
I am not paying or using DH vacation time to go to a destination wedding.
I especially wouldn't pay for a cruise, especially cost of Disney cruise.
When I cruise, it's to go where I pick, with who I pick.
And because of cost it's planned out years in advance.
There will be zero hard feelings if someone chose this, I would just send regrets and congrats!
You will have to be prepared for many not going, and sadly guests who think it's about them and get upset. Honestly except for my own kids, I don't feel anyone owes me an invitation .... I want them to do their wedding how and where they want .... and if it means I'm not invited or can't go ......... that is perfectly okay.
On the flip side, you shouldn't be upset when someone says no. Expecting someone to take a large amount of their money and extended vacation days (as opposed to single day or long weekend) to attend is unreasonable as well. I don't think it's rude it's just making it clear that the cruise is more important than them being there for your special day .... again, I'm fine with that because it is your special day but .......... I would rather not be invited at all then an expectation be put on me to spend that kind of money to "be there for you." While I won't feel guilty about not going, others will and put themselves in tight finances rather than speak up. That makes me sad.
Two examples:
- Had relative start the plans for a cruise wedding. Had a large list of people he wanted there. Put info out there. When virtually everyone but his sister and Dad said they would
not attend ... he changed it to a "destination" for him to next state but a location that was easy and reasonable for many to enjoy together. He could have still cruised but he wanted all the relatives with him.
- DD once talked of a cruise for a wedding with ceremony on cruise line's beach. BUT the invite list was going to be extremely small ... aka immediate family only with lots of advance notice. Then the idea was to have a big BBQ style party with others after home to celebrate because she would never ask people to spend that much by inviting them to an expensive destination.