I haven't been around in awhile, but, wanted to check in and see how things were going.
People have been saying some useful things and although you sound like you've let things get you down, you've also continued to stick with it and that's great.
On the speed issue, there is a psycho-educational measure called processing speed and as a species we fill a spectrum in terms of processing speed. Just like someone can be a Cy-Young winning pitcher and someone else can't even throw a ball 3 feet, processing speed has extremes. Most people are in a certain range, some people are fast, some people are slow, some people are really fast, some people are really slow, some people are extremely fast, and some people are extremely slow.
I know a guy who is so slow that he can't really call people on the phone because they hang-up thinking it's a crank call before he can process that the phone has been answered and create a responsive "hello". Yet, this same guy has specific areas where he manages to perform above normal. He has achieved those skills with excessive repetition and practice and a continued positive attitude and belief in his ability to do it.
I know that it's hard to feel like you aren't "good enough yet", but, the "yet" in that phrase is important. If you are able to concentrate on it as a "yet", then, you set yourself up to get there eventually. Even if it takes a long time, believing that you can get there and practicing at all times will help.
Some specifics:
- The Discovery Cove option sounds good. Get your application in soon.
- I think it's terrific that you are still working at this job and I hope you find a way to continue it (even if only a few hours a week) when you find another one.
- Could you find a large glove of another type and wear it when cutting things at home? (Likewise, keep the large glove with you and wear it when you are trying to do other things with your hands.) That way you'd be able to practice the feeling of having your hand impeded even when you aren't chopping.
