How Can Parents Be So Clueless?

[myhouseofmouse]

I'm done with this thread now, it's really sad Kids in the jungle are using machetes at 5 and climbing trees in bare feet to chop coconuts for their families but American children at 5 can't use blunt end safety scissors without supervision or even sit in a car alone

Lol ...the picture of these kids swinging through the trees wiith machetes and i really think the thred was done with u a while ago...just saying

 

[mandynee22]

Maryland Law ---

Law Summary
Children under the age of 8 may not be left unattended in a motor vehicle. A child is considered supervised if accompanied by someone age 13 or older.*

*Please note that even if a state does not have a specific law prohibiting adults from leaving children unattended, state and local prosecuters have the discretion to criminally charge adults under existing child endangerment laws.

Penalty
If found gulity of this misdemeanor, offenders are subject to a maximum $500 fine, or imprisonment of not more than 30 days, or both.

She's in Massachusetts, not Maryland. We don't have a law here. Unless there's imminent danger or extenuating circumstances (and I realize that a lot of people here think there was but chances are, the Powers That Be won't find that unless mom was intoxicated or there was a gun on the passenger seat etc) the police would have just told her it's not a good idea and moved on.
We also have no home alone law- like most other states even though a lot of people seem to think there is. I believe they do things like this so it's easier to be case by case

 

[jennyf2]

I probably would not have told her what I thought but I would have wanted to! Good for you for speaking your mind. Leaving a 5 year old in a running vehicle alone is ridiculous.

Agree

 

[ccgirl]

She's in Massachusetts, not Maryland. We don't have a law here. Unless there's imminent danger or extenuating circumstances (and I realize that a lot of people here think there was but chances are, the Powers That Be won't find that unless mom was intoxicated or there was a gun on the passenger seat etc) the police would have just told her it's not a good idea and moved on.
We also have no home alone law- like most other states even though a lot of people seem to think there is. I believe they do things like this so it's easier to be case by case

You are correct. I have spoken to family members that are both police officers and prosecutors, especially after that incident with my DD and they both said there were no laws against it. It is case by case. Certainly, if it was 100 degrees out and the child was locked in a car with all the windows up and no air conditioning on then they would charge them. But, for someone that just ran in a store for 15 minutes, nope.

 

[3pletprincesses]

I think you did the right thing by calling the police over however I would have left and not said a word that that person.

 

[DisneyFamily123]

She's in Massachusetts, not Maryland. We don't have a law here. Unless there's imminent danger or extenuating circumstances (and I realize that a lot of people here think there was but chances are, the Powers That Be won't find that unless mom was intoxicated or there was a gun on the passenger seat etc) the police would have just told her it's not a good idea and moved on.
We also have no home alone law- like most other states even though a lot of people seem to think there is. I believe they do things like this so it's easier to be case by case

I was just sharing what the law is here in the "Nanny State" of Maryland... Every situation is different. I've known some dogs who were friendly with the children in the family but if in the car would eat a stranger if they opened the door.... We have Nanny laws because people do dumb things.... and our politicians are Nannys....

Some places are more safe (not perfectly safe) than others. I won't let DS6 out of our sight except in very brief limited circumstances. Where I live, there are so many crackheads, perverts, violent criminals, and sick homeless wandering around.... I have to be careful. Really, I'm very careful everywhere we go... you just never know. He has plenty of opportunity to be independent, but I make the call about strangers. Maybe I read the newspaper too much.....

 

[jaceraden]

By 5 a child should be able to navigate a parking lot and know to look out for cars.

Are we saying that a 5 year old should be able to drive????? Well, I remember vividly what happened when an under 10 year old boy was left in a running truck. Thankfully he's still alive but his family's cottage didn't survive and the family is lucky he didn't drown in the river.

Thank You to the OP for doing SOMETHING. I don't know that I would have stayed to speak my mind after the law had it well in hand but at least you did something.

Parenting is a minefield as far as right/wrong but I can't wrap my head around the above poster's POV. It's got to be a joke. I really hope it is.

 

[noahdove]

Right or wrong what you did was try to impress upon the mom that the child was not safe. Any child in a running vehicle unattended is dangerous!!!!! Too many times a child will get in the driver's seat and decide to "play" driving..I know, I lost a little cousin due to his playing in the car. I am a mandated reporter and I know if I saw no police in the area I would have called for someone. Also, I would have been sure to take the license plate number just in case the driver came out of the store..

 

[tonums]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2000/02/23/national/main163981.shtml?source=search_story

Because of this, I could never leave my daughter in the car alone, especially at that age. Anyone living in the Kansas City area at the time




Oh my god. I would do almost anything to not have read that story. That baby was screaming for his mother. That made me physically ill.


I have a 5 year old. She can get out of her own booster seat, open the door and go wherever the hell she wants. I have almost gotten ran over in a parking lot and I am fairly intelligent. So, putting those two fact together I would venture to say a 5 year old should NOT be left alone on a car. Of course after reading the above story, I may never let them outta my sight at all.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

By 5 a child should be able to navigate a parking lot and know to look out for cars. Personally I would not leave the car running, but I'm not going to condemn someone who did. I would be more worried about the dog jumping around and knocking the car into gear, again a 5 year old should know better.

I know many, many 5-year olds (and even older kids) who are not even remotely able to navigate a parking lot, nor would I expect them to. Is their brain developed enough to be able to judge how fast a car is coming and whether or not they would have time to cross in front of it? Do they know that if a car has its brake lights on, it's probably about to back out of a space? Does a 5-year old know that he or she is probably too short for a driver to be able to see them behind their car? As much as you try to teach your child to be independent, their brains are simply not developed or wired yet to be in charge of their own safety in that kind of situation. I wouldn't be as worried about a stranger abduction as I would about the child getting bored or scared and getting out of the car to find mom. That would be a very avoidable tragedy.

 

[Hannathy]

There was no reason to call the cops on someone just because YOU disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in America that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

I'm not reading all 5 pages but I agree with this.

For a 5 yr old MYOB they were fine. The car was running so they had either air or heat so why can't they sit there?

I probably would have told you to keep your nose out of my business or laughed at you if you were yelling at me.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Are we saying that a 5 year old should be able to drive????? Well, I remember vividly what happened when an under 10 year old boy was left in a running truck. Thankfully he's still alive but his family's cottage didn't survive and the family is lucky he didn't drown in the river.

Thank You to the OP for doing SOMETHING. I don't know that I would have stayed to speak my mind after the law had it well in hand but at least you did something.

Parenting is a minefield as far as right/wrong but I can't wrap my head around the above poster's POV. It's got to be a joke. I really hope it is.

She is not joking. She is a kook. Read some of her older/previous posts and you will see more disturbing views of how she raises her children.

 

[pacrosby]

She is not joking. She is a kook. Read some of her older/previous posts and you will see more disturbing views of how she raises her children.

No, you both have misunderstood. She did not mean the 5 yo could navigate the parking lot in a car. She meant that if something happened and she needed Mom. she very well could've gotten herself out of the car and navigated her way through the parking lot to the store to find her mom. Go back and reread if you are in doubt.

 

[Wadecool]

I came out of the grocery store today and parked in front of my car was a high end car (not that it really matters what kind of car it was) RUNNING, wipers going, with a little girl and a small dog in the front seat. I was stunned. As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot. He approached the girl, found out her name, age, 5, and the fact that her mother was in the store. So we waited and waited. Roughly 15-20 minutes later out walks the mother. She wasn't even concerned that the police were at her car. To make a long story short, I had some not so kind words for her. She in turn told me to mind my own business numerous times, waving her hand in my face and so on. I guess I was a little stunned. I am sure nothing will happen to her, but the woman really needs some parenting tips.

To top it off, also today in a separate town, a car was stolen with a sleeping child in it. Apparently, the carjacker had second thoughts because that child is fine.

Okay, let me have it. Should I have gone on my merry way without contacting the police? Who else would have stuck their nose in the situation?
Any men out there who would have done the same?

Contacting the authorities is absolutely the right thing to do. The only further action I could see taking would be to take down the vehicle license number and description in case the person took off before the police arrived. Obviously in this case, officers were already on scene. There's no point in getting into a verbal confrontation though. People who do things like that are most likely not going to change that pattern of behavior because you spoke your mind.

 

[Wadecool]

There was no reason to call the cops on someone just because YOU disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in America that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

Want to know who else doesn't agree with that particular parenting choice? Many states who have enacted laws prohibiting leaving children alone in an unattended vehicle. CPS investigates situations like this all the time. I am thankful that America is the kind of place where it's not ok to leave a child alone in a car for any amount of time.

She doesn't have to agree with my parenting, but I'm positive that my parenting choices won't be breaking any laws.

 

[Wadecool]

Did you read the part about how the car thief returned the girl when he realized she was in the car??? Child abductions by strangers are incredibly rare, apparently even by criminals!

So based upon your logic here, you would be perfectly fine with leaving a child's safety in the hands of a car thief and just hope they would do the right thing and return the child?

 

[Wadecool]

I'll leave you and your ways that don't make any sense to me alone and I want you to leave me and my parenting choices alone without alerting the authorities that you disagree with me.

If I see your or anyone else's children alone in a vehicle, I will definitely call the authorities. Then at that point I would be happy to leave you alone to discuss your parenting choices with the responding officers. A warning though, the officer may not agree with you and might even choose to take action that you most definitely don't agree with.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

No, you both have misunderstood. She did not mean the 5 yo could navigate the parking lot in a car. She meant that if something happened and she needed Mom. she very well could've gotten herself out of the car and navigated her way through the parking lot to the store to find her mom. Go back and reread if you are in doubt.

I know perfectly well what she meant, I've been reading her crazy post here on the Dis for a while. If you will look at her other posts here, the majority are about her "free range" parenting and the judging of everyone else's parenting skills. No, I did not misundertand.

 

[Nancyg56]

Who am I? I am a mother who does not think it is okay to leave a young child in a running vehicle.

The officer did tell me that they could handle it which is when I left. Yelling your opinions at someone is hardly an altercation. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts.

I would assume that the officer was always capable of handling the situation and never would have inserted myself into the situation once he was on the scene. What you did was take a potentially dangerous situation that was under control and possible escalate it. You had no idea how your outburst was going to affect the woman and how she would react. Would you have felt justified if you goaded her into a physical reaction to you? At that point the child would be in protective custody while both of you were hauled away to explain.

I am also a parent who does not agree that a child should be left alone in a running vehicle. I do not feel the need to hang around waiting in order to reprimand another parent who already is up to her ears in a discussion with the police. I guess I am not puffed up with my own self-importance, I would have continued on my way and let teh person best equiped address the situation.

It is my opinion that you hung around because you got caught up in the drama and wanted to remain part of it. You have challenged the woman's judgement but by getting int eh middle of something that was none of you business and was already under control by a police officer you demonstrated that your judgement was also impaired.

I mostly feel sorry for that poor little girl. First, left alone in the car, then have the police there (but that part is a good thing), and then having to listen to a crazy loony scream at her mom. I don't know how a vocal tirade could make this situation better.

ITA. Once the officer was handling the incident the best thing would be to leave. That child was old enough to understand that her Mom had done something wrong and was already in some sort of trouble. It was not necessary to further increase the tension and distress that child was already under.

 

[pacrosby]

I know perfectly well what she meant, I've been reading her crazy post here on the Dis for a while. If you will look at her other posts here, the majority are about her "free range" parenting and the judging of everyone else's parenting skills. No, I did not misundertand.

Ummmm...the other poster asked if she meant that a 5 yo should be able to drive a car. You said 'yes, that's what she meant". Whether or not you think she is a kook and disagree with her parenting style is not the point. She didn't mean that a 5 yr old should be able to navigate the pkg lot while driving in a car.

As I see it, there seems to be a heck of a lot of judging going on from both sides