Had wake for my 47 yr. old sister today

[AnnaS]

I could not find the right words and still can't. It's been a tough few years for us in my family medically. The past 5 months have been surreal.

It all started with my dh 3 1/2 years ago with his heart problems (heart attacks, surgeries, etc.). Thank God he is still with us. Then his brother's melanoma had come back/spread and passed away at 47 a year ago this Feb. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My dad was diagnosed a year later with lung cancer and two months after that the same sister with stage 4 lung cancer. She did not make it one year (diagnosed 4/2010). While we were taking care of all three of them, my mom barely finished her treatments and she needed emergency surgery. She had a quadruple bypass, one heart valve replaced and one repaired. My parent's home was like a hospital these past 5 months. We have literally been there taking turns so we could be there 24/7 with them since November 1st.

My sister was our rock, our foundation, a second mom to us and all her nieces and nephews. We just lost my dad two months ago and now my sister. It has been too much to handle and it all seems like a nightmare.
I don't know how we did it and did not fall apart. We have been on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I believe God has given us the strength to get us through this and we pray that my sister is now resting and at peace with my dad.

Just needed to let it out after this unbelievable day.

 

[quasar4legs]

Dear Anna,

I am so sorry that you and your family have been through all these tragedies and cannot imagine the pain and grief that you are experiencing.

I am so sorry for the recent loss of your dad and sister and hope that you can find peace. I shall be keeping you and family in my thoughts and close to my heart

Please know that we are always here to listen and I am sending you a big Koala cuddle from 'down under'

Quasar

 

[mommasita]

That is a very rough time for you Anna.

I can not even begin to imagine what you have been through lately. I am so extremely sorry. You have such a marvelous outlook, and this will certainly help you through it.

Please be certain you are welcome here at any time. We are all here for you

 

[Brenle]

Anna,

I hope posting your thoughts helped you in some way. I am sorry to hear about your dad and sister's death only two months apart and will pray for them and you.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Anna - praying Gods peace and comfort for you in the days ahead. I am so sorry for your loss. I miss my dad and sister so much too. I pray God will give you the strength you need to get thorugh this.

 

[nancycg56]

I am so sorry

 

[kathie859]

I lost my DS when she was 40. She was the oldest and the "organizer" in the family. She kept us all together.

I know you hurt now but please know that time DOES heal. It took a long time but now I can think and talk about my DS without overwhelming sadness or tears. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[AnnaS]

Thank you everyone. Just feeling drained. I know it will get a little better with time. Thank you for listening.

 

[quasar4legs]

Thank you everyone. Just feeling drained. I know it will get a little better with time. Thank you for listening.

Be kind to yourself Anna, saying goodbye to the people we love is so painful.

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh, Anna - what a lot to handle! I often wonder when I see a family in extreme crisis - how do they hold up? I guess you just do what you have to do. You have my sympathy and more than a pat on the back for all you've done for your family.

Try to take care of yourself.

 

[Southerngirl71]

I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I have lost my dad and older brother and I know everyone says take it day by day but sometimes even that is too much. I say take it hour by hour. I also know that sometimes it is difficult to talk to your family so know that everyone is here if you need to talk. God bless.

 

[AnnaS]

Thank you again. I am having a hard time believing she is not here and sometimes I get through the day by making believe it did not happen.

I am sure it must be the same for many at first. We put on face, put on an act but deep inside you are miserable.

I like the hour by hour better.

 

[quasar4legs]

Thank you again. I am having a hard time believing she is not here and sometimes I get through the day by making believe it did not happen.

I am sure it must be the same for many at first. We put on face, put on an act but deep inside you are miserable.

I like the hour by hour better.

Hi Anna,
I remember that feeling of trying to look and act 'normal' when the reality is so different.

Thinking of you

Quasar

 

[mommasita]

Thinking of you also, and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. One day at a time.

 

[princessnoelly]

Anna,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sending you a big hug.
Noel

 

[TaraPA]

I'm so sorry for your sadness & losses. You said that your sister was the family rock & foundation, and that you don't know how you've been able to get through this without having a breakdown. Your sister left you a gift - her strength - you are now a rock, a foundation, and you will get through this, even if you feel that you can't. Like you said, one hour at a time. Huge to you Anna!

 

[Deesknee]

When I read your post my heart aches.

But you wrote..

"We have been on the brink of a nervous breakdown."

you wrote a singular even though you were speaking of a group. That struck me. I don't think that was a mistake. From the sounds of your family you are 1. A whole. Death doesn't change that.

My sincerest condolences in your losses. My prayers you find peace & comfort.

Dee

 

[jemmouse]

Having lost both my father and only sibling, my sister, they were 2 years apart, I understand. there are no words to express to you any kind of comfort. I have learned if you need to scream then scream, if you need to cry, cry, you need to take care of yourself and give yourself time. Right before I saw this thread I was feeling sad. I heard a song that reminded me of my sister, and just went to my sad place. It's been 7 years, and I still have days, not as many as before but they are still here. My dad was my hero in every aspect of my life.

There was a movie I watched after my sisters passing, " A Walk to Remember" with Mandy Moore. In it she passes and at the end there was a scene and a feather flying in the air anyway the saying the man said was about the wind, " even though you can't see it, you can feel it" it was a metaphor for his love for the girl who passed. I like to live by those words...even though I can't see my sister or dad, I can feel their love. It at time stinks but I can't change what happened and I have had to recreate and relearn a new normal that's all anyone can do.

I wish you strength when you feel defeated and alone. I wish you peace for when your mind won't stop your sadness. But most of all I wish that you will be surrounded by friends and family who will lend you their heart and will allow you to lean on them now. Thoughts to you and your family

 

[AnnaS]

Thank you so much everyone for all your kind words - they mean a lot. I know it will take time and we will never forget. Our lives have changed forever. I can't wait for the happy memories to fill me or for her and my dad to come to my dreams.

Yes, we are a whole - one unit. We are all really, really and I mean really close.

Thank you again for listening.

 

[mommasita]

Thank you so much everyone for all your kind words - they mean a lot. I know it will take time and we will never forget. Our lives have changed forever. I can't wait for the happy memories to fill me or for her and my dad to come to my dreams.

Yes, we are a whole - one unit. We are all really, really and I mean really close.

Thank you again for listening.