Grandsons getting ears pierced

[wenrob]

It's typically a feminine thing to do. Most women have pierced ears, while most most men do not. Are there exceptions? Of course and there always have been, but the overall trend is divided by sex, with ear piercing usually reserved for females in mainstream society.

I would only allow a hypothetical daughter (I have a son only) to get pierced ears, and even in that case, I would only allow for one piercing per ear. No pierced ears for a boy, and no piercings in other locations for either sex, or any tattoos, while they're under my roof. I also require my son to have a neat haircut, to shave, and to wear proper clothing. I have standards - go figure. If he doesn't like it, he can rebel on his own dime once he's a fully independent adult.

So your son is not allowed self expression with hair or clothes either?

 

[Suger Mag]

It's typically a feminine thing to do. Most women have pierced ears, while most most men do not. Are there exceptions? Of course and there always have been, but the overall trend is divided by sex, with ear piercing usually reserved for females in mainstream society.

I would only allow a hypothetical daughter (I have a son only) to get pierced ears, and even in that case, I would only allow for one piercing per ear. No pierced ears for a boy, and no piercings in other locations for either sex, or any tattoos, while they're under my roof. I also require my son to have a neat haircut, to shave, and to wear proper clothing. I have standards - go figure. If he doesn't like it, he can rebel on his own dime once he's a fully independent adult.

So... what is "Mainstream" society? Can you please explain? Do you have to live in a certain place? Make a certain amount of money? Be of a certain"type" or culture?

Over Asia... India... America... and many many parts of the world. Piercing is common amoung both genders. So... what is mainstream society? My husband has pierced ears... he is a professional. I hold a PhD in cellular and molecular biology and am a professional with multiple piercings and tatts... So is my son... We get up, go to work, pay our taxes.... I did not know we were not part of 'mainstream society"... so what are we part of?

I guess Otzi the Ice Man mummy found in the Alps was a rebel then.... over 5000 years ago with those pierced ears...

Someone better tell him that piercings were only for woman....

So many cultures on this planet use piercings for all genders, just becuase in your tiny corner of the world it is not aceptable (to you) .... that does not translate to ALL of mainstream society....

 

[tzolkin]

So your son is not allowed self expression with hair or clothes either?

Yeah, I’m not even sure what “proper clothing” means. Since their main concern was that they consider earrings to be “feminine” maybe they just meant that their male child had to wear (proper) “boys” clothes? But maybe they meant formal/dressy?

To me, “proper clothing” would be situational— work meeting, formal event, grocery store, date night, farm chores would all have different clothing that is appropriate for the activity. From my perspective there is no “improper clothing”, there’s are just times where it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear a certain outfit.

 

[wenrob]

Yeah, I’m not even sure what “proper clothing” means. Since their main concern was that they consider earrings to be “feminine” maybe they just meant that their male child had to wear (proper) “boys” clothes? But maybe they meant formal/dressy?

To me, “proper clothing” would be situational— work meeting, formal event, grocery store, date night, farm chores would all have different clothing that is appropriate for the activity. From my perspective there is no “improper clothing”, there’s are just times where it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear a certain outfit.

Granted it’s the internet but the overall tone of that post gives the impression of not a lot of choice.

Me? As long as it’s clean and not offensive wear what you want. Want to wear a tutu and combat boots? Go for it. But yeah, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wear that particular outfit to Grandpa’s funeral.

I think it bothers me more that there are “gender boxes” being checked here. Boys must look like this and girls must look like that.

 

[tzolkin]

I think it bothers me more that there are “gender boxes” being checked here. Boys must look like this and girls must look like that.

Yeah, the "I have standards" comment was a slight at the majority of people who have posted on this thread. But I wasn't 100% clear if it was from a snobby "my son is only allowed to dress properly in polo/khakis/jacket/tie" or a "my son is certainly not allowed to do anything 'girly' like wear earrings" angle.

I know there are some gender bending things that some people are uncomfortable with, but ear piercing doesn't even register on my radar of "feminine" or "things only for girls". Tons of very masculine "mainstream" men have their ears pierced. I don't tend to think of Morgan Freeman or Harrison Ford as "gender non-conforming" but they have pierced ears.

 

[KingAugie]

 

[MrsPete]

I encourage my kids to take whatever liberties make them feel good about themselves.

Thing is, I'm not sure my high school students get piercings or tattoos because it makes them feel good. I think a lot of them make these choices without much thought /because it's what everyone else is doing.

For example, a good number of my students get a tattoo on the day they turn 18. I've heard more than a few students say, "I did it because I am now allowed to do it." (These seem to be the same students who hide the tattoos from their parents.) Kinda like buying a drink the day you turn 21, but with permanent effects.

So your son is not allowed self expression with hair or clothes either?

Logical fallacy /strawman argument. You're stretching the comment to an absurdity to make the other poster's reasonable comment appear to be untrue.

King Augie, clearly that's a good looking guy, but the hoops detract from his looks.