Frustrated...angry...upset...Just need to vent

[JodyTG]

I'm so frustrated and I just need to get it off my chest with my DIS friends.

My family and I (DH, DS, DD) always go to WDW for about 10 days around Christmas, but since our 14 y/o daughter really wanted to bring a friend that could only go in the summer, we shortened this year's trip to 5 days so that we could go in June 2006 for 10 days.

Well...guess what! The friend now doesn't think that she can go because her mom doesn't want her sitting in a car from Dallas to Orlando. We're driving because I don't want our 18 month old son to fly yet (the ear pain thing). These people didn't even have the common courtesy to come and talk to us themselves, but instead sent a message through my DD.

I told DD to tell them that I need a decision tonight...no "maybe" or "I'm not sure"...just a simple "YES" or "NO". If she's not going, if at all possible, I want to cancel our June trip and expand our Christmas trip. Right now, we have reservations at BCV Dec. 25-30. I don't even know if ANY of the DVC hotels will have rooms available for the week before Christmas anymore. We've probably lost our chance to change anything.

Oh, and one more reason that I'm upset...we borrowed 71 points from 2006 to take the June vacation, so it's a "use it or lose it" deal for those points.

Do you guys understand why I'm so angry right now, or am I being a total jerk about it all?

Thanks for reading this (if you got all the way through ). I do feel a bit better by getting this off of my chest.

Jody

 

[Dean]

I'm so frustrated and I just need to get it off my chest with my DIS friends.

My family and I (DH, DS, DD) always go to WDW for about 10 days around Christmas, but since our 14 y/o daughter really wanted to bring a friend that could only go in the summer, we shortened this year's trip to 5 days so that we could go in June 2006 for 10 days.

Well...guess what! The friend now doesn't think that she can go because her mom doesn't want her sitting in a car from Dallas to Orlando. We're driving because I don't want our 10 month old son to fly yet (the ear pain thing). These people didn't even have the common courtesy to come and talk to us themselves, but instead sent a message through my DD.

I told DD to tell them that I need a decision tonight...no "maybe" or "I'm not sure"...just a simple "YES" or "NO". If she's not going, if at all possible, I want to cancel our June trip and expand our Christmas trip. Right now, we have reservations at BCV Dec. 25-30. I don't even know if ANY of the DVC hotels will have rooms available for the week before Christmas anymore. We've probably lost our chance to change anything.

Oh, and one more reason that I'm upset...we borrowed 71 points from 2006 to take the June vacation, so it's a "use it or lose it" deal for those points.

Do you guys understand why I'm so angry right now, or am I being a total jerk about it all?

Thanks for reading this (if you got all the way through ). I do feel a bit better by getting this off of my chest.

Jody

If you need to reduce your number of points, you could likely bank different points to do so. Sounds like you would have been better off calling them yourself so there's no avoidable confusion.

 

[SpoonfulofSugar]

I feel for you right now. My kids aren't old enough to take friends yet but even when they are I didn't think I will even consider it, and on the other side I hope none of their friends ask them so I don't have to say no. I feel it is family time and the kids will never be motivated to try to make new vacation friends with someone else alone.

That being said I feel they owe you a straight forward answer right away and we're not being a jerk. If they don't have the nerve to call I would call them and get it straight so you can finish your planning!

 

[PamOKW]

What's the saying...no good deed goes unpunished? It's hard enough to get extended family to commit to plans in advance. I think it's pretty much impossible to get a child's friend to commit. Heck, by the summer they may not even be friends! I agree that the you and parents should have now and should have had at the start a face to face discussion of the trip and who would be paying for what, etc.

I'd give them a call. If they don't commit 100%, see if you can book your December trip and be done with it. If they do still want their child to go on the trip, be prepared for them to change their minds again -- you never know when they'll be invited to family wedding, etc. Go into the summer trip as being for your family with the option that maybe one of your child's friends will join you -- this kid or someone else.

 

[WOW]

What a disappointing dilema.....I also would recommend that you call and speak directly to the parent and get things straight once and for all.

We never brought our children's friends because our vacation is always family time.......a good time to reinforce our bonds. No regrets on that issue.

Good Luck and I hope things work out for you.

 

[JimC]

Why don't you go in June anyway? Take another friend or just do it with the family.

 

[JodyTG]

The thing is, I did talk to her mom (they live right next door) at the beginning of the summer and got all of the details ironed out...how much money she'd need, the dates we'd be gone AND the fact that we'd be driving down. She had no problems with anything. She was actually excited that she could go with us. It's just now, over 3 months later, that she decided that her daughter can't go with us unless we fly down.

Well, we're not going to fly so she's not going. I'm going to call Member Services tomorrow and try to get our dates changed. If we can't expand our Christmas trip, I'm not sure what we're going to do. I guess that we could leave things the way that they are, but I'd rather stay longer at Christmas and not have to deal with the heat.

But, like someone said, no good deed goes unpunished, so this is just a learning experience for us, I guess. I just don't see us EVER inviting someone else to go with us.

Does anyone think that there will still be studios available at this late date?

 

[BillPA]

See if "MOM" will pay for the 2 girls to fly and meet you at WDW?

Good luck with finding a unit to add to the December trip. Don't get too upset, I have found things generally turn out for the better.

Smile, be glad your family is with you and enjoy Disney!!! Isn't thay why we all joined DVC, for great family time?

 

[rocketriter]

Have you actually said, "This change of direction is causing us a huge problem" and explained to her what you explained to us? She needs to hear--from you--that you shortened and moved your vacation for her family, with her permission, and that now your family will be stuck with the results if she backs out. It's possible to do this somewhat non-confrontationally, but you don't have to accept any guff about it either.

 

[SueOKW]

Looking forward to the resolution of this. I'm very sorry.

I know I worry about the first time my kids want to take a friend.

Have the mom send her kid alone to fly and arrive the day after you do. getting to the airport is very easy.

 

[JodyTG]

Well, I just got back from talking to the mom and learned that her daughter will not be going because she gets car sick. (Hmmm...first I've heard of this.) I told her that this change is putting us in a bad position with our reservation, but all she did was make that "I'm sorry" face and apologize again.

 

[SueOKW]

did the kids have a fight or drifted apart? this sounds like she's trying to get out of this without hurting anyone's feelings. just so odd since you prepped them so well. I would definitely encourage another friend to come along if you can't re-arrange your points.

 

[JodyTG]

No, they're as tight as ever. I can't understand what's going on either, except maybe her mom's going through a mid-life crisis or something.

 

[dis-happy]

I'm no mind reader, but I wonder if the Katrina disaster has made her feel more protective; perhaps she's worried about your car passing through the state of LA on the way to Orlando and something happening; sometimes it's events like that which really change people, their thinking, and their habits (look what happened to the airline industry after 9-11). Just a thought...

But regardless (and I totally understand how upset you are) don't forget there are two disappointed girls right now. You're smart to vent here, try not to make things worse for your daughter. And since they're your next door neighbors....

Most people will NEVER GET DVC and the commitment. To the rest of the world, a 9 month cancellation notice when no money has been put up probably seems like plenty of notice. Believe me, I have been holding my breath since committing 3 year's worth of points for a family Christmas stay this year.

Hope you find resolution in this. hugs.

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

I say relax and go with the two trips. June isn't so bad because the park hours are really long. You can just hang out at your hotel between 2pm and 6pm and then go to a late night park. It was nice of you to re-arrange your travel plans so your kid's friend could go along. Why not see if some other friend can go along? Or by the time summer comes maybe her mother would have gotten over her issue (it could be fear of her little darling traveling through hurricane alley).

 

[JodyTG]

You guys are great! Thanks for making me feel better.

I'll call MS tomorrow to see what I can do, but if nothing else, I guess we'll keep all of our reservations as they stand right now. This will give us 3 trips in a 12 month period. Time for an AP?

 

[Dean]

No, they're as tight as ever. I can't understand what's going on either, except maybe her mom's going through a mid-life crisis or something.

Another possibility is that there is another reason she doesn't want the child to go and is looking for a way out. It could be financial. We sent our son and several of his friends for a grad trip. My daughter and her best friend went as chaperones. While we provided the rooms and transportation and even selected restaurants that the DDE could be used, there was grumbling from the females involved. Everything was too expensive, etc. Our rules were fairly simple. We insisted they left together in the AM and had lunch together. That no one went anywhere alone and that the chaperones knew the basic location of all at any time. There was a curfew that depended on specifics but was not particularly restrictive. I'm glad we did it but would not again.

 

[Johnnie Fedora]

Note to self:
Never make DVC vacation plans that I won't be happy with if my fickle friends back out.

 

[lizziepooh]

I agree that there may be something else going on here. Maybe the daughter is having second thoughts about the trip and Mom is trying to get her out of it by using the excuse of car sickness. If the girls are close, it seems like your daughter would know if the friend is prone to car sickness. Ten days may seem like a long time away from home to the friend.

I feel for you and appreciate your post. I think I will only book dates based on my family preferences. If those dates work for an invited guest, fine. If not, well "sorry you can't join us".

Ten days of togetherness can be a lot for 14 year old girls. Maybe it is better that she isn't coming. If they start getting on each other's nerves and not getting along, it could be a long miserable trip for you. (I've been there, done that!).

 

[dianeschlicht]

Every time I have heard of folks having major problems, it has been when invited guests have insisted on traveling at a time other than when they were originally invited for. Seems like that is what is happening here too. Next time be firm about the dates, and if they can't go at that time, so be it.