Exchange students Wandering chicago

[momz]

our exchange student is arriving tomorrow!

She has been in Chicago with a group of 24 from her country. Apparently they don't have a planned agenda. They were told to go explore on their own in groups of 2-3. No other guidance whatsoever. They weren't told how to use the busses and trains so they are taking taxis everywhere. Also, DDs exchange partner told her that she was out very late (not sure the time) last night with 2 others. She was tired and didn't want to continue exploring the city in the middle of the night. The 2 others weren't ready to call it quits, so this girl took a taxi back to the hotel alone.

The idea of this girl who is 16 years old, speaks halting English and has never been outside of her country before, wandering around the downtown loop of Chicago on her own in the middle of the night worries me. There's nothing I can do about it. She has been in contact with DD quite a bit today, it seems she is overwhelmed and exhausted. She's also going through her cash pretty quickly.

I think I would be ok with DD in Chicago with friends touring during the daytime. But, DD has been there many times and knows how to navigate the busses/trains (and speaksEnglsh). However, I wouldn't want them there alone at night.

All in all, I'm looking forward to meeting her tomorrow, and welcoming her to our family.

 

[wgeo]

our exchange student is arriving tomorrow!

She has been in Chicago with a group of 24 from her country. Apparently they don't have a planned agenda. They were told to go explore on their own in groups of 2-3. No other guidance whatsoever. They weren't told how to use the busses and trains so they are taking taxis everywhere. Also, DDs exchange partner told her that she was out very late (not sure the time) last night with 2 others. She was tired and didn't want to continue exploring the city in the middle of the night. The 2 others weren't ready to call it quits, so this girl took a taxi back to the hotel alone.

The idea of this girl who is 16 years old, speaks halting English and has never been outside of her country before, wandering around the downtown loop of Chicago on her own in the middle of the night worries me. There's nothing I can do about it. She has been in contact with DD quite a bit today, it seems she is overwhelmed and exhausted. She's also going through her cash pretty quickly.

I think I would be ok with DD in Chicago with friends touring during the daytime. But, DD has been there many times and knows how to navigate the busses/trains (and speaksEnglsh). However, I wouldn't want them there alone at night.

All in all, I'm looking forward to meeting her tomorrow, and welcoming her to our family.

That raises some red flags about how the program is being run to me. But I'm glad she's in communication with your daughter and I hope everything goes well! Very exciting. How long is she staying with you?

 

[mousefan73]

As someone who lives in Germany this could also be a cultural difference 16-year-olds here are allowed to have alcohol ( beer/ wine is 16 ) and often wonder cities themselves alone at night to have fun. In general if this exchange student is from Europe they are a little bit more mature in years than most American high school students as far as freedoms goes. I am laughing thinking that these poor students are wandering the city at night trying to get into some club not realizing they have to be 21

 

[usnuzuloose]

My concern would be what if something happens while in your cater? Here it would be on you. Is there a curfew? If it were me I would pass. But that s me.

 

[L&Lfan]

I feel I'm missing something, but as you describe it, I thinks it's irresponsible and ridiculous. Sounds like the powers that be don't have that great an understanding of American culture. A bit naive...

 

[drinkme]

Where was she in the loop & how late? There’s not too much going on in the loop late at night unless it’s the theater.

If it was only like 10pm & she took a taxi she was fine. But I do agree that it seems rather irresponsible to allow 16 year olds from another country with limited English to go off on their own. Hopefully the kids were told to at least check in!

 

[momz]

OP here. The students are from Germany, so the culture difference must be some of it. Plus, I'm sure there's more to the story than what I'm getting so far.

She is not my responsibility until she arrives here tomorrow. But, even so, I am concerned with her welfare. In talking with my DD, we are not the only host family that is alarmed by this. When our kids went there, they were given time to explore Berlin, they were always together with their teacher taking them around the city. Here however, the teacher that brought the students from Germany holds her group to a different expectation, and so it's a free for all.

I am a nurse at an inner city hospital where I see people from all walks of life. I know there are some real crazy people and my imagination gets me worried sometimes. I just don't know if these kids understand the social issues we have here with drugs, gangs, sex trafficking, and just people taking advantage of others.

I will try to check my worry at the door.

 

[mousefan73]

OP here. The students are from Germany, so the culture difference must be some of it. Plus, I'm sure there's more to the story than what I'm getting so far.

She is not my responsibility until she arrives here tomorrow. But, even so, I am concerned with her welfare. In talking with my DD, we are not the only host family that is alarmed by this. When our kids went there, they were given time to explore Berlin, they were always together with their teacher taking them around the city. Here however, the teacher that brought the students from Germany holds her group to a different expectation, and so it's a free for all.

I am a nurse at an inner city hospital where I see people from all walks of life. I know there are some real crazy people and my imagination gets me worried sometimes. I just don't know if these kids understand the social issues we have here with drugs, gangs, sex trafficking, and just people taking advantage of others.

I will try to check my worry at the door.

In German big cities we have the same social issues. If these kids are from metro areas I wouldn’t be too concerned. They are street smart. Only difference socially is the gun issue. In Chicago a bigger issue. If you have more questions PN me. I am originally from Chicago area but now live in Germany. Raising kids here so Insee the differences. Parents here with teenagers are VERY laid back and hands off. Didnt think I was conservative in parenting until we moved here.
Most exchange students are briefed in cultural differences. Our intern works with one of the largest exchange programs. American rules and expectations for teenagers should not be a shock to any student doing an exchange program in the US. Big adaptions are no more alcohol ( legally) , earlier curfews and having boyfriend/ girlfriend spending the night ( in your bed) is usually not the norm for American 16/17 year olds! But in return you can drive a car!
This is off-topic but another adaption for any foreign exchange student is how high school teachers micromanage their grades. good example is homework in the US. doing your homework is part of your overall grade where in most German schools homework is a independent, not required thing you do to practice. Grades are mainly based on exams. Almost comparative to going to college. A friend of mine who was an exchange student almost failed because it took him a few months to Realize that him completing his homework was a requirement. He was getting Good grades on his tests and felt he didn’t need to do his homework as there was no point really since he knew everything anyways.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

In German big cities we have the same social issues. If these kids are from metro areas I wouldn’t be too concerned. They are street smart. Only difference socially is the gun issue. In Chicago a bigger issue. If you have more questions PN me. I am originally from Chicago but now live in Chicago.
Most exchange students are briefed in cultural differences. Big ones are no more alcohol, earlier curfews and having boyfriend/ girlfriend spending the night ( in your bed) is usually not the norm for 16/17 year olds! But in return you can drive a car!

I think in general teens from abroad, especially Germany, aren't babied as much as they are in the U.S. So I wouldn't be all that concerned, as you said, extremely street smart.

 

[mjkacmom]

On our yearly choir trips, kids are allowed time to explore without chaperones. They went off on their own in Montreal (ds was just there over spring break with a bunch of fraternity brothers and some got jumped outside a club and needed stitches).

 

[J'aime Paris]

We've had 2 exchange students, and I was an exchange student years ago. What a wonderful experience in all cases! Best wishes to you!
(In my experience, German exchange students had a strong grasp of the English language upon arrival. I'm sure she'll be fine)

 

[dish rag]

We wandered at a much earlier age than that. We figured things out. So many of the youth now are smothered.

 

[mnrose]

My German exchange student, here since August, took a trip to Chicago with about 20 of her German classmates. The 20 came as part of a 2.5 week trip in October. They all wandered the city on their own too. She thought nothing of it, and I didn't worry about her one bit. She was 16 at the time (since had a birthday), and they are well used to doing this in Berlin where she is from. In the main, I find her to be much more "mature" than her American contemporaries. I was told that a German 16 year old is like an American 19 year old, and I'd agree. My daughter is 18 months older than her, and you'd think they were same age (my daughter in America is considered "mature" for her age, and most people guess her to be older than she is). It's interesting to me.

When we went on a spring break trip to San Francisco, I allowed her and my daughter to explore the City on their own. They had no issues at all. It's been good for me to give my daughter more freedom than I otherwise might have felt comfortable doing.

My German exchange daughter thinks most American teens she has met are "babied" too much. It's a cultural thing. For example, she was surprised to learn that I did not allow my daughter to share a bed with her boyfriend in my home. Gulp. She has since learned that this is considered pretty normal in America, but in Berlin, it would be considered strange.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I let my DD18 go to NYC with 3 of her friends (no chaperone) for 4 days this Spring Break. I figured she'd gone to Paris, Madrid and Rome the summer before with a tour group and spent some time wandering around those cities with a couple of kids and did just fine. Parts of the tour were done with the group leader, but the kids had some free time in each city without the tour director. Her teacher let the kids go explore on their own for a couple of hours in groups. I know DD and friends took the subway to a cafe one night in Paris all by themselves.

 

[momz]

I appreciate the perspective. I don't have any issue with the kids going around Chicago during the daytime. But, I don't feel comfortable with them out in twos in the middle of the night. However, it is not my decision to make as she is not in my care until this evening. I can tell you that the other host families are of the same mind, we would not let our underage teens roam the streets of our own city after hours (meaning after any venue they could be at is closed), and likewise not in a city they are not familiar with. But, our kids are the "nerds" of the school...at least their parents are "nerds", lol.

I would probably allow it if they were attending an event and were leaving the event at it's conclusion. But, that is not the case. These kids are too young for the clubs and the theater is not in their budget. I supposed a movie theater would be, but I don't believe this is what they were doing.

 

[Kitty 34]

I appreciate the perspective. I don't have any issue with the kids going around Chicago during the daytime. But, I don't feel comfortable with them out in twos in the middle of the night. However, it is not my decision to make as she is not in my care until this evening. I can tell you that the other host families are of the same mind, we would not let our underage teens roam the streets of our own city after hours (meaning after any venue they could be at is closed), and likewise not in a city they are not familiar with. But, our kids are the "nerds" of the school...at least their parents are "nerds", lol.

I would probably allow it if they were attending an event and were leaving the event at it's conclusion. But, that is not the case. These kids are too young for the clubs and the theater is not in their budget. I supposed a movie theater would be, but I don't believe this is what they were doing.

I'm just curious....who was actually allowing these students to wander the streets of Chicago on their own?

 

[momz]

I'm just curious....who was actually allowing these students to wander the streets of Chicago on their own?

The teaching staff from their high school in Germany who were responsible for planning their time before coming to our community chose to plan nothing and let the kids plan for themselves.

This makes me so very thankful that our teacher put so much work into their time in Berlin. She had everything arranged, from transportation to tickets.

 

[CarolAnn856]

This makes me so very thankful that our teacher put so much work into their time in Berlin. She had everything arranged, from transportation to tickets.

That sounds a bit like a missed learning opportunity to me. Isn't becoming more independent one the advantages of exchange programs? Learning how to navigate a new city is such a good chance to learn and grow. I'm sure that siteseeing was a great experience, but helping the students gain a life skill would have made it even better.

 

[DopeyDame]

That sounds a bit like a missed learning opportunity to me. Isn't becoming more independent one the advantages of exchange programs? Learning how to navigate a new city is such a good chance to learn and grow. I'm sure that siteseeing was a great experience, but helping the students gain a life skill would have made it even better.

I'm with you!
I would think a middle ground would be great. I understand your concerned about kids "wandering around" a new city at night, but I would be sorely disappointed for my kids if they went on a school trip to Europe and were just shuttled from place to place without having/getting to learn how the transportation system, tickets, culture, etc .etc. work.

 

[OhMari]

The teaching staff from their high school in Germany who were responsible for planning their time before coming to our community chose to plan nothing and let the kids plan for themselves.

This makes me so very thankful that our teacher put so much work into their time in Berlin. She had everything arranged, from transportation to tickets.

Ok, so between your child's teacher and their teacher, I would voice my concerns. Hopefully you will meet with them, when you meet up with your student today. Downtown Chicago is a tad safe, but it is a very violent city. They average at least 5 murders if not more, in a weekend. Good luck, hopefully things will not be so stressful.

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/tag/weekend-violence/