Does anyone ever apologize anymore?

[asta]

I know these type of rants open me up for abuse but when did it become OK to not apologize when you obviously should. I have had something happen three times in the last two weeks where I am amazed that nothing was said. The first was in the line for Peter Pan at Disneyland. It was sunny, 80 plus degrees and the lady on one side of us was giving her baby a bottle. With the heat I am not surprised but the baby threw up. She held the baby out and let it spew all over my legs. The smelly stuff ran down my leg and into my sandal. The lady did not say one word to me. Thank goodness a lady on the other side of the queue had extra napkins she gave me to wipe up the mess on my leg. The woman with the baby was wearing a pretty long blue dress so I think her main goal was to keep the spit-up off of it but still you need to at least say 'I'm sorry'.

Then yesterday two different times I was run into at the grocery by other people pushing carts. Nothing said by either person. In one case I was standing at self checkout and a lady bumped me so hard that I fell into the scale thing holding the bags. She had one of those huge kid car/shopping carts and was trying to slip past the people checking out. At least in that case a store employee came over and apologized for her but she was long gone.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

 

[DaisyJ]

I know these type of rants open me up for abuse but when did it become OK to not apologize when you obviously should. I have had something happen three times in the last two weeks where I am amazed that nothing was said. The first was in the line for Peter Pan at Disneyland. It was sunny, 80 plus degrees and the lady on one side of us was giving her baby a bottle. With the heat I am not surprised but the baby threw up. She held the baby out and let it spew all over my legs. The smelly stuff ran down my leg and into my sandal. The lady did not say one word to me. Thank goodness a lady on the other side of the queue had extra napkins she gave me to wipe up the mess on my leg. The woman with the baby was wearing a pretty long blue dress so I think her main goal was to keep the spit-up off of it but still you need to at least say 'I'm sorry'.

Then yesterday two different times I was run into at the grocery by other people pushing carts. Nothing said by either person. In one case I was standing at self checkout and a lady bumped me so hard that I fell into the scale thing holding the bags. She had one of those huge kid car/shopping carts and was trying to slip past the people checking out. At least in that case a store employee came over and apologized for her but she was long gone.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

Inexcusable in all three situations.

 

[hereyago]

Some people are too embarassed and other people are just crap.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I must live in a different world cause everyone apologizes where I live including me

 

[Klayfish]

I'm sorry to hear about that.

 

[asta]

I'm sorry to hear about that.

Thanks for the apology

 

[MIGrandma]

The second two episodes the OP mentioned would have annoyed me, but the first one is absolutely inexcusable to not apologize for it. Gross!! I know if it happened to me I would not have been able to keep myself from telling her what I thought. She should have been very apologetic to the OP. Wow.

I think some people are just plain losing their sense of manners these days, also not bothering to teach their children basic manners as well. Very sad.

If I inadvertently do something to another person like bump them with my cart or step in their way, etc. I always apologize.

I try to hold doors open for people if I see they might struggle with the door themselves, and most of the time the people say thank-you but there have been times that people will just breeze on through and I always say "you're welcome!" in a raised voice. Some are just oblivious that the door was being held for them, and a light bulb suddenly goes off and then they say "oh, thank you."

 

[soccerdad72]

It's a millennial thing

 

[Micca]

 

[Luv Bunnies]

It's not just apologies that are lacking, but social graces in general! When you buy something and give someone money, shouldn't they say thank you? Or are they doing me a favor by giving me what I paid for? When I worked at McDonald's (many years ago), it was drilled into our heads that when someone gives you money, you say thank you. They are doing you a favor by buying something, which in turn pays your salary. You are being paid to do your job, not doing the customer a favor. Thank them when they give you the money, give them their order, and thank them again! Now when I walk up the register, I am rarely greeted with a smile, and "Hi may I take your order, etc." It's usually a blank stare or in one case, "Go ahead." When I hand them money, there's no response. When they hand me my order, there's not much more than a "here go you." When I say, "Thank you," as kind of a hint, I usually get, "No problem" or "No worries." Why would it be a problem and why should I worry about buying something from you?

 

[adisneyaunt]

Imho...
I would like to see the presiding Mass. Judge ..
Apologize to the family of deceased Conrad Roy. A very sad day

The judge Just allowed the CONVICTED Manslaughter defendant to walk....
He handed down 15 mos, then discounted that ... then Stayed it all..
Until an Appeal is heard.
She walks...

RIP Conrad Roy. Pray for the Roy family

 

[RangerPooh]

I think it's a cultural thing. I was brought up saying please and thank you and apologizing for things like that. Since moving from the west coast to Memphis, TN I've noticed a lot of rude inexcusable behavior. I think that there's a chunk of the population that doesn't bother to teach manners and could care less about others.

 

[HelloTheDrakes]

It's a millennial thing

 

[BLAZEY]

No, not an issue where I live, but I live in Canada. Twice in the US on my last 2 holidays. Disney World in March, I was run over from behind with a stroller,(my lifted foot was caught under the from of her stroller) the lady sped off as my daughter screamed "That lady ran over my mummy with her stroller." By this time I was on the ground bleeding, cast members running over, and my husband trying to come back through as he had gone through the bag check line. We were escorted to first aid to deal with the blood and give a fastpass for our trouble. The cast members were wonderful, but how could that lady not have known she had hit me is beyond comprehension. The second was in Target this past weekend, this time my foot was run over by a cart from the side. I said Oww, not a reaction or apology from the cart's driver. I need to start wearing steel toed boot to the US.

In Canada, saying I'm sorry is not an admission of guilt. http://www.bclaws.ca/Recon/document/ID/freeside/00_06019_01

 

[wilkeliza]

The cart ones while bad I probably would have fumed then gotten over it by the time I was in the parking lot. The Disneyland one though purposefully letting your kid spew on me instead of taking it yourself and then not apologizing I definitely would have said something. Accidents happen but turning the kid in a line where others are standing to let them puke so you don't get it just boggles my mind where did she think it was going to go?

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

It's not just apologies that are lacking, but social graces in general! When you buy something and give someone money, shouldn't they say thank you? Or are they doing me a favor by giving me what I paid for? When I worked at McDonald's (many years ago), it was drilled into our heads that when someone gives you money, you say thank you. They are doing you a favor by buying something, which in turn pays your salary. You are being paid to do your job, not doing the customer a favor. Thank them when they give you the money, give them their order, and thank them again! Now when I walk up the register, I am rarely greeted with a smile, and "Hi may I take your order, etc." It's usually a blank stare or in one case, "Go ahead." When I hand them money, there's no response. When they hand me my order, there's not much more than a "here go you." When I say, "Thank you," as kind of a hint, I usually get, "No problem" or "No worries." Why would it be a problem and why should I worry about buying something from you?

I don't view it that way at all I see as a service that they made my food or smoothie I see as a service that they waited on me so I can get what I want or needed that day so no I don't see in the above scenario that I did them a favor I see they did me one

 

[Magpie]

No, not an issue where I live, but I live in Canada. Twice in the US on my last 2 holidays. Disney World in March, I was run over from behind with a stroller,(my lifted foot was caught under the from of her stroller) the lady sped off as my daughter screamed "That lady ran over my mummy with her stroller." By this time I was on the ground bleeding, cast members running over, and my husband trying to come back through as he had gone through the bag check line. We were escorted to first aid to deal with the blood and give a fastpass for our trouble. The cast members were wonderful, but how could that lady not have known she had hit me is beyond comprehension. The second was in Target this past weekend, this time my foot was run over by a cart from the side. I said Oww, not a reaction or apology from the cart's driver. I need to start wearing steel toed boot to the US.

In Canada, saying I'm sorry is not an admission of guilt. http://www.bclaws.ca/Recon/document/ID/freeside/00_06019_01

I was hoping to see a fellow Canadian in this thread! Thank you for the link on the legal differences. I'd also add, culturally speaking, there are many different meanings the word "sorry" can have...



There's the sincere, "Sorry!" which has a slight rise at the end and is said quickly. That's what you say when you (gently) brush into someone, or cut them off walking.

The even quicker spoken, "Sorry!" which is an expression of surprise or startlement. This is what you say to the lamppost when you've walked into it.

The, "Oh God, I'm SO sorry! Are you okay?" For times when you've mowed someone down with your shopping cart or let your baby spit up on them.

The eyeroll combined with an annoyed, "So--orry!" if you think they're overreacting or being ridiculous.

The questioning, "Sorry?" when you're confused and need someone to explain what they've just said. It basically means the same as, "Wut?"

The "Sorry-sorry!" if you've just embarrassed yourself. Dropping the toast butter side down is a good time to use this one. It's not directed at anyone or anything.

The empathic, "I'm so sorry!" which just means, "I feel sorry for you."

And the purely passive-aggressive, flat-toned, "Sorry if I've upset you." Which usually leads to the other person hollering, "No, you're NOT!"

Yes, in Canada, "Sorry" can even be the equivalent of putting a middle finger up, depending on how it's said.


For the record, I apologize a lot.

 

[BLAZEY]

I was hoping to see a fellow Canadian in this thread! Thank you for the link on the legal differences. I'd also add, culturally speaking, there are many different meanings the word "sorry" can have...



There's the sincere, "Sorry!" which has a slight rise at the end and is said quickly. That's what you say when you (gently) brush into someone, or cut them off walking.

The even quicker spoken, "Sorry!" which is an expression of surprise or startlement. This is what you say to the lamppost when you've walked into it.

The, "Oh God, I'm SO sorry! Are you okay?" For times when you've mowed someone down with your shopping cart or let your baby spit up on them.

The eyeroll combined with an annoyed, "So--orry!" if you think they're overreacting or being ridiculous.

The questioning, "Sorry?" when you're confused and need someone to explain what they've just said. It basically means the same as, "Wut?"

The "Sorry-sorry!" if you've just embarrassed yourself. Dropping the toast butter side down is a good time to use this one. It's not directed at anyone or anything.

The empathic, "I'm so sorry!" which just means, "I feel sorry for you."

And the purely passive-aggressive, flat-toned, "Sorry if I've upset you." Which usually leads to the other person hollering, "No, you're NOT!"

Yes, in Canada, "Sorry" can even be the equivalent of putting a middle finger up, depending on how it's said.


For the record, I apologize a lot.

Yes, intonation and emphasis can give Sorry a multitude of meanings. I am a klutz (Their Queen, according to my DH) so I say sorry quite often. I linked the BC law as that's where I'm from, but there are others for different Provinces.

 

[soccerdad72]

I know it's not actually all millennials (that was a little snarky on my part), but my recent experience seemed to lean towards people being, for lack of a better phrase, "young and arrogant".

My son's high school soccer team was playing in a pre-season soccer tournament over the weekend and their games on Sunday started really early (7:50am). Saturday night, after their last game, they were told by the coaches (who are all in their mid-20s) to be there by 7:15 for warmups. Most boys got there between 7:10 and 7:20, with those arriving a few minutes late worried that the coaches were going to be mad at them. Didn't matter - there were no coaches there. In fact, none of them arrived until 10 minutes before the game.

After the game, I asked my son what the coaches said when they got there. He said they basically said nothing except, "Hey guys". Seriously, the first words out of their mouths really should have been, "Sorry guys that we're late". But there's a level of arrogance with these guys (and, often youth in general) that seems to preclude them from admitting that maybe they're in the wrong. I know that if they were there on time, they would have ripped into anyone who was there late.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

I was hoping to see a fellow Canadian in this thread! Thank you for the link on the legal differences. I'd also add, culturally speaking, there are many different meanings the word "sorry" can have...



There's the sincere, "Sorry!" which has a slight rise at the end and is said quickly. That's what you say when you (gently) brush into someone, or cut them off walking.

The even quicker spoken, "Sorry!" which is an expression of surprise or startlement. This is what you say to the lamppost when you've walked into it.

The, "Oh God, I'm SO sorry! Are you okay?" For times when you've mowed someone down with your shopping cart or let your baby spit up on them.

The eyeroll combined with an annoyed, "So--orry!" if you think they're overreacting or being ridiculous.

The questioning, "Sorry?" when you're confused and need someone to explain what they've just said. It basically means the same as, "Wut?"

The "Sorry-sorry!" if you've just embarrassed yourself. Dropping the toast butter side down is a good time to use this one. It's not directed at anyone or anything.

The empathic, "I'm so sorry!" which just means, "I feel sorry for you."

And the purely passive-aggressive, flat-toned, "Sorry if I've upset you." Which usually leads to the other person hollering, "No, you're NOT!"

Yes, in Canada, "Sorry" can even be the equivalent of putting a middle finger up, depending on how it's said.


For the record, I apologize a lot.

This was so fun to read! Thank you! Reading on my phone, as I slowly scrolled down I found myself hoping it wouldn't end. I'm only sorry it didn't go on longer.

Oh, and if I ever visit Canada I will be sure to apologize both ways.....at the same time........frequently.......and with enthusiasm.