Depression

[TnRobin]

I am so glad to see this thread and thank the person with the bravery to take the first step and start it.

My bout with depression started last year with my mom being diagnosed and later passing away from cancer. Through the help of my little "happy pill," I was able to make it through. I am curerntly med free for the most part, but still am dealing with episodes.

Thanks for the opportunity to talk.

 

[pjb_hockey_mom]

Just wanted to say hi to everyone and thank you for being so brave in sharing your experiences!

It's raw and rainy and just down right yucky up here....good time to take a nap!

 

[athenna]

Just wanted to send hugs to everyone here and know you are not alone!

 

[Shugardrawers]

I suffered from depression long before I was diagnosed with cancer. It's not something that you take a pill and it goes away. It's a chronic disease that requires lifelong treatment. My Dh and I have been married 5 years and he's only just recently seen me in the middle of a real depressive phase. He isn't coping well with it

Our generation is the first one that it's been ok to admit to feeling this way and seeking treatment for it. Trust me, you are far from alone

 

[plgrn]

Our generation is the first one that it's been ok to admit to feeling this way and seeking treatment for it.

I'm so thankful for that! Otherwise, I'd be in a "heap of trouble"

 

[VictoriaT]

It's really nice to know I am not alone in this! You never realize how many people have it until someone is brave enough to bring it out in the open! I believe most people still believe it is a taboo topic. My MIL acts like it doesn't exist, which makes life rather difficult for me. I've been battling for four years, many ups and downs. One of these days, I'm going to try to move to a sunnier state to try to eliminate the SAD portion of the disease. We can all get through it! It just takes time.

 

[rie'smom]

SAD UGH !! About 3 weeks ago,I had a bout,which,of course,scared me-my first thoughts when the dark days come on is:OMG,am I going back to the hospital? Then, I realized what it was and I calmed down and my mood began to lighten. Even though it was raining,I stepped out onto the patio and looked toward the sky and stared at a sliver of light and thanked God. Phew!! made it through again.
Do y'all feel kinda like that? As though you are fighting an internal battle and after coming through,you're as exhausted as though you had fought a physical battle? Exhausted but exhilirated that you've come out and beat the depression.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

When my Mom died, I think I almost lost it......took me a long time to come around, I did it myself and probably should have looked for help.......but this was many years ago...

I have to say right now, I feel pretty down about my husband being ill again and it scares the life out of me.....I think I might try one of the cancer support groups at the hospital and see if that does it for me. If not, I will be looking to talk to someone about it.

I am sitting here typing and I am exhausted and yet I cannot sleep. This being down and out is not easy...

Hugs everyone.

 

[pjb_hockey_mom]

Marsha, I think the support group is a great idea! And I think you'll be surprised at how good it might feel to get out and talk to others who are going through the same thing.

Blah day today. The weather up here has been so yucky, I'm looking forward to tomorrow and getting outside, watching my son play hockey, and seeing some sun.

Take care of you everyone!

 

[plgrn]

The weather up here has been so yucky, I'm looking forward to tomorrow and getting outside, watching my son play hockey, and seeing some sun.

Same here! After two days of gloom and rain I was ready to see the sun again. I took our dog for a 2 mile walk today and that did a world of good for both of us! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

[mom+3girls]

I suffered with post pardum depression with all of my kids and it got worse with each. With the third one I was a passenger in a car that my now ex husband was driving I wanted to jump out the window as he was going down the road doing about 70 miles and hour. I was also in a very bad marriage I was taking 40 mg of prozac .5 mg Ativan 2 times daily and 3 different blood pressure meds my BP hoovered around 144/104.
I am now divorced.
My husband left me in Nov 2000 and 6 mo later I was taken off of all my BP meds and we started tapering my prozac down, I am not taking any meds for depression at this time, I do have the ativan to take just in case. I probably take one once a month. I went to counseling for about 4 years and spent enough to buy house but hey I feel better.

Divorce was good for me.
My ex said to me one day that he was sorry that he made me so sick.

I hope everyone of you that suffer know that you are not alone and that there is hope and help for us.
I want to add that I am thankful for this forum. And threads like this one.

 

[angelbaby29871]

hi.its really great to find a thread like this. i've suffered from depression since i was a child with some periods being worse than others. its hard to find people that don't judge you for being weak to suffer from depression and a good few times i've been called weakminded for 'letting it get to me'. it was only after finding the support from my now DH and getting my family to understand that i realise i'm not the weak one. its hard sometimes just to get up in the mornings but i do. to everyone who has been there and understands what its like and that it does get easier.

 

[Shugardrawers]

It's taken me a long time but I've finally gotten it through my head that for me, antidepressant meds are like some people and their heart meds or blood pressure pills. It's just something I'll have to take all my life. It's hard to see this as a medical condition but the total difference in me when I'm on meds and when I'm off makes it obvious it is. There are millions of us out there and there's no reason for us to hide or feel embarassed anymore. We aren't abnormal, we have a treatable medical condition.

 

[nancyL]

Wow. What a great find this thread was. I was just thinking earlier today what NYMomof3 said. I look around and see all these happy people around me and I tear up and think- thats all I want. I just want to be like them. Is that so hard? Then I read on and I see Mom+3girls post and I laughed. I too am in a bad marriage and on 40 mg of Prozac. Without it I think I would be suicidal. I too have 3 kids (coincidence or what? grin). Add to the craziness, what I do for a living is work with autistic kids. I happen to like them more than most "regular" kids. They are a gift and dont ever get depressed about having one. Yes, they are harder to live with and raise, but they also reward you much more. And with appropriate intervention (ABA and other therapies) they can AND DO grow up to live normal healthy lives. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. OK? God has chosen you to have one- dont be mad at Him. He will not give you more than you can handle.
Back to me (grin). I have managed for years to just "pretend Im normal" except I just take Prozac to help and I push away the tears until Im alone and then I cry. Im an expert at hiding the evidence. Lately its been getting harder and harder to push it away and pretend. Maybe you guys can help. I really think its all situational due to the bad marriage (no abuse, he's just a jerk and I dont love him anymore) and stuff- but Im in it for the kids- 12 more years and I can go on my own. It just seems far far away right now...I wonder if Im so used to being depressed its getting to be a normal state for me. I worry about it. I was always such a happy "up" person. And I liked myself that way.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hi Nancy and glad you found us.. I am digesting what you posted and I thought wow, she is amazing. Not happily married, she has children and works with autistic children and plugs along each day looking for the happiness for herself, which I have to say I think she deserves....

When you need a hug, or want to just vent, come here and we will be here for you. I have to tell you it is hard to feel down every day and I am doing my very best to stay positive in my situation, but is not easy. I do not suffer from what you all have, and even saying that, I can get down and weepy. I cannot imagine what the struggle is to have to deal with that everyday.. Hugs and for what it is worth, we are here for you....someone is always awake and posting.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Saw a good article on MSN this morning (yep, I am a morning person, sitting here in front of my light box right now, and it does help me.)

http://health.msn.com/centers/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100148348&GT1=8769

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

Saw a good article on MSN this morning (yep, I am a morning person, sitting here in front of my light box right now, and it does help me.)

http://health.msn.com/centers/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100148348&GT1=8769

Thanks for posting that link - it was a very interesting article! I had no idea that light therapy might also help people with mild non-SAD depression. I wonder if my DH would benefit from it. I have a light box that I used to use daily starting in mid-October through March or April (depending on how I felt each year). Now that I have been blessed in moving to a sunnier and milder climate, I just use it when it's overcast or if the shorter days are getting to me. San Jose averages 300 days of sunshine a year, but the 65 non-sunny days all tend to fall in a clump in the winter (aka the rainy season). Since moving here, I've tried to get outside for at least an hour each day it isn't raining, and it has really helped my SAD.

DH has some mild depression, although he won't admit it. I don't know if it's a guy thing or a DH thing, but he sees depression as a weakness and so would never seek treatment for it because he doesn't want to admit that he's "weak". He's fine with me going for treatment for my depression, but doesn't want to do it himself and denies it if I even begin to suggest that he'd find it helpful.

So has anyone tried one of the "sunrise" lamps/alarms? I'm starting to see them in more catalogs and stores - it gradually gets brighter in the morning to simulate a sunrise. I used to have 4 small lamps in my bedroom set on timers to gradually light up my room each morning to help me get out of bed during the SAD months, but they were a little too bright for DH to handle so I'm wondering if the sunrise alarm/lamp thing might be a good route to go. Anyone have one or know someone who does?

 

[nancyL]

So my NSDH (not so D-grin) announced last week that he was moving to Florida for his company in March. We live in NJ. (where my family and friends are- my kids are here- they are growing up here- ages 6, 8, 12) None of "us"- me and the kids- want to move. No discussion- just "this is how it is". Long story short- he's had several (good) jobs over the years- last Nov he up and quit his job (did what we all dream of doing but dont because WE are all responsible adults) and didnt get another one till Feb- he didnt start looking till Jan. Anyway, what he does is not exactly easy to find- its a specialty manufacturing position so basically if he dosnt go, he's out of work again.
Sigh. I cant even bring my thoughts further than "I dont want to move". My daughter (12) does nothing but cry every time I try to talk about it with her. Im not much better. Its like a good hour if I can get through it without the tears....So much for trying to get through a day.........Dont get me wrong, I LOVE to visit Fla, and I wanted to RETIRE there someday. But not for at least till my kids grew up! And I sure didtn want to go there WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, I cant trust everything he says- he's just slipped around the truth too many times with me for me to believe every thing he says about the "perks" and salary. I can just see getting there and finding out certian things arent what they were supposed to be (like salary and company car, moving expenses, health insurance etc). The cost of living difference is such that once there, we wont be able to afford coming back up north.
My parents are devastated (they live nearby) as is my brother and sister in laws (they also live near by). Obviously he dosnt care- he hates my family...Mutual of course...If any of you are praying folk- please send a few up for me? Is God trying to tell me something? What?
Thanks guys.......Needed the vent...

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs Nancy.....I am not sure what to say here, but vent away anytime.

I can only equate this to one time my husband got a job offer in California... not that there is anything wrong with CA, but our whole family, including my Mom who was alive then, lived on the EAst Coast.. He asked me what I thought and I said I did not want to move to CA...I did not want to leave my Mom, and did not want to bring my kids up in the fast lane or what I thought was the fast lane, being a woman from Boston. The guy who took the job did very well and made lots of money....I got to spend time more time with my Mom who did not live a long time and he got to spend more time with his parents........I think we made the right decision for us..

I hope all works out for you and your children..

 

[athenna]

I will say my prayers for you Nancy, and will send pixie dust.