pkondz
Brace yourself for immediate disintegration
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2007
And so it begins
Hi!
And welcome to another Canadian Buffoon Vacation!
Before we get started...
Wait... Who's this "we"? It's a solo vacation, isn't it?
Well I guess that would be me... and you!
Yes you! You lucky reader, you get to relive the excitement and majesty of going to Disney World without actually going there!!!
Don't you feel awesome now?
Don'tcha?
No?
Well, I'll write about it anyway, and you can read on and decide for yourself, OK?
What?
Who am I?
Some of you already know, but for those who don't, a little about myself.
I first went to Disney World when Disney World and Magic Kingdom were the same thing.
No Animal Kingdom, no Hollywood Studios or MGM or even an Epcot!
So that pretty much clues you in that I is one old dude.
Which factors into why I'm going on this solo trip in the first place.
More on that later.
First I better post a picture of me to scare the children with.
Hmmm...
That's a bit problematic.
You see, when you go on a solo trip, you don't tend to take many pictures of yourself.
(Ha! I just shocked every selfie-loving teenager out there!)
Nevertheless, I found a loophole.
Disney can take pictures of you while you stand there trying not to look stupid!
Well, for reasons that will become clear shortly, this wasn't going to happen...
at least not much.
I mean, the looking stupid part? Yes.
Shelling out a hundred and seventy bucks? No.
But I did spring for a few pics.
Let's see.
I need to make a good first impression.
Something that eloquently and accurately portrays my maturity and proper upbringing and stature.
This should do...
Subtle, no?
Okay, now that I've just lost most of my readers,
I'll continue on for the benefit of the two or three hardy souls who obviously have strong stomachs
or have simply lost the will to live full and productive lives and instead are choosing to read on.
I feel for you. I really do.
Before we get to the point where I'm sitting on Rock 'n' Roller Coaster mugging furiously for the camera,
I better explain just how this trip came to be.
Especially since some of you know that there wasn't any likelihood of it happening in the first place!
Last year I had a milestone birthday.
If you're guessing 30 or 40, you have just become my new best friend.
On the other hand if you're thinking 80....
Expect to one day answer your doorbell to a burning sack of offal.
Really!
80???
So cruel.
As I was saying, last year I had a milestone birthday.
My parents were kind enough to provide me with some cash as a birthday gift.
My MIL did too.
Great! What do I do with my windfall?
If you get birthday money and use it to pay off debt or to pay bills...
Well, you do what you gotta do, but this boy ain't gonna do that!
Spend those puppies!
Preferably on something that you normally wouldn't spend money on.
I had a few thoughts... and Disney wasn't one of them.
Why? Because while my parents and MIL were very generous, it wasn't enough to pay for a Disney vacation.
A vacation wasn't even on the radar.
Stuff was.
Maybe a new camera lens.
Maybe an add-on for my Harley.
However.
Christmas wasn't too far off...
My folks and MIL usually give us all some cash then too...
If I combine my gifts... this could work.
Maybe.
Disney is not next door.
It's about two thousand miles away.
Walking would take over six hundred hours... one way!
Frankly, I just don't have that kind of time.
I could drive, I suppose. But where's the fun in that?
Actually, driving wasn't really an option either.
Non-stop, you're still looking at thirty hours.
I didn't want to take too much time off work,
and I especially didn't want to take that much time away from my family.
I have every confidence in my wife, Ruby and my daughters are old enough (14 & 17) that they can take care of themselves, but...
I still want to be there to make things easier for everyone, ya know?
My only real option was to fly.
(Or to teleport, but since the technology isn't quite there yet...)
Flying, and I don't want to shock anyone here, but... flying is expensive.
No! Really! It is!
Well, maybe not if you happen to work in, or have a family member who works in the industry.
I, unfortunately, do not.
Although we keep telling Elle (my oldest DD) she should apply for WestJet.
We really don't care if she wants to or not.
We've paid for her childhood, it's time she starts paying us back!
It's the least she could do, don't you think?
But I did have some airmiles saved up.
Maybe I'll just take a peek and see what's available.
Probably nothing.
Since you usually have to book six months in advance if you even want a shot at getting seats.
At least to Florida.
But you never know.
I don't know why, but it seems to be a popular winter destination for Canadians.
I was looking to go in about three months. Value season. i.e. (hopefully) slow season.
And (definitely) cheap season.
(Value being a Disney term for "We'll wring every last penny out of you anyway,
so we'll trick you into coming when you think you'll save some cash.")
I took a look on the airmiles site and low and behold they still had flights available.
Great!
Now let's start looking at hotels.
I had three general options.
In order of cost it was on site hotel, off site clean hotel, off site flea bag hotel.
There was also the option of driving down to Grand Forks, ND (about a two hour drive) and flying out of there.
Pros and cons.
Flying out of Grand Forks allows me to keep my airmiles.
I can then use the airmiles to purchase my Disney park tickets.
But it means flying into Sanford and not Orlando.
So no Magical Express.
And probably a rental car. Although you get a good deal when you book air and car as a package.
Still have to factor in the extra cost of the car rental.
After crunching all the numbers, the cheapest option was as follows:
Use airmiles to get park tickets
Drive to Grand Forks
Fly to Sanford
Rent a car
Stay at the roach motel
After doing all the calculations, I checked back on the airmiles site.
What's this?
They had flights for fewer points than earlier!
If I sacrificed some comfort (you'll see), I could get flights and tickets with the available points I had.
I decided to try to narrow my dates down to a few choices and make my decision soon.
The next day, some of the low points flights were already gone!
Ding! Ding! Ding! Alarms are going off in my head.
Well, more noises than usual were going off in my head.
Book those flights while you still can!
And that's what I did.
Leaving on a jet plane Sunday February 8th, returning on Friday the 13th.
Now where to stay?
With airmiles points taking care of the park tickets and flights
(plus applicable taxes, fees, gouging and roasting over an open fire),
I was going to be able to stay at a non-disgusting hotel.
And when I saw that Disney was offering twenty percent off rooms...
That, combined with no longer having to rent a car, sealed the deal.
Over the next little bit, I tried to book at Pop, since I'd never been, but they were sold out.
So instead I booked at ASMu.
I figured that if I was going to stay at one of the All Stars,
I'd stay at one that I'd been to before.
I did think about booking at Sports or Movies, but...
I decided that since I couldn't get Pop, I wanted to be in a familiar place.
I already knew that I wouldn't be spending much time at the resort.
Last time, we were in Country Fair... which is pretty much in another county.
I'm pretty sure I did more walking to/from my room than I did in the parks!
This time I requested Jazz.
Even if I didn't get it (which I didn't think I would) I hoped to at least get Rock or Broadway. As close to Melody Hall as I could get.
I figured that if I requested Jazz and didn't get it, they'd take pity on me.
Either way, when I checked in, I was prepared to fight for as close a room as I could get.
Over the past few years I've been collecting a list of must dos/want to dos.
Here's a partial list of things I hoped to do over the course of the trip.
That's in addition to going on rides/seeing shows.
In no particular order:
Dole whip float
Carrot cake cookie at the Writer's Stop
Take a bus to DHS then the boat to Epcot
Try the onion rings at Prime Time or Flame Tree
Just go to Prime Time!
Voices of Liberty at America in Epcot
Pork shank at Gaston's
LeFou's Brew
Pecos Bill's for the burger and fixins bar
Candy Lady in Japan
Mickey head pretzel
Kaki gori (shave ice) in Japan
Cronut at snack booth just before Canada
Margarita in Mexico
Grey Goose slush at France
Karamel Kuche in Germany
Heck, just enjoy World Showcase for a change
Lots of other stuff too, (like Beaches and Cream) that I didn't bother to include on this trip
since I wasn't going to have time to visit DTD or the Boardwalk area or other resorts.
Can you guess how much (if any of it) that I did?
Over the course of the TR, you'll see how close I got.
If at all.
I was already within my one hundred and eighty day window for ADRs, so I did that next.
And when my FP+ window opened up, I was ready and got everything I wanted,
including FP+ for 7DMT and... hold onto your hats. Meet and greet with Anna and Elsa!
Now I'm not really all that big into the characters.
I don't know if that's because I never met any when I was younger, or maybe I'm just jaded.
Probably the latter.
Either way, they just don't do much for me.
Oh, sure, I'll play along. If a character interacts with me, I'll enjoy it.
But I don't actively seek them out.
But I know how hard it is to see the frozen duo, so...
And as time went by, and the trip got closer and closer...
I really started to question my motivation for seeing them.
Wasn't I really just going to see them because I could?
I personally know one woman who stood in line for eight hours so her daughter could meet them.
Eight hours!
Eight!
But I was smart! I did my research! I wasn't going to have to wait.
At all!
Besides, it'll look so good on the TR that I'm more than likely going to write.
(And look! Here we are! That just proves it!)
And then I thought of some Mom out there in the world.
Desperately hoping to get a FP+ so that her little princess could meet Anna and Elsa.
And not finding one...
And then telling her little princess(es) that she was really sorry but they just weren't going to be able to see Anna and Elsa...
"I'm sorry, girls. But there just aren't any FP+s left!"
Because I wanted to show everyone how I got to see them...
Yeah. That's not a good enough reason.
I just couldn't do it.
I turned it back.
I just hope that I made someone out there happy. I'll never know.
So that's how it began.
What's in store for you, my dear reader?
A few surprises, including one experience that I'm pretty sure most of you haven't done!
Lots of photos! Including some never before (well, I'm pretty sure) seen photos!!!
Prizes to be won! (Nope. I'm not kidding. Details to follow in the next update.)
Hope you'll stick around for the fun!
Drop a comment, let me know you're out there.
It makes my day.
Departure day coming up next!
Chapter links:
Day 1
Real world update.
Chapter 2 - So I lied
Day 2
Chapter 3 - The contest
Chapter 4 - Time to see a show!
Chapter 5 - Elbows off the table!
Chapter 6 - Finding the time
Real world update.
Day 3
Chapter 7 - Save dessert for last.
Chapter 8 - Is this seat taken?
Chapter 9 - Little Dog Lost
Day 4
Chapter 10 - P is for Piercing Eardrums
Chapter 11 - Looking for Nemo
Chapter 12 - 20,000 Leagues of Pixie dust
Chapter 13 - Ain't got no Oogie Boogie
Day 5
Chapter 14 - Second bridge to the right and straight on the coaster
Chapter 15 - Now that's a spicy meatball!
Chapter 16 - A Sashay Through the Park
Chapter 17 - Goodnight and Farewell
Real world update... take two
Real world update... take three
Day 6
Chapter 18 - Welcome back to the real world
Toronto Mini-TR
Part 1 - To the Center of the Universe!
Part 2 - Boom and Bust
Part 3 - Here Today Gone Tomorrow
Hi!
And welcome to another Canadian Buffoon Vacation!
Before we get started...
Wait... Who's this "we"? It's a solo vacation, isn't it?
Well I guess that would be me... and you!
Yes you! You lucky reader, you get to relive the excitement and majesty of going to Disney World without actually going there!!!
Don't you feel awesome now?
Don'tcha?
No?
Well, I'll write about it anyway, and you can read on and decide for yourself, OK?
What?
Who am I?
Some of you already know, but for those who don't, a little about myself.
I first went to Disney World when Disney World and Magic Kingdom were the same thing.
No Animal Kingdom, no Hollywood Studios or MGM or even an Epcot!
So that pretty much clues you in that I is one old dude.
Which factors into why I'm going on this solo trip in the first place.
More on that later.
First I better post a picture of me to scare the children with.
Hmmm...
That's a bit problematic.
You see, when you go on a solo trip, you don't tend to take many pictures of yourself.
(Ha! I just shocked every selfie-loving teenager out there!)
Nevertheless, I found a loophole.
Disney can take pictures of you while you stand there trying not to look stupid!
Well, for reasons that will become clear shortly, this wasn't going to happen...
at least not much.
I mean, the looking stupid part? Yes.
Shelling out a hundred and seventy bucks? No.
But I did spring for a few pics.
Let's see.
I need to make a good first impression.
Something that eloquently and accurately portrays my maturity and proper upbringing and stature.
This should do...
Subtle, no?
Okay, now that I've just lost most of my readers,
I'll continue on for the benefit of the two or three hardy souls who obviously have strong stomachs
or have simply lost the will to live full and productive lives and instead are choosing to read on.
I feel for you. I really do.
Before we get to the point where I'm sitting on Rock 'n' Roller Coaster mugging furiously for the camera,
I better explain just how this trip came to be.
Especially since some of you know that there wasn't any likelihood of it happening in the first place!
Last year I had a milestone birthday.
If you're guessing 30 or 40, you have just become my new best friend.
On the other hand if you're thinking 80....
Expect to one day answer your doorbell to a burning sack of offal.
Really!
80???
So cruel.
As I was saying, last year I had a milestone birthday.
My parents were kind enough to provide me with some cash as a birthday gift.
My MIL did too.
Great! What do I do with my windfall?
If you get birthday money and use it to pay off debt or to pay bills...
Well, you do what you gotta do, but this boy ain't gonna do that!
Spend those puppies!
Preferably on something that you normally wouldn't spend money on.
I had a few thoughts... and Disney wasn't one of them.
Why? Because while my parents and MIL were very generous, it wasn't enough to pay for a Disney vacation.
A vacation wasn't even on the radar.
Stuff was.
Maybe a new camera lens.
Maybe an add-on for my Harley.
However.
Christmas wasn't too far off...
My folks and MIL usually give us all some cash then too...
If I combine my gifts... this could work.
Maybe.
Disney is not next door.
It's about two thousand miles away.
Walking would take over six hundred hours... one way!
Frankly, I just don't have that kind of time.
I could drive, I suppose. But where's the fun in that?
Actually, driving wasn't really an option either.
Non-stop, you're still looking at thirty hours.
I didn't want to take too much time off work,
and I especially didn't want to take that much time away from my family.
I have every confidence in my wife, Ruby and my daughters are old enough (14 & 17) that they can take care of themselves, but...
I still want to be there to make things easier for everyone, ya know?
My only real option was to fly.
(Or to teleport, but since the technology isn't quite there yet...)
Flying, and I don't want to shock anyone here, but... flying is expensive.
No! Really! It is!
Well, maybe not if you happen to work in, or have a family member who works in the industry.
I, unfortunately, do not.
Although we keep telling Elle (my oldest DD) she should apply for WestJet.
We really don't care if she wants to or not.
We've paid for her childhood, it's time she starts paying us back!
It's the least she could do, don't you think?
But I did have some airmiles saved up.
Maybe I'll just take a peek and see what's available.
Probably nothing.
Since you usually have to book six months in advance if you even want a shot at getting seats.
At least to Florida.
But you never know.
I don't know why, but it seems to be a popular winter destination for Canadians.
I was looking to go in about three months. Value season. i.e. (hopefully) slow season.
And (definitely) cheap season.
(Value being a Disney term for "We'll wring every last penny out of you anyway,
so we'll trick you into coming when you think you'll save some cash.")
I took a look on the airmiles site and low and behold they still had flights available.
Great!
Now let's start looking at hotels.
I had three general options.
In order of cost it was on site hotel, off site clean hotel, off site flea bag hotel.
There was also the option of driving down to Grand Forks, ND (about a two hour drive) and flying out of there.
Pros and cons.
Flying out of Grand Forks allows me to keep my airmiles.
I can then use the airmiles to purchase my Disney park tickets.
But it means flying into Sanford and not Orlando.
So no Magical Express.
And probably a rental car. Although you get a good deal when you book air and car as a package.
Still have to factor in the extra cost of the car rental.
After crunching all the numbers, the cheapest option was as follows:
Use airmiles to get park tickets
Drive to Grand Forks
Fly to Sanford
Rent a car
Stay at the roach motel
After doing all the calculations, I checked back on the airmiles site.
What's this?
They had flights for fewer points than earlier!
If I sacrificed some comfort (you'll see), I could get flights and tickets with the available points I had.
I decided to try to narrow my dates down to a few choices and make my decision soon.
The next day, some of the low points flights were already gone!
Ding! Ding! Ding! Alarms are going off in my head.
Well, more noises than usual were going off in my head.
Book those flights while you still can!
And that's what I did.
Leaving on a jet plane Sunday February 8th, returning on Friday the 13th.
Now where to stay?
With airmiles points taking care of the park tickets and flights
(plus applicable taxes, fees, gouging and roasting over an open fire),
I was going to be able to stay at a non-disgusting hotel.
And when I saw that Disney was offering twenty percent off rooms...
That, combined with no longer having to rent a car, sealed the deal.
Over the next little bit, I tried to book at Pop, since I'd never been, but they were sold out.
So instead I booked at ASMu.
I figured that if I was going to stay at one of the All Stars,
I'd stay at one that I'd been to before.
I did think about booking at Sports or Movies, but...
I decided that since I couldn't get Pop, I wanted to be in a familiar place.
I already knew that I wouldn't be spending much time at the resort.
Last time, we were in Country Fair... which is pretty much in another county.
I'm pretty sure I did more walking to/from my room than I did in the parks!
This time I requested Jazz.
Even if I didn't get it (which I didn't think I would) I hoped to at least get Rock or Broadway. As close to Melody Hall as I could get.
I figured that if I requested Jazz and didn't get it, they'd take pity on me.
Either way, when I checked in, I was prepared to fight for as close a room as I could get.
Over the past few years I've been collecting a list of must dos/want to dos.
Here's a partial list of things I hoped to do over the course of the trip.
That's in addition to going on rides/seeing shows.
In no particular order:
Dole whip float
Carrot cake cookie at the Writer's Stop
Take a bus to DHS then the boat to Epcot
Try the onion rings at Prime Time or Flame Tree
Just go to Prime Time!
Voices of Liberty at America in Epcot
Pork shank at Gaston's
LeFou's Brew
Pecos Bill's for the burger and fixins bar
Candy Lady in Japan
Mickey head pretzel
Kaki gori (shave ice) in Japan
Cronut at snack booth just before Canada
Margarita in Mexico
Grey Goose slush at France
Karamel Kuche in Germany
Heck, just enjoy World Showcase for a change
Lots of other stuff too, (like Beaches and Cream) that I didn't bother to include on this trip
since I wasn't going to have time to visit DTD or the Boardwalk area or other resorts.
Can you guess how much (if any of it) that I did?
Over the course of the TR, you'll see how close I got.
If at all.
I was already within my one hundred and eighty day window for ADRs, so I did that next.
And when my FP+ window opened up, I was ready and got everything I wanted,
including FP+ for 7DMT and... hold onto your hats. Meet and greet with Anna and Elsa!
Now I'm not really all that big into the characters.
I don't know if that's because I never met any when I was younger, or maybe I'm just jaded.
Probably the latter.
Either way, they just don't do much for me.
Oh, sure, I'll play along. If a character interacts with me, I'll enjoy it.
But I don't actively seek them out.
But I know how hard it is to see the frozen duo, so...
And as time went by, and the trip got closer and closer...
I really started to question my motivation for seeing them.
Wasn't I really just going to see them because I could?
I personally know one woman who stood in line for eight hours so her daughter could meet them.
Eight hours!
Eight!
But I was smart! I did my research! I wasn't going to have to wait.
At all!
Besides, it'll look so good on the TR that I'm more than likely going to write.
(And look! Here we are! That just proves it!)
And then I thought of some Mom out there in the world.
Desperately hoping to get a FP+ so that her little princess could meet Anna and Elsa.
And not finding one...
And then telling her little princess(es) that she was really sorry but they just weren't going to be able to see Anna and Elsa...
"I'm sorry, girls. But there just aren't any FP+s left!"
Because I wanted to show everyone how I got to see them...
Yeah. That's not a good enough reason.
I just couldn't do it.
I turned it back.
I just hope that I made someone out there happy. I'll never know.
So that's how it began.
What's in store for you, my dear reader?
A few surprises, including one experience that I'm pretty sure most of you haven't done!
Lots of photos! Including some never before (well, I'm pretty sure) seen photos!!!
Prizes to be won! (Nope. I'm not kidding. Details to follow in the next update.)
Hope you'll stick around for the fun!
Drop a comment, let me know you're out there.
It makes my day.
Departure day coming up next!
Chapter links:
Day 1
Real world update.
Chapter 2 - So I lied
Day 2
Chapter 3 - The contest
Chapter 4 - Time to see a show!
Chapter 5 - Elbows off the table!
Chapter 6 - Finding the time
Real world update.
Day 3
Chapter 7 - Save dessert for last.
Chapter 8 - Is this seat taken?
Chapter 9 - Little Dog Lost
Day 4
Chapter 10 - P is for Piercing Eardrums
Chapter 11 - Looking for Nemo
Chapter 12 - 20,000 Leagues of Pixie dust
Chapter 13 - Ain't got no Oogie Boogie
Day 5
Chapter 14 - Second bridge to the right and straight on the coaster
Chapter 15 - Now that's a spicy meatball!
Chapter 16 - A Sashay Through the Park
Chapter 17 - Goodnight and Farewell
Real world update... take two
Real world update... take three
Day 6
Chapter 18 - Welcome back to the real world
Toronto Mini-TR
Part 1 - To the Center of the Universe!
Part 2 - Boom and Bust
Part 3 - Here Today Gone Tomorrow
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