Who wants bonus points?!?!?
You do?
I do! I do! Yes, please! May I have some bonus points?
Originally I wanted
"CRISIS"
because this bike represents
my mid-life crisis.
I like it!
But keep it cool, people.
Corny or silly ain't gonna
get you the points.
Oh man, you're just trying to disqualify me right from the start, aren't you?
I'm a bit surprised.
But considering how well
I do in contests.... not very.
And yet... almost all of you knew
that there was going to be a DISmeet
on this trip.
And many of you knew it would be in Epcot,
and it hasn't happened yet.
Let me go back and check my detailed notes about your itinerary and see how I could have missed that!
Leaving Disney????
<shudder>
I know, man. I know.
Ergo, ipso facto carpe diem flagrante delicto...
WHAT did you call me?!
("Hey! Look everyone! It's pkon...... ew.")
Hmmm... actually, I get that a lot.
Shower or no shower.
Huh.
I recognize this as the "how are people going to give me crap when they respond to the update?" edit. Always good to defuse the obvious insults.
Civilisation's gift to civilization.
(This is awesome.
No matter where you live,
you're going to assume I
spelled one of those wrong.)
Hey, my computer has a red line under one of them. Obviously wrong.
Consequently, I'm always
early. Usually too early.
Frequently ridiculously early.
Better early than late! That's my creed.
For the amount of money we pay,
I really don't think climate control
is asking for too much.
I'm stunned that Disney hasn't figured out how to control the weather yet.
Loooong line at bag check.
What were all these people doing here?
Shouldn't they be in the park already?
Haven't you people heard of rope drop?!?!?
Sleep in on vacation? Never!
Wait.... these are those people you read about.
The ones that don't know about rope drop.
The ones that enable us to go on rides
with minimal to no waits.
It's okay people! No rush!
Take your time! It's allllll good!
No. Please. I insist. Go ahead of me.
Exactly! Thanks for making it easier for the rest of us!
Yes! Of course!
Time for some Gronnsaksgrateng.
Gesundheit.
What's not to love about a
vegetable terrine with braised lentils??
Am I right???
I said... Am I right???
Hello?
It's like I don't even know who you are anymore.
Again, apologies for the lousy photos.
Since it's new, and not everyone has seen it,
I decided to post them anyway.
I appreciate it--I haven't really seen much of the ride since it opened.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect
from this ride.
I hadn't heard much about it.
Deliberately.
And... I liked it!
Great! Better than the alternative.
The animatronics are the first
all-electric Audio-Animatronics.
All others used either pneumatics
or hydraulics. (thanks wiki!)
Interesting! Reminds me of when I took the MK behind-the-scenes tour and they talked about how the rides went through the history of animatronics devices.
...to evil demon from the Abyss.
Gah! What in the heck is that???
Elsa farts out a whole bunch
of little snow dudes,
someone gives her some Gas-X,
she feels better and they celebrate
with snow fireworks.
I'm starting to see why you liked the ride.
Or.... is she????
And did she corrupt her sister as well?
This sequel is going to be very dark.
She's already posted about it
so if you're reading her TR
(and if you're not... why aren't you?
it's far better than this!!)
you already know about it.
I agree! I mean, about the "you should be reading her TR" part. That's all. Promise. Scout's honor.
"For how many?"
"I don't know." I said.
"It could be just me...
Or it could be as many as 10."
I really didn't know.
Like I said. Stuff happens.
"About an hour." The hostess said.
Hi! I'd like a table for me and my 9 imaginary friends, please.
And I did.
Awwww.... crap.
It looked like a chunk of my DISmeet
was able to meet earlier...
and couldn't meet now.
They were leaving.
Shoot.
Kris, if you're still reading this,
sorry I missed you.
Well, dang. Sorry that didn't work out. Maybe Kris and I can meet up and commiserate.
So that's how I met Laura and Bill.
A really nice couple....
and I was an awful host.
The worst.
And I really feel badly for that.
Don't worry, they weren't expecting anything else.
I mean, uh, I'm sure you didn't bother them.
And... another major fail.
I didn't get a photo of all of us together.
Note to self. Don't host another DISmeet.
You suck at it.
Tell me about it! I showed up right on time to ours!
Note to self. Never ever use the iPod
for low light photography.
I sense a theme here...
Lu said she wanted to sit across from me,
then Katie said she should get that spot.
Lu said she knew me best.
Katie said she knew me longest.
And... well...
I guess it's not just Disney princesses who fight over you!
"I got you something." She said.
And passed over a small bag.
Inside was.... a Disney Springs
Harley Davidson poker chip!
Wow! Very thoughtful!
You know...
I must admit.... I was a bit nervous
about meeting these three.
There's a bit of an.... age gap.
But... speaking only for myself,
I had a really wonderful time.
(Which sounds painfully like:
"Well, me 'n the young-uns
got on famously, Martha!"
Meanwhile: "Mom! Do we have
to see Grandpa again? Boooooring!
He keeps talking about bowel movements!")
Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch.
Of course they were buying for all of us.
It was very generous of them
and I appreciated the gesture.
These DIS people are pretty awesome.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked.
"I'm pulley." She replied.
And you're pushy! A perfect pair!
You know.
Apartment = Flat
Trunk = Boot
Truck = Lorry
But I don't claim to know 'em all.
Like.
Pacifier = Dummy
Checkers = Draughts
or even
Zucchini = Courgette
Also, Chips = Fries
Torch = Flashlight
Football = Some Much More Boring, Unwatchable Game
"You're feeling poorly!" I exclaimed.
"Yes." She replied, looking puzzled.
"Don't you say that?"
"Well." I said. "We might say
'I'm not feeling well' but we could say
'I'm feeling poorly'."
They just cut out the middle man,
so to speak, and cut to the chase.
I'm pulley.
Gonna use that one from now on.
Yeah, I might need to try and work that one into conversation as well.
My table for "ce soir".
Does it still look as appetizing?
Works for me! I've always said presentation is overrated.
Wait time, zero minutes.
Except.
All the people in front of me
obviously weren't aware
of my VIP package.
If there's one thing that grinds my gears, it's people with a sense of entitlement. I mean all those people in front of you, of course.
Dearly.
Free fast passes to IASW.
Whoa, let's not get too rash here.
I asked a CM what time
Wishes was tonight.
"Oh, I'm sorry sir. They were at eight."
"Excuse me sir!" A voice said in my ear.
I looked up. It was a CM.
"We have to keep this area clear." She continued.
"You have to be behind the line."
I looked down. There was tape on the ground
delimiting where parade viewers
and pedestrians could be.
Half of my left foot was over the line.
Scoundrel! Fast pass to IASW for you!
I turned my foot a bit and she was satisfied
and moved on to tell a woman
pushing a stroller that her child's pacifier
was an eighth of an inch too large.
"How do I get to the Jungle Cruise?" I asked.
"Go around the castle." She replied.
Uh, huh.
If you know the parade route,
you know that isn't going to work.
Well, maybe she thought you had a helicopter in your back pocket.
(Isn't it nice that even Disney knows
"Harbour" is spelled with a 'u'?)
These unnecessary letters seem to be in conflict with that whole "no unnecessary word" policy.
Oh, hello, Dole Whip.
Well, hello Dole Whip!
It's so nice to have you in my
stomach where you belong.
Is this heaven?
As I sat with my elixir,
I saw an amusing scene.
Well... maybe you have to be
a husband to find it amusing.
A woman, with child in tow,
walked very purposefully past me.
She had a very stoic expression on her face.
Trailing behind her
was her panic stricken husband.
"But I said okay! Honey! I said okay!"
And they marched out of sight.
Clearly he did not say "okay" in the right way. Which he is supposed to figure out without anyone teaching him.
Like...
"Look! To your left! An elephant!
Did you know they can leap
great distances?"
The light shone on an elephant on shore.
He turned the lights out and
"There he goes! Look!"
And he turned the lights on
a little further downstream and...
there on the right was the elephant!
He turned out the lights.
We all strained to hear...
What would a baby hippo sound like?
Do you know?
No one on board knew, I'm sure.
And from the front of the ship,
in what sounded strangely like
a higher pitched version of the
skippers voice, we heard:
"Mom! Mom! Mommmmm!"
Oh man, I had no idea! Now I have to ride it at night! Thanks for the tip!
I decided that... I was pretty tired.
And pretty happy.
And yet... a little sad.
My trip to Disney was over.
I knew it.
My body sure knew it.
Never a good feeling.
1. What time does the infernal alarm go off?
8:00 a.m. You get to sleep in!
2. How long do I wait for DUD (Disney's Un-magical Depress)?
13 minutes.
3. I watch a Disney animated movie on the flight. Which?
Hint: Hadn't seen it before. Hint 2:Released this decade.
I'll go with Zootopia.
4. Connecting flight. Do I make it?
Yes!
5. How do you take your coffee?
Cream and sugar. Lots of sugar. I admit it, not very manly.
Bonus: Did you see it?
You saw it? Yes?
I did! Inviso-text on:
1. Surprised you're offering those services after all of your struggles getting yourself out of the driveway.
2. He's not just on your t-shirt at La Cava. Also over everyone's shoulder.
Coming up: An extremely short and boring
chapter about flying in airplanes.
Way to sell it!
Let's see.
Day shift on Thursday.
Midnight shift Thursday night into Friday morning.
16 hour shift on both Saturday and Sunday.
Day shift today.
1/2 of which I was training the new girl
so hyper vigilant.
So...normal week, then?
Shout outs later.
Ponzi's closed. Moose out front should'a told you.
Let me get my BB gun...
I'll have to come back with thoughts on the license plate.