Autoimmune.........

[1Prince2Princesses]

Paige... thanks for sharing this with me. You can add me to your list of people who think you're great and will remember you and your family in our prayers.

 

[hiwaygal]

Add me to the list of folks who is glad there is some good news!!! Your family certainly deserves it!!! I'm so happy for you all!

 

[paigevz]

Thanks guys. It's just a small change, very small..........overall he's still very sick...........but I am happy to see a slowdown! That was my biggest worry, that it was speeding up.

 

[Toot Sweet]

Paige, I'm very happy you have a bit of good news!! You deserve it! I'm wishing you the best!

 

[bigmerle1966]

Good news Paigey!

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

Paige remember I always tell you "baby steps" and this is one of those going in the right direction. Great news! I'm still praying for your family.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Paige, I know how worried you were when he went in for that blood test and I'm so glad that the results were not what you feared. Our minds can worry about the worst case scenerio--you know we both do the same thing.

 

[paigevz]

Paige, I'm very happy you have a bit of good news!! You deserve it! I'm wishing you the best!

Good news Paigey!

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

Paige remember I always tell you "baby steps" and this is one of those going in the right direction. Great news! I'm still praying for your family.

I remember Tricia.

Paige, I know how worried you were when he went in for that blood test and I'm so glad that the results were not what you feared. Our minds can worry about the worst case scenerio--you know we both do the same thing.

Because we are two halves of the same person...........

 

[paigevz]

I am a basketcase today. I sat in the bottom of the shower and cried for nearly an hour.........got sick.........water went cold.........I just stayed there. Sent dh and the boys to the superbowl party without me. Since dh came home sick from work on Friday (NEVER does that), I am not entirely sure if I got sick from the crying or a virus, so I didn't want to take the virus over there......they have a new baby. I haven't stopped crying for more than 15 minutes since. Cry, stare at the ceiling, cry some more, stare some more.

Don't ask me what's wrong, I don't know. Several small buttons of mine were pushed this am, but none of them enough for this. Maybe the baby thing. Dh and I had been going to have another, and I was to go to the ob the next week after his "remission that wasn't" appointment to get the fertility drug that worked for Thing 2, and we have since decided not to. This friend that is hostess of the superbowl party we were going to just had her third baby..........

Still, I thought I was getting over that, and I have two wonderful boys. Seems a silly reason to cry for an entire day when I've known about it for a few months now.

I'm extremely put out with myself for not being able to get my you-know-what together.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Aww Paige!!! Why didn't you call me???

 

[willis37862]

I just have hugs for you sweetie.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I'm sorry you're having a rough day Paige. I hope you're feeling a little better now.

 

[paigevz]

So dh has decided it isn't necessary for him to do his quarterly sonograms. He asked why should he double them? I said to look for liver cancer. He said but why would they need to look for it more often now? It's the Imuran he said that might cause that. I said no, hon, it's the two diseases, and now that you have both, your chances are much higher. So he said, what's the point of knowing about it? Early detection is key to treatment I told him. He told me (and I hadn't known) that they cost us 500 dollars each after the insurance pays their part, and he thinks they just arent' necessary.

I asked him, didn't you hear what the dr. said? He floored me when he responded that he hadn't heard a word that dr. had said. Not a word past no remission. And the dr. had kept asking him if he'd understood and he'd said yes. I'm his wife and I had thought he'd understood. This is why when I said NASH that time, he'd said "what's that?" and I'd said, "what you have"..............I had thought that was strange then, but he'd heard nothing.

Which made me all the more determined to go to his appointment tomorrow with him even though I'm out of sick days and it wouldmean docked pay. But he told me they switched it to next Thursday morning. He doesn't want to go in the morning he said, he wanted a Friday afternoon. Strange in itself, as he's always wanted early mornings so he could go back to work. So he told them no. They told him it would push his appointment back a month. So he told me he won't go now until March. He didn't go get his other bloodwork done anyway, he's going to refuse the sonogram and he says "what's the dr. going to tell me anyway?"

He's drinking beer on weekends and back to eating what he wants much of the time......things that are off his diet.

He does still take his meds. He's having nightmares. He IS talking to me now.

I need guidance here. This is all a bit confusing to me. On the one hand he's talking to me about it, on the other, he seems to be rejecting his treatments and diagnostics out of hand.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Paige, I have no advice, just hugs for now

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I'm so sorry Paige.
some hugs for you

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Paige, it sounds like he is in denial. He may be talking about it, but he's rejecting a lot of the course of action. Is there any way he would consider talking to someone about this? He's scared, he has feelings he doesn't know what to do with, and I think a neutral third party would be beneficial to him (and to you and your family).

Paige, believe me, I know what your family is going through. Different diseases, but oh so many of the same things.

 

[blue_river]

Paige - it could be denial but he may also just want a break from it all. Having to run to the doctors so often can get tiring in itself and wear you down. I'm glad to hear that he is talking with you though.

I'm glad you have so many wonderful friends here on the DIS who you can talk with and I'm one of them. Anytime you need to chat - ask me & I'll be there

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Paige, I don't have advice, but do have and am always here to listen. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

Paige I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am glad to hear that he is opening up and talking with you now. That's a step in the right direction. I don't have any advice to share but I am still praying for both of you.

 

[minkydog]

Oh paige, I just read your update I know you're worried sick. What he is doing is a very normal reaction to bad news. Even though he says he didn't hear a thing, he heard enough. I don't think he has permanently given up, but he is exerting some control over his life. My DH did a similar thing when he had a brain tumor 5 yrs ago--declined to have a biopsy or any treatment(after the doctor told him is looked inoperable on the MRI) and decided he would just wait and watch I, of course, was beside myself!

I hope your husband will come around as my DH did(eventually.) One thing I've learned is he has to work it out himself. He's hurting and you're hurting. This is a road you walk both together and alone. All you can do is continue to support him in his journey. If he decides to take a break from tests and treatment, well, that is his right even it it makes you feel crazy. This is his way of saying, "I"m still in charge of me."

Here's another cry all you want. Sometimes there are no words...