While the munchkins ran around in the "back yard"...with several warnings to Teddy the Brave to "KEEP BACK FROM THE WATER"...I set about "arranging" things. We just needed to get the baggage. The kids were chomping at the bit to get into the "COOL POOL WITH THE SLIDE" as soon as possible. It was about 1:30pm. They could swim for an hour before they needed to be dunked and scrubbed and made perty for Chef Mickeys and the Pirate and Princess Party!
The room phone gave a happy little ring so I picked it up! Everything is fun at Disneyworld!
WL Ranger: Hello, Mrs.CampbellScot...we are just trying to locate your baggage so we can bring it to you.
Me: Oh, well it's the red stuff...with the pink tags on it...well one has a stuffed kitty wearing a crown...it's been my luggage tag forever, it went to Ireland with me several times so it's sort of beat up but...
WL Ranger: yes...umm...what was the last name on it again?
Me: Oh, it would be under "The last name I have yet to legally make my own but TOTALLY intend to do so after Nov. 2008 when my passport expires" *ahem*
WL Ranger: I don't see that here...I umm...hmmm...
Me: It's all red...matching...pink tags and a cat...
Jay: Umm Cam...is it perhaps under YOUR last name...that isn't MY last name?
Me:NO...*huff* it is NOT. YOU are the one who did the luggage check in...geez...NO.
Jay: But YOUR name is the name everything is done under...it's in the computer. I gave them YOUR name...that isn't MY last name.
Me: Well why didn't you just TELL ME that then. Why do you have to be so passive aggressive all the time...Why do...
WL Ranger: Ummm...Mrs. CampbellScot...
Me: SORRY...can you check for the name CampbellScot?
WL Ranger: OH, yes HERE IT IS!!! WE'll be right there.
Me: umm, thanks.
I hung up, but refused to look at my husband. I could feel him pelting me in the back of the head with the look.
So I smacked him right back with my eyebrow arch. SO THERE.
Shortly after the WL Ranger arrived and ended the war of look hurling. He greeted us with a hearty "Hello Mr. and Mrs. CampbellScot. Here is your luggage. Welcome home!
My husband handed him a tip and closed the door.
Before he could say anything I shouted:
"I KNOW. I'M GOING TO CHANGE IT...SORRY"
He produced a smug little smile.
I responded with:
"We are in a fight. Do not speak to me until I say you can." Then I took my sunglasses off in dramatic fashion.
The look on his face was not a good one. I had acutally forgotten that I had been assaulted on the plane.
Geez Cam, that looks really bad. I think you need to go see a doctor.
In my most carefree way I announced that it was NOT that bad. I would NOT be going to a doctor and I did NOT want to talk about it anymore. I then sneaked a look at myself in the mirror. OUCH. Not so pretty. It wasn't so much that it was puffy...but it didn't look right. And looking at it somehow made it hurt. Which made me remember that I had been elbowed in the face by a felon of the future, bled all over the place, ruined my good hoodie, threw up in the bathroom TWICE and felt generally embarrassed about the whole thing. Which made me cry...like a big fat baby.
see this is how it happens for me. Something "bad" will happen. I'll have a seemingly mild response to it. Then an hour or so later it'll hit me and I'll have a mini break down. And I cry...and feel humiliated the way I should have felt at the time but would have been unable to function had I allowed that to happen.
So here it was. BREAK DOWN. But not really. The kiddos were just outside. I could not afford to melt at the moment...well THEY couldn't afford a meltdown. It would freak them out. They would rather I stick to bossy and controlling than cry.
SO Miss Cammie threw a disgusted look at herself. Demanded the reflection STOP crying immediately...smacked herself in the face a couple of times, banged her head a little...and felt immensely better....*cough*
not really. I just sucked it up, put my very cool, way too expensive (by that I mean, over $10!!!
) but make me look FAB shades back on. That was that. Or so I thought...My husband, who happens to be MORE bossy and controlling than I am, called bell services and asked about medical offices.
He got a list and started telling me about the Celebration ER...I eye brow arched him and announced that we had no time for such things. IF I felt I needed to, I would visit the first aid station at Magic Kingdom. And that was a big fat MAYBE. We had pools to swim in and Chef Mickey's to napkin wave in and a PIRATE and PRINCESS party to...par-tay in. Silly man. He's NOT the boss of me!
okay so basically I am a stubborn pain in the rump. My husband has the patience of Job. I test him often. I don't like doctor's offices. I have a touchy gag reflex and just the SMELL gets me to gagging.
and...he's NOT the boss of me.
Luckily the kiddies came running in wanting to know about the pool. So I told them to hurry it up and get those bathing suits on so they could go SWIM and SLIDE!!!
Sally gave me a sly look...
MissCammie...are YOU going to swim? You know you PROMISED you would when we got to Disneyworld...didn't you?
drat...I did promise. But mostly b/c I hate to swim...I hate to be wet in general. I'm like a cat. So I made lavish promises to swim at Disneyworld so that I wouldn't have to swim with them in our backyard pool. I shaded...and read my book instead...don't worry folks...Daddy LOVED to swim! They weren't without adult supervision and attention. Both kids are little water bugs and swim like otters. Anyhow...I fibbed and fudged my way through the summer. Never got wet...not once. And now here we stood. The "Promise" in my face. How was I going to get out of this one?!
Actually Sally Rally, I'm going to walk y'all down there and take some pictures, but then I have to go and see if I can find out where a doctor is...y'know...for my eye...*ahem*
I KNOW. I'm horrible. But I really hate getting wet. And I hate being in pools that are basically toilets for small children. Just thinking about it gets me nauseous...and I was on a competitive swim team from the time I was in 1rst grade to 12th and I got so many ear infections that I lost 30% of hearing in my left ear...so y'know...it's a medical reason...too...
what? I can't hear you?
*cough*
SallyRally wasn't buying it either...
MissCammie...you HATE doctor's and you PROMISED. You did. And YOU said it was bad to be a breaker of promises b/c then people don't believe you when you have something important to say. didn't you say that?
I was being guilt tripped by an 8 year old. WOW she was good at it too. I was already trying to remember where I'd packed my suit...and the extra barf bags when my husband came to the rescue.
Oh no Sal...MissCammie IS going to find out about those doctor's offices. Aren't you Cam?
MAN these people were MEAN.
After guilt tripping and cornering were done, the kids got into their suits. Then it was time for the "Sunscreen Battle". I have this THING about sunscreen. Seeing as how I'm Irish and white as a ghost I burn easily. I lost a friend to skin cancer. I'm obsessed with protecting the skin of the kids. Teddy is a pretty happy go lucky about it. He accepts the sunscreen and the obsessive checking that I got every inch of exposed skin, including inside of ears, behind ears and between toes. Sally is another story. She HATES being sunscreened. HATES IT. She'll stand for the basic once over with the "no rub" sprays. But getting it on her face and neck is nearly impossible. She'll SCREECH "It TICKLES" and push your hands away and duck and weave like Rocky to keep from getting any sunscreen on herself. Then it's "I'll DO IT MY OWN SELF". Which she does not.
Now Sally is a reasonable girl. She knows why sunscreen is important. She also knows that she is BROWN as a berry as I'm sure y'all saw, which is not white as a ghost like I am. She reasons that she doesn't burn, she just browns and therefore does NOT need as much sunscreen as I might. Then she'll try and throw in the "clincher"...
"Mommy doesn't do it this way..." OUCH. They know by now that to say that is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. They know that to say that is to set off my inner Donald faster than they can blink. They say this to smack me around.
This is when I nail her with the highest Wicked Stepmother Eyebrow Arch I can manage and say:
I am most certainly NOT your mother kiddo. I'm your WICKED step mother. This is the way I do it. Which is the way YOU will do it while you are here. PERIOD. Now get that sunscreen on or you will NEVER...EVER...get near water EVER again...IN YOUR LIFE. Am I being quite clear?
Still think I'm Mary Poppins? Yeah...told y'all I was nuts. (perhaps I don't say it exactly that way...but she gets the drift...it's the eyebrow arch I SWEAR.)
(now y'all may be wondering where their dad is a lot of the time...why isn't HE the one doing all the bossing and parenting and "stop that-ing"...he's there plenty...but I'm with the kids more than either of their "real" parents are. And I've been in their lives since they were pretty small. Teddy doesn't remember a life without me. I'm with them more b/c I have school hours and summers off for the most part. I became an accepted authority figure early on. I had to be or it would have been complete anarchy from the get go...and I'd have gone round the bend completely. Both kids know that I'm the one who knows the rules in and out. I know whose turn it is for which what-have-you...I know how many times I've told TEddy to STOP doing whatever he is doing. I just know the stuff mom's know. Even though I'm not real. And it allows me to be the boss of everyone...which is how I like it.)
SO...back to Sally and the Suncreen battle.
I smacked her with an eyebrow arch. And said very deliberately...Sunscreen. ON. NOW....or do I need to HELP you?
I think she briefly considered doing battle with me...but I think she felt sorry for me and decided to give me a break. She put the sunscreen on.
which was good b/c I was actually about to break down and cry...and I felt like I was going to barf...again. TUMMY BUG.
I needed something to shift my mood...it had gotten low. Teddy obliged me by streaking through the room without a stitch on.
Sally was sufficiently offended.
GROSS TEDDY. GO TO THE BATHROOM. YOU NEED TO BE IN PRIVACY WHEN YOU ARE NAKED. Right MissCammie?
Yes Teddy...please get your nekkid self back into the bathroom and get your trunks on.
Teddy LOVES it when I say "nekkid". He thinks it is just the funniest thing in the world. He is fascinated with my Southern accent. And for some reason the word nekkid sends him into fits of laughter.
Sure enough he threw his head back and laughed like a hyena. He is still on the earlier side of five, so he still has that darling baby laugh. The one that just sends sparkles through the air. It is a balm for any hurting soul, let me tell you.
REGARDLESS of darling laughter he WAS still nekkid...and we had been talking a lot about privacy for ones body when one was without clothing. You see..these children come from a "naked house". A house in which being naked in front of one another is no problem...it's not an issue when say, your five year old step son waltzes into the bathroom...where you are in the shower and sticks his head in the shower b/c HE wants to take a shower too...and is surprised when your reaction was not as welcoming as it might have been at say...mommy's house...*cough* This is a HUGE issue for MissCammie who did NOT come from a naked house, nor did Jay. We weren't even allowed to walk around in PJ's without a bathrobe on. I know there should be a happy medium and I do allow the kids to romp around in their PJ's...but naked family time is NOT something that is EVER on my agenda. I ALSO think it is just a safety thing to teach kids about privacy for their body. If they are comfortable being around just any old person with their birthday suit on, well that can lead to dangerous situations. Situations they may not realize are dangerous until it's too late. I may be uptight, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. You don't have to freak them out, just teach them about boundaries...y'know?
Which leads us to the next battle...the "cover up". Now I know that a lot of you are going to think I'm nuts. WHICH I have already admitted to. So...I also insist that Sally wear a cover up when walking from one location that is not a pool, to the location that IS a pool. She is 8 years old. And walking around in your bathing suit in places that are not for swimming would be like walking around at the grocery store in your undies. It's not appropriate. It's not ladylike. It makes MissCammie anxious b/c she has worked with a lot of perverts who get a kick out of watching young girls prance around in their bathing suits. SO I got her a darling little terry cover up. It's got a ruffle at the bottom and a hood and cute little puffed sleeves. She wears it for like FIVE seconds as she goes from room to pool. BFD.
But she goes through this every time...
Sally:MissCammie, do I have to wear my cover up?
Me:Oh my, are we already at the pool?
Sally: no
Me: Oh...then yes you do. * Eyebrow arch.*
She again toyed with the idea of doing battle but her pity for my hangdog look allowed only a small sigh as she pulled the cover up over her head.
good girl.
And just so people don't think I'm discriminating, I make Teddy wear a tank top with his trunks . So everybody is covered up.
We all trooped down to the pool, properly covered up and ready to hop in to the very warm water...which would make MissCammie gag.
Once we arrived, Sally ripped her cover up off to make a point. We were NOW at the pool MissCammie...what're you gonna do about it huh?! She said all this with her eyes...
I gave her half an arch and told her to smile for the camera!!
Teddy headed off at break neck speed towards the slide. Jay and I chorused "WALK" as we headed after him. Sally stood behind me and watched. She wanted to go on the slide, but she had to see her brother and father do it first...a couple of times. To make sure it was safe.
So she watched and they slid.
Here comes Teddy!!!
It looks like he survived...didn't grow any tentacles from toxic pool water...
Perhaps it's safe for Sally!!! She's gonna give it a try!!!
She did it!!!! YAY SallySue!!! She really enjoyed it. I was very proud of her. She worries worries about things. Even fun kid things. She'd rather never have any fun than break a rule. She got it into her head that she wasn't supposed to have goggles on when going down the slide. I don't know why she thought this, but she did. Which is why they are up on her head and not over her eyes. I insisted she could wear them. I asked a lifeguard even, just to make sure. But she still worried about it. I hate it that she has lost that carefree feeling. But rules are steadfast. They are what she can cling to when life is so unstable.
and now I'm crying again.
So here are some more pictures of the kiddies having fun with daddy while MissCammie stays dry and takes pictures...b/c who would take the pictures if I was IN the pool? EXACTLY.
I love this picture...Sally is hanging on to her daddy and he's got a hold of Teddy...he's keeping everyone afloat. *SNIFFLE* STOP that Cam...sheesh
Okay...this chapter got too long...again...as I tend to be VERY wordy. But that's me.
I SWEAR, Chef Mickey's and Pirate and Princess Party are up next!!!
And I really feel for your stepkids, dealing with their dumb mother. I hope she sees someday how much misery she's putting them through. 
I honestly think that I had enough hard knocks to learn that a big reaction usually earned you more hard knocks. I tend to go the "super calm, not really here" route during an event like that. It's later that I have the reaction. I'm nuts that way.
Fun for whom? Exactly. 
