2 good 2 not post!!

[tink2dw]

Dear Help Desk,
>
>Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
>noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to
>the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry
>applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
>In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
>programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs
>such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
>
>Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply
>crashes the system.
>
>I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
>avail.
>
>Please help!
>
>--Desperate
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Dear Desperate,
>
>Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
>package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
>
>Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then
>install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
>applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse
>can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour
>7.0 or Beer 6.1.
>
>Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly"
>WAV sound files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall
>another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications
>and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
>In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
>limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
>Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
>
>I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3
>
>--Help Desk

 

[Babblin'Boo]

AW my gawd, this is too funny!

 

[JulesMom]

This would be even funnier, if it weren't so true!

 

[kozmo]

hilarious!!!

 

[Mic]

After reading this, I realized my Boyfriend 5.0 had serious flaws, even before the upgrade! And let's not even discuss Son 1.0...I am still working on this one to prevent the same flawed applications that occurred in Husband 1.0.

 

[Pink Flamingo]

Love it!

 

[DisneyCrazy]

To: Technical Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began an unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire sections regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Technical Support

 

[disneefamily]

Disnee Dad Says..................................................You guys must buy your software at Wal Mart!
I got my Wife 1.0 in 1988, still runs great. Just a couple upgrades lately, namely, WDW97, WDW99, Hawaii00, DC01,WDW01, the new Hawaii02 and soon the new WDW02! Got the Housecleaning 3.1 for Husband 1.0, and when it works it works great, but seems to crash/or freeze alot. Self applications just don't seem to work too well on Husband 1.0 !

 

[mom2boys]

SOunds like Disnee Dad knows just how to keep wife 1.0 operating smoothly. Perhaps he could offer a tutorial for other users. Let me be the first to register my D(usually)H.