This picture illustrates just what sort of a trip we had:
That's right, folks, that is a DISNEY BUS we are riding in, and that is our first day.
Our flight left EARLY that morning. In fact, as I recall, DH didn't sleep that night, because we had to get up at 4 AM. Everything was set and ready to go the night before. All I had to do was remember to put my Acidopholous supplements in a cup of ice to keep it cold. A nurse friend told me to take that - she said it would help the bladder (it didn't). Ten minutes later, we were gone.
I just remembered WHY we took my husband's car to the airport. Oh, because that week, my car wouldn't start. So it was in the shop. I largely tried to forget about the expense of fixing it while we were at Disney but you know, those things hang over you like a dark cloud.
So as we're riding in DH's car, I realize he doesn't have a CD player. Which means, all the Disney songs I brought with me to "get us in the mood" were useless. I felt defeated. Deep down, I knew this wasn't the proper way to start a Disney trip...not without the "atmosphere."
Still, at that time, I was trying to be cheerful. Upbeat. I was going to Disney World. This is enough to convince, any other normal time, that I can fly. Which was exactly what we were going to do.
But once we got to the airport, it hit me. For those of you who know what I'm talking about - you know what I mean. The burning. The pain. The feeling like you just drank an entire bathtub-full of soda and you're bladder is telling you, "IT'S TIME TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Only you KNOW you didn't drink a bathtub full of ANYTHING - you only had a few sips of water. And yet, that is enough to send you over the edge.
So right before it was time to board, I hit the bathroom. And thought, "OK Colleen. We can do this. Everything will be OK. Disney will cure you."
So we boarded the plane, and waited for permission for takeoff.
I am not kidding you when I say that a full 20 minutes after my last bathroom break, I felt like my bladder was going to EXPLODE. Like I hadn't peed in WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course, right as we're taking off, when the plane is picking up speed and hitting EVERY. SINGLE. BUMP., that's when it was the WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I probably wanted to die at the moment. Or wet myself, whichever would put me out of my misery.
When we were finally in the air, what felt like FOREVER later, I begged the flight attendant for mercy. Because the Fasten Seatbelt sign was still lit, glaring at me with beady little eyes - laughing at me! The nice, sweet flight attendant let me go pee. I hope he got a raise that day.
Only, when I got to the bathroom, I discovered I COULDN'T pee. As in, it wouldn't come out!!!!! I panicked. I pushed. It finally came. And it's the weirdest, most unsettling feeling when you feel like all the 75% of your body's water is sitting in your bladder, but then only 10% of it comes out. I'd rather have my teeth drilled, thank you.
The flight was 1 hour, 45 minutes. And in that 1 hour, 45 minutes, I revisited that bathroom another 3 more times. Up until the very last chance I got before we landed. And when we landed, I found the closest bathroom, and went AGAIN.
After another couple of bathroom trips later in between the gate at which we landed, and the Magical Express station, we were finally on our way on the glorious Magical Express bus. I clenched my teeth and my hands together and prayed it wouldn't be too long of a ride to our resort.
Oh, but of course - we were the last stop. That darn Animal Kingdom Lodge!
When I picked myself up off the bus, I immediately became familiar with the bathrooms there at the Lodge. I knew we were going to be close friends the entire trip.
We checked in. Maybe the front desk guy saw the look of defeat in my eyes and took pity on me, because he upgraded us to a Pool View room, as opposed to the standard view that we booked. But wishful thinking aside, it was probably due to the construction.
I collapsed on the bed and began to cry.
Poor DH. His hands were tied. There was absolutely NOTHING he could do to make me feel better, so he suggested something that might:
"Let's go to the Magic Kingdom."
My bladder was running in 30 minute intervals. So I went to the bathroom before we got on the bus, and I went to the bathroom again when we got there. I am not exaggerating when I say that on this trip, I was more excited to see a TOILET than I was to see Cinderella's Castle.
Sad. So very, very sad.
Nevertheless this was the first thing we saw as we walked up Main Street:
DH's face broke into a smile. "It's like Kingdom Hearts in real life!" Because you know, there were all the Disney characters, and now the heads really do "talk," and he spent that summer after we got married playing Kingdom Hearts for me because I am a video game dummy but I wanted to play Kingdom Hearts SO BAD! Because I love Disney and all.
I shouted "Dreams Come True!" along with Mickey and the gang, hoping that I could suspend reality for a while here, and ignore my bladder. But an offended bladder is worse than a 2-year-old child...one CANNOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ignore it. Ever.
The first thing we did (after going to the bathroom), was Monster's Inc Laugh Floor. I took some pics here.
We really did enjoy it! My DH thought it was GREAT! In fact, we probably went back another 3 times to see it through the course of our 10-day trip, DH liked it so much. He always wanted to be "That Guy" but he never was. So much for dreams.
No, I shouldn't say that. I should be slapped for saying that!
I insisted we say hello to my old friend. DH was hesitant. He didn't know how to respond to giant-headed mice, and was a little disturbed that I actually wanted to "go do that." But who argues with a person with a sick bladder?
DH was pleasantly surprised. Mickey was THRILLED to see me again, and eager to meet my new husband. I gave Mickey a kiss, and he got all bashful, which made DH laugh. He was OK with the characters now. They were FUNNY!
So when we met Peter and Wendy, and they asked if because we were married, does that mean we are grownups, DH and I responded with absolute certainty, "NO!"
We rode Splash Mountain....
and Space Mountain, and that's when the 4 AM wake up call set in. We were both EXHAUSTED. It was mid-afternoon, only 2 hours of Magic Kingdom later, and we were on our way back to the resort. I probably hit the bathrooms 10 times in those 2 hours. No lie.
But when we got into bed, that's when we heard it - the banging.
The construction.
I sighed. I was too tired to care. I laid in bed as DH drifted off to bladder pain-free sleep, and began to feel my bladder spasm like crazy.
In a tearful panic, I called my mommy. She called my doctor for me (mommies are good for that) and doctor said I need a prescription called in to make the bladder "calm down" and ease the pain. But how could I pick up a prescription without a car?
Naturally, Disney has thought of this. For $59, I could get the prescription delivered to the resort. Having no other option, this is what I did. I was filled with a little hope - yes, maybe THIS would help!
Only the medicine wouldn't be due to arrive until later that evening.
By the time I had all this figured out, DH was up from his nap, consoling his panicked wife. "The stress is KILLING your bladder," he said, which was entirely true. "We need to take your mind off of things."
So we explored the resort a little bit.
And I decided that what I needed was some honest-to-goodness fireworks. Epcot - for what ails you.
It was a nice, cool evening. We explored World Showcase. DH was right - the less I thought about my bladder, the less it bothered me. Which meant that instead of 120% pain and discomfort, I *only* had 95%.
And then, in the distance, some ominous but beautiful-looking clouds:
We sought shelter in Mexico. DH LOVED the Mexico pavillion. I admit, I always have too, ever since I was 5 years old, where I got a marionette doll on our first trip.
We walked around the lake and settled in to a spot to watch the fireworks. It was, of course, close to a bathroom.
That's when the storm began.
Torrential rains. Ridiculously loud thunder. Constant lightning. But nooooo canceling the fireworks at Epcot! The show must go on! We were huddled in a store beside the lake, with about 5,000 other people, as the storms raged. We couldn't tell what was fireworks and what was lightning, until lightning struck the pond behind the lake, close enough that we felt a jolt and smelled the lovely burnt smell and oh yeah, it nearly gave me a heart attack, it scared me so much.
DH said, "Let's go back to the hotel. This is insane."
So in the midst of the beautiful Epcot fireworks, and the lovely Earth Globe, we ran "backwards" in the POURING rain to get a glimpse of what made my DH gasp and say, "Wow, this place is AMAZING!" And even though I've probably seen Illuminations more times than I count, I wholeheartedly agreed.
So we're running in the rain, with thunder and lightning crashing literally right above our heads, and me screaming "We're going to die! We're going to die!" when my bladder decides it MUST seek the nearest bathroom IMMEDIATELY!
I swear, the most INCONVENIENT times!!! Like it KNOWS!!!!!!
The storms raged on even as we finally made it to our bus. We collapsed there in the plastic purple seats, and that's when I took this picture:
There is one good thing from this day, though. Now, whenever we caught in a storm, or a big storm is raging outside, either he or I will say, "Look, honey, it's like Adventures at Epcot!"
It's an inside joke of sorts. But for all that we went through that first day at Disney, we look back on that stormy Epcot night...and smile. It was a pain to deal with at the time, but it's funny how time changes your perception of things.
When we got back to the resort, my meds were waiting. Relief at last!!!!!!
Or not?
Find out next time how we survived DAY TWO!!!!