May 10, 2008 Ship of Thieves! Stealing the Magic..AGAIN!!! Panama Canal FL to CA!!! Part 5

[lillygator]

well we've never gotten along all that well, she is a pretty toxic person. I was always on eggshells growing up as you never know what kind of mood she'll be in. The smallest things set her off. I feel like a divorced parent, I can't have a birthday party for my kids and invite my dad and her - she would pretty much hit the roof if she even knew I invited him. She is also pretty rude with my inlaws so I try to do holidays and parties separately which puts a strain on me.

 

[granmaz]

well we've never gotten along all that well, she is a pretty toxic person. I was always on eggshells growing up as you never know what kind of mood she'll be in. The smallest things set her off. I feel like a divorced parent, I can't have a birthday party for my kids and invite my dad and her - she would pretty much hit the roof if she even knew I invited him. She is also pretty rude with my inlaws so I try to do holidays and parties separately which puts a strain on me.

V, It's a shame, but she should realise and not act childish. Too late to expect that now though I suppose. At least we learn how not to behave as parents don't we?

 

[tigger137]

I think I hurt my mom's feelings and I didn't mean to. A couple days ago we were talking about the cruise and I said oh there may be cancellations close to the due date etc. Well she put in a call to the TA and got on a wait list and they called her today with a cat 9 room for two adults $6100. She said she didn't want to infringe and I blurted out that I didn't want to eat dinner with them every night. It came out all wrong. I have no problems with her coming it's just I don't want to spend all 15 nights with her and my sister. She abruptly got off the phone and won't answer. I didn't mean it meanly I meant I don't want to do everything together. If that makes any sense. She is very sensitive.

This makes perfect sense. After all, you planned this cruise and are looking forward to enjoying it with the people you chose to cruise with. I think it's unfair for your mom to want to 'muscle in' on that, particularly if she hasn't discussed it in depth with you first. She may say she doesn't want to infringe, but to me it seems as if she already has.

I can really understand you don't want to do everything together. Twice we took my dad with us to WDW and in the planning he insisted he would want to spend some time on his own, either when he needed to rest or if we were going places he wasn't interested in. In reality, he insisted on coming with us everywhere and didn't give us a minute to ourselves. He would traipse round the shops like a petulant toddler so that we gave up and went back to the hotel. And on our wedding anniversary he wouldn't let us go to dinner on our own, but then refused to eat in the restaurant we'd planned, and the next 3 we suggested, and we ended up in the food court at POR! The first time we took him (just after my mum died) we tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but said we'd never do it again. 10 years later we relented and took him again, thinking from what he said when we were planning that it would be better, and it was worse!

I don't want to get flamed here because I know many people are very close to their parents, but families are complicated things, and for me the idea of my dad being on a cruise with me would pretty much be my worst nightmare. Yet I would've loved the opportunity to cruise with my mum, particularly on DCL as she loved WDW. We had talked of the 4 of us going to WDW together, but she died before we had the chance.

Perhaps you can speak to your sister and discuss strategy with her. And if you don't ask for staterooms or dining to be linked, then maybe that will help give you your own space.

 

[granmaz]

I agree so much with what you have said. I am very wary of holidaying with my children, but I would certainly give plenty of time for them to have alone if we did.

 

[granmaz]

Mary, I am sorry you didn't have the time to cruise with your mum. She must have been young when she died.

 

[lillygator]

thanks for sharing all your opinions. It helps to see how others view it as well. I am not going to worry anymore about it. I have spent too much time in my life worrying and the ball is in her court. I am sure for the girls sake she'll come around.

 

[granmaz]

V. It is hard isn't it.


Had a lazy day today. After the house jobs we went to the garden centre that has aquarium fish and a coffee shop. so, after coffee and a scone we chatted fosh for a while and bought the supplies. Popped home for a while then walked in to town. It promptly began raining, but it hasn't been as bad as we thought it was going to be. Ironing for me, aquarium duties for John, and now chicken and veg for tea!!!

 

[birkner]

This makes perfect sense. After all, you planned this cruise and are looking forward to enjoying it with the people you chose to cruise with. I think it's unfair for your mom to want to 'muscle in' on that, particularly if she hasn't discussed it in depth with you first. She may say she doesn't want to infringe, but to me it seems as if she already has.

I can really understand you don't want to do everything together. Twice we took my dad with us to WDW and in the planning he insisted he would want to spend some time on his own, either when he needed to rest or if we were going places he wasn't interested in. In reality, he insisted on coming with us everywhere and didn't give us a minute to ourselves. He would traipse round the shops like a petulant toddler so that we gave up and went back to the hotel. And on our wedding anniversary he wouldn't let us go to dinner on our own, but then refused to eat in the restaurant we'd planned, and the next 3 we suggested, and we ended up in the food court at POR! The first time we took him (just after my mum died) we tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but said we'd never do it again. 10 years later we relented and took him again, thinking from what he said when we were planning that it would be better, and it was worse!

I don't want to get flamed here because I know many people are very close to their parents, but families are complicated things, and for me the idea of my dad being on a cruise with me would pretty much be my worst nightmare. Yet I would've loved the opportunity to cruise with my mum, particularly on DCL as she loved WDW. We had talked of the 4 of us going to WDW together, but she died before we had the chance.

Perhaps you can speak to your sister and discuss strategy with her. And if you don't ask for staterooms or dining to be linked, then maybe that will help give you your own space.

I can see exactly where you are coming from about your parents. My mother loved to travel, however, my father always wanted to stay home. When I was young, my parents would travel with my grandparents but once they were gone, that was the end of traveling as far as my dad was concerned. They did one trip to Europe together after they both retired but as far as my Dad was concerned other than going to the the Lake house, no more traveling.

I am more like my grandparents I guess with a sense of adventure. I would never presume to invite myself and DH along on a vacation with my kids. However, I would invite them along on a vacation with us and let them make their choice. Setting up the ground rules before you leave and sticking to them is the only way to go even if someone gets upset. If my DD said to me she wanted more time alone, I would respect her wishes as after all she is an adult, not a child anymore.

Sometimes it is impossible to have your own space especially on a cruise ship. Grinning and bearing it often times make everyone even more upset. I really sympathize with "toxic" parents.

However, I am now the older generation so I am trying my best to spend time with the kids and GK's but not step on anyones toes. It is always a balancing act.

Just my thoughts....

 

[gydell]

If my mom came with us I would probably throw myself overboard before we left the port!

 

[lillygator]

ugh, not being able to hit the pool is killing me! I think we are just going to have burgers tonight or chicken sands on the grill. It's gorgeous out.

Who knew wax paper is such fun? I rolled out two long pieces for the girls and they are having fun tracing hands and feet.

 

[granmaz]

If my mom came with us I would probably throw myself overboard before we left the port!

Maybe my children think that about me?

ugh, not being able to hit the pool is killing me! I think we are just going to have burgers tonight or chicken sands on the grill. It's gorgeous out.

Who knew wax paper is such fun? I rolled out two long pieces for the girls and they are having fun tracing hands and feet.

It would kill me too not being able to use the pool when it it just right there. Your girls are having lots of fun though.

 

[gydell]

Maybe my children think that about me?



It would kill me too not being able to use the pool when it it just right there. Your girls are having lots of fun though.

No - you are probably are a fun mom. My mom never has anything good to say about anything. It brings me down just being around her.

 

[lillygator]

they must be having a party across the street....there are cars everywhere!

 

[GatorFamily]

Happy Friday everyone! We had to add something to the pool to balance the ph so no swimming tonight...(48hrs) but we'll watch High School Musical.
Today is Samantha's last day with her class. I think the week has been hard for everyone. The kids are anxious to go off to K, everyone is talking about it and I think Samantha feels a bit left out. Her teacher told us last night that she will be the special helper and welcoming all the new kids on Monday. I hope she does ok and continues to be a good girl.

I feel the same about my DD. Fortunately, the a large group of kids on the older side like my daughter and I think that will make it easier for her. She is still on the waiting list to get back into her preschool from last year since I didn't hold her spot. They put her number one on the list so hopefully she'll be in by Christmas. We are enjoying our time together though I think your DD will do well...she'll be the leader

 

[GatorFamily]

YIPPEE!!! WOOHOO!!! YAHOOEE!!! While I was out renting my videos for the evening, my best friend from back home (about an hour and a half away) called me and asked if I want some company tonight. She desperately needs a break from her 3 kids and is leaving them with their dad and coming to party with me and have an evening of not being a mom! So we're headed to the comedy club for lots of laughs and a few beers.

Bye for today!

hope you had a good time

 

[GatorFamily]

The reason for so many naps was that starting the second night we lost an hour a night for 6 nights. DCL sure saved on breakfast since most the people we knew didn't get up in time. We slept till 12 one day and normally we get up around 7am. At least this cruise we will gain time -not lose it!

I'm so happy we'll gain time since we like to nap to have more energy in the evening...we like to relax on vacations but we do like to theme park hop non-stop and then crash at the beach in the end That's a bummer about losing time on your cruise every hour counts

 

[lillygator]

What did everyone think of HSM2?

 

[GatorFamily]

What did everyone think of HSM2?

Didn't watch it yet ...was it just as good as the first or better?

 

[GatorFamily]

Michael Vick----what a waste.

That's so sad he is blowing it! What was he thinking

 

[lillygator]

I liked it, it was a bit cheesy but hey, the girls liked it.