to tell or not to tell???...

StelmackFamily

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Planning a trip to Disney for my husband, myself, DD 5.5 and DD who will turn 8 while on the trip. the 5.5 year old has never been to Disney and the last time my oldest was there, she was 2.5.
Do I tell them we are going?? ( June 2018) trip or wait and tell them the night before???
I am such a planner, and the anticipation and excitement makes me happy, but is it worth the wait to see the surprise on the girls faces? Or tell them soon and let them be apart of the planning???
 
how do they handle surprise? we tried to surprise our kids once, we told them we were going to Nana & Papa's to celebrate Papa's birthday, got to the house, asked my dad where he wants to go for his birthday, he says 'disney world!' , we say ok sounds good! Kids proceed to cry for an hour because they wanted to stay at Nana & Papas house.. even though Nana & Papa were coming with us.. Now I just tell them in advance and they get pretty hyped up about it, though arguably not as much as I do.
 
I suggest telling them in advance, BUT make the announcement itself a special little event. Something cutesy, if that's your style. Maybe as a "last day of school surprise," if you're going after they're done with the academic year. I have a friend who surprised her two daughters by having them complete a scavenger hunt to find letters that, when arranged, spelled "DISNEY WORLD." I announced a surprise Disney trip once as a Valentine's Day gift. There's no wrong way to do it. Just give them enough time to mentally as well as practically prepare (as in packing).
 
Planning a trip to Disney for my husband, myself, DD 5.5 and DD who will turn 8 while on the trip. the 5.5 year old has never been to Disney and the last time my oldest was there, she was 2.5.
Do I tell them we are going?? ( June 2018) trip or wait and tell them the night before???
I am such a planner, and the anticipation and excitement makes me happy, but is it worth the wait to see the surprise on the girls faces? Or tell them soon and let them be apart of the planning???
There have been actual studies on this. People enjoy special events more when they have time to look forward to them than when they're a last-minute surprise.
 


I know everyone is saying to tell the kids ahead of time but I always wanted to get surprised like the kids in videos I would see on things like America's Funniest Videos. Maybe tell them you have a surprise for them and don't tell them until the night before? That way they can look forward to something and have a big surprise the night before also
 
I say tell them but wait until it is closer, like a month or 2 weeks out. I always find it so much fun to be able to talk to them about it and show them videos about it. Half the fun is the planning and sharing it with them.
 


I just told my kids today. We’re leaving in 19 days. My six year old started singing songs about how excited she is. I think it will be enough time for her to get (and stay) excited but not too long that she’ll just be sick of waiting and asking “how many more days.”
 
I just told my kids today. We’re leaving in 19 days. My six year old started singing songs about how excited she is. I think it will be enough time for her to get (and stay) excited but not too long that she’ll just be sick of waiting and asking “how many more days.”

That's our plan too - We are going to tell them on a random day about 30 days out.

Funny story, last year we went to Cuba and the trip just so happened to fall on DD's 5th birthday. So she didn't feel like she was missing anything by not having a party, we hyped up a LOT how she got to spend her birthday on the beach, and we had a boat cruise etc etc. Fast forward to this year and we asked what she wanted for her birthday, and she said a trip to Jamaica! LOL. So, there will be no tying this trip to any special occasions so we don't raise future expectations too high!
 
We've been to Disney twice and both times we surprised our kids. The first time we told them the night before with gift boxes left at our front door. There was all sorts of Disney and princess stuff in the box with a cute book I made at the end telling them we're going to Disney World tomorrow. Their bags were packed in the car already and off we went. They loved the surprise!!! The second trip was less flashy, my husband and I had shirts made. But the car was packed and we were ready to go. My daughter was concerned about how her teachers were going to feel with her missing school... Even after we told her that her teachers already knew and she had didn't even know she had already done her makeup work. We decided after that, for our trip in 2018 that will be during school, we will let them know a little in advance. My sister-in-law went the same time we went to Disney last year and she told her kids months in advance. She spent months hearing her kids ask when are they going, is it today and find her daughter trying to pack for Disney almost daily. She regretted telling them so far in advance. She wishes she would've surprised them or just told them a week before. If you kids don't like surprises, I would definitely tell them in advance, even if it's just a month.

For my husband and myself, the surprising of the kids was almost as fun as the trip itself. I love the planning of how to tell them and the looks on their faces was absolutely worth it to us!! They didn't even realize that they secretly had been helping plan the trip. We'd watch hour long specials of Disney on the TV about the parks and hotels and they would mention I love that hotel, I want to go on that ride, that looks like a fun place to eat. We took their thoughts and added them to our trips :) and the second surprise we would say "if we ever go back again, what would you want to do the same, different, ect" and we would plan accordingly. So they were still part of the process, even if they didn't realize it :)
 
We told the kids last time (2 years ago), lots of excitement leading up to their first Disney trip and first plane ride... We just booked for Poly in October (They will be 7 and 6 for the trip) and are planning to surprise them. This will be a driving trip with a lot of side stops along the way which should make for some fun misdirection until we are close enough for them to figure it out. :-)
 
For those that do tell, and have smallish children, two words... "Countdown Calendar". Post it where they check off days or tear away dates, something they can see and comprehend. It helps build the excitement and lets them participate. Ok, it works for the grown-ups too!
 
I don't have kids but seen my cousin do the surprise thing.
Not typing details to long but I did not go as they expected.
All worked out in the end but after what I witnessed.
I say Tell them.
 
Tell them!

While it may be fun for you and DH to surprise them, it's not really fair to them to not let them enjoy the anticipation and planning. You can still surprise them with the trip, just do it sooner, rather than later.
 
We've done it both ways and to be honest, my kids have liked to be a part of the planning and the excitement. Our trip last year was a surprise and it was really last minute and we did the Christmas Party (something they had been wanting to do for years) so it went over well. But our kids know about our next trip in a few months and they have been enjoying the planning. We let them choose a TS restaurant, an extra activity, and they actually chose the hotel when we were narrowing it down to two. (they chose it based on which pool they liked better, of course) I think surprises can be fun, but I lean toward allowing them to participate in the planning because that is stretching out the fun for months.
 
I would tell them. We surprised our kids a few years ago and my 6 year-old daughter was actually sad that she didn't get to help me plan out the vacation (totally her personality). My younger ones were too young to really know what they were getting into, it would have been nice to build up there anticipation a little.
 
I have done both. My 15 year old DD is helping plan this one, and I let let make some decisions when she went at 7. At 9, I surprised her, for a variety of reasons (including not wanting to deal with my exH about it, so it was partly for her and partly for me). While the surprise was fun, and she had an appropriately awesome surprise reaction, the whole thing was a little overwhelming for her (she is on the autism spectrum). I wouldn't do it again, but I am glad I did it once. I agree with PPs who say you have to know your kids. It can go very badly.
 
We surprised our kids for our October 2017 trip. It was their first time to WDW and first time on a plane. It was tough to keep the secret for so long but it was totally worth it. Their reaction was amazing and we had a fantastic trip. We are currently planning an August 2018 trip and I pretty much told them after we booked it. May do another surprise trip at some point though. It was pretty awesome.
 
We include our kids in the planning process. The 3 little's don't really plan much, but our older 2 love planning where to eat and what to ride. We might choose to surprise them next time.
 

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