My daughter's roommate always asks her when she goes out when she

[JanetRose]

plans to return and every weekend asks her if she is going home for the weekend - it is driving my daughter crazy and she doesn't understand why her roommate seems like she doesn't want my daughter around. Is that sometime other college roommates deal with? I told her the next time she asks if she is going home for the weekend, answer back, 'No, are you?'.

 

[Briarprincess]

It could just be that your daughter's roommate makes plans and doesn't want to have people in the room when your daughter gets back. I have several friends who live on campus and hate bothering their roommates when having people over.
Also, the roomie might like knowing when to expect her back so she doesn't get scared when someone comes into the room late at night.

 

[Megster]

She probably isn't doing it to make your DD feel unwelcome. Not wanting to bother her with other people, or maybe she even wants to know so that if you DD doesn't return she can call the police. If this is something that is really bothering your DD she needs to talk to her roomie right away. The longer it goes on the harder it will be to bring it up later on. Also it will probably make for more problems in the long run because all the little things will begin to add up!

 

[HaleyB]

I don't think that is at all a strange thing to want to know, for all the reasons already posted. My son and his roomate have a dry erase board and they always leave their plans on it "off to lunch, be back later (bbl)" kind of notes. When you share living space with another person it is nice to know when to expect them back.

However, is there more to it than the questions? Is your daughter feeling like the room mate wants her to leave? Is her room mate controling? Is it possible they are not getting off on a good foot?

If you are worried you can call the Resident Assistant (or email them or whatever) and ask for her to check up on things. See if she gets a sense that something is wrong. The RA should be descreet if you ask her to be, so your daughter and her room mate will not know you are checking up on them.

 

[Miss Kelly]

It sounds like your daughter's roomate wants her to leave so she can have company. IMHO. Does the roomate have a boyfriend?

 

[nmudisneyfan]

She could just be concerned.
Or have people over.
Or she's nosey.
Has your daughter talked to her roommate about it?

I had a suitemate my freshman year, who freaked out when I was gone overnight (I was staying in a hotel room with my parents). She hugged me so tight when I got back and then told me to "never do that to her again!" So I made sure to tell her where I was going from then on.

 

[pjd02176]

When I was in college it was always nice when the roommate went home for the weekend.... I could invite company over

 

[SnowWhiteProteje54]

I would ask my roomate things like that if I was going to have a lot of people over or if I was planning on staying in and wanting a quiet evening. But if it is making your DD uncomfortable she should talk to her roomate about her nagging nature, maybe she dosen't realize she is making your DD uncomfortable.

I hope it gets better!

 

[singingpixie]

I agree, it's most likely just a curiousity/making plans thing. My first week of freshman year I was watching a movie w/ a guy and we both fell asleep (literally!) and I woke up to my panicked roommate calling my cell at 6AM to make sure I hadn't been kidnapped- I was planning on being home by 2. Also, I would ask if my roommate was going home for the weekend before inviting people over late, etc. because she was a very light sleeper and even studying together w/ quiet talking would keep her up. I'd say assume the best unless you have other reasons to think it's more than that. Oh, and about talking to the RA- most schools won't let you contact them directly because they'd be giving you their dorm room (basically home) phone numbers- that would mean that some overly concerned parent could call whenever they wanted! not that most parents would, but as a precaution. Your daughter will probably have to talk to the RA herself... which would be good anyway, since she's an adult now and should be able to start to handle her own problems.