I just created a new profile. I've been a member for years but I need to protect my privacy.
My 16 year old daughter has an eating disorder. She also has depression and anxiety, and I suspect OCD. We found out about it in April. When she told me about it, she said it had been going on since December.
I've been taking her to a nutritionist, a psychiatrist and her pediatrician since April. I believed she was getting better. She made it seem like she was. Then this morning she went for her yearly physical at the doctor and tearfully confessed that she has been making herself throw up 5x a day. She has been telling everyone what we wanted to hear. I had so much hope, but she is worse than before.
To say I'm upset is an understatement. I'm distraught and I need someone to tell me that this can get better. She's going to see an eating disorder specialist tomorrow and they may put her in an in treatment center. We have told no one about this but that may have to change.
I'm just devastated that my beautiful girl is going through this. She's a wonderful girl. So caring, thoughtful, appreciative, sweet. She's an absolute joy. I wish she could see herself through my eyes.
Thanks for any advice or encouragement you can give me. I really need it.
Moeg, I'll chime in. I thought about privately messaging you but the truth is, I think part of the real danger of eating disorders is that people are so often private about them, so I don't mind sharing publicly, especially since in my real life I'm quite open about my past.
I struggled with this personally. In college (age 18) I became anorexic for approximately a year. Once during summer break my mom found my journal and discovered the anorexia and confronted me about it. She made me go to counseling, go on Lexapro, do the whole song and dance. So... I stopped being anorexic... and became bulimic instead. The bulimia lasted about 8-9 more years and my mom did NOT know about that. As far as she knew, I was cured.
Essentially I lost a decade of my life to this crap. One thing that helped tremendously was telling other people (friends and family) so that they wouldn't "let" me do it. I told my husband that if we go out to dinner, don't let me go "take a shower" right after we get home, etc. A moment never came to pass that he had to intervene because frankly once the secret was out, I didn't want to do it anymore (well, I didn't want to deal with the aftermath/shame of it). I can't remember when I stopped making myself sick completely. The last years of it I would only do it after a big meal or something compared to in the "heyday" when I was doing it several times a day. I'd say it's only been probably 6-7 years since I went without doing it at all. I am 34 now.
She is quite young, so please don't expect this to be fixed instantly. Many, many, many, many, many folks with eating disorders have to go through a long battle, just like alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. It's not like you go away once and are cured. The thoughts are always in your head. You kind of just have to come to terms with your own life and self esteem and self worth and at 16, you're often just figuring that out. I was in my mid to late-20's when I finally felt comfortable enough to "stop" (although like I said, the thoughts never really leave you). My personal advice would be to bring it out of the shadows and talk about it openly with her. Like I said, I think one of the most dangerous things about it is the secrecy and shame.
Hugs to you. I'm not sure if it would even help but I'm always available if she would like to PM me!