How do you quiet the one upper?

She's like Kristen Wiig's character on SNL...the one upper. Next time she does it, you one-up her in a crazy over the top way.

You: I got stuck in traffic for 20 minutes this morning.

Her: I was stuck for an hour!

You: Well I was stuck because a tractor trailer full of chickens hit a truck carrying chocolate syrup and overturned and there was chicken running all over the road covered in chocolate sauce, and the truck pinned a bus full or orphans under it so they needed me to help free all 30 orphans and the nun driving the bus from the wreck, but then the nun had a heart attack and luckily I was the ONLY one who knew CPR so I was able to revive her and save her life! Busy morning!
Haha! This made me laugh, don’t forget to begin that before you even left the house you had to feed all of the unicorns in your pasture & the little one, Rainbow, got loose!
 
My sister-in-law is my one-upper. I'm not sure there is anything you can do. Like your co-worker, if you question her story (which is either completely false or only has the barest shred of truth) then she "never said that" or "you're twisting what I said." Um, no... The best way I've found to handle it is just to say "Oh, that's great..." and move on with your day. But I agree, it's VERY tiresome.
 
OMG - I worked with this lady once who was wayyyy worse than your lady, she ....


couldn't resist. But seriously, I think the advice of giving it the smallest amount of attention possible is the best. Because negative attention is still attention, and clearly it's attention that she wants. Give a very short response and turn your full attention to someone else as soon as possible.
:lmao:
 


I’m around someone like this. When she does it in a group we say “that’s interesting” and then turn back to the original person and ask them a follow up. So after she said the part about her daughter and the hookah, I would have said “intersting” turned to the other person and said “so what happened when the police saw it was a B.B. gun?”

Eventually the one upper tones it down since they don’t get an attention from it, and I wouldn’t engage in any one on one conversations.

There’s also nothing to gain by challenging them in my opinion. It’s your workplace, it already annoys her when you don’t agree, just smile and don’t engage.
:thumbsup2 Perfect advice - I love it!
 
Im at my breaking point with a co-worker, an extreme one upper. 90% of what she says is not even true. I tried to call her out a couple of times, but she snapped and said she never said what I repeated. Is there anyway to let her know Im on to her without causing conflict?

I can not say anything or make any comment without her jumping in and saying she or her daughter did it bigger and better. I cant deal with this one more day....and its been 20 years! But the past 3 - 4 years its gotten really bad.

I'm at my breaking point with two co-workers. 91% of what they say is not even true. I tried to call them out three times but then they said they never said what I repeated twice.
I cannot say anyting or make two comments without them jumping in and saying them or their 2 daughters did it bigger and better. I can't deal with this even 1/2 more day... and it's been 21 years!! but the past 4-5 years have gotten really bad.
 


Sometimes it is almost fun to egg them on to see how ludicrous their stories can become.

Otherwise, a "That's nice" and then return to the other conversation is the most effective thing I can think of to do.
 
I'd probably stop talking about things that she could one up you on.
Then again I am more of a listener than a talker so it would be easier for me.
 
Find a way to use her as one of the people you talk about.

Something like, "yeah, I was talking with someone and they were going on about this person and I said yeah, I know some people like that"... then when the one upper tries to one up you, let her say her peace then be like "yeah, I wasn't done yet, I told them all about you!" and walk away.
 
The old 'brush-off'.
The 'disregard'.....
The "ohhh that's nice...." with the clear impression of the 'here we go again eye-roll...' and then something else to be busy with.

This person isn't worth the energy it takes to be annoyed or upset.
Seriously.... THAT is what these persons are going for. Don't give it to them.
Don't feed the animal.
 
Yes, each time I try to call her out, he dlislikes me a little more (Like really 3 hour commute? I thought you said it was like 5 minutes." She will quickly snap and say she never said that). We still speak, but arent best buddies. New people will come into our department and she will impress them for a year or so, but then they catch on.

Yes, it gets uncomfortable if I try to hint Im not believing her story, or question her statement.
Why would you even want to call her out? You are just reducing yourself to her level, actually trying to one up her by trying to put her down and make yourself look the better. Does it really matter in the long run that she knows whether you believe her story or not?

Be the mature one and let her words go in one ear and out the other. Don't let it get to you. Ask yourself why you need to control her by correcting her. Just nod your head and say "hmmm, ok" when she tells her wild stories. She obviously craves attention and knowing she is getting under your skin might just be her game.
 
I can really sympathize with your situation. I also work with a one upper, and have done so for 17 years.

She used to really piss me off. Our daughters are the same age which doesn’t help. She brags constantly about her daughter to the point where I stopped asking her about her. I have gone out of my way to avoid her which was easy until she started bringing a student to my classroom every day. She couldn’t stop comparing our daughters, even when my daughter got on the Dean’s List, she still topped me with some outrageous comment.

What works for me now is to simply listen. I nod my head and smile. I answer her questions about my daughter honestly with very little detail and information. No more conversations that escalate to insanity. It takes two and I refuse to engage.
 

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