Hesitating on doing a solo trip...

CatNipRules

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
So, my son will be 21 next month. I've never done Disney solo. My husband passed away in 2016 and we've going on 2 trips in September since then.

He has no desire to go again this soon. He wants to wait a few years. I'm honestly okay with that.

However....

A friend will be there from October 27th until November 10th of this year. She invited me along and I'm seriously considering joining her for a few days. I want to go and I'm all excited about it. I've found that going with non-planners is exhausting.

So I want to tag along for a few days. I know I want to do it, but something is holding me back.

Maybe it's a little bit of sadness at the fact that my son doesn't want to go. Maybe a little bit of guilt. Maybe both of those things. I've looked up airfare for the trip. Priced it out and even got to the payment page, but something stopped me from hitting send. Sighs...

I'm just like, I know I wanna do it. It will be good for me, but everytime I think about going by myself I get all emotional. I'm not sure quite what's holding me back. Ugh....
 
So, my son will be 21 next month. I've never done Disney solo. My husband passed away in 2016 and we've going on 2 trips in September since then.

He has no desire to go again this soon. He wants to wait a few years. I'm honestly okay with that.

However....

A friend will be there from October 27th until November 10th of this year. She invited me along and I'm seriously considering joining her for a few days. I want to go and I'm all excited about it. I've found that going with non-planners is exhausting.

So I want to tag along for a few days. I know I want to do it, but something is holding me back.

Maybe it's a little bit of sadness at the fact that my son doesn't want to go. Maybe a little bit of guilt. Maybe both of those things. I've looked up airfare for the trip. Priced it out and even got to the payment page, but something stopped me from hitting send. Sighs...

I'm just like, I know I wanna do it. It will be good for me, but everytime I think about going by myself I get all emotional. I'm not sure quite what's holding me back. Ugh....
But, you wouldn't be going solo, your friend invited you. You should go. Have fun!
 
I lost my DH in 2015. We also went to Disney as a family about every two years. Before he passed, he made two trips, one with DS and one with brother/sister while I stayed home. We were able to talk about what he wanted and what I thought my reaction to his passing. I told him that after a period of time I would consider going to Disney solo. He encouraged this. As my DH passed away in his son's arms while I called hospice to the home, my son later asked if he could join me on my first trip. He did and we bought a pick a pearl (DS's birthstone) during our trip. I had a pendant made with my wedding ring nestled inside my husband's held together by a claddaugh. That pearl we bought from our first trip without him is set in the middle of our heart. Sorry, got off track.

Anyway, I made a solo trip after that. It was bittersweet in some ways but over all I found peace there as well. Our last trip together was before he got sick for our 25th wedding anniversary. We did Hoop De Doo and he was chosen to be Davy's angel in the skit. It was the only thing I planned where I thought I might get emotional but I was able to laugh. The point is life is short and if it brings you joy, go for it. Do what YOU want but don't try to recreate past trips and it is ok to cry if the mood strikes. Plan your portion of the trip to try something new. For me, that solo trip was about tours (Wild Africa is fantastic), character meals which we only did on our first trip to WDW when DS was young then no one wanted to do again, and seeing the parks for the experience. Before our trips were about doing the rides commando style. I did one ride which was Soarin as I had not seen the new version. I spent time on the trails at AK instead of a walk through. You get the idea. Don't feel guilty to have a good time without your loved one. Solo dining is not as hard as you think. Do counter service if you think it will be a problem. Heck one day I just had an ice cream cone for lunch-something I never would have done with family. In the end, do what is best for you and not what everyone thinks you should do. Peace.
 
My situation does not even come close to yours. Still, I understand the apprehension. I took my daughters to Disney every year as they were growing. We even lived in Florida for two years and went every few weeks. My last trip was seven years ago. I was happily married at the time, visited with my then husband, grown daughters. They have since married and both planning to be pregnant sometime soon. I am now three years single, have traveled a bit with a daughter each year. I am a traveler and the bug is in full bloom. I have a significant birthday coming up in October and have considered what I would like to do (my friends do not share my passion for Disney). I have decided to take my Inner Child back to the World for a week of celebration during Food and Wine Festival.
I think making the decision and surviving the first "outing" will do wonders for you. Guilt is a wasted emotion. Be happy. Life, as you know passes quickly, children grow up and we are responsible for creating our own joy. I hope you decide to go with your friend. And if you happen to be there October 14-21, I would be happy to meet up for a dinner or day.
 


Hey CatNipRules ..... Do It. It's a new chapter in your book. Be prepared for a few tears. And be open to seeing the World with new eyes. Now ... let's talk about traveling with non-planners. There is you challenge and the really big "UGH!". You need to ease into the conversation, or the planning video (does WDW still do those DVDs?). Need to have that conversation that starts: So what are you excited about doing at WDW? Have Fun / Have Memories / Make New Ones.
 
Don't be afraid to live your life! We all know that our children will grow up one day and leave the nest. We need to not let being a Mom define us and be our own person. You know you want to go, so go and have fun! My kids are still teens but I have been going solo every year for several years for the F&WF and truly enjoy my time.
 
So, my son will be 21 next month. I've never done Disney solo. My husband passed away in 2016 and we've going on 2 trips in September since then.

He has no desire to go again this soon. He wants to wait a few years. I'm honestly okay with that.

However....

A friend will be there from October 27th until November 10th of this year. She invited me along and I'm seriously considering joining her for a few days. I want to go and I'm all excited about it. I've found that going with non-planners is exhausting.

So I want to tag along for a few days. I know I want to do it, but something is holding me back.

Maybe it's a little bit of sadness at the fact that my son doesn't want to go. Maybe a little bit of guilt. Maybe both of those things. I've looked up airfare for the trip. Priced it out and even got to the payment page, but something stopped me from hitting send. Sighs...

I'm just like, I know I wanna do it. It will be good for me, but everytime I think about going by myself I get all emotional. I'm not sure quite what's holding me back. Ugh....
First off, sorry for your loss. Memories are good, but, sometimes painful to relive especially if it is so much different then your previous experiences.

There is not much else I can say other then you have been dealt a major eye opening event and that is life is short. None of us know if we have a tomorrow, no matter what our ages. Your son doesn't want to go just yet and he is young and probably sees a lot of future ahead. That is fine, but, we are talking about you. It is obvious that you want to take this trip and you have no reason to feel guilty. You have to live your life just as your son has to live his in the manner that he feels is right for him.

I have added part of a post I had just recently posted that might help. What I said, I am not going to try and explain, it is just how things happened for me, but, I might be helpful to you.
It really depends on your mind set. If you go in there convinced that it isn't going to be all that much fun, that is what you will get. I told this story before, but, shortly after my divorce (years ago) I decided to go because WDW always made me feel good and stress free. (at least worldly stress) The first couple of days I just sat around and remembered the times with family and young kids. Melancholy at best. Self pity in bucket loads. In short, I wasn't having a good time. I was lost, lonely and completely overwhelmed about what the future held.

Years ago when I went with the family, the theme of CoP was "now is the best time of your life" and it turned out to be true. Now that wasn't quite as accurate. This was the first trip back after they put "Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" back in. I went to it and sometime in the middle of the show that song struck a nerve. I left the attraction thinking that I can fix my life and tomorrow will be a good time to start it. I left with a sense of focus, of blossoming plans of the future and determination to stop whining and get it back. I got it back and it turned out to be the best time of my life after all. I made massive changes in my life and before long I was back on track, happy and looking forward to the future.
Now I'm not altogether sure if my experience morphs with your current feelings, but, maybe something can be gleaned from my experience. Hopefully it will, but, whatever your decision it should be based on your needs and not necessarily that of someone else.
 
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Your hesitation is completely understandable. I suggest going with your friend, but going to one of the parks you didn't frequent as much w/ your own family. Or go to the park that has newer attractions you haven't seen yet. Either way, it's about giving yourself the best chance to make new memories.

I've done Disney myself 4 times, and gone w/ different family members 4 times. It's more fun with others, a lot more laughing, a lot more memories. But it's more satisfying by myself, if that makes sense... you never have to compromise, you get to choose every part of the day, where to eat, which ride, when to take a break, where to stand for fireworks, etc.

You mentioned flying there. That makes it a bit of a monetary investment just for a solo outing. I like your idea of doing part of it with your friend.

And who knows? In a few years you may have a grandchild, and that's when Disney REALLY gets fun :)
 

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