Debt Dumpers - 2018

Dayve--I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I will keep you in my prayers and healing thoughts.

Please listen to the very truthful and heartfelt response by your dear friend, Ngwira, who knows you and cares a lot about you.

Hugs!
 
Things continue to improve financially for me and DH. He just received a double digit raise as of his paycheck dated 7/15! With this new found money, we have some house projects that we can accomplish now, however we intend to make extra payments to our lingering student loan debt.

My birthday is July 29th and we have a prepaid trip to the nation's capital. We're only staying for the weekend but when booking my trip I mentioned to the hotel concierge that we were celebrating and he upgraded us to a 1900 square foot suite! Our 13th wedding anniversary is the day after my birthday so we are celebrating two special occasions. Gift cards bought at a discount should cover all meals.

Come August, our biggest expenditure outside of normal bills will be our 8 night stay at WDW. Food will be the biggest expenditure. I may purchase WDW gift cards in advance so that everything is truly prepaid. We also have our 6 month car insurance bill which should be about $700.

I take my car into the dealer tomorrow for routine maintenance but won't be surprised if they "find" some needed repair work. I drive 500 miles per week so it's possible. Hoping the damage isn't too bad.
 
Here's a virtual hug, Dave. I'm so sorry you are having these issues. I hope things get better. Sounds to me like you are a bit depressed. Emotional stress when not handled properly manifests into physical harm to the body. Stress kills. Can lead to all kinds of physical ailments.

Your fiance needs to get it together. Marriage is a partnership. It's not 50/50 but 100/100. Each partner needs to at least TRY to give 100 percent to a relationship to make it work. If he sees that him not working is contributing to stress which is leading you to have health issues, he should be applying to ANY place that will have him. I just don't agree with him still being "unemployed" after all this time. He can even work under the table to help you out. Just not ok.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but it boils my blood to see you in this position. Hang in there, I'm praying hard for you.

Thanks for the prayers. I think you're right about the stress contributing. And not how I wanted, but I think the episode Monday opened his eyes. He has an interview Tuesday. If he gets the job (manufacturing) it'll pay $14-$15 an hour depending on the shift he gets. Minimum wage here is $8, so it's good pay. And summer they are working 7 days a week, so OT.

I might be a little depressed. I was treated for depression 20 years ago and while some parts are similar it's a different feel right now. I'm thinking more anxiety attacks, but I'm not certified to make a judgment.

On the previous post, I am improving. I feel 500% better than when I went in the hospital, but I only feel about 60% of normal. And the slow recovery is bothering me some.
 


Thanks for the prayers. I think you're right about the stress contributing. And not how I wanted, but I think the episode Monday opened his eyes. He has an interview Tuesday. If he gets the job (manufacturing) it'll pay $14-$15 an hour depending on the shift he gets. Minimum wage here is $8, so it's good pay. And summer they are working 7 days a week, so OT.

I might be a little depressed. I was treated for depression 20 years ago and while some parts are similar it's a different feel right now. I'm thinking more anxiety attacks, but I'm not certified to make a judgment.

On the previous post, I am improving. I feel 500% better than when I went in the hospital, but I only feel about 60% of normal. And the slow recovery is bothering me some.
The interview sounds promising. I hope he gets the job and glad you’re feeling better. Hopefully you’ve hit rock bottom and things will only improve from here on out.
 
Here's a virtual hug, Dave. I'm so sorry you are having these issues. I hope things get better. Sounds to me like you are a bit depressed. Emotional stress when not handled properly manifests into physical harm to the body. Stress kills. Can lead to all kinds of physical ailments.

Your fiance needs to get it together. Marriage is a partnership. It's not 50/50 but 100/100. Each partner needs to at least TRY to give 100 percent to a relationship to make it work. If he sees that him not working is contributing to stress which is leading you to have health issues, he should be applying to ANY place that will have him. I just don't agree with him still being "unemployed" after all this time. He can even work under the table to help you out. Just not ok.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but it boils my blood to see you in this position. Hang in there, I'm praying hard for you.

I couldn't agree more. Very well said. I would try some marriage counseling before getting married. It is much easier to get married than it is to get divorced. Invest in the time and effort now so you don't have regrets down the road. If it's meant to be, it will be. If your relationship is strong enough for marriage, the counseling will only make it stronger. Little disagreements/philosophies can grow over time to become much bigger, destructive ones.
Sometimes it's easy to get excited over the "wedding" but are you equally excited over being married? Would you be just as happily ever after if you just eloped?
I've seen many coworkers so crazed over their wedding planning that it seems they are simply into the wedding day itself and forget about the lifetime commitment.

Dave you're such a kind, generous person but like Ngwira says, it's hard for us to watch others seeming to take advantage of your kindness. Get yourself healthy and SIMPLIFY your life. :goodvibes

Done preaching...
:grouphug:
 


I couldn't agree more. Very well said. I would try some marriage counseling before getting married. It is much easier to get married than it is to get divorced. Invest in the time and effort now so you don't have regrets down the road. If it's meant to be, it will be. If your relationship is strong enough for marriage, the counseling will only make it stronger.

That sounds like a really great idea. I had not thought of marriage counseling as a way to grow together.

Little disagreements/philosophies can grow over time to become much bigger, destructive ones.

Yeah, I know. Right now, we haven't been talking much about some of these things. I know we need to, but if I mention something he says he doesn't want me to stress. There is a level at which he is correct, I do need to keep the stress levels down, but the other side is that not resolving these things will only create more stress down the road.

Sometimes it's easy to get excited over the "wedding" but are you equally excited over being married? Would you be just as happily ever after if you just eloped?
I've seen many coworkers so crazed over their wedding planning that it seems they are simply into the wedding day itself and forget about the lifetime commitment.

Somewhat guilty as charged. I am very excited over planning the wedding, but I am also excited about spending the rest of my life with my husband-to-be. I will be happy when we are married - big ceremony, small ceremony, or eloping.

Dave you're such a kind, generous person but like Ngwira says, it's hard for us to watch others seeming to take advantage of your kindness. Get yourself healthy and SIMPLIFY your life. :goodvibes

Done preaching...
:grouphug:

Thanks for the compliments and kind thoughts. And feel free to preach anytime you think I need it.
 
That sounds like a really great idea. I had not thought of marriage counseling as a way to grow together.



Yeah, I know. Right now, we haven't been talking much about some of these things. I know we need to, but if I mention something he says he doesn't want me to stress. There is a level at which he is correct, I do need to keep the stress levels down, but the other side is that not resolving these things will only create more stress down the road.



Somewhat guilty as charged. I am very excited over planning the wedding, but I am also excited about spending the rest of my life with my husband-to-be. I will be happy when we are married - big ceremony, small ceremony, or eloping.



Thanks for the compliments and kind thoughts. And feel free to preach anytime you think I need it.
The fact that you’re willing to do marriage counseling is a great sign. Hopefully your fiancé is also on board. How are the Vegas wedding plans coming along?
 
Take care of yourself, @dayvewc! You don't have anything if you don't have your health. Sounds very much like yours is stress-related. I hope things improve for you soon!

@Ngwira, I'll be flying out of DC as you're flying in! Too funny.

I'll have a raise in my paycheck this week as well. Should have about an extra $150.
Nice raise!!! Congrats.
 
It's nice when the government finally comes up off some money :rolleyes: It also occurred to me that I've been contributing to my IRA through post-tax deductions when really it would be smarter to do pre-tax deductions. It will lower my AGI for student loans so I should have lower monthly payments next year that way.
Nice!! Double congrats.
 
I'll have a raise in my paycheck this week as well. Should have about an extra $150.

I get an extra $6 a fortnight from 2 July. Big spender I will be!

Not much else happening, waiting for my tax return and work reimbursement, $4k worth. Clearly state and federal government's aren't in too much of a hurry but I'd like that back in my pocket asap!

DH also wants to build a deck, $3k for materials but his two B ILS and dad will help him build it so will save some $$$ there. Will just start buying materials as we have cash to hand over the next few months I think, and aim to build around Oct, before it gets too hot here.
 
The fact that you’re willing to do marriage counseling is a great sign. Hopefully your fiancé is also on board. How are the Vegas wedding plans coming along?

They are kind of on hold for now. The only way we can pay for it is out of his paycheck. So until he starts getting a check, we are in standby mode. Really, it will be a couple months down the road before we can consider it again. Have to pay off my medical bills first. We have talked briefly about a small ceremony with just family here, then do the Vegas thing in a couple years as a recommitment.
 
They are kind of on hold for now. The only way we can pay for it is out of his paycheck. So until he starts getting a check, we are in standby mode. Really, it will be a couple months down the road before we can consider it again. Have to pay off my medical bills first. We have talked briefly about a small ceremony with just family here, then do the Vegas thing in a couple years as a recommitment.
Did he get the job?
 
My grandma decided to do a complete 180 literally overnight and is now being released to go home, instead of going to a nursing home. I told my mom I was going to kick her butt for worrying all of us so much. I'm relieved because it gives me a few more checks to put some cash back, just in case.

We were also sitting around discussing Christmas the other day. We normally have a $150 budget for each other, $250 for each kid, and $200 for his adult son and his girlfriend. I kinda threw out the idea of doing a family trip to universal instead as Christmas/birthday presents. Pricing it out, 2 rooms at cabana bay, tickets, and their dining plan would run us around $5000. Not too bad for a week there with food included. We can upgrade our tickets to annual passes since we will be there for our honeymoon later in the year, which brings the "vacation" portion of the cost down quite a bit.
 
My grandma decided to do a complete 180 literally overnight and is now being released to go home, instead of going to a nursing home. I told my mom I was going to kick her butt for worrying all of us so much. I'm relieved because it gives me a few more checks to put some cash back, just in case.

We were also sitting around discussing Christmas the other day. We normally have a $150 budget for each other, $250 for each kid, and $200 for his adult son and his girlfriend. I kinda threw out the idea of doing a family trip to universal instead as Christmas/birthday presents. Pricing it out, 2 rooms at cabana bay, tickets, and their dining plan would run us around $5000. Not too bad for a week there with food included. We can upgrade our tickets to annual passes since we will be there for our honeymoon later in the year, which brings the "vacation" portion of the cost down quite a bit.
I would drop the dining plan and use your AP discount for dining instead. Upgrade your tickets when you first get there for the APs. Also, keep checking to see if they release room discounts for AP holders. You don’t need the AP to book them but you need to show the AP during the stay so you get that price at check-out.
 
Did he get the job?

He went through the final interview and told me that he passed. They are supposed to email him some documents for HR and let him know when he starts. So far, he hasn't told me he has received the email. It was supposed to be here today.
 
So, I haven't been posting in few weeks. Thought I'd check in and account for myself.

On the debt front - I'm losing. Almost ready to just surrender.

On the fiancee front - Still getting married. But he's still unemployed which is contributing to my losing the fight against debt. He said he was on board with dumping debt, but hasn't been working with me to stay on the budget. It's going to cause problems between us if we don't come to some understanding soon.

On the final front - About a month ago, I started feeling like I was coming down with a summer cold. Used all of my home remedies for a week and it never got better, so I went to the doctor. Two visits in 3 days, no improvement, reached a point where I could not breathe so wound up on an ambulance to the ER room. Official diagnosis was bronchitis. Spent a week in the hospital (which, even though I have insurance, it doesn't pay much, so contributing majorly to my losing the debt fight), and the pulmonologist that was assigned to me said she is confident that I actually have COPD. So, Monday I go in to be evaluated for that. Two weeks after I was dismissed from the hospital, I finally got the medicine that the specialist prescribed. It took that long for insurance to agree to pay anything, so instead of paying $450-ish each for 3 different scrips, I wound up paying $10 for 1, $80 for the second, and $150 for the third. Definitely better than it could have been, but wish it was better. Also, not helping the debt fight.

I've also been on a super emotional roller coaster since I was admitted to the hospital. Not sure if it is stress, the medicines, I was on, reaction to all of the above or what. But I can be sitting on the couch and everything is ok and a butterfly will go by the window and I start crying just because. 5 minutes later, there is an extra commercial in the break for the show I was watching will send me into a murderous rage. But 10 minutes after that, I'm perfectly fine.

Then, this past Monday, I was sitting on my front porch and like a switch was flipped, and I was really hot and sweating and there was a pulsating, stabbing pain at my sternum. I got up to go inside and my vision went white and everything looked bleached out. When I got in, I passed out for between 30 seconds to a minute. Freaked my roommates out. They called 911 for an ambulance. The paramedics stayed until I was recovered, but I didn't go back to the hospital. No way to pay for it. Went back to the doctor two days later, and he's sending me to a cardiologist just in case.

Ok. I'll try to stop my pity party for the moment. I just had to unload a little bit.
Sounds like you are reacting to some of the medication you are taking, I am no way a Dr. But 3 different meds. Can wack any system out. Especially an antibiotic. Good luck and get better.
 

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