Yep...
This was a bit of a long chapter.
(Good but longish)
Which means that now you get to suffer through a long set of utterly pointless replies...
Posted by a complete idiot....
Should'a considered that might happen, huh?
So after a few days, I phoned.
I found out three things.
1. They were still expecting us.
2. There was no mud.
3. Well... I'll reserve comment on this
until the next update.
Dun Dun Duuuunnnnn…
Sounds right ominous
(of course, in a perfect world, that gif would have been a capybara rather than a prairie dog, but my world ain’t perfect very often).
The infernal noise machine
jolted me out of bed at 5:15am.
We refer to our infernal noise machine as “Satin’s Minion”
(Just curious... oh, fine.
I'll even throw in some bonus points.
Who thinks that should be "Kay and I"?)
Was thinking about going off on a diatribe related to “English Teachers”, steel rulers, permanent disfigurement, and ongoing nightmares, but instead I’ll just say…
“me” sounds better, so I don’t care what the rule may or may not be.
Drive a few more hours and you hit...
Florida.
Your definition of “a few” seems to vary just a smidgen from mine.
Would that be an exchange rate thing or and metric conversion thing?
But her boyfriend is
originally from Columbia.
He does have his Canadian citizenship...
but after a few questions,
it turns out he wouldn't be allowed
into the US without a Visa.
On behalf of my Nation, I’d like to say…
As far as I know, he doesn't have
any credit cards, let alone a VISA,
Just as well…
His credit info would have been scooped up by the Equfax hack if he did.
Food & drinks in hand,
we turned south
and made a run for the border.
So…
7/11 food = Taco Bell food
(actually, that sounds about right, don’t it?)
Am I a threat to national security?
Probably…
I am, and you’re collaborating with me, so…
He gets down to business.
(Since he assumed I didn't have to.
I kinda felt like he gave me the bum's rush.)
I’ll be here all week…
Try the borscht!
Once inside the US,
I parked the car
so we could use your
wonderful American plumbing.
North Dakota highway limit is 75.
Apparently, I need to spend some time driving in North Dakota…
Something is very, very wrong.
(See how I figured that out?
I coulda been a mechanic!)
Well, a lot of mechanics are jerks…
Just ask Tom & Ray.
(well, you can’t ask Ray any more unfortunately, but Tom will back me up on this one)
Luckily, I always carry a tire pressure gauge.
Unluckily, this was Ruby's car.
She doesn't.
so much for being prepared.
I discussed the situation with Ruby.
We decided
(i.e. She told me.)
You have learned well over the years…
We decided to stop in Grand Forks anyway.
Apparently, the risk of death
loosens the bladder somewhat.
Everyone had to go.
Better than if no one needed to…
any more…
Of course, I missed the exit.
Exits... plural.
All of them.
I (not without some hesitation)
turned to Kay and asked if she wanted
to try driving again?
I was a bit surprised when she said "Yes".
Well, it didn’t turn out to be her, so it’s both good that you offered and she took you up in it.
We pulled into Fargo around lunch time
and headed straight for...
The Wurst Bier Hall.
It’s reputation precedes it
(for some of us, at least)
(I'm a poet and wasn't
cognizant of the fact.)
One should always properly mangle a cliché when the opportunity presents its self.
One of the best things about this place
(for those of us who don't drink beer.
Which in my family is... everyone.)
is that this place has amazing root beer.
On tap!
Cool. We’ve got a place that offers such down this way.
Too bad I dislike the taste of sassafras.
Another thing this place has is...
good food!
Which... being a restaurant, is a plus.
Taking a giant step up from the 7/11 here, I see.
Kay had a Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich,
with a side of spaetzle
Everything is better with a side of spaetzle.
Fully sated, we headed to the bustling,
hustling International Airport.
We managed to find a spot,
right in front of the departure area!
Which, if I'm not mistaken,
was also the arrival area.
As well as the Skycaps, the taxi dispatch, the concierge desk, the Tiffany’s boutique and the Starbucks
No big feat, considering
we were the only car there.
That Disney VIP bus/parking pass was still working for you, I see. Obviously all the rest of the lowlifes and ne'er-do-wells were forced to use the remote long term parking garage on the edge of town and catch the shuttle back into the main terminal.
Ruby drove off without so much
as a fare-thee-well.
Perfectly understandable…
She’d been dealing with jerks for better than three hours.
And I didn't find out until much later,
that they didn't have any issues at all.
I got to be stressed about it
for quite a while, though.
‘Cause, that’s what we do.
I'm curious, if any of you suspect
what the likely culprit was.
I did provide a clue.
A clue which I’m sure it slap missed…
I’m going go out on a bit of a limb and exonerate the vehicle in this instance (and surprisingly, both drivers as well), and shove all the blame onto the sorry state of south bound I-29. Weather can be brutal on the infrastructure and concrete roads tend to fair more poorly then one might expect.
Give me your best guess
and I'll throw some bonus points your way.
You don't have to be right.
Good thing, cause I see the notion of being correct in this instance as highly improbable.
We weighed our bags and
Mine was about 30lbs... (yes!)
and Kay's was... about 30lbs!
A far cry from the 7,245lbs
when we took her to Europe.
She has progressed, considerable
(My Missus has learned to pare down on the packing a great deal over the years as well…
better for both our backs.)
Going through the blow-up stuff detector,
the guard paused to pat down...
my ankle.
What?
New guy obviously…
Everyone knows you keep the knives and nerve-gas canisters hidden in the soles of your shoes.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me,
Kay had been taken into a closed
room for a pat down.
Do we need to contact the ACLU, for you?
Security hurdles crossed,
With three seconds added to you time for each one that you knocked down…
Kay was not happy.
She didn't like the first row.
She felt like people boarding
were looking at her.
No good dead…
Easy enough promise to make,
considering we weren't making
a return trip to Fargo.
Details, details…
You kept the promise (as stated)
MY BAG WAS FIRST!!!
That's never happened!
Never!!!!
They did that out of spite…
It bought you nothing and now you can no longer claim the distinction.
Kay looked at me with that look.
You know. The one every parent gets.
"Daddy... Do something."
The precursor to “The Look” that she’ll be using on some other poor slob in the future.
It’s a skill that takes time to prefect.
I walked past the sweating,
despairing mass of humanity
and marched right up to the desk.
"Emerald Aisle?" I asked.
The harried clerk pointed to the left
and said: "Through those doors, turn right."
Car Rental Fast Pass…
And you didn’t even need the Magic Bands.
A little big for just the two of us,
but... I dunno.
It just called to me.
The gold calls to us…
Oh, wait…
Wrong movie.
It was probable saying something more like:
“Hay Big Boy, I’ve got the best air conditioner out here. Just promise me you won’t spend too much time watching that silly ol’ fuel gauge, hummmm?”
Mea Culpa.
I'm pretty sure that's Latin for
"Sorry, not really sorry."
More often it appears to mean : “I’m sorry that I got caught”
For bonus points, say "yes".
“yes”
This has been a test of the National TR Skimming Avoidance System…
This was only a test.
Yep…
There was spaetzle
And sarsaparilla…
I wound up not getting her
what she'd originally planned on,
(I think it was Oreo Peeps?)
Thank the Lord…
Peeps are just one steep from Brussel Sprouts in terms of foulness.
And upon exiting the store,
we were surrounded by a terrifying horde
(i.e. two)
of Girl Scouts/Guides/whatever... leave me alone.
The only way to escape was to
succumb to their demands
Resistance is futile…
A few minutes later,
we arrived at our dinner destination.
That’s a new one on me (which being a Left-Coast establishment shouldn’t be surprising), but low-and behold, apparently they have a location near my homestead. Of course it is smack in the middle of the uppityist of up-scale neighborhoods (the kind of place where there are checkpoints to weigh your wallet before allowing entry by members of the hoi polloi), but it is there.
Her tastes differ from mine.
I only thought he was 'just okay'.
Just not your type, eh Big Boy….
Kay has a phone; it’s entirely plausible she took one.
Now if it had been a hot waitress...
You’d have broken out the Hugh Heffner costume and gotten a good picture outside with all the neon lights in the background?
Guess what we had?
No, really.
Guess.
I took a picture,
but forgot to note it.
"I'll just remember. No problem!"
Sparkling Cranberry Cooler on the left
Yours is tougher to suss out tough, but It looks more martini-ish then margarita-ish…
(too bad there aren’t any martinis on their published menu)
I ordered Jambalaya fettuccine
because Jambalaya is a creole
word that translates to:
"Dang! This is some fine food!"
“I Guar-an-tee!”
Kay picked birthday cake ice cream
with a brownie.
You know. For health reasons.
Mine.
She would've killed me
if I didn't let her.
Never come between a teen and a confection…
"Kay!" I cried. "Push your button!"
OK, this makes my snicker…
In our house (way back when, before he got all growed up and such), we would always quote the great Professor Fate’s gallant refrain: “Push the button, Max!”
Of course, He never got it until I sat him down to watch the film in question.
We still do so, but now he just rolls his eyes.
(She will push my buttons later in the trip.)
I do belive that would be a young’en’s Prime Directive.
Besides, we weren’t there to do it, so Extra points for the young lady.
Ahhhhhh.....
Now this... This!
is how one watches a movie.
Similar such extravagances have arrived down this way as well.
We first encountered such back in January, I think it was, and I was somewhat shocked as well.
I was surprised by the assigned seating first off and did the same double take as you when we walked into the theater. Not a trend that I was aware of till then.
1. What time do we get up in the morning?
7:00
2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?
Three…
3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?
You betch’em Red rider.
4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)
How about a Kangaroo
Maybe some Alpaca
A few Rabbits, I’m sure
And quite possibly an Emu…
5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)
Corn (well, corn husk at least)
6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?
Two
Bonus: Did you see it?
Try to be vague.
I'll let you know if you're
too vague.
“This redundant brick structure is obstructing my view of the data center!”