Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

[MeghanEmily]

There definitely may or may not
have been turbulence.
And the flight may or may not
have departed and/or arrived on time.


Precision. It's what my TRs are all about.

I wouldn't expect anything less from pkondz.

Nice digs!!

We set out on foot, for someplace
that shouldn't be a total surprise
to most of you.

Shocker!

Apparently, if you don't finish your meal,
you will be subjected to a spanking.


Uhh....

To quote Danny Glover in every
Lethal Weapon movie ever made
(I believe there are 62 of them)
and subsequently every movie
he was in thereafter...

I'm too old for this shi..... stuff.

Woah! I'm not yet 24 and I'm too old for this...stuff...too.

Oddly enough, the two original
Heart Attack Grills in Tempe, AZ
and Dallas, TX have closed.
And the one we visited,
lasted less than two months.

It's all about location, folks.
And masochism, I presume.
In one form or another.

Location, location, location!! They obviously didn't do enough research about where the highest populations of masochists reside.

Again, light on the photos,
but I did take this one of
just the Hershey's Kisses.

Heaven exists, and it's made of chocolate.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Let's see...
This trip happened over half a year ago...
And I took precisely zero notes.

Woohoo! Exploding helicopters, here we come!

This jaunt down to Vegas may not
be what you are expecting.
If you expect to see tons of Vegas Strip photos...
or even discussion of it...

Sorry.
Been there. Done that.

That's fine. We only made it halfway down the Strip before deciding we'd seen enough and heading out.

Did we take a helicopter ride
to see the Grand Canyon???


No.

But why not??? Besides funding, that is.

Actually, I've yet to see
the planet's second largest canyon.
But I'm hoping to next year.
And I doubt I'll ever see the largest.
But who knows?

This sent me immediately to Google. It seemed definite when measuring by length or depth, but inconclusive with regard to volume.

You know what throws me?
Our flight leaves at around 3pm
and gets into Vegas about 4pm.

But it's a three hour flight.

Time travel!!! So cool. And you were going way faster than 88 mph.

There definitely may or may not
have been turbulence.
And the flight may or may not
have departed and/or arrived on time.


Precision. It's what my TRs are all about.

That's ok. I may or may not be skimming instead of reading every word.

Of which I didn't take any photos
of the exterior.
But thanks to the wonders of Google,
it looks like this:

Laziest. TR. Ever.

We had booked a standard room,
but once again I did the credit card trick
and we were upgraded.

Wasn't quite sure what you meant, but I found your explanation in the responses. Pretty slick there.

So that's our room for the next three nights.

Looks pretty swanky.

I mean, come on.
Did you really think I wouldn't?
It was walking distance from the hotel
for Pete's sakes!

You visiting the Harley-Davidson store is as predictable as my Philadelphia sports teams breaking my heart.

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas
is famous for throwing caution to the wind.

Seen that one on TV!

I personally think that the best part
of the restaurant is that the waitresses
are all dressed as naughty nurses.

This would really apply in just about any situation though, wouldn't it?

And since:
1. This is a family board. And;
2. Ruby was with me.
I refrained from taking any photos of them.

That sound you just heard was crushing disappointment.

Feel free to Google.
What you do on your own time,
is totally up to you!


Okay, we'll just pause a moment
until @Captain_Oblivious gets back.

Hang on, I need to backspace "largest canyon in the world" out of there.

Wait, this is a work computer! Dagnabbit. I'll have to do it at home.

Wait, then I'll have to delete the browsing history before my wife sees it. I had no idea this was going to be so complicated!

Back, Mark?

Oh, just move on. I probably have a better chance of getting Julie to wear one of those outfits than I do of pulling this off without consequences.

Before entering this fine dining establishment,
patrons must be properly attired.
Yes. There is a rather strict dress code.

You have to don a hospital gown to eat there.

This makes total sense. They probably have an ambulance waiting in the alley. Saves lots of time this way.

We sat down and each ordered a burger.
Just a single bypass, thanks.
We split some onion rings
and I could see the disappointment
in our nurse's eyes.
"Split? Split? How.... healthy of you."

If you order a salad, do they go right to the spanking?

I made up for it by ordering a
Chocolate Peanut Butter shake.

There you go. That's the spirit.

Apparently, if you don't finish your meal,
you will be subjected to a spanking.

To quote Danny Glover in every
Lethal Weapon movie ever made
(I believe there are 62 of them)
and subsequently every movie
he was in thereafter...

I'm too old for this shi..... stuff.

And I've seen all 62 of them! Probably more times than I should have. And yes, I'm in the same category.

Which of course made me wonder
if there were patrons who came
in to deliberately not finish their
culinary dabbling with mortality.

I'm sure there are, but...boy, I just don't get that one.

I Triple Dog Dare you to wear that the next time @franandaj invites you to "the club".

How was it?
I can definitely give the food there
a resounding "Meh".
I've had wayyyy better burgers.
Not the worst, not even close.
But just... well, considering the hype,
a bit disappointing.

That stinks. Hate it when a place doesn't live up to the hype.

The nurse stood up as tall as she could,
stretched back her hand high into the air,
and as forcefully and brutally as she could,
she lashed out at the young man's rump.


The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.

I mean...just...

I'll never understand why anyone would invite pain into their lives. We get plenty on our own!

Oddly enough, the two original
Heart Attack Grills in Tempe, AZ
and Dallas, TX have closed.
And the one we visited,
lasted less than two months.

But it sounds so appealing...

I mean.... A whole world of chocolate?
And you really think I can walk past that?

Speaking of appealing!

But to bring home as gifts for the girls.

Veteran move. You've been doing this Dad thing for a while, I see.

Vegas never sleeps.
But we're old.

We do.

Amen.

 

[Mac Brew]

Hello there Pkondz
Wouldn't it be great if all burger joints made you wear a mock hospital gown that way you could smother your burger in your favourite condiment and not have to worry about slobering whilst consuming your food because the gown will protect your clothes.This will also save on any embarrassment as you have to asume that most of the male dinners will be dripping on to their gowns at the same time. Mind you though the price of your burger is going to go up to cover the resturants extra laundry bill.Vagas photo's always look beter at night.Nice hotel room, was your view good.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

As regards to my memory,
I can tell you what I had
for breakfast this morning!

That’s pretty good.
I mean considering that…

Ummm….


Who are you, again?

Actually, I've yet to see
the planet's second largest canyon.
But I'm hoping to next year.
And I doubt I'll ever see the largest.
But who knows?

Just mind that first step.
But then you wouldn't have to worry about keeping notes.

Whoops! Sorry! Tangent!

As someone who has been referred to as Major Tangent…
That hardly even qualifies.

Okay.
Enough rambling.

So, has this been an Allman Brothers type of rambling?
Or more the Steve Martin verity?

(A three hour flight.
The weather started getting rough,
The flying ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Boeing would be lost, the Boeing would be lost.)

Ahhhh…
It’s the Gilligan type of rambling.

I know the Professor tried to build a balloon at one point…
but I don’t think they ever tried to reproduce a Boeing.

There definitely may or may not
have been turbulence.

It’s just a flip of the coin…
heads: I win, tales: you lose.
(Sound fair to me.)

Precision Absurdity. It's what my TRs are all about.

There…
Fixed it for ya’.

We had booked a standard room,
but once again I did the credit card trick
and we were upgraded.

Point of order…
So, one Jackson is enough of a bribe in most hotel situations?
Somehow I figured in Vegas it’d take a Benji or better.

I know me…
I’d lose the cash and still get a crappy room overlooking the service ally and dumpsters.

We set out on foot, for someplace
that shouldn't be a total surprise
to most of you.

The surprise would have been if you’d have walked past it and said:
“Meh, not in the mood”.

It was beginning to look like
we were going to starve to death
in a sea of restaurants, snack shops and food carts.

My favorite restaurant is generally one that someone else picked.

Problem is, twenty-seven years on; my wife still doesn’t believe me when I tell her that.

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

I know of it.
Now, I’m not generally adverse to excess, but…
this spot is not one I’ve had any desire to seek out.
The description makes it clear that this course of action might include a small amount of wisdom
(not something I’m generally associated with).

Before entering this fine dining establishment,
patrons must be properly attired.
Yes. There is a rather strict dress code.

OK…
That is at least a little bit on the humorous side.
Ain’t no way I’m headed there now, but it’s an interesting gag.

Great portrait of your though, so…

The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.


I didn't laugh.
My jaw did however fall open in dis-belief.

Ummmm… yeah…
I wasn’t there and my jaw is somewhat agape.
I do believe the descriptive word I’m looking for here might be…

Nope!

It's all about location, folks.
And masochism, I presume.
In one form or another.

And that makes for a fairly clear and succinct review of the place.

I mean.... A whole world of chocolate?
And you really think I can walk past that?

Depends on the chocolate.


(but probably, not.)

Vegas never sleeps.
But we're old.

We do.

Amen broth’a

 

[orangecats2]

Did you know there's a Harley Davidson store in the New York New York? But it's not a dealership so maybe it's not a place you would want to go.

 

[pooh'smate]

Hey @pkondz we are headed to your part of the country in Sept or Oct can I send you a pm with some questions?

 

[Princess Leia]

Yay! It's been moved back!

Yay, we're back on the road!

This trip happened over half a year ago...
And I took precisely zero notes.

Mmm, yip try over a year ago. Only the really special or strange stuff stays in the memory.

Thankfully, I took a few photos while
we were there to jog my brain out of park.

That always helps. Although I need to get my brain over to automatic to make the analogy work. I always put mine in neutral when I park.

You know what throws me?
Our flight leaves at around 3pm
and gets into Vegas about 4pm.

But it's a three hour flight.

This blew my mind when we flew to Vancouver. I think the flight was eight and a half hours and we ended up arriving about half an hour after we left. Very strange!

So that's our room for the next three nights.

Looks good to me.

I mean, come on.
Did you really think I wouldn't?
It was walking distance from the hotel
for Pete's sakes!

It would have been silly not to. I love looking round Harley Stores.

But just... well, considering the hype,
a bit disappointing.

Isn't that so often the case with hyped places? I find that with a lot of Disney Dining.

We did take a slight detour
into Hershey's Chocolate World.

I love chocolate but I really dislike Hershey's. In fact I find most US chocolate is not that great. I do like Dark Chocolate Mint M&Ms which we don't get over here.

 

[jandlinz]

So glad to see you are doing another trip report. Any chance you'll get to Disneyland? I'm in desperate need of tips

I did take a few shots of our room.

Very nice! Is that wall paper behind the bed or marble?

I mean, come on.
Did you really think I wouldn't?

I absolutely thought you would. Isn't there more than one?

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

The description almost made me gag.

Okay, we'll just pause a moment
until @Captain_Oblivious gets back.

LOL! I wonder if he actually did look?

See? Far too old.

Nope, just right.

The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.

EEK!

We did take a slight detour
into Hershey's Chocolate World.

So much fun. I would have eaten so much I would have been sick. How did you control yourself?

Vegas never sleeps.
But we're old.

We do.

Last time I checked you never sleep!!!

When you check in, there's two things you need to do.
1. BE POLITE!
Don't demand. Don't tell. Simply ask.
I use the phrase "If you happen to have a nice room, that would be really appreciated."

2. Fold up a $20 and hand it hidden underneath the credit card you're using to check in.


In Vegas, it almost always works.
It worked wonders for us in Hawaii on our first visit.

Great tip. Do they ever say anything to you? For example, if they don't upgrade you do they still pocket the $20 or do they say, "Sorry Sir, you accidentally gave me $20".

 

[pkondz]

Morning all.

Went for a coaster ride last night.
Well.... an emotional one, but it still counts.

My sister is in town for a visit
and she loves our football team.

So... nice to see her,
nice we went to the game together,

but not so nice when the opposing team
scores a touchdown with one minute
and forty seconds left on the clock
to take a 12 point 40-28 lead.

Oh, well...


I turned to her and said
"No problem.
Just march the entire length of the field,
score a touchdown,
get the ball back right away
with an onside kick,
and score another touchdown...
In a minute and a half."

So that's what they did,
winning 41-40.

Most insane ending to a game
I've ever seen.

 

[mustinjourney]

Morning all.

Went for a coaster ride last night.
Well.... an emotional one, but it still counts.

My sister is in town for a visit
and she loves our football team.

So... nice to see her,
nice we went to the game together,

but not so nice when the opposing team
scores a touchdown with one minute
and forty seconds left on the clock
to take a 12 point 40-28 lead.

Oh, well...


I turned to her and said
"No problem.
Just march the entire length of the field,
score a touchdown,
get the ball back right away
with an onside kick,
and score another touchdown...
In a minute and a half."

So that's what they did,
winning 41-40.

Most insane ending to a game
I've ever seen.

That's pretty awesome!

Not sure if you ever watch US NCAA college football -- but there have been some epic games with similar endings.

Check out USC v. UT 2005 Rose Bowl (UT v. Mich 2004 Rose Bowl is also a great one).

Also -- 2014 TCU v. Baylor has an insane comeback.

http://6abc.com/sports/baylor-erases-21-point-deficit-in-final-11-minutes-stuns-tcu/346721/

 

[orangecats2]

Football? What kind of football? 12 points for one touchdown? You Canadians are weird!

 

[mustinjourney]

Football? What kind of football? 12 points for one touchdown? You Canadians are weird!

It was 13 points scored on two touchdowns and one extra point (he said they scored, then got the ball back with an onside kick). Presumably, they scored the last TD as time expired, and therefore, they did not kick that last extra point.

 

[pkondz]

Sheesh.
I go away for a few days and you people
post a bunch of comment!

<rolls up sleeves>

Shout outs coming up!

 

[pkondz]

I did sleep in until 8 this morning.

Not bad!

The guy I go to has is own shop so he starts as early as he needs to. I like to get in early and out. Too much to do on a Saturday.

Nice! And... yes.

On one of his trips they saw a Cirque du Soleil but I don't know which one. Maybe now that it's just us most of the time we'll give it a go.

They're probably all good.
I'd read that Ka and O
are two of the best.

Seen 'em both now.
I give the edge to Ka.

Thank the heavens it didn't. Love me a pkondz trip report.

Thanks!

On some things, yes you have.

Dang it!

Need to throw in more
exploding helicopters.

You didn't have the location plotted out before hand? I'm impressed.

Nope!
Same for Vancouver coming up.

Lucky for you.

How many have died there?

At least three.
The spokesperson,
an "unofficial" spokesperson
and at least one other customer.

Best to avoid that.

No kidding! Nope. Nope. Noppitty nope.

Oh no! I can see that happening.

Thankfully.... not that time.

and more of that. . and just a bit more of those.. YUM!

Happy to help you justify it. Remember calories don't count on vacations, even short one.

Correct!

 

[pkondz]

So I take a break from you TR, and when I come back we have naughty nurses and paddlings. I can't leave you alone for a minute.

But you and Joe could join me for another ice cream.

 

[pkondz]

Seems I've been caught unawares of an update.

I do that.

I have a good excuse though, I went camping, and flying, and hiking, and swimming, and photographing, and....

Well, that sounds like fun!
I did know you went flying,
saw that on FB.

How was it?!?!?

But, I have read the chapter and will have to comment when I return from work tomorrow.

Let's see... this was posted Monday...
There better be some comments up ahead!

I'll make sure to put on my naughty nurse persona while doing my replying so all of my comments will in character.

I had no idea you had
a naughty nurse persona!

<Liesa jumps to the front
of the line in the Harem.>

Hope you're having a fantastic day!

I have no idea!

Hmmmmm....
This is Friday.
I do know I drove a lot that day.

Hmmm... no incidents on the way down at least.

Yep. It was an okay day.

 

[pkondz]

I wouldn't expect anything less from pkondz.

Always with the precision!
Always!

Usually!

Practically all the time!

Sometimes!

Occasionally!

Nice digs!!

Weren't too shabby.

Shocker!

Sorry about that.
I should have given some warning.

Woah! I'm not yet 24 and I'm too old for this...stuff...too.

No paddling. Check.

Location, location, location!! They obviously didn't do enough research about where the highest populations of masochists reside.

Marquis De Sade-ville

Heaven exists, and it's made of chocolate.

 

[pkondz]

Woohoo! Exploding helicopters, here we come!

But of course!

That's fine. We only made it halfway down the Strip before deciding we'd seen enough and heading out.

Interesting.
There are some good things to see/eat/do on the strip.
Perhaps you didn't venture farther enough.

But why not??? Besides funding, that is.

Time.

This sent me immediately to Google. It seemed definite when measuring by length or depth, but inconclusive with regard to volume.

I knew someone would bite.

Time travel!!! So cool. And you were going way faster than 88 mph.

If you go fast enough,
the world spins in the opposite direction.

Saw that on Superman.

(Think 1978 version.)

That's ok. I may or may not be skimming instead of reading every word.

Say what?!?!?!?

Laziest. TR. Ever.

You expect to put my best work
into a product that you are
merely skimming???

Wasn't quite sure what you meant, but I found your explanation in the responses. Pretty slick there.

It works.
Worth it.

Looks pretty swanky.

Not bad... not bad...

You visiting the Harley-Davidson store is as predictable as my Philadelphia sports teams breaking my heart.

So... a certainty, then.

Seen that one on TV!

Me too.
The nurses had nothing at all
to do with my wanting to go.

This would really apply in just about any situation though, wouldn't it?

Yes. That is a truism.

That sound you just heard was crushing disappointment.

Sorry, dude.
You'll just have to go.

Hang on, I need to backspace "largest canyon in the world" out of there.

Wait, this is a work computer! Dagnabbit. I'll have to do it at home.

Wait, then I'll have to delete the browsing history before my wife sees it. I had no idea this was going to be so complicated!

Two words.
Internet. Café.

Oh, just move on. I probably have a better chance of getting Julie to wear one of those outfits than I do of pulling this off without consequences.

This makes total sense. They probably have an ambulance waiting in the alley. Saves lots of time this way.

Absolutely!
They must have one of those
shock kits around, right?

If you order a salad, do they go right to the spanking?

They actually do have a
vegetarian option!

Hang on, I'll find you a photo...

Got it:

There you go. That's the spirit.

Took one for the team.

And I've seen all 62 of them! Probably more times than I should have. And yes, I'm in the same category.

I'm sure there are, but...boy, I just don't get that one.

Nope. Me neither.

I Triple Dog Dare you to wear that the next time @franandaj invites you to "the club".

Well, I would, but...
If Alison's friend finds out...
Not only would I be banned...

But probably she would too!

That stinks. Hate it when a place doesn't live up to the hype.

Cute girls and a catchy idea are one thing...

But you better deliver where it counts.


Don't get me wrong.
It wasn't the worst burger I'd ever eaten...
but it was far (faaaarrrrr) from the best.

I mean...just...

I'll never understand why anyone would invite pain into their lives. We get plenty on our own!

Yes I am married too, why?

But it sounds so appealing...

If the food was a bit better....
But... quality over quantity, please.

Besides, I can get this right here in town:

Plus... I've had their burgers. And they're good.
(No, not that one. Just a single, thanks.)

Veteran move. You've been doing this Dad thing for a while, I see.

Yep! Old hand, now.

Amen.

zzzzzz... huh? Whaza?

 

[pkondz]

Hello there Pkondz
Wouldn't it be great if all burger joints made you wear a mock hospital gown that way you could smother your burger in your favourite condiment and not have to worry about slobering whilst consuming your food because the gown will protect your clothes.This will also save on any embarrassment as you have to asume that most of the male dinners will be dripping on to their gowns at the same time.

Not a bad idea!
Maybe I should buy stock...

. Mind you though the price of your burger is going to go up to cover the resturants extra laundry bill.

Not if they buy in bulk.
They could use those paper ones.

Vagas photo's always look beter at night.

All the neon.

Nice hotel room, was your view good.

It was nice.
I'll have a photo of the view a little later.

 

[pkondz]

That’s pretty good.
I mean considering that…

Ummm….


Who are you, again?

Green!

Uh, sorry. That wasn't the question?

Just mind that first step.
But then you wouldn't have to worry about keeping notes.

Good point!
Cuts down on the photo editing too.

As someone who has been referred to as Major Tangent…
That hardly even qualifies.

So, has this been an Allman Brothers type of rambling?
Or more the Steve Martin verity?

See next comment...

Ahhhh…
It’s the Gilligan type of rambling.

There ya go.

I know the Professor tried to build a balloon at one point…
but I don’t think they ever tried to reproduce a Boeing.

Think big or go home.


Wait.....

It’s just a flip of the coin…
heads: I win, tales: you lose.
(Sound fair to me.)

I remember the first time I heard that.
So glad I got to recycle it on the kids.

There…
Fixed it for ya’.

Point of order…
So, one Jackson is enough of a bribe in most hotel situations?
Somehow I figured in Vegas it’d take a Benji or better.

Nope. $20 is just fine.

Although...

I wonder if you tipped more...
A lot more... if they'd comp you.

I know me…
I’d lose the cash and still get a crappy room overlooking the service ally and dumpsters.

Ever seen Best In Show?

http://cinema.com/image_lib/4141_a_thumb.jpg

They wound up in the utility closet.

The surprise would have been if you’d have walked past it and said:
“Meh, not in the mood”.

Dang!


Nah. Wanted the poker chip.

My favorite restaurant is generally one that someone else picked.

Problem is, twenty-seven years on; my wife still doesn’t believe me when I tell her that.

You sure?
Or is she subtly, unknowingly
directing you to the places
she wants to go to?

I know of it.
Now, I’m not generally adverse to excess, but…
this spot is not one I’ve had any desire to seek out.
The description makes it clear that this course of action might include a small amount of wisdom
(not something I’m generally associated with).

Sounds like you figured it out
before we did!

OK…
That is at least a little bit on the humorous side.
Ain’t no way I’m headed there now, but it’s an interesting gag.

But once was enough.

Ummmm… yeah…
I wasn’t there and my jaw is somewhat agape.
I do believe the descriptive word I’m looking for here might be…

Nope!

Correct!

And that makes for a fairly clear and succinct review of the place.

Depends on the chocolate.


(but probably, not.)

mmmm...... chocolate....

But you're right.
There's chocolate...
and there's chocolate.

Amen broth’a

zzzzzzzzzzz...